I Love You More Workbook for Men: Six Sessions on How Everyday Problems Can Strengthen Your Marriage

Overview

The I Love You More Workbook for Men will help you personalize the discoveries you make in I Love You More and then turn them into practical action. As you convert principles into hands-on application to meet the unique needs of your marriage, you truly will grow to love each other more knowledgeably, more effectively, and more deeply.

EXERCISES AND ASSESSMENTS Twenty-one exercises furnish you with vital insights, guidance, and tools for applying the principles you?ll encounter ...

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Overview

The I Love You More Workbook for Men will help you personalize the discoveries you make in I Love You More and then turn them into practical action. As you convert principles into hands-on application to meet the unique needs of your marriage, you truly will grow to love each other more knowledgeably, more effectively, and more deeply.

EXERCISES AND ASSESSMENTS Twenty-one exercises furnish you with vital insights, guidance, and tools for applying the principles you’ll encounter in the book and DVD. You can turn your marriage’s prickly issues into opportunities to love each other more as you learn how to:

- build intimacy while respecting personal space
- tap the power of a positive marriage attitude
- replace boredom with fun, irritability with patience, busyness with time together, debt with a team approach to your finances . . . and much, much more.

DISCUSSION GUIDE This will help your small group enjoy lively and eye-opening interaction through six sessions in the ZondervanGroupware small group DVD. As couples, you’ll discuss how you can turn the problems in your marriages to your advantage, defend your relationships against six “sneak attacks,” solve any problem in five realistic steps, and more. Each session links with the workbook exercises and concludes with an exercise each couple can do together over the next week.

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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9780310262756
  • Publisher: Zondervan
  • Publication date: 8/1/2005
  • Pages: 96
  • Sales rank: 1,097,691
  • Product dimensions: 6.00 (w) x 9.00 (h) x 0.25 (d)

Meet the Author

Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott are founders of RealRelationships.com and the Center for Relationship Development at Seattle Pacific University. Their bestselling books include Love Talk, Crazy Good Sex, and the award-winning Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts. Their work has been featured in the New York Times and USA Today, and they have appeared on CNN, Good Morning America, and Oprah. They live with their two young sons in Seattle.
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Read an Excerpt

I Love You More Workbook for Men

Six Sessions on How Everyday Problems Can Strengthen Your Marriage
By Les Parrott Leslie Parrott

Zondervan

Copyright © 2005 Les and Leslie Parrott
All right reserved.

ISBN: 0-310-26275-5


Chapter One

taking inventory of your marriage

Every couple bumps into bad things-circumstances that make marriage more difficult. In this first exercise, we urge you to take an inventory of everything threatening your love. Every couple has their own unique list. What follows are some of the most common. Take a moment, without input from your spouse, to check those that currently top your list.

Frequent conflict

Financial pressures

Power struggles

Busy schedules

Work pressures

Career crisis

Infertility

Tumultuous relations with extended family

A rebellious child

Sexual unfulfillment

Lack of spiritual intimacy

Frequent communication breakdowns

Major illness

Addictions

Infidelities and lack of trust

Grief or loss

Other: ____________________________________

Before discussing the list you just made with your partner, take a few more minutes to note the things in your life right now that are good for your marriage. What half-dozen good things are augmenting the love you share? Your list could consist of anything from "having a date night each week" to "being honest with each other" to "sharing the housework." Note what is currently going on that buoys your marriage in spite of everything else.

Being honest with each other

Sharing housework

Sharing humor or laughter

Having strong social support

Sharing a vision for our future

Enjoying a committed church life together

Enjoying a fulfilling sex life

Having a date night

Enjoying good children

Feeling in good physical health

Having a secure financial future

Sharing interests and hobbies

Enjoying strong extended family relationships

Supporting each other in prayer

Feeling secure in our marriage commitment

Feeling strong emotional health

Other: _____________________________

Once you've made your two lists, set aside some time to share this information with each other. Don't turn this into a gripe session. The point of sharing your first list is to simply identify what difficult things you are both contending with that impact your marriage. The goal in sharing your second list is to remember the positive, not just the negative.

(Continues...)



Excerpted from I Love You More Workbook for Men by Les Parrott Leslie Parrott Copyright © 2005 by Les and Leslie Parrott. Excerpted by permission.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.

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Table of Contents

contents
A Letter to Our Readers 7
1. Taking Inventory of Your Marriage 9
2. Exploring Your Marital Armament 12
3. Why Every Marriage Has Everyday Problems 14
4. What Did You Expect? 16
5. The Big Question 18
6. So Many Choices 20
7. Your Attitude Quotient 22
8. What Have You Been Looking For? 24
9. Coping with the Invasion of Intimacy 27
10. When Husband and Wife Become Mom and Dad 30
11. Refueling the Sexual Fire 32
12. Taking Control of Your Time-Starved Marriage 35
13. Getting to Know You . . . All over Again 37
14. Healing Your Painful Past 40
15. Owning Up 42
16. High Hopes---Even When You’re Hurting 45
17. Walking in Your Partner’s Shoes 48
18. Assessing Your Spiritual Language 50
19. Finding the Inspiration around You 52
20. Taking Cover from a Bombshell and Its Fallout 55
21. Surviving Your Private Gethsemane 57
Small Group Discussion Guide 59
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First Chapter

I Love You More Workbook for Men

a letter to our readers
Itook a speed reading course and read War and Peace in twenty minutes,' says comedian Woody Allen. 'It involves Russia.'
Ever felt like that after reading a book? Sometimes it becomes so easy to focus on finishing a book that we miss its main message.
What you hold in your hand is a kind of insurance policy against that happening while you are reading I Love You More.
But it's more than that too.
Books let us shake hands with new ideas. But these ideas remain as flat as the printed page if we do not apply them to our lives. For this reason, we have designed workbooks---one for husbands and one for wives---that will help you incorporate into your marriage the new lessons you learn while reading.
As you read through the main book, you will discover places where it points you to do an exercise in these workbooks. Most of them are designed for you to take about five minutes on your own to complete a few questions or to take a brief self-test and then compare your results with your spouse (that's why it's important for each spouse to have a workbook). Or, it may give you an exercise to do together so that you can put into practice a new principle. This is where real learning occurs. This is where new ideas become more than acquaintances; they begin to make a positive difference in your marriage.
We have used these exercises with countless couples, both in our counseling practice as well as in our seminar settings. They are proven. They work. And that's why we are passionate about you doing them as you read through our book.
While there is no one right way to use these workbooks, we suggest that you complete the exercises as you encounter them in the book, or soon after you have finished reading the chapter that covers the exercise. In other words, try to complete the exercises for that chapter before moving on to the next one. The point is to integrate the exercises into the process of reading the book.
Some of the exercises are designed to be used again and again
('The Big Question,' for example), helping you continue to deepen your level of intimacy. Others are more of a one-shot exercise designed to give you a flash of insight.
As you proceed through the pages of this book, make it your own. Don't get too hung up on following the rules. If a particular exercise leads you down a more intriguing path, take it. Some of these exercises may simply serve as springboards to discussions that fit your style more appropriately. However, if an exercise seems a bit challenging, don't give up on it. As the saying goes,
anything worth having is worth working for---especially when it comes to marriage.
So, whether you are a speed reader or not, we hope you don't approach I Love You More just to check it off your 'to-do' list.
We hope and pray that you will, instead, use these exercises, selftests,
and discussion questions to internalize the book's message and fortify your marriage with every possible good thing.
Exercise 1
taking inventory of your marriage
Every couple bumps into bad things---circumstances that make marriage more difficult. In this first exercise, we urge you to take an inventory of everything threatening your love. Every couple has their own unique list. What follows are some of the most common. Take a moment, without input from your spouse,
to check those that currently top your list.
_ Frequent conflict
_ Financial pressures
_ Power struggles
_ Busy schedules
_ Work pressures
_ Career crisis
_ Infertility
_ Tumultuous relations with extended family
_ A rebellious child
_ Sexual unfulfillment
_ Lack of spiritual intimacy
_ Frequent communication breakdowns
_ Major illness
_ Addictions
_ Infidelities and lack of trust
_ Grief or loss
_ Other: __________________________________________________
Before discussing the list you just made with your partner, take a few more minutes to note the things in your life right now that are good for your marriage. What half-dozen good things are augmenting the love you share? Your list could consist of anything from 'having a date night each week' to 'being honest with each other' to 'sharing the housework.' Note what is currently going on that buoys your marriage in spite of everything else.
_ Being honest with each other
_ Sharing housework
_ Sharing humor or laughter
_ Having strong social support
_ Sharing a vision for our future
_ Enjoying a committed church life together
_ Enjoying a fulfilling sex life
_ Having a date night
_ Enjoying good children
_ Feeling in good physical health
_ Having a secure financial future
_ Sharing interests and hobbies
_ Enjoying strong extended family relationships
_ Supporting each other in prayer
_ Feeling secure in our marriage commitment
_ Feeling strong emotional health
_ Other: __________________________________________________
Once you've made your two lists, set aside some time to share this information with each other. Don't turn this into a gripe session.
The point of sharing your first list is to simply identify what difficult things you are both contending with that impact your marriage. The goal in sharing your second list is to remember the positive, not just the negative.

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