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Based on the Three Principles of Instantaneous Transformation, as outlined in Working on Yourself Doesn't Work and the award-winning How to Create a Magical Relationship, this new book moves relationships into a new and satisfying level, where couples realize that judgment, resentment, or blame can be overcome by simply living in the moment. Ridding oneself of the need to "change yourself" or others can be, and often is, a transformational moment leading to positive, powerful changes in one's relationships.
In Match Made in Heaven, you will meet ordinary, everyday people, in all walks of life, who face the same concerns and fears that we all face, especially the fear that they will not have a happy, committed relationship with another person. But as they start to grasp the meaning of the Three Principles of Instantaneous Transformation they begin to understand that if they just experience life from moment to moment, the obstacles and fears that surround them often disappear, leaving them to view their world in a fresh, vibrant, and exciting new way.
This unique book includes links to companion streaming videos and audios of the Kanes working with clients. These mini-sessions allow you to feel like you are right there having a direct experience of those "aha" moments when a person's life transforms in an instant.
"Hallelujah, a relationship book that makes sense! At a time when so many people struggle with relationships, this book can serve as a significant roadmap to connection with self and a perfect partner."-- Alan Cohen, author of Don't Get Lucky, Get Smart
"Honesty and communication are crucial to the success of any relationship and Ariel and Shya Kane are empowering people in every part of the world to enjoy thriving, enduring relationships by learning to be honest with themselves and those they love and improve communication skills. The tools and mindset strategies you will gain from these pages are timeless and highly effective; to invest in this book is to invest in your happiness for a lifetime."-- Ivan Misner, PhD, New York Times best-selling author and founder of BNI
"The most important relationship you will ever have is the one with yourself. The Kanes recognize this, so they begin at the source and work outward. By cultivating an understanding of the effect we have on ourselves, then on those around us, and finally on the world as a whole, we become an instrument for greater change. Whatever your relationship status, How To Have A Match Made In Heaven is an indispensable tool that should be on everyone's shelf."-- Amit Goswami, PhD, theoretical physicist, acclaimed worldwide speaker, author of How Quantum Activism Can Save Civilization
"From childhood, we are brainwashed by fairy tales about 'falling in love and living happily ever after.' With the help of Ariel and Shya Kane's book, you will learn how to retain that enthusiasm for love while being able to deal with the real-world problems every relationship is bound to encounter. They help you to better understand yourself and your actions, thus leading to a more complete picture of all the important relationships in your life."-- Betsy Chasse, author, film maker, co-creator of the hit documentary What the BLEEP Do We Know!?
Preface i
1 Put Your Listening Ears On 1
2 Intimacy Begins with You 5
How to Access the Videos and Radio Shows 9
3 Be a Scientist 11
4 A Match Made in Heaven Starts with You 19
5 The Story of Your Life 29
6 Just Relax 45
7 Intimacy and the Perfect You 59
8 The Perfect "Them" 65
9 Working to Become a Better You 71
10 Childhood Decisions 77
11 If Mama Ain't Happy, Ain't Nobody Happy 85
12 Being the Author of Your Life 95
13 Childhood Decisions Bring Adult Complications 103
14 Behaviors and Beliefs 115
15 Approval and Disapproval: Flip Sides of the Same Coin 127
16 Detroit Sharon 131
17 Being "Right" vs. Being "Alive" 135
18 100% Responsibility 147
19 Valentine's Day 159
20 Un-Independence Day 171
21 The Blame Game 181
22 Notice What You're Up To 185
23 They Are Not the Problem 189
24 Unwiring the Terrible Twos 197
25 Learning Compassion and Letting Go of Childhood Behaviors 203
26 Distant But Connected 209
27 Shrink to Fit 213
28 Have You Forgotten Your True Priorities? 217
29 Back in the Saddle Again 223
30 Breaking Up is Hard to Do 231
31 Time on the Water: An Angler's Guide to Dating 237
32 Dating After Divorce 241
33 The Proper Care and Feeding of Tracy 245
34 Your Prudish Nature 253
35 Intimacy: Being at Home with Yourself 259
36 Birth Control and Intimacy 263
37 Alcohol, Sex and Aging 269
38 Ladies and Gentlemen, Start Your Engines 273
39 Sex, Sex, Sex, and Did We Mention… Sex? 275
40 Practice, Practice, Practice 285
Acknowledgements
About the Kanes
Colleen33
Posted July 27, 2012
This revolutionary book has produced a profound shift in my life. My relationship with my husband has blossomed – we are more in love now than ever before. With their sweet and compassionate wisdom, Ariel & Shya Kane have written a masterpiece and include streaming videos of them working with their clients. This book is a powerful read and is enforced with a visual experience. I got goose-bumps seeing people’s lives transform before my eyes. I transformed along with their clients! My husband is happy, I am happy – it’s amazing! It’s the best relationship book I’ve ever experienced. Revolutionary is the perfect word to describe this book. There is nothing else like it or compares to it.
41 out of 41 people found this review helpful.
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Posted July 27, 2012
I really loved How to Have A Match Made in Heaven by Ariel and Shya Kane. As I began reading the book, it quickly became apparent that this is not an ordinary relationship book. Instead, it contains real interactions with real people discussing all facets of relationship, from the primary relationship one has with one’s self, to dating, marriage, divorce, and everything in between. Not only can you read about these inspiring people and engaging conversations in How to Have A Match Made in Heaven, but the book contains a link to videos where you can see the interactions as well! This was really cool, as I was able to actually see what the authors were talking about. After watching the videos, the ideas in the book went from being a concept to something real and tangible.
In my opinion, this book is valuable for everyone; whether you are single, in a relationship, or married – this book can have a profound impact! It really made a huge difference in my life and relationship. After reading the book, I was excited for new possibilities in my life. It is clear that the authors actually have an amazing relationship, and have articulated the way they live their lives in this book. I can’t recommend it enough!
38 out of 38 people found this review helpful.
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Posted July 29, 2012
How to Have a Match Made in Heaven is a truly magical book, full of inspiration, beauty & many life-transforming moments. The authors, who've had their own match made in heaven for thirty years, share their secrets and insights so we can have one too. They use real-life examples with people (along with videos) to reveal and demonstrate their suggestions, so you can see & feel the transformation they are talking about. I've never read a book like it. It's more than just a book, it's an experience, and a jaw-droppingly, heart-expanding, utterly beautiful one.
34 out of 34 people found this review helpful.
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Posted February 3, 2013
Inspiring and Life-Changing Book!
This is a beautiful, inspiring and -no exaggeration- life-changing book. It is both deeply profound, but also light, fun and a pleasure to read. It offers the keys to discovering true partnership with another and well-being in yourself.
I never used to believe that A Match Made in Heaven was possible for me - I used to have all these reasons why Id never find The One and thought that people who did were just lucky. I am so glad I was wrong. This book, with its very cool use of videos and audios, shows how loving, healthy relationships are possible for everyone. And not only possible, but easy! No analyzing or agonizing required! I feel very blessed to have an amazing marriage now to a man I adore and enjoy, and thanks to the Kanes and this book - it just keeps getting better!
26 out of 26 people found this review helpful.
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Posted February 9, 2013
It's a wonderful book! I enjoyed reading it, and found myself connecting with the stories from real people's lives. I've noticed since reading it I feel more relaxed in myself. I'm more available to others. I chose to read the book in its entirety first and then relive it by watching the accompanying videos all at once. It was so much fun! It's also a good book to simply open to a random page and read what's on it. I've done that with the Kanes' other books and it's always a treat. I don't hold on to many books after I read them, but this one's definitely a keeper!
25 out of 25 people found this review helpful.
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Posted January 6, 2013
I love this book. I have known about Ariel & Shya Kane as teachers and practitioners of true awareness – the complete and total non-judgmental seeing of what is. Magically, this book not only demonstrates the practice of awareness by gently illuminating the behaviors and ah-ha moments of their individual clients in each chapter, it also transmits the practice of awareness to the reader when they simply follow along. Things just start to feel more clear and still and alive. And, while many will wholeheartedly relate to the individual stories contained in this book, the overarching impact of this book is the beautiful teaching of not being hard on oneself (and not on anyone else either). Allowing oneself to be, without judgment, seems so simple and yet many of us struggle. But as Ariel & Shya gently and lovingly explored the unseen behaviors of individual clients, and demonstrated the power of simply seeing these behaviors as a neutral observer, something inside me began to relax and I became aware of my own behaviors that conflict with leading a full life. This book provides the platform for having a life full of possibilities and a feeling of complete freedom, even within the strictures of a daily routine. Relax and read, and then feel the tides of your own life shift into ease.
25 out of 25 people found this review helpful.
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Posted August 2, 2012
My "self-help" library is now complete - I only need this one!
I've read my fair share of relationship, dating, and "self-help" advice books. The Kanes’ new book is truly one of the best and most innovative books of its kind.
With a relaxed but intuitive and caring attitude towards relationships and love, the authors show how our own thoughts, habits and behaviors get in the way of what we desire most - true, deep, fun intimate connections.
But they don't lay blame at the reader's feet! (whew!) I saw that my old ways of being - in dating, relating, or even how I talk to or care for myself - were keeping me from and making connection with others challenging.
How to Have A Match Made in Heaven has an innovative way of showing possibilities to the reader - with linked videos that give another experience of the stories - from the real people described in the book!
This was one of my favorite parts of the book: to be able to watch the "character" from the personal stories tell their own tale, and watch as they "transformed" on screen and how it affected their life - it was really magical.
I highly recommend this book for anyone looking for love, or who is already in a relationship and wants to improve their intimacy with their loved one - or themselves.
25 out of 25 people found this review helpful.
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Posted January 18, 2013
This is one book not to be missed!
"How to Have a Match Made in Heaven will not only touch your heart, it will transform it!! The Kanes' masterful approach has the magic and timelessness to make relationships blossom at any stage, but more importantly perhaps, the one with yourself. Experience the book thru its pages and real-life videos and feel a whole new doorway of possibilities open before your eyes. A relationship book not to be missed."
23 out of 23 people found this review helpful.
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Posted January 18, 2013
I picked up this book, honestly because I was interested in having a successful romantic relationship. But to my surprise, out of reading “How to Have a Match Made in Heaven” I noticed significant shifts in the way I related to my parents, my coworkers, my roommates, everyone I had an interaction with and also to myself. I became much kinder with myself, and much more understanding and patient with the people I came into contact with. This book is based upon conversations with real people, from all walks of life. And, the thing that sets this book apart from every other book out there is that it includes links to videos of these conversations so you can see in real time what they are talking about. You can see real people asking real questions and then Ariel and Shya brilliantly answer them in a way that shines a light on a new possibility of relating. This book is a must read for anyone who is eager to connect with people, create easier friendships and have more intimacy in their life.
23 out of 23 people found this review helpful.
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Posted August 9, 2012
Ariel and Shya Kane's newest book is truly a gift. The wealth of practical, empowering information in "How to Have a Match Made in Heaven" is enormous. The examples they use are clear and effective, and I often finished a chapter saying "Wow!" to myself. The video aspect of this book is amazing, and the video clips capture the essence of Transformation in such a fantastic way. The possibility of having a Match Made in Heaven is within our grasp, and the Kanes have given us an amazing set of tools to achieve just that. The book is a fun read, full of humor, sweetness and humanity, and the videos are a powerful illustration of how instantaneous Transformation can be!
22 out of 22 people found this review helpful.
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Posted January 7, 2013
I also love this book! Every chapter is an encounter with people who are willing to honestly look at their lives and with the courage to share what they discover with the world. Ariel and Shya Kane are very clear, direct and have a lot of humor in their conversations with these people and in explaining their transformational approach to life, which makes the book exciting and fun to read. It is without any over intellectual or mystical texts that you might expect from enlightened teachers. And yet what they teach goes in deep and it gets deeper with every time you re-read the book, attend a seminar or listen to their online radio show "Being Here". It's like peeling off the layers of an onion - in a fun way. Ariel and Shya Kane write: "Fun is the access way to enlightenment" and that is where burnt chicken soup comes in. In one of the many fun stories of the book in the chapter called "If Mama Ain't Happy, Ain't Nobody Happy" they tell the story of how a woman tries very hard to cook the chicken soup just like her husband's mother did, but it never turns out right... (I won't spoil the story for you now) ... and in the middle of laughing you realize you have just learned something very profound. It's simple and easy.
So I suggest reading this book because it's pure entertainment with the wonderful side effect of improved relationships, more well-being in your life and who knows what else will happen for you.
I can only say, get your copy today!
20 out of 20 people found this review helpful.
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Posted December 9, 2012
REAL PEOPLE - REAL CHANGES
What a remarkable book! The authors use real people (a lot of whom you can even see and experience through related video links) to illustrate where the challenges of dating, relating and marriage lie. They offer their unique perspective and down to earth suggestions for how to create the magic, ease and deep satisfaction most of us have all been longing for. I particularly enjoyed watching the videos and seeing the impact the Kanes are making on the people they interact with - people literally change before your eyes as they see where they got "stuck" and they discover new ways of being which had not occurred to them as a possibility.
Reading the book and watching the videos, I recognized a part of myself in each of the people who are in the book / videos, and I am noticing that I am relating in new ways - much easier and smoother... and much more fun!
This book is for everyone who dreams about having long-lasting, intimate and deeply satisfying relationships - because this book gives you the keys to make these dreams come true.
20 out of 21 people found this review helpful.
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Posted August 18, 2012
The new book by Ariel an Shya Kane, How to Have a Match Made in Heaven, is very unique for different reasons. First, almost every chapter in the book is accompanied by a video or audio which gives you the actual experience of what the authors are writing about, and lets you meet the person they are interacting with. What a fantastic concept. This book is also different in so far as it is something you have to take your time over and really listen to. It is a treat to see the way the Kanes work with people and to witness how transformation happens. By taking the time to watch the videos and listen to what is being said (and written), I have been deeply affected by this book. The book is not a list of quick fixes or steps to forever happy. The book is an education on being present, listening, noticing what moves you, letting go of your judgments and preconceived ideas and expanding your self-imposed limitations... Listening to the book brings you home, to the present moment, where heaven starts. In a way, the book is a metaphor for what works in a relationship. Make a date with it, give it your full attention, listen to what it is telling you and it will feed you and enlighten you I recommend How to Have a Match Made in Heaven to everyone looking for a transformational shift in the way they live their lives, and interested in discovering the nuances of true intimacy.
20 out of 20 people found this review helpful.
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Posted May 13, 2013
This book is a practical guide to having a heavenly relationship with yourself and others. With the use of videos that correspond with the chapters in the book it illustrates this message very well. You can really see the subtleties of the experiences of people asking questions to Ariel & Shya Kane who provide practical yet profound responses.
The power of awareness can transform relationships. Anyone can have a match made in heaven. This book is for people who are single, dating, married, divorced or widowed. It is for everyone.
16 out of 16 people found this review helpful.
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Posted October 9, 2012
I Also Recommend:
Ariel & Shya Kane's new book is truly a gift for everyone. No matter if you are married, have a boy- or girlfriend, are dating or want to date, reading this book will shift your relationship to yourself and any person you meet in a profound way. It is not a guidebook or handbook giving you rules or trying to make you "better" in any way - it is a book full of real life interactions that Ariel & Shya Kane had throughout the years with people from all over the planet who asked them questions and seeked for answers how they could have a life full of joy, how they could have beautiful relationships with their spouses, families, friends and their collegues at work.
If you've never read a book of their's: Read them all! If you've already read their other books: Read this one!! And if you are in the mood for more: Watch the videos that you can also access by buying this book and see Ariel & Shya Kane interact with people on video or listen to their audio files.
14 out of 14 people found this review helpful.
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Posted September 11, 2012
Ariel and Shya Kane's book How to Have a Match Made in Heaven is genius! I love the diverse collection of real-life interactions with participants that everyone can recognize in relationships. Whether you're single or married or somewhere in between, there is something here for everyone. After reading this book, I realize that there is no place that is better to get to (whether in a relationship or not). This is seemingly a paradox because we are culturally steeped in the belief that we always have to get to the next level or advance to the next stage. This book has allowed me to relax and be okay in my own skin, which in this day and age is not a very commonplace occurrence. It is OK to give myself a break! If I can even go to another level here, the authors have actually taken Enlightenment (which is widely considered only to be in the domain of ascetics or those who have renounced worldly aspirations) and made it accessible to all the rest of us: you and me, living in the real world dealing with all the complexities of the modern world. That is the beauty of their work and this book.
13 out of 13 people found this review helpful.
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Posted September 7, 2012
Revolutionary! Not only did I get to read and experience in words the instaneous transformations taking place in each chapter, but, BONUS!, I get to watch a video (which has easy access to get to, might I add) that visually plays out these beautiful, sensitive, and moving transformations. And ...I transformed right along with them!
My relationship with my husband is fun and passionate, my relationships at work are fun and passionate, my relationship with my daughter is fun and passionate ....YES! Read this book! Watch these videos! Relationships in your life can be fun and passionate, too!
13 out of 13 people found this review helpful.
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Posted August 27, 2012
Passion for Each Moment In "How to Have a Match Made in
Heaven" Ariel and Shya Kane share the transformational way to
support and evolve your relating skills without working on yourself.
Experience the Kanes' passion for each moment, which allows their
clients to take the honest, non-judgmental look at their lives that is
conducive to transformation. In both the written text and in the
companion videos and audios that form the revolutionary extra bonus of
this book, witness how peoples' lives transform during their
interactions with Ariel and Shya Kane and have yours transform simultaneously.
13 out of 13 people found this review helpful.
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Posted November 19, 2012
I loved this book. Especially the videos that are included. The stories, through the videos, put a face to a name, provide an interaction that is brilliant and you can watch and listen to Ariel and Shya in action. Transformation in a relationship begins with you and that's what the book is about. You transform and that transforms your relationship. Ariel and Syha are masters and intuitives when it comes to making you aware of what is going on, pointing out childhood behaviors and beliefs that all of a sudden make you smile at the truth. Thank you Ariel and Shya for sharing all the beautiful stories.
12 out of 12 people found this review helpful.
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Posted September 8, 2012
This is the Real Deal
How to Have A Match Made in Heaven presents profound yet practical ideas about relating in a clear and honest approach. The pages seem to come alive with individual true life stories that constantly expose my preconceived notions about what I use to think made a relationship work, whether I was aware of these engrained ideas or not. The concepts in the book appear like a breath of fresh air; they are simple and understandable, yet deep and lasting. One idea that stood out for me was how I am 100% responsible for all my relationships (whether with myself, while dating, or in a marriage) and in essence, 100% responsible for my life. In the past, I played more of a give-and-take role in my relationships, playing victim whenever it fit, but the idea of being 100% responsible as the Kanes describe is freeing and empowering. This is one of the many lifelong truths in the book that came as an A-ha! moment.
Ariel and Shya Kanes relationship with each other is also a living example of a true match made in heaven. How to Have A Match Made in Heaven is based on what they experience consistently every day and they are an inspiration to what is possible for everyone, no matter what a persons current life circumstances are. How to live openly and honestly with oneself and in a relationship is truly magical and as this book reveals, it is attainable. The pages flowed effortlessly from one to the next and I am looking forward to revisiting them again and again. After reading this book, a match made In heaven does not seem so far away.
12 out of 12 people found this review helpful.
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Overview
Well known authors and speakers Ariel and Shya Kane continue to discover and define relationships in their new book How to Have A Match Made in Heaven: A Transformational Approach to Dating, Relating, and Marriage. Relationship coaches for more than twenty years they have succeeded in guiding many individuals and couples toward effective communication and personal transformation. How to Have A Match Made in Heaven not only shares many of these sessions in print but also points the reader to the authors' website,...