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I Love a Cop: What Police Families Need to Know

I Love a Cop: What Police Families Need to Know

4.1 11
by Ellen Kirschman

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Will police work change the person you love? Are police marriages destined to fail? What are the chances of your loved one being killed in the line of duty? Separating fact from myth, Dr. Ellen Kirschman answers these and other critical questions in the first comprehensive self-help book created specifically for today's police families. In information-filled


Will police work change the person you love? Are police marriages destined to fail? What are the chances of your loved one being killed in the line of duty? Separating fact from myth, Dr. Ellen Kirschman answers these and other critical questions in the first comprehensive self-help book created specifically for today's police families. In information-filled chapters, readers will go behind the scenes with other police families as they discuss the benefits and pitfalls of police work; learn how to manage the effects of organizational stress and the pressures of unpredictable schedules, long hours and loneliness; gain awareness of the emotional, physical, and behavioral warning signs which can lead to such extreme situations as posttraumatic stress, alcoholism, suicide and domestic violence; find out where families can go for help and counseling; and get an inside look at cop couples and the special challenges facing women, minorities, and gays and lesbians on the force.

Editorial Reviews

From the Publisher
"This is a great book! My husband is a rookie cop and I found the book extremely helpful. I'm recommending it to all the other cop spouses and family members I know!"—Liesa M. Persaud, Tulsa, Oklahoma

"I have been a peace officer for almost 27 years and have just recently started reading Dr. Kirschman's book. I wish I had read it a long time ago!"—Jerry Evagelatos, Fremont County Sheriff's Office, Riverton, Wyoming

"I Love a Cop is 'must' reading for police recruits, police officers and their family members. Dr. Kirschman's grasp, understanding, and description of how police work provides unique challenges to the officer and the law enforcement family is grounded in years of experience helping police officers and their families through issues and problems commonly encountered in police work. She not only identifies law enforcement career problems, but also offers simple and practical ways to prevent or remedy potential adverse effects of police work on the officer and family."—Gary Kaufmann, PsyD, Chief Police Psychologist, Behavior Science Section, Michigan Department of State Police

"I can't believe there is finally a training manual on how to survive in a law enforcement family. I wish this book had been available 20 years ago when I first started speaking to spouses about having a family member in law enforcement. This book is not only for the family, but for the officer as well. Reading this book could very well save a few police marriages, help the police officer and family cope through the various stages of the profession, as well as helping those planning on marrying into this calling know what is ahead. It would also be a tremendous help to those in law enforcement support groups as we struggle to understand the cop in our lives and be there for the new spouse or family member that doesn't yet understand. I feel this book is a must for the law enforcement officer as well as their family." —Karen Lippe, President, Grand Lodge Auxiliary, Fraternal Order of Police

"I consider reading Ellen Kirschman's I Love a Cop a necessary prerequisite for any clinician who comes into contact with those who work in law enforcement or their families. This should be required reading for all recruits and their families." —Lieutenant Al Benner, Ph.D., 30-year veteran, San Francisco Police Department

"This excellent book, packed with helpful information, and specific examples, is written for police families, and is also invaluable for mental health professionals working with them. Beautifully written and very absorbing to read, this book is focused on the psychological and emotional aspects of police work, and the ways in which these stresses impact family life. On every page Dr. Kirschman demonstrates a sensitive understanding of the men, women, and families involved in a public service career of almost overwhelming difficulty. I Love A Cop is a gift of inestimable value to the families themselves, and to the mental health professionals who are attempting to understand and help them." —Emily B. Visher, Ph.D. and John S. Visher, M.D., Cofounders, Stepfamily Association of America

"I Love A Cop should be required reading for all police recruits and their families. Dr. Kirschman has presented in a clear manner the issues facing police officers today - both on the job and at home. By openly discussing police family violence and the discrimination faced by women and minorities on the job, she has pushed aside the veil of secrecy that so often descends over these issues. And, best of all, she offers constructive steps that can be taken to lessen the impact of stress on police officers and their families." —Chief Penny Harrington, Director, National Center for Women and Policing

"Ellen has presented all the information I gathered in 21 years as a police officer's spouse. Now police spouses can have the advantage of knowing and understanding the stresses of police life before they experience it through the job. Living with a cop and not understanding what he or she goes through is like riding rapids down the Arkansas River without a raft. This book provides a life raft for police families to help them understand the profession. This book gives clear understanding of the police profession to help families cope with the toughest people job in the world. The law enforcement profession affords families a wonderful way of life, but it is a way of life and this book explains it all so well. Where were you Ellen Kirschman from 1970-1992? This book is long overdue!" —Suzie Sawyer, Executive Director, Concerns of Police Survivors.

"I Love A Cop is an impressive synthesis of relevant information within a context of empathic, experiential vignettes. Dr. Kirschman's book will be an invaluable tool for the Metro-Dade Police Department, both for training purposes with recruits and in-service officers, as well as a resource for my marital and couples patients."—Scott W. Allen, PhD, Staff Psychologist, Metro-Dade Police Department, Florida

". . .I would like to take this opportunity to publicly recognize Dr. Ellen Kirschman for her presentation entitled, Organizational Stress: Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places. Ellen read excerpts from chapters of her soon to be released book by the title of I Love a Cop, which is being published by Guilford Publications (1-800-365-7006) with an anticipated release for February, 1997. Rarely, if ever, have I seen a group of police psychologists so emotionally reactive. I can personally say I was profoundly affected by the experience. I also know many of my peers were similarly moved. Thank you Ellen for your gift of such an intense emotional communication." —Scott W. Allen, PhD, Staff Psychologist, Metro-Dade Police Department, Florida; [do not cite APA affiliation: Chair, Division 18, American Psychological Association, Police and Public Safety Psychology Section] in The Psychologist and Public Service Newsletter, Division 18 of APA.

"Not just theory, the stories she relates are drawn from the actual files of police psychologists from throughout the country. The entire book can be either read straight through from cover to cover or used as a handy manual by selecting specific chapters that apply to each individual's own specific problem or problems. ...easy-to-read. The book would make an excellent gift to any individual with a family member or loved one who is working in law enforcement. Highly recommended." —Fred R. Egloff, Law Enforcement Memorial Association, Spring '97.

Library Journal
While police officers have always encountered danger, events of the past few years have increased their vulnerability. In 1997, clinical psychologist Kirschman put together this coping guide for officers, their family members, and mental health professionals, drawing on her and her colleagues' files to discuss not only the everyday challenges that police officers face but also the measures families can take for dealing with trauma. With this revised edition, Kirschman addresses facets of post-9/11 and post-Katrina police work, including chapters on domestic and alcohol abuse and the special trials of female officers and cop couples. The author maintains that police families can, in fact, thrive, and she's got the success stories to prove it. Preparedness is one of the keys to that state, and this book, which should interest its intended audience and the general public, shows how to get there. For all libraries. Copyright 2007 Reed Business Information.

Product Details

Guilford Publications, Inc.
Publication date:
Edition description:
Older Edition
Product dimensions:
6.00(w) x 9.00(h) x (d)

Meet the Author

Dr. Ellen Kirschman, clinical psychologist and consultant, has been working with law enforcement agencies for over 20 years. She has written extensively about the law enforcement culture and is sought after as a speaker and seminar leader. Dr. Kirschman has been an invited guest at the FBI academy and is a member of the Psychology Section of the International Association of Chiefs of Police. She resides in Redwood City, California.

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I Love A Cop 4.8 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 4 reviews.
Guest More than 1 year ago
I've read a lot of similar literature on this subject, but I Love A Cop hits the nail on the head. It was like reading a book about me and my officer... It's uncanny how unbelievably accurate Mrs. Kirschman articulates everything, from small quotes to tips to full out detailed accounts. I ABSOLUTELY URGE any significant other, spouse, or family member of a police officer to read this book and pass it along
Guest More than 1 year ago
..but be forwarned before you read it! This is a wonderful book packed with tons of information geared toward your Cop's better half..you (and don't you police wives/husbands/significant others forget that!)! Personally, this book has really enriched my relationship with my new cop..but it has pissed me off royally a couple times..it's biased, and at times justifies cop shenanigans, like cheating, and neglecting the ones they love..it's really a double edged sword. I recommend it to anyone involved in a relationship with a LEO..friends, family, lovers..but be prepared to rant to your cop and throw the book at him..literally!
Guest More than 1 year ago
And this book really helps answer all those questions that we, as wives or significant others, ask everyday. I've read and reread many sections of the book. Great 'How to Deal With...' sections that make the recommendations easy to apply. Must read for all 'cop' relationships!!
Guest More than 1 year ago
Wonderful information not to be found else where.