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HOW TO FRENCH-KISS WITH CONFIDENCE (Chapter One)What Is a French Kiss?
The French kiss is the most intimate, sensual, and exciting kiss and yet up until now there have been no explicit descriptions of it for lovers to study. Young people interested in the French kiss, also known as the soul kiss or tongue kiss, have had to rely upon chance or luck in perfecting it. Typically lovers stumble upon the kiss accidentally while on a date. It might happen this way….
You are sitting with your sweetheart on the couch. You had planned to take in a movie, but after her parents go out for the evening she suddenly suggests that you stay inside. She picks up a book of love poetry and wonders what you think of a certain poem by Tennyson. You lean over to read the poem. Suddenly you are sitting right next to her. The poem is entitled “Kisses.” You look down at the page and begin:
Once he drew
With one long kiss my whole soul through
My lips, as the sunlight drinketh dew.
You are just about to kiss her when she takes the initiative by moving forward to kiss you. What a pleasant surprise! You yield to her, becoming passive for a moment as she leads the way. You are so torpid, so easy, so yielding that as she presses her mouth against yours, your lips slowly part and her tongue slips inside your mouth for a moment. Now she is perhaps a bit shocked and she draws back.
“We better stop for a while,” she says.
Now you kiss her, and as you do her lips open and your tongue slides lightly and effortlessly into the soft interior of her mouth. You can hear her breathing. You have forgotten to breathe yourself. Finally you remember to inhale through your nose so that you can prolong the kiss. Your heart is pounding and you feel you have broken through to new territory—and indeed you have. You think you have been perhaps too aggressive. But your fears are allayed when you feel her tongue meet yours. Her mouth feels and tastes so delicious as your tongues twist about each other. And now her tongue pushes slowly and deeply into your mouth. She is so bold, almost brazen in her exploration.
There are no words that can adequately describe the sensation of a good French kiss. Suffice it to say that you have now reached an advanced stage of kissing that can lead to almost symbiotic closeness. Handle this kiss with care and it will pay you rich dividends. You will get to know each other in a new and intimate way for the French kiss can bring you even closer than the act of sex.
Her family was expected back in two hours. Can you believe it, here they come now! How can it be? Have two hours slipped by so quickly? Your heart is still beating fast as the two of you move slightly apart. But you feel that you are still in contact with her. Somehow the French kiss has brought you so close together that for hours and days afterward you will feel different toward each other. It’s as if a mystical connection links the two of you together. Ah, the delight of it! Ah, the secret thrill!
Do you like French-kissing?
Ninety-six percent of men and women said they liked this kiss at least some of the time, making it one of the most popular forms of kissing.
“When I think of French-kissing, one man in particular comes to mind. His French kisses weren’t sloppy or overly wet. They were penetrating. He used to play chase with his tongue and my tongue in such a way that I wanted it to never stop.”
“Very much—you feel like you’re melting into each other.”
“I like the speed, depth, unification with the other.”
“The more tongue the better!”
“I like deep, fast, hard tongue kisses.”
“The French kiss I could do for hours. I place one hand on the girl’s lower back and the other by the side of her head and play with her hair. I breathe with my nose and playfully stick my tongue in and out of her mouth, licking her lips and sucking the air out of her mouth.”
“I don’t enjoy wide-open wet exploring. I like to French with the mouth only slightly open and prefer a softer, more gently probing kiss.”
“When I was first kissed this way I felt in some sense violated. I didn’t want anybody putting anything of theirs in anything of mine! If I’d been asked I would’ve been more receptive, but I wasn’t and it seemed a bit gross. After a few times and some weeks I got the hang of it but it’s not my favorite form. I do enjoy having someone run her tongue along the sides of my teeth up around the gums. I don’t enjoy the stabbing, penetrating, rigid-tongued kiss. I like the fooling-around kind of kiss, a little dance kind of kissing.”
Why is it called a French kiss?
The term French kiss came into the English language in 1923 as a slur on French culture, which was thought to be overly concerned with sex. In France it’s called a tongue kiss or a soul kiss because if you do it right it feels like your souls are merging.
What if I’ve never done it before?
Some young people who have never kissed before worry about their first kiss and think, What if it turns into a French kiss? How will I deal with it? And what if my partner can tell it’s my first time?
First of all, let me assure you that it’s impossible for anyone to know it’s your first kiss or your first French kiss. They’ll never know unless you tell them. If you’ve never kissed before just keep your mouth closed during your first kiss. If the boy tries to stick his tongue into your mouth before you’re ready, pull back gently and stop kissing. “Wait a minute,” tell him. “You’re moving too fast.” But if you’d like to try it, open your mouth and play chase back and forth with your tongue and his. If it gets to be too much you can always gently lean back and close your mouth to end it. Gasp a little and push him away. He’ll get the message. Remember you always have the option of saying, “Let’s take a break,” so don’t hesitate to slow things down if he’s going too fast.
In summary, the French kiss is the most popular kiss because it is the most exciting. Even young people who have never French-kissed begin to dream about it as this comment from a fourteen-year-old humorously demonstrates. “The person I was kissing was sitting on the bus seat and I was right next to him and I gave him a quick kiss but then all of a sudden I just had the idea to do something with my tongue, and I licked Taylor on the side of his cheek! And it was a big lick too! I guess I was in the mood for French-kissing but had to show my feelings some other way.”
HOW TO FRENCH-KISS WITH CONFIDENCE Copyright © 2005 by William Cane