I Hate Everyone, Except Youby Clinton Kelly
Clinton Kelly is probably best known for teaching women how to make their butts look smaller. But in I Hate Everyone, Except You, he reveals some heretofore-unknown secrets/i>
Bestselling author and television host Clinton Kelly pens a hilariously candid, deliciously snarky collection of essays about his journey from awkward kid to slightly-less-awkward adult.
Clinton Kelly is probably best known for teaching women how to make their butts look smaller. But in I Hate Everyone, Except You, he reveals some heretofore-unknown secrets about himself, like that he’s a finicky connoisseur of 1980s pornography, a disillusioned critic of New Jersey’s premier water parks, and perhaps the world’s least enthused high-school commencement speaker.
Whether he’s throwing his baby sister in the air to jumpstart her cheerleading career or heroically rescuing his best friend from death by mud bath, Clinton leaps life’s social hurdles with aplomb. With his signature wit, he shares his unique ability to navigate the stickiest of situations, like deciding whether it’s acceptable to eat chicken wings with a fork on live television (spoiler: it’s not). Clinton delves into all these topics—and many more—in this thoroughly unabashedly frank and uproarious collection.
“Grammar pointers, etiquette tips, appetizer recipes, and wardrobe advice deliver big laughs—seriously.”
"If there's a stylish wannabe on your gift list who just got their first apartment or starter home, you can now check the box next to their name off with a flourish."
"Hitting the summer wedding circuit but not sure what to wear? Clinton Kelly, Macy’s wedding expert, has your back."
“Clinton wrote a book that has me doubled over laughing and trying to catch my breath! Life is too short not to laugh good and hard when a good, hard laugh is offered. Clinton is offering. Read his book.”
Fashion maven Kelly (Freakin' Fabulous on a Budget, 2013, etc.) is more booster than basher in this collection of mostly autobiographical essays about his life on- and off-screen. At one point late in his amiable memoir, the author, moderator of The Chew and former co-host of What Not to Wear, warns a group of graduating high school kids to "dump the fucking assholes" in their lives. That succinct yet salient exhortation sums up Kelly's approach to life, both personal and professional. Whether chasing a lucrative career in media or a handsome suitor at the end of the bar, the former Long Island dork who always found fitting in difficult emphasizes his ongoing quest for common decency. Those wishing for a scathing takedown of the TV show he co-hosted with Stacy London for 10 years on TLC will be sorely disappointed. The most caustic Kelly gets on that score is when he concedes that he and the stylish London were like combining baking soda and vinegar: "after the fun part fizzles out, you're left with a puddle of nothing in particular." Southern-fried food guru Paula Deen earns a lot more of Kelly's ire, but only after comparing him to "a turd in the punchbowl" during a live-to-tape broadcast. Usually taking the high road, Kelly recounts past love affairs, run-ins with rude diners, and correspondence from unfavorable viewers with equal, levelheaded aplomb. Kelly also displays a keen sense of slapstick comedy, hilariously portraying the time a trip to the mud baths with an old pal turned into a desperate rescue operation requiring the two childhood friends to see each other naked for the first time: "One might think I deserved a heartfelt thank-you from my oldest friend in the world. Instead, Lisa—covered in so much mud that only the whites of her eyes resembled human tissue—asked: ‘Do your balls always hang that low?' " A thoroughly light and entertaining memoir.
- Gallery Books
- Publication date:
- Sales rank:
- Product dimensions:
- 5.50(w) x 8.37(h) x 0.90(d)
Meet the Author
Clinton Kelly is best known as Emmy-award-winning moderator of The Chew on ABC, as well as cohost of the wildly popular makeover show, What Not to Wear. Originally from Port Jefferson Station, New York, Clinton now resides with his husband, Damon, and dog, Mary, in Manhattan and Connecticut.
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
See all customer reviews
Sigh. I really, truly wanted to love this book. Being a huge fan of The Chew, I was predisposed to adore this book. But I didn't. Granted, the writing style was snappy. A couple of the stories were outright humorous. However, the book suffered from a bad case of Too Much Information. I cannot for the life of me fathom why Kelly would choose to reveal several anecdotes that should be mortally embarrassing to most people, let alone in a venue that could be read by his family, not to mention innocent bystanders (like me). It is going to be difficult for me to watch The Chew without some of the book's images burned in my brain. I think I'll always wonder now if Kelly is smiling at a guest while he is thinking of how much he hates them. TMI Clinton, TMI.
I like Kelly, I really do. At least on the Chew I've liked him. But I'm sorry I wasted time and money on this book.
That I would watch and love the show What Not To Wear was a foregone conclusion. My friends and I couldn't get enough of TLC's offerings: A Wedding Story, A Baby Story, Trading Spaces, we watched it all. My viewing tapered off after college because I was in grad school and living with my parents who did not have cable. But once I got my own place, the stars aligned and I no longer had to sporadically watch my favorite TLC shows. What Not To Wear would have been on the air for 2 years by that point and I delighted in catching up on Stacy and Clinton's delightful banter. Who among us did not think of someone they could nominate to appear on the show? Let's be honest: I would have been an amazing friend on the sidelines. I say all this so you understand why I was excited to read Clinton Kelly's memoir. I was hoping to learn more about him, as well as get some behind the scenes dish about the show. And that's exactly what I got. The book reads as if Kelly is talking to the reader. Perhaps because I've watched him on WNTW and The Chew but his voice was so strong throughout the narrative. At times it read as if we were old pals spilling dirt and other times he held back the curtain just enough to tease. I admire people who have good boundaries on what they're going to share. But that's not to say Kelly doesn't still push the envelope. If you are the sensitive type, a few stories verge on TMI so beware. I particularly loved hearing about the series of events that led to him being hired for What Not To Wear. It involved beseeching the Universe- and it worked! I also loved learning more about his family and upbringing and how he met his husband. Kelly made me laugh out loud a couple of times. The essays are not completely linear and span a variety of topics. Overall, it was quite enjoyable. I hope he'll keep writing. Disclosure: I was provided an ARC from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
Not really impressed. So unlike how he acts on the chew.