- Shopping Bag ( 0 items )
Twenty-one-year-old Caitlin starts a new diary to record her experiences when she becomes engaged and has to struggle to remember to focus on God, her friends, and her senior year in college as her head swims with wedding plans.
My life changed today. It's as if I got up this morning as one person and will go to bed as someone else. Okay, maybe it's not as drastic as all that. But believe me, things are definitely different now. Excitingly different even. I'm not sure that I'll ever be able to go to sleep tonight. And ironically, here I am in my old bedroom in my parents' home, the very same place I was when I began writing in my very first diary almost five years ago.
And as a result of what happened today, I think it's time to break out a brand-new diary. Okay, this one isn't exactly "brand-new," since it's actually one that I've been saving for quite a while. It's a rather ordinary looking diary (really, more like a journal), but my friend Josh Miller gave it to me on my nineteenth birthday, just a couple of years ago. I thought it was sweet of him at the time, but I was also right in the middle of writing in another diary, so I tucked this special leather-bound book into my top bureau drawer-to save for another time.
Another time has come, and that time is now because: Josh Miller asked me to marry him tonight!
Okay, okay, let's start back at the beginning of this incredibly romantic day. I'd come home fromcollege this weekend to attend a wedding. Two friends of mine were getting hitched-Willy Johnson (the manager of the incredible rock band Redemption) and Elise Curtis (mother of Redemption drummer Allie Curtis). I replaced Elise, last summer, when I traveled as a chaperone for Redemption. And as a result, these three gifted girls feel like family to me. Especially Chloe Miller, who will become my sister-in-law sometime next year. Wow, it's still sinking in! God is so amazing!
The Johnson-Curtis wedding was absolutely beautiful. Oh, it was nothing lavish or fancy or over the top. And only about a hundred guests were there. But the ceremony felt very real to me, and the love between Willy and Elise was written all over their happy faces. I actually cried-it was that sweet.
Chloe, Allie, and Laura were bridesmaids, all wearing the most gorgeous gowns designed by none other than my old best friend Beanie Jacobs. The dresses were autumnal colors with lots of beadwork and lace, but not a bit frilly. Just really elegant and classy and like something you'd see in a movie. Beanie's majoring in textile design now and is rumored to have the kind of talent that will take her places. I'm so proud of her!
All right, I will admit that I had a brief fantasy during this particular wedding ceremony. I mean, what girl doesn't dream about her own wedding day? Especially when you hear those familiar notes of "The Wedding March" starting to play! Dum, dum, da-dum. I'm sure I've been humming that tune since I was a little girl putting my mom's old white negligee over my head like a wedding veil. And okay, I did wonder how I would feel to be the one standing up there in a scrumptious white gown and repeating my vows to ... well, I even had a particular guy in mind.
In fact, that guy was actually one of the groomsmen standing up there with Willy and looking totally awesome in his dark brown rented tux with velvet lapels. It was in that exact same moment that I realized Josh was actually staring back at me. It seemed as if our eyes locked for about five minutes, although I'm sure it was only a few seconds before I looked away. Maybe that's what made me cry.
I suppose I was sort of embarrassed to be caught gaping at the same guy I have consistently pushed away over the years. It's hard to believe that it all started back in high school, when he was a senior and I was a junior. But then our relationship went sideways, and it was time to break up.
Oh, we're friends now. And better friends than we've ever been before. We've even had a few talks that made me wonder ... but then I always remember how many times I made it perfectly clear to Josh (especially back during my first year of college when he says I broke his heart) that I couldn't be serious with him.
Not that I wouldn't have liked being serious with Josh. I mean, all you have to do is to read my other diaries to know that this guy totally gets to me. Believe me, there's always been a strong attraction to that boy. But even so, I knew that I had to keep him at a safe distance. Let's just say that it was a God-thing. Because I'd committed myself to abstaining from sex until marriage, and as a result, gave up dating in general. So there was no room in my life for Josh as a boyfriend. Consequently, I think I've really learned about priorities these past few years. God is always first, family and friends next, and then school (since that's sort of my "job" at the moment). And that's a full load. Getting serious with a guy just did not fit into that picture.
Even so, I never stopped loving Josh. And there have been times (like dozens!) when I was so scared that Josh would forget all about me and just write me off and marry someone else. I mean, there had to be hundreds of girls out there who knew what a catch this guy was. Not only is Josh cute (have I mentioned he looks like Matt Damon?) with blue eyes and the greatest smile ever, but he loves God with his whole heart, and he's the most honest and sincere guy I know. But enough about that for now-since I can feel my pulse rate increasing!
Anyway, each time I'd start to freak over the possibility of another girl snatching up the guy I loved, I tried really hard to give this fear to God. And it wasn't always easy. But it usually boiled down to trust. I knew I needed to trust God completely. I had to believe that my life and my future (as well as Josh's) were in His hands. That was my lifeline.
Back to today's wedding. Following the ceremony, we all traipsed down the stairs for a fairly no-frills reception in the church basement, which is nothing to write home about. I mean, our church is about as plain and boring as they come. It's in an old department store building downtown, but due to recent remodeling, the "sanctuary" is fairly spacious and the basement (which still smells like cardboard) actually has pretty good acoustics. That came in handy since Redemption played a few songs for the wedding guests. Just a few quiet numbers that made both Willy and Elise teary eyed.
I was slightly surprised that there were no decorations-no ribbons or candles and very few flowers. But Chloe informed me that Willy and Elise wanted to keep everything as simple as possible. "It's supposed to be lowkey," she said, as if she knew I had noticed that the room looked somewhat Spartan. Not that you need hundreds of roses or miles of satin ribbons and greenery, but I suppose that most of the weddings I've gone to have been pretty elaborate affairs-not to mention quite expensive.
"Yeah," Allie said in a hushed voice. "Believe it or not, the cake is from the grocery store bakery where my mom used to work."
"It looks nice," I said. Okay, it was a bit boring, and I suspected it wouldn't be too tasty. But it had the traditional three tiers with the little plastic bride and groom on top. And when Willy and Elise sliced into it, I'm sure it didn't matter to them whether it came from Albertsons down the street or the finest French bakery in Manhattan.
And it didn't matter to me either. Mostly I just enjoyed visiting with my church friends and a few old high school buddies, and finally congratulating Willy and Elise.
"I'm so happy for you two," I told them as we hugged.
Elise was absolutely glowing. "We are too." Then she frowned slightly. "I hope you don't feel bad that this means Davie and I will be going back on the road again." She held up her wedding ring finger. "Now that we're no longer scandal material."
Willy laughed. "Yeah, I'll bet some people think that this is just a marriage of convenience so that we can have Elise back as the chaperone again."
Elise leaned over and kissed her groom on the cheek. "Let them think what they like."
"Not that you weren't a great chaperone, Caitlin" Willy said, as if he suddenly remembered that I was still standing there. "You know you'll always be welcome."
I laughed. "Don't worry, you two. I had to give up the chaperone gig for now anyway. My plate's pretty full with my senior year."
"Still doing the double major?" Willy asked with a slightly concerned look.
I nodded. "Yeah. I like the pressure."
"What are you taking?" asked Elise.
"It's kind of an odd combo. Journalism and child development."
Willy smiled. "Well, if you graduate and end up jobless, I'm sure that the girls would welcome you back as their chaperone by next summer."
"You can say that again," Allie said with a mischievous grin. Of course, knowing Allie, I'm sure she'd prefer having me to her mom. Not that she likes me more than her mom, but she probably thinks she can get away with more stuff with me. Not that I ever let her. If anything, I think I was pretty strict with those girls.
Then just as Beanie and I were about to leave the reception, Josh stopped me. He and I already had one very brief conversation that had been interrupted by the photographer wanting to get some group shots of the wedding party.
"Don't leave yet," he said to me as he waved to someone calling his name from across the room. "I want to ask you something first."
I smiled at him. "What's that?"
"Are you busy tonight?"
I shrugged and glanced at Beanie. I'd already asked her to do something tonight, but she'd informed me that she needed to spend some time with her mom. "Not really," I said to Josh. "Why?"
"Do you think you could grab a bite with me?" He smiled in that cute but sly way of his (like he's keeping something from me). "You know, just two old friends catching up?"
"Of course," I told him. "I'd love to."
So he said he'd pick me up at six.
"You guys have a good time tonight," Beanie said when I dropped her off at her mom's place. Since Beanie's dad left when she was a baby, it's so cool that her mom finally found and married a great guy. And they have a house that's so much nicer than where they used to live. I know Beanie appreciates it when she comes home to visit.
"Thanks," I told Beanie, but something about her expression made me wonder. It's like she had this secret joke going on. Okay, maybe I realize this more in retrospect. You know, that old twenty-twenty hindsight kind of thing.
But I do think I started getting a bit suspicious when Josh picked me up. I had already changed into jeans and a sweater (okay, they were cute jeans and a nice sweater), but Josh had on a sleek-looking sports jacket and a tie. Josh hardly ever wears a tie.
"You didn't tell me it was formal," I said, feeling a little uncomfortable.
"You're fine, Caitlin."
I tried to suppress my feelings of being underdressed as I admired how handsome he looked. "So are you starting to dress like a pastor all the time now?"
He smiled as he navigated his Jeep Wrangler through traffic. "From what I hear, most pastors can't afford to dress too well."
"Oh, so you're making the most of it before you're forced to start digging through the missionary barrels then?"
He laughed. "I guess."
"So, how's it really going, Josh? Do you like your new job as the youth pastor? Chloe and Allie say that you're a natural."
"I pay them to say that."
I laughed. "No wonder pastors are so poor."
Then he turned more serious. "I think my parents are still a little disappointed by my career choice."
"Really? But I'd think with all that's happened with Chloe ... I mean, doesn't that make them more appreciative of ministry related jobs?"
He shrugged. "Don't forget that Chloe's 'ministry' brings in the big bucks, whereas my parents are fairly sure that I've signed on for a lifetime of poverty."
I nodded. "Yeah, I guess my parents still feel like that about me too. They usually just change the subject if I mention things like wanting to go down to Mexico to work with the orphanage after I graduate."
After that Josh got very quiet-I mean, dead silent-and suddenly I got worried that something was troubling him. Maybe even something serious. Like was he about to tell me he only had six months to live?
Finally the silence was killing me. "Where are we going?" I asked abruptly. We'd already driven past most of the eating areas downtown.
Well, I thought this seemed a little odd, but then I don't spend much time in this town anymore. For all I knew, there might be some new restaurant out this way. But now I really wished I'd worn something nicer. I remember looking down at my feet; at least I had on a new pair of shoes. A really cute pair of Nine Wests that I'd gotten while touring with the girls last summer. It was the first time I'd worn them.
Josh pulled into a parking lot at the park, and with that same funny sort of half smile, he hopped out and opened my door, then began to lead me down one of the dirt paths. The sun was just setting, and the park was pretty soggy from an afternoon rain.
But I decided not to question this strange little escapade. I knew he was up to something, but I still had this horrible feeling that he was about to break some really bad news. As a result, I'm sure that my heart was starting to pound a little harder.
We walked a ways, and Josh managed to make small talk the whole while. I can't even remember what he said-just idle chatter about the weather and time of year kind of thing.
Suddenly we came to a clearing near the water, and it was plain to see that someone was having quite a lovely little picnic down there by the lake. The watery scene was so beautiful in the dusky blue light. The sun had just set into the trees on the other side of the lake, and there was this amazing white cloth-covered table set with china and silver and lit by a lot of softly glowing votive candles. I could even hear music playing-classical with lots of violins.
"Josh!" I whispered as I grabbed him by the arm. "We can't intrude on this. Let's turn back. It must be a party for-"
"It's for us," he said with a huge grin.
"For us?" Now I'm sure my mouth must've fallen open just then, because Josh actually started laughing at me.
He nodded. "I had this all set up for us." Then he went over to the table and pulled out a chair. "Have a seat, mademoiselle."
So we sat at this sweet, candlelit table next to the lake, and several high school-aged guys that I recognized from church began to politely serve us a lovely dinner-my favorite pesto and linguine, as well as a bunch of other delicious things. Josh confessed that someone else had done the cooking. Kind of a relief, since I'm sure I would've been intimidated to discover that he cooks better than I do.
Excerpted from I DO! by MELODY CARLSON Copyright © 2004 by Carlson Management Co., Inc.. Excerpted by permission.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.
Posted April 14, 2014
Posted January 9, 2014
Posted February 9, 2013
Posted August 25, 2012
Posted December 27, 2011
I seriously LOVED this book! It was like I couldn't stop reading it! It completely changed my life and the way that I perceived things. I highly recommend this book for any girl who is questioning her faith or who isn't sure who she really is. Thank you so much, Melody!
Posted September 12, 2011
Melody carlson is so good! I had thhe first three books in the series but not the last two. The caitlin series is so good. I definitely recomend this book. It was one of my first nook simpe touch nook books and i hav read it three times!!!!!!!! Buy it. It is def with 10 bucks. I promiseWas this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.
Melody Carlson has written another diary from Caitlin that will take you through her life as a senior year in college. Throughout this year you learn about her and her faith. You see as she takes challenges head on with the help of God. She reveals lessons we can all learn and grow with. Carlson does an amazing job with her writing. In this diary you can imagine yourself going through everything Caitlin does. It gives you a great feel of empathy. The plot is real and true. Even though this is a diary of a senior in college the challenges that she faces we can all learn from and that any girl from various ages can enjoy this book. I'm so happy I stumbled across this book in my library. It was a joy to read and has help me with a lot. This book shows how much having faith in God can do for the world through one person. I recommend this book for any girl who wants to discover more about herself, what a person can do with God on their side, and that everyone struggles. I know you will enjoy Melody Carlson's way of writing and the way she wraps up Caitlin's story.Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.
Posted January 4, 2008
Caitlin is a girl who doesn¿t date boys for the sake of her getting closer to God. She thinks if she has a boyfriend that she will get distracted and drawn away from God. Caitlin has always loved this one guy named Josh Miller. She dated him before and it didn¿t really work out but she always loved him even after she was finished with college. She wanted them to one day be together and unite as one married couple. Does it ever happen? To find out read the book I DO from the Caitlin series by Melody Carlson. The worst thing about the book is that it is kind of blunt. What I mean about that is it doesn¿t make you wonder and guess what is going to happen next but it doesn¿t point blank tell you. The best part of the book is that it teaches life lesson. The book is not based on a true story but it relates to your life. It can help with issues about school, religion, dating, and going to parties and what you shouldn¿t do. In this book the characters go through life changing events. People who would be interested in this book are girls having social problems or religion issues. This book can teach girls the benefits of waiting for boyfriends and sex until out of school and marriage. Boys who are feminine may like this book but I would keep it on the girls¿ side. So it¿s a good book and once you start to read it I promise you won¿t want to put it down. Take a shot and read this wonderful book.Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.
Posted April 19, 2007
This book was a very good book and once I started reading it, I seriously could not put it down. My Lang. Arts teacher would always be like 'That must be a really good book since your reading that instead of doing your work!'. It made me realize how much I really need to get closer to God, and lately GOD now has been a big part in my life!!Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.
Posted January 5, 2007
Caitlin O¿Conner is attending college. Her roommate Liz moved out to live with her boyfriend. Caitlin then rooms with her old high school friend Jenny, who just transferred. Jenny is battling anorexia. Caitlin feels the need to help Jenny through this, and she does. Through the mist of college Caitlin was asked a life changing question. Her old boyfriend Josh Miller purposed! Caitlin is under a lot of stress with graduation in May and her wedding in the beginning of June. Caitlin¿s mom and Josh¿s mom both have to different style ideas for the wedding. Caitlin wants to save as much money as she can on this wedding, but Josh¿s mom insists that she doesn¿t worry about money. To see if the wedding happens you should definitely read this book! This book was really good. I couldn¿t put it down. There are always things that you never expected to happen, happen. One major thing I didn¿t like about this book was that the end wasn¿t great. It left me clueless and thinking what happened next. Melody Carlson has many different series and books. This series you have to read in order, but the color me books you don¿t.Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.
Posted August 14, 2006
Omg I love Melody Carlsons books(espicially the caitlen series or The Diary of a teenage girl!)I absoulety can relate even though I may not be christen I can relate and understand Caitlen's choices...OH PLEASE MELODY CARLSON WRITE A SIX TO CAITLEN'S SERIES!!!Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.
Posted August 9, 2006
I apposlutley love this book! Even though it is a book about a girl in colledge really anyone from middle school and up could read it! I read it in 7th grade and completely understood it and could even relate to it! Also you dont need to read the other books to understand this one! This book is deffinetly one of my favorites and I'm looking forward to reading other Caitlin books!Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.
Posted July 18, 2006
I got one of these books at the library, thinking that they looked interesting. I opened it, and then realized how religious these books all were. I have to admit, I am not Christian, and some of the things in these books I disagreed with. But as I got more into the books, I discovered how much I had in common, and am beginning to question what religion I truly am. And I have these books to thank.Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.
Posted May 25, 2005
IT HINK THIS SERIES IS AMAZING AND IT SHOULD BE MADE INTO A MOVIE...I MEAN YOU'VE GO TO ADMIT THAT MOST PEOPLE DON'T READ A LOT OF BOOKS FOR PURE ENJOYMENT AND IF THE MESSAGE THAT THIS BOOK GIVES COULD BE SHOWN TO EVERYONE AND NOT JUST PEOPLE THAT READ BOOKS, IT WOULD BE SO COOL!! THANKS MELODY FOR REALLY SHOWING ME WHAT THE IMPORTANT THINGS ARE, AND I WISH MORE PEOPLE COULD SAY THE SAME!!Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.
Posted January 22, 2009
No text was provided for this review.
Posted December 26, 2012
No text was provided for this review.
Posted October 21, 2011
No text was provided for this review.