How to Help a Grieving Friend: A Candid Guide for Those Who Care by Stephanie Whitson, Hardcover | Barnes & Noble
How to Help a Grieving Friend: A Candid Guide for Those Who Care

How to Help a Grieving Friend: A Candid Guide for Those Who Care

by Stephanie Whitson
     
 

This quick read will help you know how to act and what to say around a grieving friend. Learn to speak healing words instead of tired clichés, comfort and empathize with others, and break down barriers.

Overview


This quick read will help you know how to act and what to say around a grieving friend. Learn to speak healing words instead of tired clichés, comfort and empathize with others, and break down barriers.

Product Details

ISBN-13:
9781576836774
Publisher:
Tyndale House Publishers
Publication date:
02/17/2005
Series:
Experiencing God Series
Pages:
112
Product dimensions:
5.30(w) x 7.22(h) x 0.51(d)

Read an Excerpt

HOW TO HELP A GRIEVING FRIEND

A Candid Guide for Those Who Care
By STEPHANIE GRACE WHITSON

NAVPRESS

Copyright © 2005 Stephanie Grace Whitson
All right reserved.

ISBN: 1-57683-677-0


Chapter One

phase one "I can't"

I am weary with my groaning; all the night make I my bed to swim; I water my couch with my tears. Psalm 6:6

HOW IT FEELS

I thought I'd want to be alone. I thought it would be overwhelming to share the day of death with anyone. I usually gain energy from being alone. So I thought once the hospice nurse and sheriff left and I'd talked with the funeral home ... well, I thought I'd just want to wrap myself in a blanket and be alone.

But friends began to arrive. The kind of people who take charge, go get carryout, and fill the house with the laughter of good memories ... among genuine tears.

I didn't think I'd want people around.

I was wrong.

HOW TO HELP

Bring Kleenex

Paper plates, paper towels, napkins, toilet paper ... disposables make a great gift right now. You've saved me a trip to the store ... and made life at home easier.

* * *

Use Present Tense

If you slip up and mention my loved one in the present tense, that's okay. In my heart he or she is still very much alive.

* * *

Pretend with Me

If I start to tell a story or talk about him or her, don't get that "deer in the headlights" look. Pretend he or she is still here. As long as we remember, my loved one is.

HOW IT FEELS

If one more person quotes Romans 8:28 to me - or some other comfort cliché - I am going to SCREAM. I know Romans 8:28 by heart. I can read it in Greek. And French. It doesn't help. All I want is someone to listen to my pain. And maybe give me a hug. I haven't had a hug in a long, long time.

HOW TO HELP

Don't Apologize for Not Knowing What to Say Chances are, there isn't anything you can say that will really help. Your hand on my shoulder, your hug, and your presence mean a lot.

* * *

Don't Speculate About the Unknowable If your faith teaches that the dead don't see us and don't care about life on earth "in light of eternity," keep it to yourself. Saying that is the same thing as saying he or she doesn't love me anymore.

* * *

Leave the Self-Help Books at Home Unless you can say, "This helped me when my ____________ died," just don't say it.

(Continues...)



Excerpted from HOW TO HELP A GRIEVING FRIEND by STEPHANIE GRACE WHITSON Copyright © 2005 by Stephanie Grace Whitson. Excerpted by permission.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.

Meet the Author


Stephanie Grace Whitson is the best-selling author of eleven works of historical fiction. and has been nominated for numerous awards of excellence. After her husband died in 2001, Stephanie dedicated herself to full-time writing and speaking. A native of southern Illinois, she has resided in Nebraska since 1975.

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