I Am Ace: Advice on Living Your Best Asexual Life

by Cody Daigle-Orians

Overview

How do I know if I'm actually sexual?
How do I come out as asexual?
What kinds of relationship can I have as an ace person?
If you are looking for answers to these questions, Cody is here to help. Within these pages lie all the advice you need as a questioning ace teen.
Tackling everything from what asexuality is, the asexual spectrum and tips on coming out, to intimacy, relationships, acephobia and finding joy, this guide will help you better understand your asexual identity alongside deeply relatable anecdotes drawn from Cody's personal experience.
Whether you are ace, demi, gray-ace or not sure yet, this book will give you the courage and confidence to embrace your authentic self and live your best ace life.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781839972621
Publisher:	Jessica Kingsley Publishers
Publication date:	02/21/2023
Pages:	192
Sales rank:	234,292
Product dimensions:	5.40(w) x 8.40(h) x 0.10(d)
Age Range:	12 - 18 Years

About the Author

Cody Daigle-Orians (they/them) is a writer and asexuality educator living in Columbus, Ohio. They are the creator of Ace Dad Advice, a social media-based asexuality education project designed to support people exploring asexuality. They are the author of I Am Ace, and a contributor to the 2024 Lambda Literary Award nominated anthology Being Ace. They were nominated for a 2023 British LGBTQ Award for Online Influencer and were named a 2024 Lambda Literary Fellow. They are queer, ace, and agender.

Table of Contents

Introduction 9

Part I Asexuality and You

Chapter 1 What Is Asexuality? Understanding Orientation 15

Chapter 2 What Is Asexuality? Understanding Attraction 26

Chapter 3 What Kind of Asexual Am I? 38

Chapter 4 But Am I Really Asexual? 55

Part II Asexuality and Others

Chapter 5 How Do I Come Out as Asexual? 73

Chapter 6 How Do I Deal with Microaggressions? 89

Chapter 7 Asexuality and Relationships: Can I Have Them and What Kind Can I Have? 106

Chapter 8 Asexuality and Relationships: Negotiating Intimacy with Your Partner 127

Part III Asexuality and the World

Chapter 9 Asexuality and the Queer Community 145

Chapter 10 Ace in the World 157

Chapter 11 Finding Your Ace Joy 171

One Last Thing… 181

Additional Resources 183

Index 188

Editorial Reviews

10/03/2022

Daigle-Orians (18 Victoria), whose “Ace Dad Advice” project raises visibility of asexuality on social media, delivers a thorough primer on asexuality. The author discusses the basics of asexuality and tells his story of coming out, recounting his inability to describe his sexuality while growing up and coming out as gay as a young adult, and later as asexual after learning about the term on Tumblr. He suggests that having language to describe one’s sexuality can make it easier to build community around those labels, and to that end he explores such “umbrella labels” on the asexual spectrum as “graysexual” (people who rarely experience sexual attraction) and breaks down such smaller “microlabels” as “apothisexual” (people who find sex repulsive). Noting that one can have romance without sex, he outlines alternative relationship models—including consensual nonmonogamy and polyamory—often sought out by asexual people. Daigle-Orians’s frequent use of question-and-answer format (“What if I call myself asexual and find out I’m wrong?”; “When should I tell someone I’m interested in I’m asexual?”) feels like receiving guidance from a compassionate mentor, and readers will appreciate his no-frills, conversational style. This is a welcome addition to the growing literature on asexuality. (Jan.)

Publishers Weekly

Empowering and engagingly written, I Am Ace cuts through the madness and chaos of being an asexual person just discovering yourself. With generosity and enthusiasm, not to mention clear-eyed insights about the nature of sexuality and social norms, Cody Daigle-Orians invites readers not to be afraid of uncertainty, change and deep self-reflection. I can already tell this book is going to help so many people, and I just want to get it into the hands of baby aces everywhere, immediately!

author of They/Them/Theirs Eris Young

the most in-depth and most validating, affirming book for any asexual to read

Netgalley Reviewer

Written like a letter from an old friend, I Am Ace takes the reader on a journey towards confidence in discussing and proudly owning their asexuality. Both educational and conversational, Daigle-Orians has completed a guide on self discovery and understanding that simplifies a complex topic and that will benefit allos, aces, and everyone in between.

Elle Rose

I Am Ace is the loving introduction to the ace community we wish we had when we were younger. Whether you're questioning your sexuality or just curious to learn more about asexuality, Cody's personal stories and comforting advice will guide you to a greater understanding of yourself and the world around you.

Sarah Costello and Kayla Kaszyca

Cody paints a wonderful picture of the struggles of coming to terms with one's own asexuality. I related greatly to the idea of not even having words for this stuff when I was in high school. You don't have to feel broken and you certainly don't have to feel confused! This book is an absolutely wonderful resource for understanding what doesn't get talked about anywhere near enough.

Mikey Neumann

12/09/2022

Having started the Instagram and YouTube Channel "Ace Dad Advice," Daigle-Orians is well-versed in explaining the concepts of asexuality for those who may be unfamiliar or questioning. The book begins with a solid foundation of information about labeling one's sexuality; this section is presented with a comforting, thoughtful tone that will remind readers how complicated exploring one's sexuality can be. He divides asexuality into a variety of categories that are meant to educate everyone regardless of their familiarity, and his experience of being married and asexual provides a unique lens through which to view one's sexuality. The clear definitions, personal experiences, and teaching moments throughout the book are invaluable to people who already identify as asexual, may be questioning, or those who want to be an ally. The best thing the author does is affirm that asexuality is just another human experience, something that anyone will find empowering and uplifting. VERDICT The message of this book is something to be celebrated and will undoubtedly resonate with those who identify as asexual or know someone who does.

Library Journal