How to Keep Your Teenager Out of Trouble and What to Do if You Can't

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Overview

The teenage years are tough-for kids, and for parents. Many teenagers are grappling with a slew of overwhelming emotions, and the results can range from not wanting to be seen with a parent in public to reckless and destructive behavior that can destroy a family. Parents despair as a child becomes a sullen, defiant stranger.

A clinical psychologist who's spent more than two decades bringing families back from the brink, Dr. Neil I. Bernstein knows how to help parents and teens successfully navigate these difficult and trying years. Thoughtful, clear-eyed, comprehensive, and refreshingly free of jargon, HOW TO KEEP YOUR TEENAGER OUT OF TROUBLE AND WHAT TO DO IF YOU CAN'T helps parents identify whether their teens are exhibiting typical behavior-such as locking themselves in their room for

hours-or are exhibiting real danger signs, such as being secretive, despondent, or constantly angry. And then he tells what to do about it. The focus, above all else, is effective communication: how to avoid threats and put-downs, offer clear explanations, stick with the issues at hand, negotiate, improve listening skills, ask relevant questions, and stop interrogating or lecturing. Throughout, Bernstein uses examples from his practice to tell specifically what to do and say. There is sample dialogue to keep discussions from becoming arguments; signals that parental efforts are actually working; and Skill Builders that give parents the tools they need to ensure their teenagers leave home as responsible, moral adults.

Editorial Reviews

VOYA

Bernstein, an experienced psychologist, provides extensive strategies for parents seeking ways to steer teens onto a safe path. Bernstein's approach is gradual, dealing with how kids get into trouble, how to avoid it, how to get out of it, and what to do when things get really serious. The basic assumption is that teens need to be guided to learn decision making and be provided with good examples. Various scripts and sidebars give samples and guidelines to use in specific situations and show how the adult can evaluate the seriousness of certain behaviors. Important concepts are communication, limits, self-esteem, peer pressure, judgment, and values. More specific societal pressures are dealt with in their own chapters. The author speaks directly to the reader, posing questions and often repeating basic precepts in a way that they become fundamental to teaching young people how to avoid trouble. Much is common sense but the kind that parents often are unable to apply in situations with their own children. Bernstein's experience provides a reassuring tone, imparting that situations can be dealt with as long as parents maintain their responsibility for parenting. He makes it clear how much parents affect the development of children moving into adulthood, explains the many pitfalls along the way, and tells when it is time to get professional help. The appendix of resources is extensive. Parents, professionals, and teachers could benefit from this approach to looking at teens for what they are and what they can become. Index. Appendix. 2001, Workman, 518p,
— Patricia Morrow

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9780761115700
Publisher: Workman Publishing Company, Inc.
Publication date: 9/28/2001
Pages: 512
Sales rank: 371,003
Product dimensions: 7.50 (w) x 1.44 (h) x 1.38 (d)

Meet the Author

Dr. Neil Bernstein is a practicing clinical psychologist, writer, and lecturer. He lectures frequently around the country to groups of parents, schools counselors, and mental health professionals and has been a consultant to schools, clinics, and psychiatric hospitals. His previous book, Treating the Unmanageable Adolescent, was a best-seller for the Psychotherapy Book Club. Dr. Bernstein lives in the Washington, D.C., area.

	Introduction	VII
Chapter 1	How Teenagers Get into Trouble	1
Chapter 2	Who's in Charge Here? Setting Limits for Your Teen	35
Chapter 3	Building Better Relationships Through Better Communication	83
Chapter 4	Helping Your Teen Develop Good Self-Esteem	137
Chapter 5	Strategic Parenting: Promoting Independence, Good Judgment, and Impulse Control	172
Chapter 6	Don't Let Them Leave Home Without Empathy and Morality	219
Chapter 7	Resisting Negative Peer Pressure	263
Chapter 8	Sex, Drugs, and Rebellious Trends	297
Chapter 9	Helping Resolve Your Teen's Problems with School	369
Chapter 10	Dealing with Defiance and Antisocial Behavior	419
Chapter 11	Desperate Times, Drastic Measures	468
	A Final Word	501
Appendix	Resources for Parents of Teens in Trouble	502
	Index	507

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How to Keep Your Teenager Out of Trouble and What to Do if You Can't

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