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I Left My Haunt in San Francisco

I Left My Haunt in San Francisco

by Mark Everett Stone

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After avenging himself on the mythical monster that killed his sister, Kal Hakela is back at the Bureau of Supernatural Investigation. But, with only a few months left on his contract, he's tempted to retire along with his new love, former MI-7 agent Jeanie. When a friend and former BSI agent in San Francisco kills himself, he leaves Kal a clue, one he cannot ignore.


After avenging himself on the mythical monster that killed his sister, Kal Hakela is back at the Bureau of Supernatural Investigation. But, with only a few months left on his contract, he's tempted to retire along with his new love, former MI-7 agent Jeanie. When a friend and former BSI agent in San Francisco kills himself, he leaves Kal a clue, one he cannot ignore. The city is full of bad memories for Kal. In his last mission there, he killed a deranged serial rapist who used magic to murder his victims. Though successful, the mission resulted in unfortunate collateral damage, which earned Kal the enmity of San Francisco's ghostly Supernatural protector. With the fate of every human on Earth at stake, Kal and his team confront a slew of Supernatural perils, from giant insects to gargoyles. And they must complete their mission without the help of the BSI, its magical weaponry, and the superhuman power of Kal's legendary rage.

Editorial Reviews

From the Publisher

"Another high impact, fast moving story from Mark Everett Stone. I am really enjoying seeing his growth as a writer reflected in the strength of his characters and am looking forward to seeing what the future holds for Kal."

--Michelle Herbert, Fantasy Book Review

"Can you imagine the panic and religious hysteria if John Q. Public found that vampires, werewolves and demons were really out to get them?" That is the very situation that Kal Hakela and his team of commandos and magicians from the Bureau of Supernatural Investigation face every day, and on every page of Mark Everett Stone's I Left My Haunt in San Francisco.

Part Men in Black, part Ghostbusters, and with a nod to Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Stone's book is a hoot and a howl--literally. From the mostly friendly ghost of Joshua Norton, self-crowned emperor of the United States and protector of Mexico, to a devilish fairy prince of the underworld, Stone's hero and his team encounter and must deal with all manner of supernatural beings and beasties. Fortunately, Kal Hakela and his plucky crew have spell bombs and other magic-enhanced weapons. But the best tools in their arsenal are, of course, their own cunning and courage.

The third in a series, I Left My Haunt in San Francisco is lively and smart. It is packed with action and just enough goop and gore to please fans of the genre without turning away newcomers to this subset of modern fantasy demon-busting. Stone's characters deliver the requisite quips about having to fight "a wasp the size of a Buick" or how an enemy's lair "looks like it's been designed by a gay Rastafarian pastry chef on Quaaludes."

The good guys must battle monsters and zombies, evil fairies, serial-rapist-murdering magicians, iron-munching nannies, and nasty magical knights made of glass (black, of course) just to name a few among the host of creatures and creations Stone has called up to harry the City by the Bay. Thankfully, Kal Hakela has powerful allies, among them a mystical Apache and Ileana, "a buff version of Audrey Hepburn." It is all written in good fun, tongue firmly planted in cheek, and with the gruesome bits lightened by such whimsical characters as the tiny elfish brownies Hakela carries about in a toy Winnebago to play rock music and take care of his dry cleaning.

Stone's book moves fast and reads quickly. It is well-written and nicely paced, with a few short rest stops built in to allow the reader to catch his breath, all to better appreciate the at-times purple but always entertaining prose. "Money may be the root of all evil," as one such passage goes, "but it is good root to have when you fight Supernatural."

In Stone's world, large amounts of magic are measured in "gigamerlins," and on that scale, I Left My Haunt in San Francisco rates a full "teramerlin." It is just great, grand fun.

Mark McLaughlin, ForeWord Review

March 15, 2013

"Stone's depiction of magic is realistic and intelligent and his treatment of Catholicism refreshingly informed and three-dimensional. Even the obligatory near-apocalyptic ending is coherent, surprising, and exciting."

Publishers Weekly (Starred review of The Judas Line)

"Kal Hakala is at his finest, throwing out one liners and sarcasm like candy at the local town parade. There's even some nifty new gadgets that would make Q green with envy. Stone concocts his tale with a generous helping of spells and weaponry, a dash of some familiar faces, a smidgen of new folks on the team, and tops it off with plenty of awesome battles with the Things That Go Bump in the Night …. A dish best read in one sitting because you won't be able to put this one down."

--Shay Fabro, award-winning author of the Portal of Destiny series

"The third episode of the Files of the BSI series is told with Mark Stone's trademark tongue in cheek humor. It keeps you wanting more with each turn of the page, to not only uncover the mysteries of the story, but also to enjoy Kal's quick but cynical wit."

--CP Bialois, author of Call of Poseidon, The Sword and the Flame series, and Skeleton Key

Product Details

Coffeetown Enterprises, Inc.
Publication date:
Product dimensions:
5.00(w) x 8.00(h) x 0.67(d)

Read an Excerpt

"Boss," Wilkes began. "What happened last time you were here? What was taken from Norton that he prized so much?"

Blood, black in the bright light of the full moon, splashed across the landscape of my memory. Last time in San Fran had been a dubious victory at best; we killed the bad guy and saved lives, but at the same time lost the heart of Joshua Norton.

"I'll tell you later," I muttered, the foul taste of the memory coating my tongue. Off to the right, out of the corner of my eye, I saw a young kid--perhaps thirteen, with long, stringy blond hair and a gray hoodie--pointing a stick. I saw a flash of mirrored sunglasses before the world went all jiggery.

Heat burned up my arm and the roof of the Suburban hit me in the face and torqued my head at a nearly impossible angle while the steering wheel hit me in the Misters. The cramping, grinding pain that shot through my crotch was a blunt message that my sex life would be curtailed for a while. A tail of yellow briefly flickered across my vision, accompanied by a strange crackling sound. Burnt pork assailed my nose. For some reason, everything was topsy-turvy and it slowly came to me that I hung upside down by my seat belt, which was odd but I couldn't quite figure out why.

I tasted blood and burning plastic. A square of glass had invaded my mouth and spitting it out hurt like hell, but not as much as my left arm. What …? A body blocked my sight to the right, a big one. More blood filled my mouth and the universe spun on its axis. I felt the sudden urge to throw up. I wiped my eyes and realized that my left sleeve was on fire and the burning pork was ME! I smelled almost delicious but I couldn't hear much because everything seemed to be muffled in a pad of cotton and when that cotton was suddenly ripped away, I could hear everything, a cacophony of harsh sounds--the blare of horns, the crackle and whoosh of fire, the jagged raw sound of metal slowly scraping asphalt. It all overwhelmed me and I could feel my eyes crossing in consternation.

Crunch, crunch, crunch …

The noise was close enough to draw my attention because for some reason the fire eating my arm didn't hurt any more, but what was crunching my way with such slow, deliberate steps?

Meet the Author

Born in Helsinki, Finland, Mark Everett Stone arrived in the U.S. at a young age and promptly dove into the world of the fantastic. Starting at age seven with the Iliad and the Odyssey, he went on to consume every scrap of Norse Mythology he could get his grubby little paws on. At age thirteen he graduated to Tolkien and Heinlein, building up a book collection that soon rivaled the local public library's. In college Mark majored in Journalism and minored in English. Mark has published five books with Camel Press: Things to Do in Denver When You're Un-Dead, What Happens in Vegas Dies in Vegas, I Left My Haunt in San Francisco, Chicago, The Windigo City (Books 1, 2, 3, and 4 of the From the Files of the BSI series) as well as a standalone novel, The Judas Line, which was a finalist for the ForeWord Magazine Book of the Year Award in the Fantasy Category. Mark lives in Denver with his amazingly patient wife, Brandie, and their two sons, Aeden and Gabriel. You can find Mark on the Web at markeverettstone.com.

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