How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk (20th Anniversary Edition)

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You Can Stop Fighting With Your Chidren!

Here is the bestselling book that will give you the know–how you need to be more effective with your children and more supportive of yourself. Enthusiastically praised by parents and professionals around the world, the down–to–earth, respectful approach of Faber and Mazlish makes relationships with children of all ages less stressful and more rewarding.

Their methods of communication, illustrated with ...

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How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk (30th Anniversary Edition)

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Overview

You Can Stop Fighting With Your Chidren!

Here is the bestselling book that will give you the know–how you need to be more effective with your children and more supportive of yourself. Enthusiastically praised by parents and professionals around the world, the down–to–earth, respectful approach of Faber and Mazlish makes relationships with children of all ages less stressful and more rewarding.

Their methods of communication, illustrated with delightful cartoons showing the skills in action, offer innovative ways to solve common problems.

Read More Show Less

Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9780380811960
  • Publisher: HarperCollins Publishers
  • Publication date: 10/28/1999
  • Edition description: 20th Anniversary Edition
  • Edition number: 20
  • Pages: 304
  • Product dimensions: 5.42 (w) x 8.10 (h) x 0.75 (d)

Meet the Author

Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish are internationally acclaimed, award-winning experts on adult-child communication. Both lecture nationwide, and their group workshop programs are used by thousands of groups throughout the world to improve communication between children and adults.

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Customer Reviews

Average Rating 4.5
( 53 )
Rating Distribution

5 Star

(34)

4 Star

(7)

3 Star

(7)

2 Star

(2)

1 Star

(3)

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See All Sort by: Showing 1 – 20 of 53 Customer Reviews
  • Posted July 1, 2009

    A useful book to improve communication with kids

    This book was actually suggested for my son who is a Special Needs Child to improve communication with him. But this book has made me to improve my communication with my daughter who is 9 years old. A very good book which I would suggest to be read by every parent.

    3 out of 3 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted January 8, 2006

    Wonderful Examples of Better Communication with Children

    This classic book clearly explains the difference between positive discipline and punishment. The authors feel that punishment usually does not serve to change the child's behavior and they give many positive alternatives that often work better. I found their many specific examples in simple cartoon form as well as in the text to be extremely helpful giving me the exact words to try with my 2 children, aged 3 and 8. The true to life anecdotes are the best part of this book and they refer to challenging situations with children of all ages, like sibling rivalry, tuning us out, homework, disrespectful attitude, chores, backtalk, tantrums, etc. If you have a toddler like me, I also recommend 'The Pocket Parent' written in a bulleted A-Z format for parents with a 2, 3, 4, or 5 year old. This book has similar, specific anecdotes for toddlers that whine, bite, refuse to eat or go to bed, lie, hit, etc. We refer to both books again and again to get options to try as situations arise...Practical, very parent-friendly and resonably priced guidance equally appropriate for both moms and dads.

    3 out of 3 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted January 18, 2013

    I don't understand how this book gets any positive reviews. The

    I don't understand how this book gets any positive reviews. The suggestions range from obvious to unrealistic or are just plain old bad advice. I'm sorry, it is ground-breaking to some parents to not call your child an idiot and not tell them they don't do anything right? Or take another example: a mother leaves her child behind on a shopping trip because he misbehaved on the last trip. The mother calmly confirms that the child cannot come because of the prior behavior. The child apologizes and asks for another chance, at which point the mother refuses and says there will be other times. End scene. Um yeah, in reality I can guarantee a meltdown, tantrum or AT LEAST a protest would follow the mother continuing to refuse. The book is chock-full of these unrealistic scenarios and even admits to this issue. Another example is of a child who consistently comes home late. The mother praises him for trying to be on time and running home when he realized he was late, but tells him she worries when he is late and there is no dinner left for him. Shocker that the kid returns to old habits and continues to be late. So what does the book recommend? Sit down and compromise. The solution: Mom moves dinner back 15 mins so the kid can come home later and offers to leave his dinner in the oven sometimes if he is going to be out later. Oh, okay. So for misbehaving and being irresponsible, you reward your kid? Awesome advice, now everything is up for compromise I bet. This book is seriously the biggest waste of paper, I tried to read the entire thing, but just couldn't force myself. I honestly have a very hard time not judging parents who need the type of advice this book provides. Dont' waste your money.

    2 out of 3 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted May 28, 2010

    I Also Recommend:

    This Is Handbook That Every Parent Asks For!

    Raising a child can be tough in this day and age. What children never come with is a handbook. This book is about as close to a "handbook" that every parent wish for. If your child is one day to twenty-one pick it up.

    For anyone who feels bound by their anger, guilt, hurt or pain, I also recommend "When God Stopped Keeping Score." I thought that the book was just about forgiveness, I soon learned, it was about so much more than that. I was about how you should deal with friends, family and yourself and more importantly, how to keep these relationships strong when things go wrong. As a parent, I have learned raising children will bring unearth a lot of the emotions you felt in childhood.

    Having read it, I feel like a better person. Maybe because this book spoke to me and not down to me. I have read a lot of books that was written like I didn't know anything. What the author of "When God Stopped Keeping Score" does is talk to you like a friend. I needed that. You will understand why when you read it.

    2 out of 3 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted April 20, 2009

    more from this reviewer

    Love the Book!

    I have purchased this book for friends and family. I totally recommend this book for those who have kids/children.

    2 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted September 3, 2007

    Good book? Are you kidding me?

    I am literally shocked that anyone could read this book and find it even somewhat useful. If my goal were to raise children who were in complete control of every situation they may ever find themselves in, to turn bad behavior into a joke favoring my child, or to just plain act like I'm a clueless pushover, I might recommend this book. Instead, read Setting Limits if you are interested in being respectful yet firm, allowing your child to bask in their self esteem while learning the world has consequences for our actions.

    2 out of 3 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted February 25, 2000

    Lifesaver

    As a child and adolescent Psychiatrist, I believe this book helps parents obtain a level of success and peace of mind that no other parenting book can provide. It is easy to understand and it works. But watch out! The book will require you to be an active participant in your child's life and learn to see them with respect and joy.

    2 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted May 5, 2010

    Every parent should have this book!

    When our kids are younger, we read magazines and books on their upbringing. But as they reach the "difficult" years we tend to rely on friends' strategies to guide us along. This book is a great resource for the those years! It's kinda like a workbook with different scenarios for all situations you encounter as a parent of teens and tweens. It's really amazing as you read the book how many situations you can apply to your family. It seems the author was studying my family before he wrote the book!

    It's very easy to read and the information can be applied immediately. I can see my attitude change as well as the attitudes of my kids. It's great!!

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted May 5, 2010

    I Also Recommend:

    Excellent book

    I used this book when my now thirty-something children were little. I also recommended it to parents throughout my teaching career because it describes the "active listening" technique in an easy to remember way and has illustrations of the main points to aid remembering them. I bought the latest version for my daughter when my granddaughter was little and it was very helpful to her. I required a teacher-intern who was having difficulty relating to her students to buy the book and bought the latest copy to be able to discuss it page by page with her. I think that the authors have a great book for many uses. The techniques described also work with spouses and co-workers and in any social situation. Active listening helps you be a more genuine person to your children and not only "works" as a discipline technique, but also helps you have a genuine, loving, and cooperative relationship with them.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted April 30, 2009

    more from this reviewer

    Every Parent and Teacher Should Read This Book

    This book is a must read for every parent, every teacher, and anyone who works with children. This book was recommended to me by my son's Speech Pathologist. Since I have a slight hearing problem - I tend to speak loudly. This book as helped me to lower the volume of my speech. It has also given me the tools to choose my words differently which has yielded more patience in dealing with my special needs child.

    I highly recommend this book for every parent, but it is especially helpful for parents with kids that have sensory issues. Anyone with a sensory child knows how challenging it can be to teach their child to be aware of other people and things. This book is a great tool.

    I think anyone who gives this book a negative review is actually looking for a book on how to punish their children and not a book on speaking and listening respectfully.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted March 30, 2009

    A great read for Parents

    Practical insight into both sides of communication.
    No matter your age the parents are just "old" to a child.
    Listening and being heard are difficult traits that most
    people need to refresh on. Read this book and be a better
    parent and person!

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted February 17, 2009

    I Also Recommend:

    Communication techniques that really work.

    This book should be required reading for all those who are parents or who hope to be--as well as teachers and others who interact with children. The guidlines for communicating effectively based on love, mutual respect, preacticality and reason can be used with adults as well. This book takes theories of "tough love" and "natural consequences" to a user friendly level. Eliminating power struggles and heated arguments that go nowhere is facilitated by understanding the premise of Faber and Mazlish' work. And I find that using their methods actually builds respect, accountability and ease of communication on many levels.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted March 25, 2007

    My Parenting and Teaching Bible

    As a preschool teacher and director for the past sixteen years, mother of three, grandmother of three and aunt of 22, I can tell you that the 'tricks' in this book saved many hours of frustration. I am thrilled that the message here is to treat children with respect and to speak with respect. I have recommended this easy-to-read book to parents for the twenty years that I've used it. I wish I could give it 10 stars!

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted December 7, 2006

    Wonderful parenting/life skills guide!

    I have used this book for over 20 years! The key to learning to use this book is to take 'baby steps' doing one technique at a time so you don't get overwhelmed and neither do your kids. I first took a class on parenting that used this book when my now 23 year old son was 2 years old and being very oppositional(he is now in law school)! I have gone back to it many, many times. I have found it very helpful in getting my kids to talk when I know something is bothering them (even now at ages 23 and nearly 18), and also the techniques help to keep the lines of communication open when they are telling me about a problem they are having (even when I really want to say--but don't--'why did you do something so dumb!' ha). I recommend it to parents all the time. It also helps you to talk with adults, especially your spouse!

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted May 1, 2000

    Wow - it's great!

    This is one of the best books I've ever read on getting kids to open up and communicate, especially for the child of two to six. It will make a big diference in your life.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted August 27, 2014

    Highly recommended

    Great book for new parents

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  • Anonymous

    Posted April 21, 2014

    Love this book, making it required reading for kiddo's Dad, Gran

    Love this book, making it required reading for kiddo's Dad, Grandparents and all major care givers to help create a consistent environment after an awful experience with a school having an opposite approach. 
    I needed this book to help me create a solution plan that creates a healthy situation for adults and kids.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted December 28, 2013

    Highly recommend!

    Every one that has children should read this book! It may just change your life for the better of everyone that has contact with you.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted May 15, 2013

    Great book for parents of any type of child

    Great book that has practical advice that you can start using immediately. Great examples of how to apply method. Wonderful for all parents, not just those having difficulties with their children. Respectful parenting that works!

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted March 9, 2013

    Nicilethoms@hotmail.com

    Um ok but anyone add meh

    0 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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