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I Do but I Don't: Walking Down the Aisle Without Losing Your Mind

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Why is the stereotypical image of the bride before her wedding day that of a stressed, moody, indecisive, and frustrated woman cracking under pressure and snapping at everyone in sight? Why does being a bride feel like going through a second adolescence? And why, with the rate of couples seeking counseling for wedding-related debt doubling from year to year, do we continue to spend absurd amounts of money on this institution? Examining how the pressure to give into the crowd (mothers, mothers-in-law, caterers, ...

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Cambridge, MA 2006 Hard Cover First Edition/1st Printing New in New jacket 8vo-over 7?"-9?" tall. Clean tight and bright, no marks in like unclipped dj. Orders received by noon ... ship the same day. Read more Show Less

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Sandwiched between feminist ideals and the allure of the traditional wedding, a modern woman's look at what it means to be a bride . Why is the stereotypical image of the bride ... before her wedding day that of a stressed, moody, indecisive, and frustrated woman cracking under pressure and snapping at everyone in sight? Why does being a bride feel like going through a second adolescence? And why, with the rate of couples seeking counseling for wedding-related debt doubling from year to year, do we continue to spend absurd amounts of money on this institution? Examining how the pressure to give into the crowd (mothers, mothers-in-law, caterers, dressmakers, bridesmaids, the groom himself) and the associated traditions (wearing white, being given away, being introduced as Mr. and Mrs. Groom) is sometimes at odds with the "progress" the bride and groom may have made on these issues in private, Kamy Wicoff answers these questions and more in this sure-to-be-talked-about look at the modern bride. Through poignant and funny personal experience, eye-opening conversations with other brides, and scholarly and popular research, she strives to find both the personal and cultural meaning of all the trappings and traditions-from the proposal to the ring, to the dress, and even the bachelorette party. Her insights will blow the roof off the proverbial wedding tent. Her passionate argument for conscious marriage will ring true to the thousands of women planning weddings every day. To keep our sanity, our integrity, and our relationships intact, Wicoff says, "the way we marry matters." A wedding day-the transition between what you once were and what you are after saying "I do"-signifies a tremendous change in two people's lives. Salon com contributor Wicoff, a married mother of one, calls for couples to take charge of the marriage process by assessing the choices available to them as individuals instead of allowing society to dictate the rules. Couples, she writes, need to set a "premium on authenticity and communication rather tha Read more Show Less

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Overview

Why is the stereotypical image of the bride before her wedding day that of a stressed, moody, indecisive, and frustrated woman cracking under pressure and snapping at everyone in sight? Why does being a bride feel like going through a second adolescence? And why, with the rate of couples seeking counseling for wedding-related debt doubling from year to year, do we continue to spend absurd amounts of money on this institution? Examining how the pressure to give into the crowd (mothers, mothers-in-law, caterers, dressmakers, bridesmaids, the groom himself) and the associated traditions (wearing white, being given away, being introduced as Mr. and Mrs. Groom) is sometimes at odds with the "progress" the bride and groom may have made on these issues in private, Kamy Wicoff answers these questions and more in this sure-to-be-talked-about look at the modern bride. Through poignant and funny personal experience, eye-opening conversations with other brides, and scholarly and popular research, she strives to find both the personal and cultural meaning of all the trappings and traditions-from the proposal to the ring, to the dress, and even the bachelorette party. Her insights will blow the roof off the proverbial wedding tent. Her passionate argument for conscious marriage will ring true to the thousands of women planning weddings every day. To keep our sanity, our integrity, and our relationships intact, Wicoff says, "the way we marry matters."

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Editorial Reviews

Curled Up With a Good Book
Fun and captivating. Wicoff has a wonderful sense of humor, and the book is fast-paced and easy to read.
Library Journal
A wedding day-the transition between what you once were and what you are after saying "I do"-signifies a tremendous change in two people's lives. Salon.com contributor Wicoff, a married mother of one, calls for couples to take charge of the marriage process by assessing the choices available to them as individuals instead of allowing society to dictate the rules. Couples, she writes, need to set a "premium on authenticity and communication rather than on conformity and chic gift bags." Wicoff teaches others how to achieve this by sharing her own wedding experiences, some of which were successes, others of which were dismal failures. Readers will learn from her mistakes as she struggles to decide how much money she should spend on a dress and how big is too big when picking an engagement ring. Wicoff's efforts to make her wedding journey about two people spending their lives together will comfort readers with the knowledge that they are not alone in their own journey. Suitable for all public libraries.-Mary E. Jones, Los Angeles P.L. Copyright 2006 Reed Business Information.
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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9780738210124
  • Publisher: Da Capo Press
  • Publication date: 6/28/2006
  • Pages: 320
  • Product dimensions: 6.34 (w) x 9.06 (h) x 1.12 (d)

Meet the Author

A contributor to Salon.com, Kamy Wicoff lives in New York City. She and her husband have two children.

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