How to Keep Your Teenager Out of Trouble and What to Do if You Can't

Overview

The teenage years are tough-for kids, and for parents. Many teenagers are grappling with a slew of overwhelming emotions, and the results can range from not wanting to be seen with a parent in public to reckless and destructive behavior that can destroy a family. Parents despair as a child becomes a sullen, defiant stranger.

A clinical psychologist who's spent more than two decades bringing families back from the brink, Dr. Neil I. Bernstein knows how to help parents and teens ...

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Overview

The teenage years are tough-for kids, and for parents. Many teenagers are grappling with a slew of overwhelming emotions, and the results can range from not wanting to be seen with a parent in public to reckless and destructive behavior that can destroy a family. Parents despair as a child becomes a sullen, defiant stranger.

A clinical psychologist who's spent more than two decades bringing families back from the brink, Dr. Neil I. Bernstein knows how to help parents and teens successfully navigate these difficult and trying years. Thoughtful, clear-eyed, comprehensive, and refreshingly free of jargon, HOW TO KEEP YOUR TEENAGER OUT OF TROUBLE AND WHAT TO DO IF YOU CAN'T helps parents identify whether their teens are exhibiting typical behavior-such as locking themselves in their room for

hours-or are exhibiting real danger signs, such as being secretive, despondent, or constantly angry. And then he tells what to do about it. The focus, above all else, is effective communication: how to avoid threats and put-downs, offer clear explanations, stick with the issues at hand, negotiate, improve listening skills, ask relevant questions, and stop interrogating or lecturing. Throughout, Bernstein uses examples from his practice to tell specifically what to do and say. There is sample dialogue to keep discussions from becoming arguments; signals that parental efforts are actually working; and Skill Builders that give parents the tools they need to ensure their teenagers leave home as responsible, moral adults.

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Editorial Reviews

VOYA
Bernstein, an experienced psychologist, provides extensive strategies for parents seeking ways to steer teens onto a safe path. Bernstein's approach is gradual, dealing with how kids get into trouble, how to avoid it, how to get out of it, and what to do when things get really serious. The basic assumption is that teens need to be guided to learn decision making and be provided with good examples. Various scripts and sidebars give samples and guidelines to use in specific situations and show how the adult can evaluate the seriousness of certain behaviors. Important concepts are communication, limits, self-esteem, peer pressure, judgment, and values. More specific societal pressures are dealt with in their own chapters. The author speaks directly to the reader, posing questions and often repeating basic precepts in a way that they become fundamental to teaching young people how to avoid trouble. Much is common sense but the kind that parents often are unable to apply in situations with their own children. Bernstein's experience provides a reassuring tone, imparting that situations can be dealt with as long as parents maintain their responsibility for parenting. He makes it clear how much parents affect the development of children moving into adulthood, explains the many pitfalls along the way, and tells when it is time to get professional help. The appendix of resources is extensive. Parents, professionals, and teachers could benefit from this approach to looking at teens for what they are and what they can become. Index. Appendix. 2001, Workman, 518p,
— Patricia Morrow
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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9780761115700
  • Publisher: Workman Publishing Company, Inc.
  • Publication date: 9/28/2001
  • Pages: 512
  • Sales rank: 1,396,907
  • Product dimensions: 7.50 (w) x 1.44 (h) x 1.38 (d)

Meet the Author

Dr. Neil Bernstein is a practicing clinical psychologist, writer, and lecturer. He lectures frequently around the country to groups of parents, schools counselors, and mental health professionals and has been a consultant to schools, clinics, and psychiatric hospitals. His previous book, Treating the Unmanageable Adolescent, was a best-seller for the Psychotherapy Book Club. Dr. Bernstein lives in the Washington, D.C., area.

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Table of Contents

CHAPTER ONE How Teenagers Get into Trouble

CHAPTER TWO Who's in Charge Here? Setting Limits for Your Teen

CHAPTER THREE Building Better Relationships Through Better Communication

CHAPTER FOUR Helping Your Teen Develop Good Self-Esteem

CHAPTER FIVE Strategic Parenting: Promoting Independence, Good Judgment, and Impulse Control

CHAPTER SIX Don't Let Them Leave Home Without Empathy and Morality

CHAPTER SEVEN Resisting Negative Peer Pressure

CHAPTER EIGHT Sex, Drugs, and Rebellious Trends

CHAPTER NINE Helping Resolve Your Teen's Problems with School

CHAPTER TEN Dealing with Defiance and Antisocial Behavior

CHAPTER ELEVEN Desperate Times Drastic Measures

A FINAL WORD

APPENDIX Resources for Parents of Teens in Trouble

INDEX

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