How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk (30th Anniversary Edition)

All Available Formats + Editions

——

$12.99

NOOK Book

——

$12.99

How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk (30th Anniversary Edition) (eBook - 30th Anniversary Edition) Pub. Date: 2/7/2012 Publisher: Scribner
$0.01

$13.98

Paperback

$0.99

$13.98

How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk (20th Anniversary Edition) (20th Anniversary Edition) Pub. Date: 10/28/1999 Publisher: HarperCollins Publishers

$9.39

$13.98

How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk (30th Anniversary Edition) (30th Anniversary Edition) Pub. Date: 2/7/2012 Publisher: Scribner

$0.01

——

How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk (Older Edition) Pub. Date: 3/1/1982 Publisher: HarperCollins Publishers

$1.63

——

How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk (1st ed) Pub. Date: 10/1/1980 Publisher: Macmillan Publishing Company, Incorporated
$14.92

$15.85

Hardcover

$14.92

$15.85

How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk (30th Anniversary Edition) (30th Anniversary Edition) Pub. Date: 2/7/2012 Publisher: Scribner
$3.72

$12.81

Audiobook

$7.95

$12.81

How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk (CD - Abridged, 1 CD, 1 hr.) Pub. Date: 9/1/2002 Publisher: Simon & Schuster Audio/Nightingale-Conant

$5.09

——

How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk (Cassette - Abridged, 1 cassette, 1 hr) Pub. Date: 1/28/1995 Publisher: Simon & Schuster Audio/Nightingale-Conant

$3.72

——

How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk (Cassette) Pub. Date: 2/29/2000 Publisher: Simon & Schuster Audio/Nightingale-Conant

Customers Who Bought This Also Bought

Advertising

Overview

30th Anniversary Edition

Updated with new insights from the next generation

You can stop fighting with your children! Here is the bestselling book that will give you the know-how you need to be more effective with your children—and more supportive of yourself. Enthusiastically praised by parents and professionals around the world, the down-to-earth, respectful approach of Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish makes relationships with children of all ages less stressful and more rewarding. Now, in this thirtieth-anniversary edition, these award-winning experts share their latest insights and suggestions based on feedback they’ve received over the years.

Their methods of communication—illustrated with delightful cartoons showing the skills in action—offer innovative ways to solve common problems. You’ll learn how to:

* Cope with your child’s negative feelings—frustration, disappointment, anger, etc.

* Express your anger without being hurtful

* Engage your child’s willing cooperation

* Set firm limits and still maintain goodwill

* Use alternatives to punishment

* Resolve family conflicts peacefully

Editorial Reviews

Tracy Grant

There's a reason that How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk…has a permanent spot on family bookshelves next to What to Expect When You're Expecting. The book, first published in 1980 and now lightly updated for the age of social media, calls on parents to be their best selves…I don't think How to Talk is a magic bullet that can be implemented verbatim with foolproof results. But it does offer useful nuggets…
—The Washington Post

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9781451663877
Publisher: Scribner
Publication date: 2/7/2012
Edition description: 30th Anniversary Edition
Pages: 368
Sales rank: 1,489
Product dimensions: 5.60 (w) x 8.50 (h) x 1.20 (d)

Meet the Author

Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish are internationally acclaimed experts on communication between adults and children. Their first book, Liberated Parents/Liberated Children, received the Christopher Award for “literary achievement affirming the highest values of the human spirit.” Their subsequent books, How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk and the #1 New York Times bestseller Siblings Without Rivalry, have sold over three million copies and have been translated into over thirty languages. Their book, How to Talk So Kids Can Learn – At Home and in School, was cited by Child Magazine as the “best book of the year for excellence in family issues in education.” The authors’ group workshop programs and videos produced by PBS are currently being used by parent and teacher groups around the world to improve relationships with children. Their most recent book, How to Talk So Teens Will Listen & Listen So Teens Will Talk, tackles the tough problems of the teenage years.

Both authors studied with the late child psychologist, Dr. Haim Ginott, and are former members of the faculty of the New School for Social Research in New York and The Family Life Institute of Long Island University. In addition to their frequent lectures throughout the United States, Canada and abroad, they have appeared on every major television talk show from Oprah to Good Morning America. They currently reside in Long Island, New York and each is the parent of three children.

Read an Excerpt

1 Helping Children Deal with Their Feelings

PART I

I was a wonderful parent before I had children. I was an expert on why everyone else was having problems with theirs. Then I had three of my own.

Living with real children can be humbling. Every morning I would tell myself, “Today is going to be different,” and every morning was a variation of the one before: “You gave her more than me!” . . . “That’s the pink cup. I want the blue cup.” . . . “This oatmeal looks like throw-up.” . . . “He punched me.” . . . “I never touched him!” . . . “I won’t go to my room. You’re not the boss over me!”

They finally wore me down. And though it was the last thing I ever dreamed I’d be doing, I joined a parent group. The group met at a local child-guidance center and was led by a young psychologist, Dr. Haim Ginott.

The meeting was intriguing. The subject was “children’s feelings,” and the two hours sped by. I came home with a head spinning with new thoughts and a notebook full of undigested ideas:

Direct connection between how kids feel and how they behave.

When kids feel right, they’ll behave right.

How do we help them to feel right?

By accepting their feelings!

Problem—Parents don’t usually accept their children’s feelings. For example:

“You don’t really feel that way.”

“You’re just saying that because you’re tired.”

“There’s no reason to be so upset.”

Steady denial of feelings can confuse and enrage kids. Also teaches them not to know what their feelings are—not to trust them.

After the session I remember thinking, “Maybe other parents do that. I don’t.” Then I started listening to myself. Here are some sample conversations from my home—just from a single day.

CHILD:	Mommy, I’m tired.
ME:	You couldn’t be tired. You just napped.
CHILD:	(louder) But I’m tired.
ME:	You’re not tired. You’re just a little sleepy. Let’s get dressed.
CHILD:	(wailing) No, I’m tired!
CHILD:	Mommy, it’s hot in here.
ME:	It’s cold. Keep your sweater on.
CHILD:	No, I’m hot.
ME:	I said, “Keep your sweater on!”
CHILD:	No, I’m hot.
CHILD:	That TV show was boring.
ME:	No, it wasn’t. It was very interesting.
CHILD:	It was stupid.
ME:	It was educational.
CHILD:	It stunk.
ME:	Don’t talk that way!

Can you see what was happening? Not only were all our conversations turning into arguments, I was also telling my children over and over again not to trust their own perceptions but to rely on mine instead.

Once I was aware of what I was doing, I was determined to change. But I wasn’t sure how to go about it. What finally helped me most was actually putting myself in my children’s shoes. I asked myself, “Suppose I were a child who was tired, or hot or bored? And suppose I wanted that all-important grown-up in my life to know what I was feeling . . . ?”

Over the next weeks I tried to tune in to what I thought my children might be experiencing, and when I did, my words seemed to follow naturally. I wasn’t just using a technique. I really meant it when I said, “So you’re still feeling tired—even though you just napped.” Or “I’m cold, but for you it’s hot in here.” Or “I can see you didn’t care much for that show.” After all, we were two separate people, capable of having two different sets of feelings. Neither of us was right or wrong. We each felt what we felt.

For a while, my new skill was a big help. There was a noticeable reduction in the number of arguments between the children and me. Then one day my daughter announced, “I hate Grandma,” and it was my mother she was talking about. I never hesitated for a second. “That is a terrible thing to say,” I snapped. “You know you don’t mean it. I don’t ever want to hear that coming out of your mouth again.”

That little exchange taught me something else about myself. I could be very accepting about most of the feelings the children had, but let one of them tell me something that made me angry or anxious and I’d instantly revert to my old way.

I’ve since learned that my reaction was not that unusual. On the following page you’ll find examples of other statements children make that often lead to an automatic denial from their parents. Please read each statement and jot down what you think a parent might say if he were denying his child’s feelings.

I. CHILD: I don’t like the new baby.
PARENT: (denying the feeling)
____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
II. CHILD: I had a dumb birthday party. (After you went “all out” to make it a wonderful day.)
PARENT: (denying the feeling)
____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
III. CHILD: I’m not wearing this stupid retainer anymore. It hurts. I don’t care what the orthodontist says!
PARENT: (denying the feeling)
____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
IV. CHILD: I hate that new coach! Just because I was one minute late he kicked me off the team.
PARENT: (denying the feeling)
____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________

Did you find yourself writing things like:

“That’s not so. I know in your heart you really love the baby.”

“What are you talking about? You had a wonderful party—ice cream, birthday cake, balloons. Well, that’s the last party you’ll ever have!”

“Your retainer can’t hurt that much. After all the money we’ve invested in your mouth, you’ll wear that thing whether you like it or not!”

“You have no right to be mad at the coach. It’s your fault. You should have been on time.”

Somehow this kind of talk comes easily to many of us. But how do children feel when they hear it? In order to get a sense of what it’s like to have one’s feelings dismissed, try the following exercise:

Imagine that you’re at work. Your employer asks you to do an extra job for him. He wants it ready by the end of the day. You mean to take care of it immediately, but because of a series of emergencies that come up you completely forget. Things are so hectic, you barely have time for your own lunch.

As you and a few coworkers are getting ready to go home, your boss comes over to you and asks for the finished piece of work. Quickly you try to explain how unusually busy you were today.

He interrupts you. In a loud, angry voice he shouts, “I’m not interested in your excuses! What the hell do you think I’m paying you for—to sit around all day on your butt?” As you open your mouth to speak, he says, “Save it,” and walks off to the elevator.

Your coworkers pretend not to have heard. You finish gathering your things and leave the office. On the way home you meet a friend. You’re still so upset that you find yourself telling him or her what had just taken place.

Your friend tries to “help” you in eight different ways. As you read each response, tune in to your immediate “gut” reaction and then write it down. (There are no right or wrong reactions. Whatever you feel is right for you.)

I. Denial of Feelings: “There’s no reason to be so upset. It’s foolish to feel that way. You’re probably just tired and blowing the whole thing out of proportion. It can’t be as bad as you make it out to be. Come on, smile . . . You look so nice when you smile.”

Your reaction:

____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
II. The Philosophical Response: “Look, life is like that. Things don’t always turn out the way we want. You have to learn to take things in stride. In this world, nothing is perfect.”
Your reaction:
____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
III. Advice: “You know what I think you should do? Tomorrow morning go straight to your boss’s office and say, ‘Look, I was wrong.’ Then sit right down and finish that piece of work you neglected today. Don’t get trapped by those little emergencies that come up. And if you’re smart and you want to keep that job of yours, you’ll make sure nothing like that ever happens again.”
Your reaction:
____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
IV. Questions: “What exactly were those emergencies you had that would cause you to forget a special request from your boss?”

“Didn’t you realize he’d be angry if you didn’t get to it immediately?”

“Has this ever happened before?”

“Why didn’t you follow him when he left the room and try to explain again?”

Your reaction:
____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
V. Defense of the Other Person: “I can understand your boss’s reaction. He’s probably under terrible pressure. You’re lucky he doesn’t lose his temper more often.”
Your reaction:
____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
VI. Pity: “Oh, you poor thing. That is terrible! I feel so sorry for you, I could just cry.”
Your reaction:
____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
VII. Amateur Psychoanalysis: “Has it ever occurred to you that the real reason you’re so upset by this is because your employer represents a father figure in your life? As a child you probably worried about displeasing your father, and when your boss scolded you it brought back your early fears of rejection. Isn’t that true?”
Your reaction:
____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
VIII. An Empathic Response (an attempt to tune into the feelings of another): “Boy, that sounds like a rough experience. To be subjected to an attack like that in front of other people, especially after having been under so much pressure, must have been pretty hard to take!”
Your reaction:
____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________

You’ve just been exploring your own reactions to some fairly typical ways that people talk. Now I’d like to share with you some of my personal reactions. When I’m upset or hurting, the last thing I want to hear is advice, philosophy, psychology, or the other fellow’s point of view. That kind of talk makes me only feel worse than before. Pity leaves me feeling pitiful; questions put me on the defensive; and most infuriating of all is to hear that I have no reason to feel what I’m feeling. My overriding reaction to most of these responses is “Oh, forget it. . . . What’s the point of going on?”

But let someone really listen, let someone acknowledge my inner pain and give me a chance to talk more about what’s troubling me, and I begin to feel less upset, less confused, more able to cope with my feelings and my problem.

I might even say to myself, “My boss is usually fair. . . . I suppose I should have taken care of that report immediately. . . . But I still can’t overlook what he did. . . . Well, I’ll go in early tomorrow and write that report first thing in the morning. . . . But when I bring it to his office I’ll let him know how upsetting it was for me to be spoken to in that way. . . . And I’ll also let him know that, from now on, if he has any criticism I would appreciate being told privately.”

The process is no different for our children. They too can help themselves if they have a listening ear and an empathic response. But the language of empathy does not come naturally to us. It’s not part of our “mother tongue.” Most of us grew up having our feelings denied. To become fluent in this new language of acceptance, we have to learn and practice its methods. Here are some ways to help children deal with their feelings.

TO HELP WITH FEELINGS

1. Listen with full attention.

2. Acknowledge their feelings with a word—“Oh” . . . “Mmm” . . . “I see.”

3. Give their feelings a name.

4. Give them their wishes in fantasy.

On the next few pages you’ll see the contrast between these methods and the ways that people usually respond to a child who is in distress.

Customer Reviews

Average Rating 4.5

( 42 )

Rating Distribution

5 Star

(29)

4 Star

(4)

3 Star

(6)

2 Star

(1)

1 Star

(2)

Your Rating:

Review Guidelines

Tell the world what you think of this product.

Add Recommendations

Your Name: Create a Pen Name or Leave Anonymously

Barnes & Noble.com Review Rules

Our reader reviews allow you to share your comments on titles you liked, or didn't, with others. By submitting an online review, you are representing to Barnes & Noble.com that all information contained in your review is original and accurate in all respects, and that the submission of such content by you and the posting of such content by Barnes & Noble.com does not and will not violate the rights of any third party. Please follow the rules below to help ensure that your review can be posted.

Reviews by Our Customers Under the Age of 13

We highly value and respect everyone's opinion concerning the titles we offer. However, we cannot allow persons under the age of 13 to have accounts at BN.com or to post customer reviews. Please see our Terms of Use for more details.

What to exclude from your review:

Please do not write about reviews, commentary, or information posted on the product page. If you see any errors in the information on the product page, please send us an email.

Reviews should not contain any of the following:

- HTML tags, profanity, obscenities, vulgarities, or comments that defame anyone
- Time-sensitive information such as tour dates, signings, lectures, etc.
- Single-word reviews. Other people will read your review to discover why you liked or didn't like the title. Be descriptive.
- Comments focusing on the author or that may ruin the ending for others
- Phone numbers, addresses, URLs
- Pricing and availability information or alternative ordering information
- Advertisements or commercial solicitation

Reminder:

- By submitting a review, you grant to Barnes & Noble.com and its sublicensees the royalty-free, perpetual, irrevocable right and license to use the review in accordance with the Barnes & Noble.com Terms of Use.
- Barnes & Noble.com reserves the right not to post any review -- particularly those that do not follow the terms and conditions of these Rules. Barnes & Noble.com also reserves the right to remove any review at any time without notice.
- See Terms of Use for other conditions and disclaimers.

RRCA

Posted July 1, 2009

A useful book to improve communication with kids

This book was actually suggested for my son who is a Special Needs Child to improve communication with him. But this book has made me to improve my communication with my daughter who is 9 years old. A very good book which I would suggest to be read by every parent.

3 out of 3 people found this review helpful.
Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.
SunshineRS

Posted April 20, 2009

more from this reviewer

Love the Book!

I have purchased this book for friends and family. I totally recommend this book for those who have kids/children.

2 out of 2 people found this review helpful.
Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.
Anonymous

Posted January 8, 2006

Wonderful Examples of Better Communication with Children

This classic book clearly explains the difference between positive discipline and punishment. The authors feel that punishment usually does not serve to change the child's behavior and they give many positive alternatives that often work better. I found their many specific examples in simple cartoon form as well as in the text to be extremely helpful giving me the exact words to try with my 2 children, aged 3 and 8. The true to life anecdotes are the best part of this book and they refer to challenging situations with children of all ages, like sibling rivalry, tuning us out, homework, disrespectful attitude, chores, backtalk, tantrums, etc. If you have a toddler like me, I also recommend 'The Pocket Parent' written in a bulleted A-Z format for parents with a 2, 3, 4, or 5 year old. This book has similar, specific anecdotes for toddlers that whine, bite, refuse to eat or go to bed, lie, hit, etc. We refer to both books again and again to get options to try as situations arise...Practical, very parent-friendly and resonably priced guidance equally appropriate for both moms and dads.

2 out of 2 people found this review helpful.
Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.
NYCat64

Posted April 30, 2009

more from this reviewer

Every Parent and Teacher Should Read This Book

This book is a must read for every parent, every teacher, and anyone who works with children. This book was recommended to me by my son's Speech Pathologist. Since I have a slight hearing problem - I tend to speak loudly. This book as helped me to lower the volume of my speech. It has also given me the tools to choose my words differently which has yielded more patience in dealing with my special needs child.

I highly recommend this book for every parent, but it is especially helpful for parents with kids that have sensory issues. Anyone with a sensory child knows how challenging it can be to teach their child to be aware of other people and things. This book is a great tool.

I think anyone who gives this book a negative review is actually looking for a book on how to punish their children and not a book on speaking and listening respectfully.

1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.
Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.
HEWC59

Posted March 30, 2009

A great read for Parents

Practical insight into both sides of communication.
No matter your age the parents are just "old" to a child.
Listening and being heard are difficult traits that most
people need to refresh on. Read this book and be a better
parent and person!

1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.
Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.
Anonymous

Posted February 17, 2009

I Also Recommend:

Communication techniques that really work.

This book should be required reading for all those who are parents or who hope to be--as well as teachers and others who interact with children. The guidlines for communicating effectively based on love, mutual respect, preacticality and reason can be used with adults as well. This book takes theories of "tough love" and "natural consequences" to a user friendly level. Eliminating power struggles and heated arguments that go nowhere is facilitated by understanding the premise of Faber and Mazlish' work. And I find that using their methods actually builds respect, accountability and ease of communication on many levels.

1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.
Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.
Anonymous

Posted May 1, 2000

Wow - it's great!

This is one of the best books I've ever read on getting kids to open up and communicate, especially for the child of two to six. It will make a big diference in your life.

1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.
Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.
Anonymous

Posted February 25, 2000

Lifesaver

As a child and adolescent Psychiatrist, I believe this book helps parents obtain a level of success and peace of mind that no other parenting book can provide. It is easy to understand and it works. But watch out! The book will require you to be an active participant in your child's life and learn to see them with respect and joy.

1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.
Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.
Anonymous

Posted March 16, 2012

Who cares?

Really guys get a life

0 out of 4 people found this review helpful.
Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.
Anonymous

Posted May 28, 2010

I Also Recommend:

This Is Handbook That Every Parent Asks For!

Raising a child can be tough in this day and age. What children never come with is a handbook. This book is about as close to a "handbook" that every parent wish for. If your child is one day to twenty-one pick it up.

For anyone who feels bound by their anger, guilt, hurt or pain, I also recommend "When God Stopped Keeping Score." I thought that the book was just about forgiveness, I soon learned, it was about so much more than that. I was about how you should deal with friends, family and yourself and more importantly, how to keep these relationships strong when things go wrong. As a parent, I have learned raising children will bring unearth a lot of the emotions you felt in childhood.

Having read it, I feel like a better person. Maybe because this book spoke to me and not down to me. I have read a lot of books that was written like I didn't know anything. What the author of "When God Stopped Keeping Score" does is talk to you like a friend. I needed that. You will understand why when you read it.
Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.
Anonymous

Posted May 5, 2010

Every parent should have this book!

When our kids are younger, we read magazines and books on their upbringing. But as they reach the "difficult" years we tend to rely on friends' strategies to guide us along. This book is a great resource for the those years! It's kinda like a workbook with different scenarios for all situations you encounter as a parent of teens and tweens. It's really amazing as you read the book how many situations you can apply to your family. It seems the author was studying my family before he wrote the book!

It's very easy to read and the information can be applied immediately. I can see my attitude change as well as the attitudes of my kids. It's great!!
Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.
kooikermom

Posted May 5, 2010

I Also Recommend:

Excellent book

I used this book when my now thirty-something children were little. I also recommended it to parents throughout my teaching career because it describes the "active listening" technique in an easy to remember way and has illustrations of the main points to aid remembering them. I bought the latest version for my daughter when my granddaughter was little and it was very helpful to her. I required a teacher-intern who was having difficulty relating to her students to buy the book and bought the latest copy to be able to discuss it page by page with her. I think that the authors have a great book for many uses. The techniques described also work with spouses and co-workers and in any social situation. Active listening helps you be a more genuine person to your children and not only "works" as a discipline technique, but also helps you have a genuine, loving, and cooperative relationship with them.
Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.
of-course

Posted March 3, 2010

more from this reviewer

Must Read

This is as close to an instruction manual on raising children as you will find.
Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.
DebJNev

Posted December 28, 2009

So Good I've Bought it Twice

I highly recommend this book for successful, healthy communicating with children and adults alike. I learned so many valuable lessons in validating my childrens feelings and teaching them to trust themselves AND saved myself a lot of time and frustration by knowing when NOT to argue or step in. The advice is practical, easy to follow, and some of it makes such obvious sense that I felt a little ignorant for not already knowing it! This books advice on communicating has also been very effective in my interpersonal relationships with adults and in business. I wish every parent was given this book at the baby shower for their first born. It's that valuable.
Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.
Anonymous

Posted September 3, 2007

Good book? Are you kidding me?

I am literally shocked that anyone could read this book and find it even somewhat useful. If my goal were to raise children who were in complete control of every situation they may ever find themselves in, to turn bad behavior into a joke favoring my child, or to just plain act like I'm a clueless pushover, I might recommend this book. Instead, read Setting Limits if you are interested in being respectful yet firm, allowing your child to bask in their self esteem while learning the world has consequences for our actions.
Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.
Anonymous

Posted March 25, 2007

My Parenting and Teaching Bible

As a preschool teacher and director for the past sixteen years, mother of three, grandmother of three and aunt of 22, I can tell you that the 'tricks' in this book saved many hours of frustration. I am thrilled that the message here is to treat children with respect and to speak with respect. I have recommended this easy-to-read book to parents for the twenty years that I've used it. I wish I could give it 10 stars!
Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.
Anonymous

Posted December 7, 2006

Wonderful parenting/life skills guide!

I have used this book for over 20 years! The key to learning to use this book is to take 'baby steps' doing one technique at a time so you don't get overwhelmed and neither do your kids. I first took a class on parenting that used this book when my now 23 year old son was 2 years old and being very oppositional(he is now in law school)! I have gone back to it many, many times. I have found it very helpful in getting my kids to talk when I know something is bothering them (even now at ages 23 and nearly 18), and also the techniques help to keep the lines of communication open when they are telling me about a problem they are having (even when I really want to say--but don't--'why did you do something so dumb!' ha). I recommend it to parents all the time. It also helps you to talk with adults, especially your spouse!
Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.
Anonymous

Posted July 20, 2005

Still the best book for parents.

This is the best book to read if you want to build strong relationships with your children. However, you can also use this with all your relationships. The reason that this book is so valuable is because it is based on a strong foundation of encouragement and understanding of meeting the child (persons) basic needs. There are times when we actually discourage our children by seeing them as helpless and over protect them. There are times when we want to point out their short commings to teach a lesson and they stop listening to us and just feel bad about who they are. Sometimes these children just give up. This book encourages parents to talk less and to listen more, how to have empathy and how to set limits in ways that allow the love to come through. When parents learn to do these things children respond more positively. This book gives parents more ways to help the child feel loved and to have reasons to feel like a part of the family. I must say that, my 30 year old son is a loving, productive, happy person and I owe an awful lot of the improvement in my parenting skills to, How To Talk So Kids Will Listen, And Listen So Kids Will Talk. I encourage every person to read this book because it is just the best for relationships of all kinds.
Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.
Anonymous

Posted November 10, 2004

not just for parents

This book should be required reading for anyone who works with children - whether it be parents, teachers, scout leaders, coaches. This book is a classic when it comes to great parenting advice but I hope even non-parents read it too. Effective communication is a skill we all need to model well so kids grow up knowing how to do this in their own lives as independent adults. I especially like the advice about homework battles. It reminded me of another good book, Mommy-CEO, that gives similar advice. Respectful communication that is developmentally appropriate is so much more effective than yelling and screaming, nagging, or talking down to kids. Get this book!

0 out of 1 people found this review helpful.
Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.
Anonymous

Posted November 10, 2004

Read So You Will Understand

This is an older book with a classic message. Adele Faber and her sidekick, are truly remarkable women and authors. While it does take time, it's a wise investment. If you take a parenting class, the film may be available. If it is, it kind of helps to explain certain suggestions. I highly recommend this book to all of my parents as well as Mommy-CEO by Jodie Lynn. Both authors have, and make, excellent points and are worth their weight in gold. Both books make awesome gifts for baby showers, birthdays and holidays. As a teacher, I am extremely picky in my books -- not bragging -- just stating a fact. I truly enjoy this book.

0 out of 1 people found this review helpful.
Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.

If you find inappropriate content, please report it to Barnes & Noble

How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk (30th Anniversary Edition)

Pick Up in Store

Available on NOOK devices and apps

All Available Formats + Editions

Customers Who Bought This Also Bought

More About This Book

Overview

Related Subjects

Editorial Reviews

Tracy Grant

Product Details

Meet the Author

Read an Excerpt

Customer Reviews

Rating Distribution

5 Star

4 Star

3 Star

2 Star

1 Star

Your Rating:

Your Recommendations:

Barnes & Noble.com Review Rules

Reviews by Our Customers Under the Age of 13

What to exclude from your review:

Reviews should not contain any of the following:

Reminder:

Recommend other products that relate to your review. Just search for them below and share!

A useful book to improve communication with kids

Love the Book!

Wonderful Examples of Better Communication with Children

Every Parent and Teacher Should Read This Book

A great read for Parents

Communication techniques that really work.

Wow - it's great!

Lifesaver

Who cares?

This Is Handbook That Every Parent Asks For!

Every parent should have this book!

Excellent book

Must Read

So Good I've Bought it Twice

Good book? Are you kidding me?

My Parenting and Teaching Bible

Wonderful parenting/life skills guide!

Still the best book for parents.

not just for parents

Read So You Will Understand