How to Cook Children: A Grisly Recipe Book

( 1 )

Overview

Every dish in this very unique cookbook has one thing in common: the main ingredient is children! Many famous culinary witches have contributed—from Barfa Stew-Wart to India's favorite Kideeta Skingh and Janie Groviller from Britain—and each of their recipes is introduced by the general editor Esmelia Sniff. Recipes range from such tangy delights as Seared Tina in Boy Sauce on a Bed of Fragrant Lice to the more filling Bratwurst and Upset Cabbage to sweet Flat Jacks. Featuring a dark subject matter but ...

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Overview

Every dish in this very unique cookbook has one thing in common: the main ingredient is children! Many famous culinary witches have contributed—from Barfa Stew-Wart to India's favorite Kideeta Skingh and Janie Groviller from Britain—and each of their recipes is introduced by the general editor Esmelia Sniff. Recipes range from such tangy delights as Seared Tina in Boy Sauce on a Bed of Fragrant Lice to the more filling Bratwurst and Upset Cabbage to sweet Flat Jacks. Featuring a dark subject matter but laugh-out-loud jokes, absurd characters, and beautiful illustrations, this is the perfect cookbook for parents and children alike.

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Editorial Reviews

From the Publisher
"Quite simply the best book for cooking with children ever written. The recipes are mouth-watering and Esmelia Sniff is a laugh-out-loud kitchen nightmare. There are very few chefs who can change the way we think about food, but thanks to Esmelia and her pointy-hatted friends I'll be putting youngsters on the menu in all my restaurants from now on."  —Gordon Ramsay
School Library Journal
Gr 3–6—Recipes from witches, all with children as a main ingredient. A Japanese witch ("The Dishonourable Lady Soo-Shi") offers "Seared Tina in Boy Sauce on a Bed of Fragrant Lice." How do you prepare Tina for this dish? Tie her to a tree (by a riverbank) with ribbons, float some blossoms in the water, and then hack her up with a cleaver. This type of violence (not to mention cultural stereotyping) abounds, and certain kids will just love it. The Spanish witch is fiery and passionate, the Scot is dour, and one of the U.S. witches is a redneck, overweight biker. Some recipes are really funny; concerning Consuela del Diablo, "Last time someone drank her 'love potion' he ended up falling in love with three donkeys, a clam and his own moustache." Others are easy shots, like directions to add various types of "wee wee" to the concoctions. The many small and large humorous pictures throughout are prominent against the white pages. Stimpson has worked with Walt Disney Feature Animation, and his slick, colorful style shows it. An advertising section adds to the fun: anyone want to buy a HAG 3000 SuperOven, offered by Hansel and Gretel Industries? Overall, this is a rich dish that is likely to drive adults crazy, but read aloud by some children ad nauseam. If you work with those children, swallow hard, buy the book, and remind library catalogers NOT to classify it in the 641s.—Lauralyn Persson, Wilmette Public Library, IL
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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9781862057715
  • Publisher: Pavilion Books, Limited
  • Publication date: 9/1/2009
  • Pages: 80
  • Sales rank: 505,042
  • Age range: 9 - 12 Years
  • Product dimensions: 8.70 (w) x 10.90 (h) x 0.50 (d)

Meet the Author

Martin Howard is the author of The Bad Dog’s Diary and Bad Dog’s Diary: Blake’s Progress. Colin Stimpson is an illustrator who has worked for Steven Spielberg's Amblimation studio and for Disney Feature Animation. He is the illustrator of The Poison Diaries.

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Customer Reviews

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Sort by: Showing 1 Customer Reviews
  • Posted January 7, 2014

    They're Magically Delicious!

    I purchased the hardcover version of this book for my grandson (an aspiring chef and sorcerer) and loved it so much, I bought the paperback for myself. The artwork is funny and imaginative, each contributing witch (Martha Stew-wart is my favorite) is delightful and the recipes are, well, gross. And very, very funny. This is a great book for children that don't scare easily and aren't prone to nightmares. And if your kids are too afraid to read it, buy it for yourself.

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