How to Click with People: The Secret to Better Relationships in Business and in Life

Overview

The Secret to Building Better Relationships in Business and in Life

With some people, you just click. The connection is quick and easy. Communication flows. You can tell them anything and they know just what you mean. When you connect in this way, you feel understood and accepted for who you really are. You "get" these people and they get you.

We think of this connection as an instantaneous thing, something that either happens or doesn't. Not ...

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How to Click with People: The Secret to Better Relationships in Business and in Life

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Overview

The Secret to Building Better Relationships in Business and in Life

With some people, you just click. The connection is quick and easy. Communication flows. You can tell them anything and they know just what you mean. When you connect in this way, you feel understood and accepted for who you really are. You "get" these people and they get you.

We think of this connection as an instantaneous thing, something that either happens or doesn't. Not so, says author Dr. Rick Kirschner. This connection isn't a magical phenomenon; it's a communication skill that can be learned with specific steps and techniques. Based on the author's three decades of experience as an interpersonal communication expert, How to Click with People will show you how to:

-Recognize and respond effectively to the four basic communication styles everyone uses
-Speak the same language as the person you're talking to, whether emotional or intellectual
-Connect in a digital age ruled by e-mail and social media
-Master the 7 Signals that will make you-and your ideas-click with others
-Troubleshoot the nine obstacles that could be in your way and learn how to avoid or overcome them

In the end, Kirschner argues that these skills are crucial because success has less to do with professional knowledge than with "the ability to express ideas, to assume leadership, and to arouse enthusiasm among people." In this How to Win Friends and Influence People for the twenty-first century, he gives readers the advice and insights they need to strengthen their relationships and take charge of their future.

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Editorial Reviews

Publishers Weekly
What’s the best way to forge successful business relationships? Identify what you have in common and make the most of it, argues Kirschner (Dealing with People You can't Stand). Essential to his message is that the click so many of us look for is not a mystical, spontaneous connection—it’s created and maintained. Kirschner walks readers through the process of "getting" someone, from the initial spark to the development of a mutually beneficial relationship. Particular attention is paid to the method of recognizing what will work best with whom: understanding your target’s motivations, how to woo using body language and personal space, and signaling to the another person that you are on his or her side. Through a stream of stories and examples, Kirschner encourages readers to use "clicking" not only to develop stronger partnerships and to resolve interpersonal problems but to make ideas emotionally attractive and persuasive. This illuminating study of communication with its direct and sage advice will be a boon to businesspeople at all levels. (July)
Stephen Lundin
"Clicking with people isn't something that just happens or doesn't. In this practical and engaging new book, Dr. Rick Kirschner gives readers the skills they need to stop depending on chance and start actively clicking with people at work and in life."
Mark Sanborn
"Both enjoyable to read and full of easy to apply ideas, How to Click with People is a comprehensive explanation of how to connect with the people in your life. If you want to build better relationships, I recommend it."
Daniel Burrus
"Wise people know that the future is all about people, and Rick Kirschner's new book How to Click with People is a must-read for anyone who wants to understand and use the transformative power of relationships both in business and in life."
Jill Konrath
"In today's crazy-busy business environment, building strong relationships with frazzled customers and co-workers is essential to your success. Kirschner shows you practical strategies to quickly 'click' with even the most challenging individuals."
From the Publisher
"Clicking with people isn't something that just happens or doesn't. In this practical and engaging new book, Dr. Rick Kirschner gives readers the skills they need to stop depending on chance and start actively clicking with people at work and in life."—Stephen Lundin, bestselling coauthor of Fish!

"Both enjoyable to read and full of easy to apply ideas, How to Click with People is a comprehensive explanation of how to connect with the people in your life. If you want to build better relationships, I recommend it."—Mark Sanborn, bestselling author of The Fred Factor

"Wise people know that the future is all about people, and Rick Kirschner's new book How to Click with People is a must-read for anyone who wants to understand and use the transformative power of relationships both in business and in life."—Daniel Burrus, author of the New York Times bestseller Flash Foresight

"In today's crazy-busy business environment, building strong relationships with frazzled customers and co-workers is essential to your success. Kirschner shows you practical strategies to quickly 'click' with even the most challenging individuals."—Jill Konrath, author of SNAP Selling and Selling to Big Companies

Library Journal
Anyone who has taken a leadership or effective-management seminar will recognize the concepts that motivational lecturer Kirschner (Dealing with Difficult People) here outlines. Kirschner tells us that clicking with others is based on resonance or feelings of similarity and that when these feelings do not happen naturally they can be created. He explains strategies for identifying and using a person's motivation (values, reward, challenge, esteem, purpose, feelings) and communication style (action, accuracy, approval, appreciation) to create resonance or "blending"—both in person and at a distance (via phone, email, and online). Kirschner explains how to use behaviors such as connected listening, positive projection, and the seven core signals (affinity, comparison, conformity, reciprocity, authority, consistency, and scarcity) to achieve the click and to add persuasive power to our ideas. He also identifies nine stumbling blocks that impede clicking and suggests ways to overcome them. VERDICT A quick read with practical advice for improving communication, this will be of interest to first-time managers, new professionals, and those looking to improve their people skills.—Sara Holder, McGill Univ. Lib., Montreal
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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9781401323202
  • Publisher: Hyperion
  • Publication date: 7/5/2011
  • Pages: 272
  • Sales rank: 336,972
  • Product dimensions: 5.50 (w) x 8.40 (h) x 0.90 (d)

Meet the Author

Dr. Rick Kirschner is an international bestselling author, including Dealing With People You Can't Stand: How To Bring Out the Best in People at Their Worst, Love Thy Customer, and Insider's Guide to the Art of Persuasion. Dr. Kirschner is a faculty member of the Institute for Management Studies, and an adjunct professor at Southwest College of Naturopathic Medicine.

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Table of Contents

Acknowledgments ix

Introduction 1

Chapter 1 The Basic Click 7

Chapter 2 Clickabillty-What Is It and Who Has It? 17

Chapter 3 A Short Course on Listening 32

Chapter 4 Click in Style 49

Chapter 5 Motivation to Click 65

Chapter 6 What My Cowbell Says About Me: Identifying Values to Click 91

Chapter 7 Clicking Electronically 108

Chapter 8 Troubleshooting 137

Chapter 9 The Click Zone 160

Chapter 10 Emotional Click Signals 165

Chapter 11 Make Your Point 202

Chapter 12 Stumbling Blocks 213

Chapter 13 Group Click 239

Chapter 14 Why We Click 253

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