RECOGNITION UNDER A STREETLIGHT
WE KNOW EVERYTHING WE need to know. This knowingness speaks to us through our gut feelings, hunches, impressions, and perceptions. Yet we constantly talk ourselves out of this flawless inner wisdom.
When we fall in love (or meet someone new), we know instantly what the relationship holds in store for us. We remember our soul agreement. Yet we most often ignore it. Here’s an example from my life: I intuitively knew the exact nature of my relationship with my now-departed husband, Paul, when I first met him.
After a long, delicious, rock-climbing day in the summer of 1978, our muscles aching from the dizzying walls of Eldorado Canyon, my friend Joel and I are feeling happy and tired. We’re hungry and looking for a place to eat in town.
As we walk, we see a tall thin man approaching and waving. He knows Joel and we gather on the sidewalk to talk.
As Paul, my future husband, stands under a streetlight in the evening heat telling us about his bike ride, light shimmers around his head, creating a halo. He looks like an angel to me. I’m terrified and drawn to him at once. I know him before he says a word.
When he does speak, my world rips open into powerful soul-shaking recognition. I remember him. I feel devastating love, laughter, bliss, and loss—all at once.
As I extend my hand in greeting, I know that somehow this relationship will change me, break me apart. But the light emanating from Paul tells me that he’s my greatest teacher and I need to take the journey.
After that meeting, it takes several months for our first date to manifest—both of us knowing in the deep pools of our intuition that this was a major shift, that a cosmic crack in our worlds is about to unfold.
It takes a while to move from joyful first embrace to the stunning cancer diagnosis that left him with only two weeks left to live to holding his frail body in my arms as his spirit slipped away. Yet the journey that Paul takes me on teaches me everything I need to know about my soul mission—who I am and why I’ve dropped into this physical realm. (Although that wasn’t the lesson I wanted to learn at the time.)
Together we become spiritual travelers. We visit shamans, Native American healers who carry him to the other realms, as well as priests, therapists, nutritionists, herbalists, energy workers, and conventional cancer docs who love us passionately and weep with us at the end.
We spend too much time in hospital rooms enduring sci-fi procedures that suck our souls dry. When the room is filled with doctors, Paul’s mother’s fervent praying, endless tubes and drugs, we slide between the sheets deep into our comas—blissful, dream-filled travels to a parallel world of giggling babies and white picket fences. He builds me a house in his delirium, asking me to bring the hammer. He wants it to be solid, he says, eyes closed, pointing to the hospital room wall in front of us.
On the last day, I’ll rage, protest, and refuse to give him back to the angels who gather around the bed. And in that final moment of his crossing, he’ll show me his spirit with such clarity that it forever takes my doubt away.
Yet on that innocent, warm, happy evening of sweet dreams and sexy hope, in that one moment of meeting Paul under the street lamp, I felt the love, loss, joy, and grief all at once.
Today, fueled by the pain and wisdom of that shared journey, along with the unique gifts I brought into this lifetime, I’ve created the work that I love passionately and am successful at. As an intuitive, I see people’s great potential, what they came here to do, who they came here to be, and what their challenges are in this lifetime.
I’ve been intuitive since my childhood in New Orleans, inheriting my Creole mother’s telepathy and clairvoyance, but I didn’t understand this powerful gift until long after Paul’s death. I spent years never quite knowing what the visions meant, what to do with the dreams that came true down to the last detail, or how to decipher and share the powerful images and feelings I got when I spoke to people.
Falling in love has always opened wide my intuitive senses. Love has taught me that the heart rules intuition. We must open the heart to feel the truth of anything or anyone. To find your true work or your true love, your heart must be wide open, vulnerable, and fearless.
Copyright © 2012 by Sue Frederick