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How many times have you been told that you are born in this world for a purpose? Of course you do get this remark a lot of times. But still the question remains, "What is your purpose?" and "Why are you here?" I know many of you went out of your way at one time or another to do something important or special for someone. Maybe it was a friend or even a family member. Regardless who we may have helped we are still here to serve a purpose. I believe that you will agree with me at this point. At times our life experiences make us want to stop doing when you feel like what you do is not good enough, when you are mistreated by the person or people you helped. It will make you say "Why am I here?" But the society that we live in today warrants us with so many problems that are difficult to deal with, but still we must realize that once your purpose had been identified, the next step is to refuse to be intimidated by no one in this world unless it is fearing God. Remember there is a saying that goes "You reap what you sew" Continue to keep in mind that your purpose will be accomplished regardless of what you are going through, that I am going to be steadfast unmovable and stand to accomplish my purpose for been here. Once you notice have been issue out to whatever negativities that you are facing jealousy, liar, thieves, backstabbers, to sum it all up with one word HATERS. Now that you have an idea why you are here with so many issues, let's prepare ourselves to win the war by having the right tools physically, mentally but most of all spiritually. I know that I can't change people, but I can help change my own situation. Are you ready to move on and with some more battles that you know you have a purpose? I will end this chapter with this message:
'Standing strong be encouraged, never give up, stay determined that I will not be defeated by the adversaries of this world, but victorious continue to become an over comer.'
My own experience of trying to please others without considering my personal feelings, at times become very painful mentally as well emotionally. I learned that you can become your biggest distraction depending on the situation. I wouldn't admit how bad it hurts at first. Especially as I get older, and when I think back about my childhood and see how swiftly time have passed. I catch myself listening and helping other individuals with their problem while I ignore mine. How do you feel about those people that after you've done something and went out your way to help them and when things don't go the way she or he wants them to the bagged is brought to you the other person gets upset and will start calling names, abusing you verbally, physically or both depending on the conversation things may get heated up.
Now remember, word does hurt. It came to a point that I said to myself "never again," but still, I went against my own words and guess what? You guessed it right. I went right back to doing what I said I wouldn't do again, because I'm not at peace. Holding back that strong emotion, holding back how you really feel so that you don't explode. Because you have not let these negative thoughts leave your mind. Now you must stop, think and figure out how I find peace within myself. Yes we find different method to find peace, to sometime find out that our problem continuously repeat itself over and over again. Then something crosses your mind that you realize who all do your problem effect? Like your child or children, their school, home, someone job, or everybody period. Where is your wakeup call that made you realize to block certain things out of your life? Even though you don't forget all that has happen, there are other ways to substitute your mind for peace. As for me besides my job I go back to school taking up course in medical assistance maintain my grade with a four point zero (4.0) and stay into my studies since I already have my certification in culinary arts (professional cooking) I have other ways of thinking to keep a peace of mind and that is the future of my children hopefully that I will own a multicultural restaurant and a youth training in food service treat customers with different health illnesses. That will also allow youth to receive school credit hours. This type of mind of peace also helps me not only to think about the future of my children but also my only sibling that is young and still in school. The new mind of transition from a negative task to a positive enabled me the strength to help stay more focus to what life has to offer with the support of certain people like parents, best friends, pastor, church, teacher staff &administrators with spiritual guidance have kept me with a peace of mind. We all can have it how bad do you want it, certain things out of your life
To you I know that a dime may seem like a small amount to pay, but it does pay off in a big way. Let me take you back to about twenty something years ago I am remember by a high school coach a of cross country running team who was practicing after school during the evening on the running track. The team were practicing for a running event that they had coming up within that same week against other teams. This team was also preparing to qualify into a conference rank for a team big national race. At this time the coach did not like what he saw in this team, so the coach told the team to stop running and form a circle were our coach had us to meet at on the track. It wants a pretty look on his face. He saw the potential that we had as a team, but saw us not trying to apply ourselves. So he asked us this question as we received our prep talk. The question was what it costs us as a team to qualify as a team. The coach replied to the team all it cost you is a DIME. I know you may be thinking, 'what you mean by that?' Well here it is. D is for dedication, you must be dedicated to the things you enjoy doing. I is for Interest. You must show interest into applying yourself at all times. M is for motivation. Stay motivated to keep your focus as a winning team and E is for effort, making effort to never give up until you cross the finish line. This lecture pays off big for all of us at that time to qualify for the conference, and showed us individually that a dime does have a big cost. What is it? Here it is in case you want to know again.
Dedicated Interest Motivated Effort
Now are you ready to pay your dime and are you ready for your team to win the race? You apply this yourself.
The preparations of the heart in man and the answer from the tongue, is from the Lord. All of the ways of man are clean in his own eyes, but the Lord weighs the spirit. Commit thy works into the Lord and thy thoughts shall be established. Hand join in hand, he shall not be unpunished. By mercy and truth iniquity is purged: and by the fear of the Lord men depart from evil. When man ways please the Lord He makes even his enemies to be at peace with him. Better is a little with righteousness than great revenues without right. A man's heart devises his way: but the Lord directs his steps. [Proverbs 16:1-9] What you can learn from this is being prepared to go through because what you're going through can causes you with blessing of overflows even when you don't see eye to eye with someone else. See when you commit yourself to the Lord. You don't have time to hate or do evil for evil. Yes we all get upset. But because God is the head of our life, the strength our joy, this why we don't has to stand in fear or worry what, going to happen to us. Who do you have trust in when you fall short? Just stay trusting in the Lord and continuing to pray for one another. If God is for us who can stand against us let nothing separate you from his love. You can be comfort. When you angry pray to him cry to him and he will be there for you. Finally say this to yourself when everyone else sees the worst in me He [God] only sees me for who I am, He [God] doesn't judge me for what I've done, because He sees the best in me.
There is a lesson to learn for everything that we go through, it doesn't matter what it is. We often turn to making bad decision and want to blame others for our mistakes or let me say bad choices some of these bad choices that we make are being involve with alcohol a shooting dope, sex [prostitution] and much more. Now you feel like the world owes you something, because life isn't fair to you. In your mind I don't know what to do. I have too many people on my back trying to tell me how I need to live my life. But, is their something wrong for having a caring heart when they already experience more in this life than us and witness things that we haven't? When you turn on your television and you find out somebody you know were robbed and killed over five dollar, or a child, a little girl or little boy was playing in their own yard was hit in the head and killed by a stray bullet that was meant for someone else. Now someone is trying to help you, but oh know you are ready to start using profanity fight yell and scream still what have you solve. Have you tried to stop to examine your own life on how you are living your life and if so, have you asked yourself am I really satisfied with my lifestyle? If not what areas in my life do I need to improve on or to better at, before you start criticizing somebody else wrong doings? Knowing that you are only hurting yourself. You must get set into your mind that I am tired of being tired in other words; I don't want to live the way that I am living any more. No therapy, medication, church, or any other spiritual guidance will be able to help you until you are ready to help yourself. First you stop being in denial admit that you have a problem now if you're getting this message say to yourself I am ready for my change. Okay let's begin to remember I stated earlier your problem will still exist until you are ready to make the transition in other words change in you. Next is to find the resources where you can go and get help with. Now it's time for the research to begin. How do you know when the change is in you? This is how. When your determination becomes your denominator to dominate any situation that you face with, having spiritual resource is the best resource. It energizes me prepare for my obstacles that I sometimes has to face. The mastering change in you happen when you know that your past is always going to be thrown up in your face, but when it no longer affects you to react negatively with your old habits, then you know that you are progressing and part of your goal is achieved.
It will now allow you to witness to help others who is now going through what you has overcome to help the next individual, and take a look back to understand why your situation is meant to happen this way.
Hello everyone welcome to a place where you don't has to be a stranger there's help all over this place. There's no right or wrong answer just don't be stupid to the question you hold back that can be answered. And to let you know mother is here in the building to make sure no one don't get out of line. Does everyone have their working tools there's no excuses we don't accept them in this department. Now everyone take out your working material because the boss is ready to give instruction are you ready. In this place you can express your needs, concern and personal matter it is safe because the boss' love this the best because the job is ensure of getting done the boss don't have to look over her back. Why? Yes you said because mother keeps everyone in order she is well respected. When it's time for reports, our shift looks for nothing but an excellent report again because of mother. Now it's time to go on break, going for lunch. Mother makes sure everyone is okay later there seem to be a dispute, guess who stepped in? Somebody says mother, well you're right. Because another employ don't like some of our crew mother lets everyone that they has job to do and refuse to allow her crew get fire over something petty. Everything calm down and everyone is back to work mother lecture her crew once our shift has ended for today we all break down our machine and prepare for another day everyone is at peace because mother know about how to keep everything in order with no confusing at the end of the day everyone is happy. Now do you see while you are welcome in this place because we all have six month before retirement.
It's time to start our shift. Everyone has taken their materials that is needed the boss has
CH7[ Healthy Communication for a Healthy Relationship
We all use communication in many ways, so let's get ready for a very exciting lesson that we all can learn to better ourselves. First communication start with you the first technique that I would like to start with is finding the right time to talk: Since communication start with you first finding the right time regardless if it dealing with you, a mate or family choosing the right time to talk is very important So that everyone who is involve is calm, stress free, and not distracted. This is the first way of resolving issues through communication, or a healthy relationship. Now let's take a look at the second techniques.
Try to put yourself in the other person place. It is very easy to blame each other when you want to get your point across. Again remember the first part of communication. By putting yourself in the other person place allow both individual to try and understand each other issues without one trying to prove the other person wrong. This technique is for you to be a solution to the problem instead of adding to the problem. Now let's take a look at the third technique. Help each other stay motivated. Hopefully so far I hope that you are learning to become a better communicator. This third technique of communication is something that affects you in a positive way and helps keep you going. You with goals set for yourself, mate, or family by both coming to an agreement that will help you accomplish your goal or goals. The next four techniques will be discussed in the next chapter. ]CH7
CH8[ Healthy Communication for a Healthy Relationship (Continuation)
Hopefully these techniques on healthy communication for healthy relationship are being helpful for you as you take a look at some of your own issues today. I am sure by you applying yourself to use these techniques will help make a difference for your situation.
Now let's take a look at technique number four, Staying reminded of yourself.
Staying reminded of yourself: Remember never to hold anything that you are feeling it's very important to lay everything out on the table to express what is on your mind to whomever the issues of the matter to whom it contains to. Be expressive, or put spoken without causing a conflict but be honest to yourself. This is the most important person that matter out of the whole equation.
Now it's time for technique number five let's see what it is.
Active Listener: This next technique is a main problem that majority of us have, what do you think it is? Still thinking, well let's just let it be known. Our main problem is we just need to shut up. Say it with me, Shut up! Majority of the time we are so interesting in just trying to get our point across by just trying to prove how the other person was wrong instead of trying to understand that's not always the case sometimes to be an active listener never interrupt, give advice, or try to make the other person look or feel bad. The individual that is doing the speaking or being spoke to let them have the spotlight by just not saying nothing. What does that mean again? Just Shut Up! It doesn't mean that you always done something wrong sometime a person just want you to listen, or the other way around. It's another way of saying just want to be heard. This is the importance of being active listener. I believe that majority of us can agree.
Excerpted from I Am Conditioned To Go Through by Timothy Smith Sr. Copyright © 2011 by Timothy Smith Sr.. Excerpted by permission of Trafford Publishing. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
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Posted July 21, 2011
Posted July 16, 2011
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