I Ate All Your Cookies: (and Other Things You Wish You Could Tell Your Kids)

Overview

Finally, a hilarious book of things you'd love to say to your kids, but can't. Things like, "Santa isn't real. I'm the idiot who stayed up all night putting together that bike" or "When you twirl around and say, 'are you watching?' the answer is usually 'no.'" You might not actually tell Junior that his finger paintings are awful, but you CAN laugh along with this book, knowing that you're not alone with these thoughts. I Ate All Your Cookies ...

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Overview

Finally, a hilarious book of things you'd love to say to your kids, but can't. Things like, "Santa isn't real. I'm the idiot who stayed up all night putting together that bike" or "When you twirl around and say, 'are you watching?' the answer is usually 'no.'" You might not actually tell Junior that his finger paintings are awful, but you CAN laugh along with this book, knowing that you're not alone with these thoughts. I Ate All Your Cookies is the perfect laugh therapy for any parent!

Laugh along as you read the thoughts you've always wanted to say:

•The fact that you eat glue makes me wonder if you're really as smart as I tell other people you are.
•I lied. The cookies aren't all gone. I'm going to eat them when you're asleep. And they're going to be delicious.
•I love you, but no, I don't really think you're going to be an astronaut.

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Editorial Reviews

From the Publisher
"I got a kick out of the book. It's a short and easy read, and would make a good gift for anyone who appreciates the fact that motherhood isn't always perfect." - Motherhood Moment
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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9781402271489
  • Publisher: Sourcebooks, Incorporated
  • Publication date: 10/1/2012
  • Pages: 208
  • Sales rank: 790,648
  • Product dimensions: 5.12 (w) x 6.84 (h) x 0.55 (d)

Read an Excerpt

Introduction

Sure, we love kids. They're cute. (Ahem, most of the time.) They have little chubby faces that beg to be smooshed. Or cleaned. It really all depends on the day. So yes, obviously we love them—we have wiped their butts after all, come on. But that doesn't mean we don't sometimes wish they were just a little smarter...or at least pretended to be smarter in public. Okay, maybe once in a while we think about admitting to them that we eat all the good stuff when they're asleep, just to see the pissed-off look on their face. Or we dream about telling them that we are the ones who filled their stockings with all that awesome stuff—so cool it on the whole "Santa rules" thing, because really, Santa sucks.

Of course we have these thoughts. And that's what I Ate All Your Cookies is all about. Laugh along with all the hilarious things you've ever wanted to say—but never will—to these relentless child overlords. What could be better therapy than laughing at them, all without their knowledge?

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