I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell (movie tie-in): with 16 page photo insert

I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell (movie tie-in): with 16 page photo insert

3.7 126
by Tucker Max

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“My name is Tucker Max, and I am an asshole." With these words Tucker Max launched a classic humor bestseller that has sold more than two million copies in the US and hundreds of thousands more throughout the world. I HOPE THEY SERVE BEER IN HELL was on The New York Times bestseller list for five years including the #1 position.

The new

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“My name is Tucker Max, and I am an asshole." With these words Tucker Max launched a classic humor bestseller that has sold more than two million copies in the US and hundreds of thousands more throughout the world. I HOPE THEY SERVE BEER IN HELL was on The New York Times bestseller list for five years including the #1 position.

The new edition, released in September 2015, includes a new 6-page Afterword that will delight Tucker's fans.  In it he describes his life in the 10 years since the book was first published, including his marriage and becoming a dad.  His anecdotes are, as always, funny and revealing, told in the unique voice that millions of readers have come to love.

Actual reader feedback:

"I am completely baffled as to how you can congratulate yourself for being a womanizer and a raging drunk, or think anyone cares about an idiot like you. Do you really think that exploiting the insecurities of others while getting wasted is a legitimate thing to offer?"

"Thank you, thank you, thank you—for sharing with us your wonderful tales of drunken revelry, for teaching me what it means to be a man, for just existing so I know that there is another option; I too can say 'screw the system' and be myself and have fun. My life truly began when I finished reading your stories. Now, when faced with a quandary about what course of action I should take, I just ask myself, 'What Would Tucker Do?'—and I do it, and I am a better man for it."

"I find it truly appalling that there are people in the world like you. You are a disgusting, vile, repulsive, repugnant, foul creature. Because of you, I don't believe in God anymore. No just God would allow someone like you to exist."

"I'll stay with God as my lord, but you are my savior. I just finished reading your brilliant stories, and I laughed so hard I almost vomited. I want to bring that kind of joy to people. You're an artist of the highest order and a true humanitarian to boot. I'm in both shock and awe at how much I want to be you."

"You are the coolest person I can even imagine existing. If you slept with my girlfriend, it'd make me love her more."

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I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell

By Tucker Max


ISBN: 0-8065-2728-5

Chapter One

The Foxfeld Weekend

Occurred-April 200 Written-April 2005

I have never attended the University of Virginia, but I still feel like I have a bond with the school. I applied and got in for college, and to my mild regret chose to attend the University of Chicago instead. I got in again for law school, and choose Duke because UVa didn't give me an academic scholarship (Duke did). I have four cousins that attended UVa and I've probably visited that school more than any other. But it was one incredible event in April of 2000 that really cemented my unofficial tie to that school: Foxfeld.

Foxfeld is the name for the spring horse races they have on some farm near UVa. Everyone loads up their car or truck or RV with food and booze, parks in this massive field and tailgates all day. Allegedly there are actual horses and they race each other around the track, but no one I know has ever seen them.

I was a 2L at Duke Law School that year. GoldenBoy and his girlfriend (who would later become his wife) both went to UVa for undergrad, and she was still at UVa when we were at law school. The Friday night before Foxfeld, GoldenBoy, Hate and I were out drinking in Durham. This is the rest of the story:

11:00pm: We are eating Mexican food and drinking beer. GoldenBoy regales us with wistful tales of Foxfeld. He describes a weekend of virtually unlimited alcohol, raucous drinking,food spreads to rival great medieval halls, and girls in sun dresses with negotiable morals.

11:15: Hate and I ask him why we aren't going. He doesn't have a satisfactory answer. We demand to leave immediately. He balks. We call him out. Doubt his manhood. Inquire as to his sexual preference and conjecture that he is of bastard French origin.

11:16: GoldenBoy is on the phone with his girlfriend (GoldenWife), telling her that we are coming, and requesting that she go out and buy beer. GoldenBoy is easily manipulated.

12:00am: We are on the road to Charlottesville. I have a personal 12 pack to make the three hours go by faster.

1:12: My beer is spilling on GoldenBoy's car. I don't notice because I am passed out.

3:00: We arrive at GoldenWife's apartment. We ask her where the parties are. She doesn't know. This pleases GoldenBoy. He sees it as a sign she is true to him. Couples like that make me sick

8:00: Hate and I wake up from a comfortable night sleeping on the hardwood floor. We bang on the bedroom door until GoldenBoy wakes up. "TIME TO DRINK!" He looks at us like we are rabid wild animals trying to eat his children. He slams the door and goes back to sleep.

8:03: Hate and I crack our first beer.

8:05: Hate and I crack our second beer.

8:08: Hate and I crack our third beer. I tell Hate that I can out drink him. He laughs, "So it begins, Max."

8:30: After we shotgun our 3rd beer in a row, I can feel the beer sloshing around in my stomach. Drinking in the morning = bad decisions.

9:17: I am on my 8th beer of the morning, and am already starting to look for places I can vomit. Hate is not slowing down. I decide that Hate can indeed out drink me.

10:00: Hate doesn't care that I have stopped trying, and keeps furiously pouring alcohol down his throat. He is stomping around the apartment, calling everyone out. "COME ON MAX-WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU AT? YEEEEAAAAHHHHHH.... GoldenBoy, get your ass out here. Bloody Mary's, one-for-one, YOU AND ME. Max already tapped out. You can even get GoldenWife to help you. YEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH. MAX YOU PUSSY!"

11:00: We get in the car and pick up GoldenBoy's undergrad friends who are in town for Foxfeld. Hate has moved from Aggressive Drinking to Combative Drinking. He is attacking the beer. Hate sticks his entire upper body out the back window of the car screaming at every female he sees, "WOOOOOOOOHHHHHHH.... SHOW US YOUR TITS!!!"

11:15: GoldenBoy tells me that although there are lots of hot girls at Foxfeld, on one actually hooks up there. It's more of a social drinking event, he says. I ask him if he knows who he is talking to. He rolls his eyes and condescendingly wishes me luck, "OK, Tucker ... no one hooks up at Foxfeld, they hook-up afterwards." GoldenBoy has thrown down this gauntlet. I pick it up and bitch slap him with it, "Motherfucker! How dare you besmirch my whore-attraction abilities. I'm going to hook up with a girl right in front of you, and then make you smell my finger."

12:00pm: We arrive. The field stretches beyond sight, an endless expanse of bushy-haired frat boy fuckwits in striped shirts and red pants, their cold beer and underage women ripe for the plundering. This is almost unfair.

12:01: I see my first hot girl in a sun dress and nearly break my neck staring at her. This scene will replay itself approximately 1,200 times this day.

12:13: We arrive at GoldenBoy's friends tent. He starts to introduce us, but Hate pushes everyone out of the way and dives into the friend chicken. He looks up momentarily to greet them with a barely decipherable mumble about "less talking, more eating," before turning his full attention to the potato salad, pushing it into his mouth by the handful.

12:14: GoldenBoy tells me that he is a little surprised. He had been sure I would be the one who ruined the afternoon. I remind him that it's still early in the race.

12:38: One girl, trying to be nice to Hate, points to the cooler and offers him a drink. He examines the selections, "I will not drink light beer or diet soda as both have been found to cause cancer in lab rats and have not really helped fat Americans that much anyway. Do I see Hooch in that cooler? OHHHH LORD! MAX, COME LOOK AT THIS! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?" I decide that it's time for Hate to walk around Foxfeld with me.


Excerpted from I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell by Tucker Max Excerpted by permission.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.

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I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell (movie tie-in): with 16 page photo insert 3.7 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 126 reviews.
Craig83 More than 1 year ago
The book of all books... Funny author, can get old fairly quickly. But still good stuff!
Roxnroll More than 1 year ago
When I started reading this book didn't really know what I was getting myself into. I am the kind of person who likes a book with some kind of lesson I can learn from it and a story line with a climax. This book is a whole bunch of drunken stories from some random guys life that I really could have lived without reading. Yes, this book is somewhat funny in some parts and the things that happened to this guy are ridiculous, but sometimes I didn't believe everything in the book. In the book it states the month and year the story occurred and also when it was written. He sometimes has exact times that things happened when he wrote a story 5 years after it occurred. I also think that he makes up better things to say in situations to make himself look better. Reading this book from a girl's perspective was really interesting because I got to see what boys who just go from girl to girl really think. At the same time, I would of rather not read what is going through a mans mind while he is having sexual relations with some skanky girl. This man is a pig and all he cares about is women and getting drunk. I would not recommend another girl read this book, do not buy it because most likely both you and your husband will not want to read it after a while. The only people who I can see enjoying this book are either high school boys or guys in their 20's. I understand why this guy wrote this book because most of the stuff that has happened to him has been pretty funny, but in the end it's just like watching The Hangover because right after your done your like alright that was kinda funny,but gross. alright move on with your day. You learned nothing from that movie except for don't let some crazy guy come on your bachelor party and rufee all you. That is exactly like this book... I learned absolutely nothing and you can't even tell a story out of the book that is even remotely appropriate. What I got from the book was never trust a man whore.
jmepitt More than 1 year ago
This rather grotesque recounting of the author's debauchery and chauvinist lifestyle is funny at times but, in the end, it's a one-trick pony. How many times can the same poop/penis/beer/vomit joke be funny? This would probably make a good gift for the appropriate audience... namely people who like very low brow humor (and I think we all do... from time to time).
StripperCody More than 1 year ago
Tucker's stories are really funny and entertaining, especially if you like drunken idiocy. He's the typical college guy stereotype. He gets really, really drunk (I didn't know humans could drink that much beer) and then somehow has sex with lots of girls and this is a collection of the stories that you can imagine come from this. As a girl, I thought this book was educational b/c it gives you an honest insight into the mind of a chauvenist pig. The most memorable messages for girls to take away are: guys will treat girls how girls will let guys treat them and the hottest girls always have body image issues. Also, the most important thing is Tucker shows you exactly what kind of guy to avoid by being the perfect example of it!!
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
He is a total slime bag -- and not good looking enough to have done most of what he writes about.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Only if you're into a vile story
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I laughed so hard while reading this book on a plane I was convulsing with tears running down my face. People were actually asking if I was okay.. If you do not consider yourself a deviant, or have a extremely foul sense of humor don't waste your time with this book. If you do it will be some of the best reads EVER!! One of my all time favorites
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Awesome book, laughed my ass off!
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
You need this book
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
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Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Please don't waste your time. This book is awful. Only the completely ignorant would find this garbage humorous. A guy who boasts to live and breath by  the contents of this book gave it to my fiance. The guy is a drunk labeled "rapey" "creepy" and constantly calls females "Dudes." We recycled this book.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
This book is nothing special when comparing to college kid's life from New York. I find it grotesque knowing he thinks its comical to treat women this poorly. I have to say the worst part was listening to his description of a friend trying to beat and kill his dog. There is or thing to degrade women but another thing to abuse and find it comical to eat animals. I still do not understand what they hype was all about. tucker max is the worst version possible of Chelsea Handler.   At least her stories are funny and gross; his are just the type of story I cannot wait to finish.  Bottom line do not buy this book. 
Sandy87 More than 1 year ago
The stories are funny, but it gets old. Come up with something new!
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Good book, but it can become a bit redundant. Nonetheless it has become the bible to the fratire genre!
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Anonymous More than 1 year ago
No reservation, Tucker Max knows how to party. Many who read his books will see an element of themselves, but few will rival Tucker. Fast, rebelliously & abrasive come to mind, Tucker took the phrase “Boogie till ya’ puke” to an excessive level. Defiantly not for the faint of heart or don’t have a coarse sense of humor. I can only imagine what the years of 1975 – 1980 would have been like should Tucker Max had been on the cast of Saturday Night Live.
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cripplerp More than 1 year ago
Not worth the $$. Don't get me wrong. This subject matter is up my alley. I dont mind shock value in stories or movies. And this book starts off good. Then it become cliche, the scenarios, the writing, all of it. This book reads like a 7th graders English class journal assignment. The pro is that it is a real easy read. The con is, that it is boring. The author spends most of his time trying to convince you that the stories are real. I highly doubt it. When you write things like "I can't make this up" and "My life is unreal" you are trying way to hard. Some of the stories are very similar to each other. He also rewrites parts of his the other shorts word for word. Overall this is a weak book. Weak writing, weak plots, weak trying to be non fiction.