I Suck at Girls

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More About This Book

Overview

"Human beings fear the unknown. So, whatever's freaking you out, grab it by the balls and say hello. Then it ain't the unknown anymore and it ain't scary. Or I guess it could be a shitload scarier."

Fans of the #1 bestseller Sh*t My Dad Says will recognize the always-patient voice of Justin Halpern's dad as it crackles through the pages of this hysterical new book. The story begins when Justin takes his dad out to lunch to announce that he's decided to propose to his girlfriend.

"You've been dating her for four years," his dad replies. "It ain't like you found a parallel fucking universe."

But eventually he gives Justin some advice: that he should take a day off and think back over everything he's learned in life about women, relationships, and himself before making his decision. And that's just what Justin does—revisiting everything from his disastrous childhood crushes to the night he finally lost his virginity while working as a dishwasher at Hooters.

I Suck at Girls is full of his dad's patented brand of wisdom. But it's also full of new characters just as funny as his dad—from his brother, who provides insights into wedding night rituals ("You stand in one corner of the room, and she stands in the other. You each take off one piece of clothing at a time") to his first boss, who warns Justin to man up: "That's what a man does. He takes his shots and then he scrubs the shit out of some dishes." The result is a pilgrim's progress through the landscape of sex and love—by one of the funniest writers at work today.

Editorial Reviews

Publishers Weekly
Starred Review.

In a bittersweet twist of fate, it was a breakup that sent Halpern on the path that would result in over 3 million Twitter followers, a #1 New York Times bestseller (Sh*t My Dad Says), a TV deal, and ultimately, something like happiness. Beginning with the end of the relationship that resulted in him returning home to live with his father-whose irreverent, profanity-laden quips and advice was the soul of Sh*t My Dad Says-Halpern recounts his romantic fumbles in this terrifically entertaining memoir that begs for a turn on the screen (the rights have already been sold). A gifted storyteller, Halpern sheepishly relates one embarrassing event after another: stealing porn from hobos, "each of whom looked like Nick Nolte rendered in beef jerky;" a white-knuckle ride in his quest for a driver's license so he can take the car to the homecoming dance; and even a stint working at Hooters in an effort to connect with the fairer sex. Fans of his previous work will slide right into this one, as Halpern Sr. is a frequent commenter on the proceedings, and his priceless and profane bon mots are too good to pass up in this light and charming rom-com of a memoir.
(c) Copyright PWxyz, LLC. All rights reserved.

Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9780062113375
  • Publisher: HarperCollins Publishers
  • Publication date: 5/15/2012
  • Pages: 192
  • Sales rank: 16,939
  • Product dimensions: 5.60 (w) x 7.20 (h) x 0.90 (d)

Meet the Author

Justin Halpern is the author of the #1 New York Times bestseller Sh*t My Dad Says, inspired by his massively popular Twitter feed. SPOILER ALERT: He lives with his wife in Los Angeles.

Customer Reviews

Average Rating 4
( 22 )

Rating Distribution

5 Star

(12)

4 Star

(3)

3 Star

(4)

2 Star

(0)

1 Star

(3)

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See All Sort by: Showing 1 – 20 of 22 Customer Reviews

  • Posted May 15, 2012

    Really loved this more than I loved Sh*t! Excellent job -- a rea

    Really loved this more than I loved Sh*t! Excellent job -- a really great writer (and Dad is just as hilarious!).

    4 out of 9 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  NoThank you for your feedback.   Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.

  • Anonymous

    Posted May 18, 2012

    I Also Recommend:

    9781451649765

    I wish I could say I'm great with girls, but, like the author he

    I wish I could say I'm great with girls, but, like the author here, I suck at them. This book, the follow-up to his huge seller "Sh** My Dad Says" made me crack up many times. His stories of not getting the girl are downright hilarious, peppered with awesome one-liners from his dad. There are some classic moments here, that many men (and women) should relate to. I think we all have felt we totally bombed with the opposite sex at one time or another.

    I mean, losing your virginity while watching "A Few Good Men?" Stealing porn from a homeless man and then trying to bury it in the backyard? Probably the best part was when Halpern actually walked in on his parents having sex. Made me laugh and cringe at the same time! Be forewarned, though, that the language should be rated R or NC-17. This book isn't for young readers.

    This book is a great, fast, fun read. It's perfect for reading on the beach or a plane, and reminds me so, so much of my latest favorite, Anthony Youn's "In Stitches." This book is about a nerd who grew up to become a doctor, but not without his overbearing father trying to force him into medicine and away from girls. Like Halpern's dad, Youn's father has some awesome one-liners like, "You wanna go into Pediatrics? Little People, Little Dollah! Spend all day giving suckers to little kids!" If you like Halpern's books, Youn's book is right up your alley and very highly recommended as a fun, laugh-out-loud read.

    The funny moments are interspersed with touching scenes, so you end up rooting for Halpern to finally get the girl. Will he actually do it? Read on, my friend! If you, like me, suck at girls.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted May 15, 2012



    1 out of 13 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted May 25, 2012

    Justin

    He manages to say,"BLOOP!" before his dik explodes splatterin blood on her face.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  NoThank you for your feedback.   Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.

  • Anonymous

    Posted May 25, 2012

    Dea

    Oh...

    Was this review helpful? Yes  NoThank you for your feedback.   Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.

  • Anonymous

    Posted May 25, 2012

    Swat

    Handcuffs dea to a pipe and restrains justin to th ground

    Was this review helpful? Yes  NoThank you for your feedback.   Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.

  • Anonymous

    Posted May 25, 2012

    Im gone

    Was this review helpful? Yes  NoThank you for your feedback.   Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.

  • Anonymous

    Posted May 21, 2012

    Love love loved it!

    One of the funniest books i've ever read! When does the movie come out?

    Was this review helpful? Yes  NoThank you for your feedback.   Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.

  • Anonymous

    Posted May 21, 2012

    Im horny

    Someon answer me pls

    0 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted May 20, 2012

    This book is amazing, I loved Sh*t My Dad Says but this one is

    This book is amazing, I loved Sh*t My Dad Says but this one is better, i would and will recommend it to anyone.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted May 19, 2012

    How can you not love these books?!?

    Justin, tell your father I love him, even though he said most people don't like him, I beg to differ!!

    0 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted May 15, 2012

    No text was provided for this review.

  • Anonymous

    Posted May 23, 2012

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    Posted May 15, 2012

    No text was provided for this review.

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    Posted May 22, 2012

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  • Anonymous

    Posted May 16, 2012

    No text was provided for this review.

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    Posted May 15, 2012

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    Posted May 17, 2012

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    Posted May 20, 2012

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    Posted May 24, 2012

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