How to Grow Up and Rule the World (Vordak the Incomprehensible Series)

( 20 )

Overview

Slip on your acid-free gloves, make sure you have a duplicate copy of How to Grow Up and Rule the World (just in case something should happen to this one) and try to follow along as the incomparable, superior-in-all-ways Vordak the Incomprehensible teaches you a thing or two about villainy.  Now you, too, can try (and fail) to attain Vordak's level of infamy.

From selecting the most dastardly name, to choosing the ideal henchmen, to ...

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How to Grow Up and Rule the World (Vordak the Incomprehensible Series)

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Overview

Slip on your acid-free gloves, make sure you have a duplicate copy of How to Grow Up and Rule the World (just in case something should happen to this one) and try to follow along as the incomparable, superior-in-all-ways Vordak the Incomprehensible teaches you a thing or two about villainy.  Now you, too, can try (and fail) to attain Vordak's level of infamy.

From selecting the most dastardly name, to choosing the ideal henchmen, to engaging in witty repartee with disgustingly chipper superheroes, experienced supervillain Vordak the Incomprehensible guides readers step-by-step toward the ultimate goal of world domination (from his parents' basement in Trenton, New Jersey). 
With chapter titles like "Bringing Out the Evil" and "Building a Top-Notch Evil Organization," numerous bold illustrations, and detailed quizzes to assess your level of dastardliness, this book provides everything necessary to rise above the masses, and then rub your ascent in their faces.

In return for this wealth of knowledge, Vordak requests nothing more than an honored place in the evil regime of he who achieves control of the world. (And, of course, the opportunity to assume command, should things not work out.)

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Editorial Reviews

Publishers Weekly
Writing as the ultra-evil Vordak the Incomprehensible, Seegert offers a comical step-by-step guide to world domination. With a hyperbolically inflated self-image and no shortage of bathroom humor, Vordak guides readers through such topics as how to choose a costume (“the more flamboyant the better”), build a lair, and acquire enough minions to build a top-notch evil organization (“At times they can be difficult to control, but at their best they can be a relentless plague upon civilization”), all of which are paired with Martin’s appropriately cartoonish artwork. Seegert gives Vordak a voice so magnetic and absurd that readers, especially young male ones, are going to soak up his warped wisdom like a sponge and circulate it at recess, even as Vordak insults them with admonishments like, “You are just a sniveling, whiny little goober, after all.” No one is going to rule the world after reading Vordak’s farcical directives, but readers will have a grand time turning pages to see what outlandish thing he’ll say or suggest next, while perfecting their own villainous laughs. Muahahahaha! Ages 8-up. (Aug.)
School Library Journal
Gr 4–8—Evil mastermind Vordak the Incomprehensible shares his "evilosity" with aspiring supervillains in this hilarious spoof on superheroes. His comical narration features over-the-top self-congratulation matched by supreme contempt for readers and everyone else. He applies that bravado with great comic effect, sharing evil insights on everything from "choosing the lair that's right for you" to the four basic options for costume color: "dark black, black, light black, and dark dark dark dark gray." Each section goes beyond obvious jokes to explore all possible angles of satire. The "Bringing Out the EVIL" chapter, for instance, includes evil laughter tips, evil manners, "three ways to make your little brother look like an idiot," and a description of Santa Claus as an evil genius. Comical black-and-white cartoons on nearly every page extend the humor. Many, like the "lemon-based-beverage" stand, work as stand-alone jokes. Vordak's distinctive voice, peppered with alliteration typical of the genre, remains fresh and funny throughout. Pop-culture references and varied elements of grossness are sprinkled in regularly, along with 15 "commandments of incomprehensibility" and repeated references to "diabolically clever yet slow-acting death traps," which get funnier each time. So does the ironic fact that despite his egotistical rants, Vordak is actually a completely unsuccessful supervillain. The humor, subject matter, and visual appeal should make this a top choice for fans of Jeff Kinney's "Wimpy Kid" (Abrams) and Dav Pilkey's "Captain Underpants" (Scholastic) as well as any readers who enjoy superheroes without taking them too seriously.—Steven Engelfried, Wilsonville Public Library, OR
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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9781606840139
  • Publisher: EgmontUSA
  • Publication date: 8/24/2010
  • Series: Vordak the Incomprehensible Series
  • Pages: 208
  • Sales rank: 642,553
  • Age range: 9 - 12 Years
  • Product dimensions: 6.44 (w) x 11.06 (h) x 0.78 (d)

Meet the Author

Scott Seegert lives in Michigan with his family.  He is the author of one book for adults.  This is all of the information that Vordak will allow us to share.  Please visit him online at www.scottseegert.com. Visit Vordak online at www.vordak.com.
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Customer Reviews

Average Rating 4.5
( 20 )
Rating Distribution

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(16)

4 Star

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Sort by: Showing all of 20 Customer Reviews
  • Posted May 26, 2011

    more from this reviewer

    What to grow up and rule the world? This MIGHT do it!

    If you are a kid who would love to rule the world this is the book for you! I'm not a kid, (okay, I am one at heart,) I laughed and smiled the whole way through this tongue-in-cheek book, HOW TO GROW UP AND RULE THE WORLD, Vordak The Incomprehensible.
    Vordak The Incomprehensible, Mu Ahahahaha!!! Is a world-class Supervillian and your instructor to begin learning how to rule the world. Without Vordak you will not make it. PERIOD!
    You as a lowly troglodyte (inferior human or caveman as Wikipedia calls it,) have to prove yourself and come up through the ranks by being humiliated and demeaned often by your tyrant and supervillian of a teacher, Vordak. While teaching Vordak finds ways to try and make you out to be an imbecile which is all done in fun as well as so that superheros everywhere should beware of you once you have graduated to supervillian and are RULING THE WORLD!
    To become this supervillian you have to learn: Vordak The Incomprehensible's fifteen mind-numbing commandments of incomprehensibility, his step by step villainous instructions, how to interact with underlings, learn who your arch-nemesis is, (everyone has on!) through a dossier of superheros so you will know them when you see them. And learn why it's the same thing for bad guys to wear bright colors costumes or eat a bucket of nails. Everybody knows no-good-doers ONLY wear black and other shades of black! You will also learn what the world's biggest loser really means.
    Besides costumes, helmets and many other things you will need at else one strongman; one with wings is best!
    It all comes to an end with the six mistakes to avoid making when issuing an ultimatum which is so cute, (YES CUTE!) and we discover that in truth, no superheros are REALLY ever harmed.
    This just might be a book to help a reluctant reader appreciate reading and even pick up a dictionary to enjoy the book more. I think the reading level should be for kids in the 10 to 13 age range. There are a few pranks in it that just might get younger children into hot water.

    The book is REALLY written by Scott Seegert, flows well and keeps the comical laughter coming to the end. The illustrations by John Martin are part of the fun and charm of the book making you laugh harder and help move the story along.

    ~ Author and Illustrator J.D. Holiday

    4 out of 4 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Posted September 30, 2010

    THIS BOOK IS THE AWESOMEST THING SINCE CHRISTMAS!!!

    I'm Annabel Winters-McCabe age 10, and I love this book! It is so creative funny and imaginative. It makes Vordak seem so life-like, and if you're on facebook be sure to friend Vordak T. Incomprehensible! I would recommend this to anyone age 8 to 108 who wants to laugh out loud!

    4 out of 5 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Posted September 5, 2010

    Rule the World with Vordak The Incomprehensible!

    From the evil lair to the evil costume, Vordak the Incomprehensible: How to Grow Up and Rule the World has it all. Learn the secrets of evil and the modern world, like how Santa is an evil genius that has a slave labor force of easily intimidated elves, or how it's a small world or Barny can be used has perfect torture options. This book is perfect for children that want to stick it to society or kids that want to make extra money ergo the tips on how to brainwash people into buying your lemonade or holding peoples pets and kids hostage using a fake babysitting service. So in my eyes Vordak the Incomprehensible: How to Grow Up and Rule the World is a perfect book to get for your kids, and thanks to my mother Mordog the Magnificent for getting it for me. (Ali Nassef-Zolnar the Fearsomely Immense, age 11)

    4 out of 5 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted September 23, 2011

    Hjhc

    Kakkejdhsnsjspkdjkkkkkkkkkkkk

    3 out of 10 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted January 15, 2011

    Very cool --- check it out!

    I really liked the interactive parts of VORDAK THE INCOMPREHENSIBLE, such as the quizzes and name generator. I thought the vocabulary was funny and the illustrations were cool. I'd like to see a side-kick for Vordak in the next book.

    Tommy C. (age 13)

    a.k.a. Malzar the Heartless
    (Find out your evil name on page 49 of the book)

    3 out of 5 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted July 3, 2012

    ...

    Muhahahahahaha!!! I can rule the world!!! I really dont think ill succeed

    1 out of 3 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted August 23, 2011

    Rule the world - Awesome!

    An extremely funny guidebook like novel on how to be truly evil and rule the world. The book is filled with fun interactive pages such as Vordak's diabolically clever name generator and many other activities. Vordak himself is filled with exaggerated self-esteem, punishes you for doing the right thing and congratulates you for doing the wrong or EVIL thing, except when it is done to him. He is superior, of course! Throughout the book you have the pleasure of being insulted by Vordak because of your "gooberness". This book would easily beat villainy for dummies. If you like this book - which I am sure you will, Vordak's second book, "Rule The School" is coming out soon - I had a sneak preview and well worth getting a handle on this first book. You will giggle all the way as it brings out the sinister in you! RigFin (age 11)

    1 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted August 13, 2013

    THE BEST BOOK

    Anyone who says otherwise is dead

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  • Anonymous

    Posted August 2, 2013

    Ass ass

    Assassaszassaaaaaaaasasasasa

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  • Anonymous

    Posted July 1, 2013

    This book F***ing sucks

    Go F*** yourself

    0 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted January 25, 2013

    This is extremly funny

    You should get this AND the other one

    0 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted April 20, 2013

    No text was provided for this review.

  • Anonymous

    Posted November 17, 2011

    No text was provided for this review.

  • Anonymous

    Posted October 1, 2010

    No text was provided for this review.

  • Anonymous

    Posted September 9, 2010

    No text was provided for this review.

  • Anonymous

    Posted March 23, 2011

    No text was provided for this review.

  • Anonymous

    Posted October 13, 2013

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  • Anonymous

    Posted October 1, 2010

    No text was provided for this review.

  • Anonymous

    Posted February 28, 2010

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  • Anonymous

    Posted November 30, 2013

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