How to Stop Looking for Someone Perfect and Find Someone to Love

Overview

Finding love is easier than you think, and more within your control than you realize! Written by a clinical psychologist, this practical and friendly guide to finding the right mate is filled with proven strategies, expert advice, and exercises to help you clarify your dating priorities, stop inventing problems, and start seeking lasting love. Filled with wisdom, understanding, and warmth, this handy volume reveals the three "Golden Rules" of dating, ways to change your negative attitudes and expectations, the ...

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Overview

Finding love is easier than you think, and more within your control than you realize! Written by a clinical psychologist, this practical and friendly guide to finding the right mate is filled with proven strategies, expert advice, and exercises to help you clarify your dating priorities, stop inventing problems, and start seeking lasting love. Filled with wisdom, understanding, and warmth, this handy volume reveals the three "Golden Rules" of dating, ways to change your negative attitudes and expectations, the best model for choosing a mate, tips for screening strangers, and methods for identifying and evaluating sexual problems early in a relationship. Decide what qualities and characteristics in a mate are really important to you. Overcome obstacles like "the audience effect," which causes you to view people through others' eyes and "a fixed personal picture," which rules out potential mates based on certain attributes, and more.

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Editorial Reviews

Publishers Weekly - Publisher's Weekly
Many people's strong points are vitiated by their innate weaknesses, according to psychologist Sills ( How to Stop Looking for Someone Perfect and Find Someone to Love ), and these weaknesses--or ``excess baggage''--are our blind spots. They are difficult for us to recognize; hence they make it harder for us to attain our goals and for others to like us. Sills offers deliberately exaggerated profiles of five main psychological types, each of which she sees as fueled by a different ``ruling passion'': control, self-esteem, security, attachment and justice. The person whose ruling passion is security may be very generous, but also dependent and manipulative, for example, and a person motivated by the need to control may be efficient, but could also be a workaholic. Accompanying each profile are exercises to help readers to jettison excess baggage. While Sills's analysis is simplistic, her prose is crisp and entertaining and her advice is practical. 50,000 first printing; author tour. (Jan.)
Library Journal
According to Sills, a psychologist and author of A Fine Romance ( LJ 9/15/87) and How To Stop Looking for Someone Perfect and Find Someone To Love (Ballantine, 1985), many people overdevelop their strongest traits. Eventually, these traits get in a person's way and make relationships difficult. The author describes five personality types that often accompany one's excess emotional baggage and suggests tips and activities to provide more balance. Since most people can recognize a little of themselves and a lot of others in the personality profiles, this clear, easy - to - follow analysis will be popular with patrons looking for self-help books. For popular psychology collections. Previewed in Prepub Alert, LJ 9/15/92.-- Marguerite Mroz, Baltimore Cty. P.L.
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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9780312396268
  • Publisher: St. Martin's Press
  • Publication date: 9/1/1984
  • Edition description: 1st ed
  • Pages: 224

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