How to Say Anything to Anyone: A Guide to Building Business Relationships That Really Work

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Overview


We all know how it feels when our colleagues talk about us but not to us. It’s frustrating, and it creates tension. When candor is missing in the workplace, employees feel like they’re working in the dark. Leaders don’t know what employees really think; managers are frustrated when outcomes are not what they expect; and employees often don’t know where they stand performance-wise. 

Many of us remain passive against broken, indirect communication habits, hoping that things ...

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Overview


We all know how it feels when our colleagues talk about us but not to us. It’s frustrating, and it creates tension. When candor is missing in the workplace, employees feel like they’re working in the dark. Leaders don’t know what employees really think; managers are frustrated when outcomes are not what they expect; and employees often don’t know where they stand performance-wise. 

Many of us remain passive against broken, indirect communication habits, hoping that things will miraculously improve?but they won’t. Not without skills and effort.

The people you work with can work with you, around you, or against you. How people work with you depends on the relationships you cultivate. Do your colleagues trust you? Can they speak openly to you when projects and tasks go awry? 

Take charge of your career by taking charge of your business relationships. Make your work environment less tense and more productive by practicing direct communication. Set relationship expectations, work with people how they like to work, and give and receive regular feedback.

In How to Say Anything to Anyone, you’ll learn how to:
• ask for what you want at work
• improve all types of working relationships 
• reduce the gossip and drama in your office 
• tell people when you’re frustrated in a way that resonates 
• take action on your ideas and feelings
• get honest feedback on your performance
Harley shares the real-life stories of people who have struggled to get what they want at work. With her clear and specific roadmap in hand, Harley enables you to create the career and business relationships you really want?and keep them.  

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Editorial Reviews

James A. Cox
How to Say Anything to Anyone: A Guide to Building Business Relationships that Really Work lives up to its title as a user-friendly, step-by-step guide to communicating well, building trust, obtaining honest feedback on one's performance in the workplace, and much more. Especially valuable for its phrasing recommendations that emphasize politeness, confidence, and respect, How to Say Anything to Anyone is also extraordinarily useful as a self-help book to improve one's relationships outside of the business sphere. "…my recommended answer to feedback is 'Thank you,' even if you think the person has no idea what he is talking about and is dead wrong. How accurate he is doesn't matter. What matters is that you find out how you and your department are being perceived. Once you receive and digest that information, you can figure out how to respond. But during the initial conversation, 'Thank you' is the right answer." From how to respond if one is suddenly promoted and put in charge of one's former peers, to dealing with chronically absent bosses, or even what to say to a co-worker who cc's every emailed request she makes to the whole team, How to Say Anything to Anyone is packed with indispensable tips, tricks, techniques, and suggestions from cover to cover. Highly recommended.
—Midwest Book Review (Editor-in-Chief)
Midwest Book Review

How to Say Anything to Anyone: A Guide to Building Business Relationships that Really Work lives up to its title as a user-friendly, step-by-step guide to communicating well, building trust, obtaining honest feedback on one's performance in the workplace, and much more. Especially valuable for its phrasing recommendations that emphasize politeness, confidence, and respect, How to Say Anything to Anyone is also extraordinarily useful as a self-help book to improve one's relationships outside of the business sphere. "…my recommended answer to feedback is 'Thank you,' even if you think the person has no idea what he is talking about and is dead wrong. How accurate he is doesn't matter. What matters is that you find out how you and your department are being perceived. Once you receive and digest that information, you can figure out how to respond. But during the initial conversation, 'Thank you' is the right answer." From how to respond if one is suddenly promoted and put in charge of one's former peers, to dealing with chronically absent bosses, or even what to say to a co-worker who cc's every emailed request she makes to the whole team, How to Say Anything to Anyone is packed with indispensable tips, tricks, techniques, and suggestions from cover to cover. Highly recommended.

— James A. Cox, Editor-in-Chief

Midwest Book Review - James A. Cox

How to Say Anything to Anyone: A Guide to Building Business Relationships that Really Work lives up to its title as a user-friendly, step-by-step guide to communicating well, building trust, obtaining honest feedback on one's performance in the workplace, and much more. Especially valuable for its phrasing recommendations that emphasize politeness, confidence, and respect, How to Say Anything to Anyone is also extraordinarily useful as a self-help book to improve one's relationships outside of the business sphere. "…my recommended answer to feedback is 'Thank you,' even if you think the person has no idea what he is talking about and is dead wrong. How accurate he is doesn't matter. What matters is that you find out how you and your department are being perceived. Once you receive and digest that information, you can figure out how to respond. But during the initial conversation, 'Thank you' is the right answer." From how to respond if one is suddenly promoted and put in charge of one's former peers, to dealing with chronically absent bosses, or even what to say to a co-worker who cc's every emailed request she makes to the whole team, How to Say Anything to Anyone is packed with indispensable tips, tricks, techniques, and suggestions from cover to cover. Highly recommended.
Chester Elton

“This book will make you a better leader! How to Say Anything to Anyone will give you the keys and the confidence to be honest and open with the people you lead.”-Chester Elton, author of The Carrot Principle and The Orange Revolution  
Mark Sanborn

How to Say Anything to Anyone makes the case for candor and provides practical ideas that will improve your relationship skills and communication effectiveness.”   -Mark Sanborn, author of The Fred Factor  
Debra Fine

“Few other resources offer such detailed and explicit steps to improving workplace relationships. Highly recommended for stakeholders to C-level.”  -Debra Fine, author of The Fine Art of Small Talk 
Marshall Goldsmith

"As enjoyable as it is instructive, How to Say Anything to Anyone gives business leaders the right advice to take their company and their employees to the next level."
-Marshall Goldsmith, Million-selling author or editor of 32 books, including the New York Times bestsellers, MOJO and What Got You Here Won't Get You There
 
Stephen Shapiro

"Let me be candid...anyone who wants better relationships - professional or personal - must read this book! It will have a profound impact on how you interact with employees, bosses, customers, and spouses."  -Stephen Shapiro, author of Best Practices Are Stupid and Personality Poker
Keith Ferrazzi

"How to Say Anything to Anyone is a rousing call to action for creating a candid company culture. Highly recommended." -- Keith Ferrazzi, bestselling author of Never Eat Alone
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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9781608324095
  • Publisher: Greenleaf Book Group, LLC
  • Publication date: 1/8/2013
  • Pages: 176
  • Sales rank: 184,976
  • Product dimensions: 5.50 (w) x 8.60 (h) x 0.80 (d)

Meet the Author


Shari Harley started her career selling and facilitating programs for Dale Carnegie Training. She has also provided training for American Century Investments, led leadership development and succession planning for OppenheimerFunds, and taught leadership courses at the University of Denver. She holds a MA in communication from the University of Denver and a BA in psychology from Washington University in St. Louis, MO.

In 2007 Harley left her corporate career to launch Candid Culture, a training and consulting firm that seeks to bring candor back to the workplace, creating a safe haven for employees and managers to speak honestly. Shari is known globally as an engaging, funny, content-rich business speaker, trainer, and consultant. Her practical approach to making business relationships work has enabled her to speak and train throughout the United States and in Singapore, Thailand, Malaysia, India, Dubai, and Australia. 
Shari has a passion for international travel and there are few places she won’t go. When not traveling, speaking, or training, Shari spends as much time as possible outside. She lives in Denver, Colorado.  

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Read an Excerpt

HOW TO SAY ANYTHING TO ANYONE

A GUIDE TO BUILDING BUSINESS RELATIONSHIPS THAT REALLY WORK
By SHARI HARLEY

Greenleaf Book Group Press

Copyright © 2013 Shari Harley
All right reserved.

ISBN: 978-1-60832-409-5


Chapter One

HOW TO ESTABLISH CANDID RELATIONSHIPS

Did you buy this book hoping for the secret formula that would reveal how to safely tell your boss he's a jerk? Or to learn how to tell "the lingerer" (you know, that person who stops by your desk to drop something off and thirty minutes later is still blabbing about her personal life) to go away? Well, you're in luck. Later in this book, I'll give you that formula. But the formula is not what you're missing.

There is an abundance of books on how to give feedback—Difficult Conversations; Fierce Conversations; Crucial Conversations; and Dealing with Difficult People are just a few of the titles that are out there. Many of you have read them, and most organizations offer training on how to get through difficult conversations and manage conflict. Yet most people say nothing when others frustrate them.

You can read all the books and attend all the training programs you want, and it will make little difference. It's not just technique that you're lacking.

And it's not necessarily that you don't know what to say. It's that you feel you can't say what you want to say. You haven't been given permission. Without receiving prior permission, you feel at risk to speak up—so you don't.

What you're lacking is an agreement. You would never buy a car or rent an apartment without a contract. But you have relationships without contracts all the time. Where is the agreement that defines how you will work with your coworkers or customers, and how they will work with you? What? You've never heard of such an idea? Well, that's exactly why you're reading this book.

We assume people will do things the same way we do, such as be on time for appointments, pay their fair share in a restaurant, and tell us in advance if they're going to miss a deadline—because that's what we do. We don't tell people what we expect from them, because we don't think we need to.

It's a little like being frustrated that you weren't given a project to manage that you never asked for. Or hoping for a new iPad for your birthday but not telling anyone, and then being annoyed when you receive a series of coffee-table books that will go straight to your re-gifting shelf.

YOU: "How could he not know I wanted an iPad?"

THE VOICE OF REASON: "Because you never told him."

YOU: "But I shouldn't have to tell him. He should just know."

THE VOICE OF REASON: "Expecting people to know what you want without telling them is insane. How about this: Make a list of birthday gifts you want and ask permission to give the list to your significant other. Chances are he'll be relieved, and you may actually get what you want next year."

Here's a crazy idea: What if you started every relationship by creating an agreement about how you will treat each other?

TEACH PEOPLE HOW TO WIN WITH YOU

What if you set the expectation that when someone violates such an agreement—and it's only a matter of time before one of you does—you both not only have the right but are expected to say something?

Then people might just tell each other the truth.

For example, what if when you scheduled an appointment with a vendor who is notoriously late, you told her that promptness is important to you? You tell the vendor that you're looking forward to the meeting, but if she is more than fifteen minutes late, you're going to leave.

Having laid out this expectation, you might feel more justified in walking out at 12:20 when she still hasn't arrived for your twelve o'clock appointment than you would have if you had not set an expectation during your initial conversation.

For those of you who are thinking, "That may happen to you, but it never happens to me. I would never allow it," here's another example. Have you ever had lunch with a friend or coworker who repeatedly stiffs you for part of the bill? Every time you go out he pays only for his $10.00 burger, forgetting to include tax and tip. Has that person shorted the bill more than once? Did you ever say anything? I'm guessing that instead of speaking up, you begrudgingly threw in a couple of extra dollars, while wondering why you continue to have lunch with the guy.

Instead of subsidizing your cheap friends and coworkers, how about trying something new? What if when sitting down for lunch, everyone at the table agrees to pay his or her fair share? If someone doesn't, each person at the table not only has the right but is expected to say something. "Okay all you tightwads. We're short $8.00. Pony up for tax and tip. We had a deal." And if you want to be a bit more tactful, you could say, "We're short $8.00. If you didn't add tax and tip, please throw in a couple more dollars."

If you make an agreement in advance, you might feel freer speaking up than if you hadn't made that agreement in the first place.

Why do people continue to stiff you on the bill? Why are they always late? Because you allow it.

When there's no permission to speak candidly, you don't. Most of us are afraid of damaging our relationships. So instead of saying what we really think, we suck it up and wait for people who are late and subsidize people who think that tax and tip don't apply to them.

BEHAVIOR GUIDELINES

A few months ago I was speaking at a conference, and two women sitting in the third row talked throughout my entire presentation. The noise drove me nuts. But did I speak to them or confront them? Did I ask them to stop talking? No!

I wanted to say something but I didn't feel that I could—because I hadn't initially requested that the audience refrain from side-talking. If I had asked the two women to stop talking, I would have been criticizing them for something I hadn't asked them not to do. Kind of like getting feedback during a performance appraisal about an issue that no one mentioned to you during the entire year. We all hate that, don't we?

How about asking someone who is texting during a meeting to turn off her phone? When no behavior guidelines are established at the onset of the meeting, how does the facilitator manage participants' behavior?

People feel betrayed when they are called out in these situations, because they're being held to standards they weren't aware of, which makes it impossible for them to win.

You might be thinking these are such common guidelines that they shouldn't even need to be mentioned. Everyone knows we should turn off our phones and not side-talk during presentations. That's true, and yet we break the rules all the time. How many meetings do you attend in which people are stealthily texting under the table, as if no can see what they're doing?

Setting expectations at the beginning of anything new—a meeting, a relationship, or a project—makes it easier to address frustrating behaviors when they happen. And they will happen.

PREPARE FOR THINGS TO GO WRONG

As human beings, we make commitments and then we forget them. How many times have you remembered a meeting only when a reminder popped up in an email? It's why we chose to carry five-pound Franklin planners before replacing them with iPhones and Droids. Our tendency to break commitments is also why personal trainers make a living.

Of course, we don't need someone to watch us warm up on a treadmill and do repetitions. Personal trainers stay in business because without someone expecting us to show up at the gym and charging us if we don't, many of us would sit on our couch watching reruns of bad TV shows.

Rather than expecting people to remember and keep all of their commitments, you're a wise person when you expect that they won't and put what I call a prevention in place.

PREVENTIONS

Preventions take into account that people are human and that human beings make mistakes. Let's say you've made a commitment not to eat sugar. You know that if you buy a pint of your favorite ice cream and put it in your freezer, it will be gone in a few days. So, as a prevention, you don't bring ice cream or other desserts into your house. If you're desperate for a sugar fix you may find yourself driving to the nearest convenience store, but leaving your house is definitely less convenient than walking to your freezer.

Since the day after those two women side-talked throughout my presentation, I've taken a few moments to set expectations at the beginning of every speech, training program, and meeting. I ask people to please silence their phones and not side-talk, email, or text during the presentation. Then I put a prevention in place.

I write the agreements down and post them someplace visible at the beginning of every meeting and presentation. I revisit the agreements before breaks and at the onset of each ensuing session. Keeping agreed-upon behaviors in the forefront makes managing "bad" behavior easier. Instead of being the bad guy and reprimanding people, I am merely reminding them of what they've already agreed to do.

Although I establish my presentation and meeting guidelines and then post them, I know some attendees will still talk to the person next to them and whip out their iPhones. They can't help themselves. So I put a fallback in place.

FALLBACKS

A fallback is a consequence that a group agrees to when people violate agreements. A typical fallback for meetings is for each person who is late to put a dollar in a jar. When the jar is full, the people who were late have funded a happy hour!

When I managed training sessions for a mutual fund company, I would give participants who arrived late to the training sessions the option of putting a dollar into a jar, singing a song, or telling a joke. All of these agreed-upon fallbacks were effective until people started to purposefully arrive late so they could sing! They wanted their moment of stardom. When I realized that the consequence had become a perk, we agreed on a new fallback.

As we all know, relationships are not always smooth. Unless you're hanging out with androids, you will eventually disappoint someone and be disappointed. Setting expectations, putting preventions and fallbacks in place, and asking for permission to give and receive feedback are examples of deliberately designing your relationships. Regardless of what happens, each person involved in making the agreement has the freedom to talk about violated expectations. Hopefully this will preserve and strengthen your relationships, so you don't wind up fired or so others don't refuse to work with you, with no explanation.

ASK FOR CANDOR

When I was trying to brand my business, the owner of a marketing agency I was considering hiring put a sizable proposal in front of me. I was overwhelmed. The plan was, shall we say, much more robust than I had anticipated. In fact, the cost was a showstopper.

After we learned more about each other's businesses and talked through the elements of the proposal, I said, "Let's talk about money. The cost associated with this proposal overwhelmed me. I'd love to do this work with you, but if I choose to do it, I'll have to go live with my mom."

Despite the fact he had just discovered that I probably couldn't afford to work with him, the owner of the agency looked relieved and said, "Most people dance uncomfortably around the issue of money and never quite get to it. You just threw it out there."

I told him what I tell all the vendors I work with: "I'm really direct. You can say anything to me, and I hope you will. I mean it. Never be worried about something you want or need to say."

So how about trying something new? At the beginning of all of your professional relationships, ask people to be honest with you. Give your boss, coworkers, customers, and vendors permission to say whatever they need to say, and ask for permission to do the same.

EFFECTIVE BUSINESS RELATIONSHIP LANGUAGE

Consider using the following language when starting business relationships.

Kicking off relationships with Coworkers

"I want a good relationship with you. If we work together long enough, I'm sure I'll screw it up. I'll wait too long to reply to an email, make a mistake, or miss a deadline. I'd like the kind of relationship in which we can talk about these things. I always want to know what you think. And I promise that no matter what you tell me, I'll say thank you. Is it okay if I work this way with you?"

Kicking off relationships with direct reports

"As your manager, my job is to help you get where you want to go, whether that is within this organization or elsewhere. As a result, I'm going to let you know anything I hear you say or see you do or see you wear that either contributes to your success or gets in the way of it."

Managers who take the time and make the effort to set expectations build trust, rapport, and relationship—the elements of smooth working relationships.

Kicking off relationships with direct supervisors

"I'm committed to my professional development, and I'm always looking for growth opportunities. I hope that if you hear me say or see me do or see me wear anything that gets in the way of how I want to be seen, you will tell me. I promise I'll be receptive and say thank you. I also, of course, hope you'll tell me the things I do well that are in line with your expectations."

Although supervisors don't need permission to give their direct reports feedback, many are hesitant to do so. They don't want to offend or damage a new relationship. Like most people, managers are concerned that if they give negative feedback, they won't be liked or their employees might quit.

You might be thinking, "It's my boss's job to give me feedback. I shouldn't have to ask for it." And you're right. Your boss should give you feedback and you shouldn't have to ask for it. But if he doesn't, you're at a huge disadvantage. You may spend massive amounts of time on projects that aren't really important. You may not be given opportunities and never know why. And you may think your performance is strong, only to find out otherwise when you receive a mediocre performance review and a nominal pay increase. So yes, your boss should give you feedback without your having to ask for it. You can be right all day, but your righteousness won't get you any closer to the career or business relationship you want.

THE SCHOOL OF WHAT WORKS VERSUS THE SCHOOL OF WHAT'S RIGHT

When I was twenty-three, I moved to Boulder, Colorado, because the weather is beautiful and it's never humid in Boulder. I landed my first real job there (my parents were very relieved), supporting trainers who taught public seminars all over the country.

The company sent me to Chicago for training on my first day on the job. I was traveling with my new boss, who was only about six months older than I was and, in my opinion, very snooty. One afternoon we were sitting at a red light at a four-way intersection, waiting to turn right. I had just started to turn when a car in the opposing lane made a left turn and cut me off. I instantly hit the brakes.

My boss scowled and said, "Why did you stop? You had the right of way." I replied, "I'd rather be alive than right."

That experience stuck with me much longer than the job. Since that day, I've worked hard to live by the teachings of the school of what works as opposed to the school of what's right. That means that rather than stand on a principle, I make sure to get what I need.

Yes, your boss should tell you what he wants at the beginning of your relationship and give you feedback when you violate his expectations. But some managers will do that and some won't. If you want to get more detailed feedback than the statement "meets expectations" on your performance appraisal, you must know what your boss wants and how he wants it, as well as his perceptions of your performance.

When you tell your boss you want his feedback and promise to take it graciously, you're saying several things. First, you respect him and his opinion. Second, you demonstrate that you care about your career and take your job seriously. Third, you make it easy to give you feedback. Your boss doesn't have to worry that you're going to get defensive.

So be smart and take your performance into your own hands. Regardless of who you work for or what you think of him or her, ask for feedback early in the relationship. Promise to accept his or her response graciously.

Starting relationships by giving permission to give you feedback may feel a little weird. If my sample conversations feel awkward or unrealistic, use whatever language you feel comfortable with. Choose whatever words seem best to you. The important thing is to get out in front of your relationships.

Think about it—has anyone ever overtly given you permission to say whatever you need to say? Or promised that when you do, they'll say thank you? Setting the expectation that you'll give and receive feedback at the beginning of a relationship is so unusual, it immediately sets you apart. Almost no one does this, but everyone wants to work with people who do. Be that person. It's easy and costs absolutely nothing.

(Continues...)



Excerpted from HOW TO SAY ANYTHING TO ANYONE by SHARI HARLEY Copyright © 2013 by Shari Harley. Excerpted by permission of Greenleaf Book Group Press. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.

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Table of Contents

Introduction: The Case for Candor 1

Chapter 1 How to Establish Candid Relationships 7

Chapter 2 You Get What You Ask For 19

Chapter 3 Taking the Mystery Out of Working with Others 27

Chapter 4 How to Create Candid Managerial Relationships 43

Chapter 5 Managing up with Candor 63

Chapter 6 Strengthening Internal Business Relationships 75

Chapter 7 Relationships Require Maintenance 85

Chapter 8 Can I Trust You? 95

Chapter 9 Giving and Receiving Feedback What, When, Why and How 105

Chapter 10 The Feedback Formula 117

Chapter 11 Tips for Giving Useful Feedback 129

Chapter 12 What they Say When You're Not There 139

Chapter 13 Dealing with Difficult Situations 151

Chapter 14 Business Relationships that Really Work 167

Acknowledgments 169

About The Author 170

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Customer Reviews

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Sort by: Showing all of 10 Customer Reviews
  • Posted January 3, 2013

    A MUST Own Book to help you Lead, Communicate, and Mangage

    Many of us think we are good at clearly communicating - or perhaps we deliberately avoid conflict - at home or at work. This book is chock full of healthy reminders, tips, suggestions and guidance on how to communicate - while finding the balance of knowing when to step back. Shari says "In the absence of knowledge, people fill in the gaps. Give more information than you think you need to give." Great reminder to not leave people guessing. Say what you want to say, be kind, follow-up, and stay tuned in. This is one solid example of the kinds of eye-opening and healthy reminders filled in this book to help anyone looking to create a happier work environment with the relationships we strive to create up, down, and across our organizations.
    This book is a MUST have to any leader looking to better manage up - or manage down. Buy this book and refer to it often!

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Posted April 1, 2013

    The need for candid conversations within business is apparent.

    The need for candid conversations within business is apparent. So why are so few happening? In How to Say Anything to Anyone, Shari Harley unravels this mystery and powerfully conveys both an easy to replicate formula and compelling “why” for delivering candid conversations. As a 20 year HR veteran, I have personally seen the detrimental effects that forgoing these conversations can have.It is LOADED with practical, useful, and easy to apply gems that walk you step-by-step through the process of setting up and delivering effective communications to literally anyone! This book is a must read for employees who want to excel in their current role and stand out from the pack, new employees and hiring managers who want start things off on the right foot, managers who want to ensure their team’s success, and in turn, their own, leaders or team members who have ever been challenged with giving feedback that makes a difference, and sales people who want to impact their bottom line. While I am aware that the book was written for application within a business setting, I found my thoughts drifting to those conversations that were still outstanding with my brother, my friends, my parents or my boyfriend. I could see how using these tools and principles within my own personal relationships would have a significant impact. The truth of the matter is - How to Say Anything to Anyone is a fitting title and is a must read for ANYONE who wishes to make ANY relationship productive.


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  • Posted February 23, 2013

    Very helpful advice in dealing with co-workers: be direct and as

    Very helpful advice in dealing with co-workers: be direct and ask questions about what they're looking for, and how they perceive you. Plus, the "meat" in this book is a greater part of the book than most of these types of books; the author doesn't babble on about the author; the author instead fills the book with practical advice.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted January 23, 2013

    This book is a must read for all HR professionals and people-man

    This book is a must read for all HR professionals and people-managers. We can all learn something to apply to our working relationships as employees as well. Shari's book is very accessible; through her use of real-life examples and recommendations of how to implement her ideas at the workplace - readers have the opportunity to take full advantage of her wisdom. Buy it, read it, use it and share it!

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  • Posted January 20, 2013

    Shari presents lots of great advice on how to use candor in the

    Shari presents lots of great advice on how to use candor in the work place in a well written and easy to understand book. This is a must read for people who work in environments where they need to interact with others.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Posted January 11, 2013

    BUY THIS BOOK TODAY!!

    I have been in management positions for many years. This is the first book in a long while I have found that provides specific and actionable information that can be practices and used. My direct reports feel more comfortable giving hard messages to their agents. I highly recommend this book!

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  • Posted January 4, 2013

    Shari Harley has created a masterpiece, a book that finally lays

    Shari Harley has created a masterpiece, a book that finally lays out in clear steps how to have the conversations that people dance around. More than just the "how to", How to Say Anything to Anyone provides a clear picture of why each of us should and must have these conversations. We're not doing anyone (least of all ourselves) any favors by not confronting behaviors and beliefs that stop us from becoming the best person, parent, partner or professional that we can be. This book is the proverbial needle in the haystack, unique wisdom amidst a plethora of communication books.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted January 4, 2013

    I loved this book. It offers practical, common sense solutions t

    I loved this book. It offers practical, common sense solutions to manage interpersonal conflicts that you are bound to encounter dozens of times a year. The book provides step by step instructions on how to foster relationships so that conversations to make your needs heard, even ones that are downright awkward, are quick, to the point, and effective. And often, almost painless.

    As I read this, I thought of how unnecessarily agonizing I had made difficult conversations. No more. After reading this book, I am confident that I'll be able to ask a colleague to refrain from cooking fish in the office kitchen to telling a senior person to stop gossiping around me. Without fear, hesitation, or unnecessary apology.

    Great for those starting the workforce, as well as those who find themselves burdened by annoying, difficult, or energy sucking people.

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  • Posted January 3, 2013

    What seems so simple is so often forgotten. Most of the problems

    What seems so simple is so often forgotten. Most of the problems that I come across in the workplace have to do with a lack of good communication. As a human resource manager, I am often hearing managers tell me all of the reasons they want to terminate someone. Then I ask them the magical question - "Have you told them that you have concerns?" That's when the entertainment sets in for me. I see them squirm and wiggle in their chair and start looking out the window as they say "well, kinda." That's when I grab Shari's book and hand it to them.

    Shari gives great advice and tips on how to have the tough conversations with others. She also does a great job in giving real life examples to truly demonstrate why it is so important to have good communication and basic understanding of co-workers needs. I keep her book on my desk as a reminder to not make assumptions about people and to actually get up and talk to people.

    This book will change your life!

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  • Anonymous

    Posted January 7, 2013

    No text was provided for this review.

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