How to Pee Standing Up: Tips for Hip Chicks

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Overview

Stuck with a boss from hell? Trying to escape a bad date? Looking for a way to fix a friendship, or make it through your next family reunion? Believe it or not, the solutions to each of these dilemmas (and many more!) can all be found in this book.
You'll also pick up tips on scoring a table for two at the swankiest spots in town, redecorating your place on a shoestring budget, and getting your hands on a super cheap plane fare. You'll even learn how to get out of credit card ...

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How to Pee Standing Up: Tips for Hip Chicks

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Overview

Stuck with a boss from hell? Trying to escape a bad date? Looking for a way to fix a friendship, or make it through your next family reunion? Believe it or not, the solutions to each of these dilemmas (and many more!) can all be found in this book.
You'll also pick up tips on scoring a table for two at the swankiest spots in town, redecorating your place on a shoestring budget, and getting your hands on a super cheap plane fare. You'll even learn how to get out of credit card debt once and for all, how to shake a devastating break-up — and, of course, how to pee standing up.
Packed with loads of advice that every hip chick needs to sail through those sticky situations, How to Pee Standing Up is your must-have guide to life. In fact, we don't know how you've made it this far without it!

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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9781416538172
  • Publisher: Sterling
  • Publication date: 3/2/2007
  • Pages: 160
  • Product dimensions: 5.90 (w) x 7.10 (h) x 0.60 (d)

Read an Excerpt

Chapter One: Beat the Bank

So there you are, swinging through life buying a teensy bauble here, an itty-bitty new purse there, and occasionally taking that hottie down the hall to a nice little din-din to cheer him up after a lousy audition. "Everyone deserves a little pampering now and then," you tell yourself. Your friends tell you the same thing, sympathetically — especially when you're picking up the check. And that's when you get the call. You know the one — it's usually from a Mr. Green or a Ms. White, and it almost always begins with something misleadingly polite like, "We'd like to speak to you right away about your credit card balance." "Why are they bothering me?" you ask. "It was just a pair of shoes!" you think. And finally: "What's with the color-coded pseudonyms?"

We hate to inform you, but you've fallen into the dreaded Deadly Debt Trap. All credit cards should come with a label: Warning! Warning! Credit cards are not free money! But they don't, and before you know it, you're maxed out and have zero money left over after paying your bills. How's a person supposed to lead a fabulous life with a budget of nada?

Stupid Reasons for Going into Credit Card Debt

1. Gucci brings out my green eyes.

2. With a big-screen TV like that, who needs a boyfriend?

3. My honey may be a deadbeat, but he's my little deadbeat!

4. Bloomingdale's is on my way to work. Like that's my fault.

5. By buying those Ralph Lauren sheets on sale, I'm actually saving money!

Having credit card debt is like wearing a heavy ankle bracelet (we're talking house arrest, not a fashion accessory) 24/7. It keeps you from building any kind of savings, including your See Ya Sucker Stash (see Hit the Road), and can make it harder for you to rent apartments, get loans, or buy a house.

Proper Credit Card Conduct

1. Transfer your balances to cards that earn you freebies, like airline mileage.

2. Transfer your balances to a card that has an extremely low APR* (like no interest for a year), then try to pay it off before that introductory APR is raised.

3. Always pay more than the minimum, but not so much that you don't have enough to pay other bills.

4. Finally, screen your calls — no need to let "Mr. White" ruin your night. Just be sure to pay the bill the next day.

Tips for Getting out of Debt

1. Don't live in denial. Figure out everything and everybody you owe.

2. Lower your expenses. Tap into your inner Disciplinarian, who can slap down your inner Princess from time to time. When you start to whip out the plastic, ask yourself: "Oh, fabulous one, is this a need or an indulgence?" Learn to tell the difference between the two; indulge when you have the cash in hand, but try to do it cheaply. (See Blue-Chip Babes.)

3. Increase your income. Get two jobs (it can be done) or a higher-paying gig until your debt is paid off.

4. Get help. Call the Consumer Credit Counseling Services at (800) 577-2227.

Copyright © 2003 by 17th Street Productions, an Alloy Company

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Table of Contents

TABLE OF CONTENTS

1. BEAT THE BANK

How to get out of debt without having to get out of town

2. BLUE-CHIP BABE

Tips for living large on a salary that isn't

3. BOSS FROM HELL

Tips on handling the most heinous of honchos

4. BREAKUP

How to dump with your dignity intact-and most of your good CDs

5. DIAL-UP

Chatting long-distance for the low, low price of free

6. DITCH THE DATE

How to break a bad date without breaking any hearts

7. EVIL LANDLORD

How to get what you need when your shower is cold, your apartment is hot, and the roaches are plotting a takeover

8. FIRST CLASS

Scamming your way to the free champagne, or at least saving enough cash to afford drinks in coach

9. FRIENDSHIP FIXES

Can't live with 'em, can't whack 'em upside the head: how to ease out of a friendship that's past its prime and fix one that you've dirty-dogged

10. FRONT ROW

How to score the Sweet Seats without selling an organ

11. GREASE THE PALM

Learn the subtle art of persuasive payola

12. GROOVEABLE FEAST
How to get down without getting arrested

13. HIGHWAY TO HELL

How to stay on the right side of Officer Big Stick

14. HIT THE ROAD

Rev up for a road trip, an exotic getaway, or a break for the border

15. HOME FOR THE HOLIDAYS

How to navigate the rocky terrain of family events without getting disowned

16. HOME REMEDY

Easy outs for embarrassing ailments

17. J.O.B. BLUES

How to land a kick-ass job and survive the ones that suck

18. KICK ASS

Self-Defense 101

19. LADY LUCK

If you're going to win more than free drinks, you have to know how to play the game

20. LET'S MAKE A DEAL

Nine savvy tips for your next negotiation

21 MOBILIZATION

Car Repairs

22. MORNING AFTER

Taming the hangover heaves after a night of too much fabulousness

23. PEE STANDING UP

How to answer nature's call anywhere, anytime

24. PINK SLIP

How to get-or givefithe ax with maximum style. Extra points for poise; extra-extra points for unemployment checks

25. SCAM CITY

Front rows, free food, and the hottest fashion: our favorite hustles that will make them yours for the taking

26. schmoozing, socializing, and surviving the spotlight

How to make friends, influence people, and address a crowd without losing your lunch

27. STYLE PILE MAKEOVER

Redecorate your swankienda on a dime

28. SWEET REVENGE

How to revel in the joys of payback while staying on this side of psycho

29. TABLE FOR TWO

Get past the bitchiest maître d' without promising your firstborn

30. UNDERCOVER

The right getup for every setting, from Meet the Parents to Lunch with Your Ex

31. VELVET ROPE

How to get past the Door Guy when you're not a supermodel, a celeb, or a sultan'sgirlfriend

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