I Love You But I Don't Trust You: The Complete Guide to Restoring Trust in Your Relationship

I Love You But I Don't Trust You: The Complete Guide to Restoring Trust in Your Relationship

3.8 7
by Mira Kirshenbaum
     
 

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Is my relationship worth saving?
Will the trust ever come back?
How can things be good between us again?

Whether broken trust is due to daily dishonesties, a monumental betrayal, or even a history of hurts from the past, it can put a relationship at risk. This is the first book to show you exactly what to do to restore trust in your relationship,

Overview

Is my relationship worth saving?
Will the trust ever come back?
How can things be good between us again?

Whether broken trust is due to daily dishonesties, a monumental betrayal, or even a history of hurts from the past, it can put a relationship at risk. This is the first book to show you exactly what to do to restore trust in your relationship, regardless of how it was damaged.

In this complete guide, couples therapist Mira Kirshenbaum will also help you understand the stages by which trust strengthens when the rebuilding process is allowed to take place. And you will learn how the two of you can avoid the mistakes that prevent healing and discover how to feel secure with each other again.

Editorial Reviews

Infidelity or even the fear of infidelity can cause break ups or undermine an otherwise healthy relationship so badly that it degenerates into a jealousy-ridden armed camp. Mira Kirshenbaum's I Love You But I Don't Trust You is designed to restore trust into endangered love relationships without opening new wounds or creating recriminations. A valuable restorative in time for Valentine's Day from the author of Too Good To Leave Too Bad To Stay; a trade paperback and NOOK Book original.

Alisa Schnaars

From the Publisher
“This book, based on so much experience and wisdom, will be tremendously useful for millions of people in relationships where trust has been damaged. I found important insights and suggestions everywhere.” — Pepper Schwartz, author of Love Between Equals

“If you want to find your way back to the people you love, this book is a must read. It offers a step-by-step map for rebuilding trust and helping you find peace within.” — Michele Wiener-Davis, author of Divorce Busting

“A path breaking book on restoring trust in relationships. A wonderful read based on deeply felt experiences.” — Janis Abrahms Spring, Ph.D., author of How Can I Forgive You?

“This practical must read book is for anyone who has ever suffered the hurt and pain of mistrust. Mira Kirshenbaum wisely takes you on a journey exploring the difficulties of betrayal, suspicion and harmful mistakes. Kirshenbaum’s gifted insights are profound and they show you how to restore trust with your closest loved ones.” — Lee Raffel, M.S.W., author of I Hate Conflict!

“Mira Kirshenbaum has hit another one out of the park. Her no-nonsense approach offers thoughtful, practical step-by-step methods to assess whether and how to rebuild the trust in your relationship.” — Diana Mercer, J.D., co-author, Making Divorce Work

“[Kirshenbaum] gives brave advice for overcoming the devastating effects of betrayed trust, and gives hope that we actually might be able to salvage and repair important relationships, or at least know that we have choices we can make. Thank you for this much needed guidebook to trust—the essential building block of all relationships.” — Carol Evans, President, Working Mother Media

Library Journal
Whether one is recovering from a major betrayal, a lack of openness, or a history of hurts, psychotherapist Kirshenbaum (When Good People Have Affairs) argues that couples can avoid the mistakes that prevent healing and feel secure with each other once again. She uses her own and others' experiences as well as psychological research to show how mistrust enters a relationship (e.g., unequal power), how trust can be restored, and how to safeguard a relationship so it will never happen again. Kirshenbaum also includes an assessment of whether a relationship can be saved. This book will offer a secure foothold to anyone who is feeling betrayed but wants to hang in there.

Product Details

ISBN-13:
9780425245316
Publisher:
Penguin Publishing Group
Publication date:
02/07/2012
Pages:
304
Sales rank:
64,984
Product dimensions:
5.30(w) x 7.90(h) x 1.00(d)
Age Range:
18 Years

Meet the Author

Mira Kirshenbaum is the author of eleven books translated into twenty languages and a two-time finalist for the Books for a Better Life award. She is clinical director of The Chestnut Hill Institute, an internationally recognized center for research and psychotherapy. She has trained clinicians at Harvard Medical School and other institutions.

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I Love You but I Don't Trust You 3.7 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 6 reviews.
NoNonsenseJo More than 1 year ago
I usually don't write reviews because...well, pretty much because I'm lazy, but I went back to this site to buy another copy of I Love You but. . . for my sister and I saw the 2-star review and it made me mad. You've got to be kidding: this is a 5-star book if I've ever read one. Come on: trust is a huge problem in relationships, Kirshenbaum is a huge expert and has been there herself, she writes wisely and sensitively, and the advice and understanding she offers is state-of-the-art. Besides, she has this lovely warm sympathetic voice which is just right for those of us in pain around this issue of broken trust in all its forms. Plus she's all about actually healing your relationship. So: if there are trust issues of any kind in your relationship, this is going to be THE book from now on, I'm sure. You owe it to yourself to read it.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I turned to this book because I was in a situation in my relationship where trust had broken down. I could see we were headed for big trouble. I knew Mira's work from other books of hers where I'd fallen in love with her super-solid, very personal writing style. She writes like she really knows you. That's the way she wrote this book too. I felt like Mira had lived through what I was living through, except that she had also figured out how to prevent you from losing someone you love. I LOVE YOU BUT I DON'T TRUST YOU walks you through everything you need to know to deal with trust issues in your relationship. She even has a chapter on how to figure out whether it's worth staying and trying to restore trust even though you're angry and scared. Then Mira gets down to business. She has a number of chapters on how to recover from a major betrayal, which is what had happened in my relationship. She takes you through all the stages of restoring trust from the very beginning when you're just crazy with fear and anger to the end when you're beginning to find real forgiveness. Other stages have to do with finding out if the other person really cares about you. Finding out if you can solve your problems together...all the things that come up. I really like what Mira did with this subject. I was afraid this was going to be a kind of cookbook: do this, do that. Instead Mira really believes that if there's something to the relationship to begin with, then restoring is very doable and happens faster than most people think. So what this book does is show you the most common mistakes people make that prevent trust from being restored, and then she shows you how to avoid those mistakes. The whole time I kept wondering, how does Mira know me so well. But she's not done yet. She goes on to show how to restore trust in other situations like when there's a real power imbalance between the two people, or when one person is unreliable, or when one person is mistrustful because he's been hurt in previous relationship. I felt a lot of this material also applied to my relationship. By the time I finished the book I realized, wow, it really is all about trust, and there are a lot of relationships out there that need this book badly. If you have issues in your relationship, you have trust issues, and you need this book. I hope everyone will read it. I strongly recommend it.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I love this book
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