I Suck at Girls (Enhanced Edition)

I Suck at Girls (Enhanced Edition)

4.0 141
by Justin Halpern

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In I Suck at Girls, the enhanced e-book edition, Justin's famously opinionated father goes on camera for the first time, offering life advice on topics from marriage to profanity and debating the appeal of pornography in seven exclusive videos. Justin's father also tells his version of raising Justin with an essay written in prose as hilarious and

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In I Suck at Girls, the enhanced e-book edition, Justin's famously opinionated father goes on camera for the first time, offering life advice on topics from marriage to profanity and debating the appeal of pornography in seven exclusive videos. Justin's father also tells his version of raising Justin with an essay written in prose as hilarious and poignant as his son's. In addition the enhanced e-book features nine exclusive photos from Justin's childhood.

"Human beings fear the unknown. So, whatever's freaking you out, grab it by the balls and say hello. Then it ain't the unknown anymore and it ain't scary. Or I guess it could be a shitload scarier."

Fans of the #1 bestseller Sh*t My Dad Says will recognize the always-patient voice of Justin Halpern's dad as it crackles through the pages of this hysterical new book. The story begins when Justin takes his dad out to lunch to announce that he's decided to propose to his girlfriend.

"You've been dating her for four years," his dad replies. "It ain't like you found a parallel fucking universe." But eventually he gives Justin some advice: that he should take a day off and think back over everything he's learned in life about women, relationships, and himself before making his decision. And that's just what Justin does—revisiting everything from his disastrous childhood crushes to the night he finally lost his virginity while working as a dishwasher at Hooters.

I Suck at Girls is full of his dad's patented brand of wisdom. But it's also full of new characters just as funny as his dad—from his brother, who provides insights into wedding night rituals ("You stand in one corner of the room, and she stands in the other. You each take off one piece of clothing at a time") to his first boss, who warns Justin to man up: "That's what a man does. He takes his shots and then he scrubs the shit out of some dishes." The result is a pilgrim's progress through the landscape of sex and love—by one of the funniest writers at work today.

Please note that due to the large file size of these special features this enhanced e-book may take longer to download then a standard e-book.

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HarperCollins Publishers
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I Suck at Girls 4 out of 5 based on 1 ratings. 141 reviews.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I wish I could say I'm great with girls, but, like the author here, I suck at them. This book, the follow-up to his huge seller "Sh** My Dad Says" made me crack up many times. His stories of not getting the girl are downright hilarious, peppered with awesome one-liners from his dad. There are some classic moments here, that many men (and women) should relate to. I think we all have felt we totally bombed with the opposite sex at one time or another. I mean, losing your virginity while watching "A Few Good Men?" Stealing porn from a homeless man and then trying to bury it in the backyard? Probably the best part was when Halpern actually walked in on his parents having sex. Made me laugh and cringe at the same time! Be forewarned, though, that the language should be rated R or NC-17. This book isn't for young readers. This book is a great, fast, fun read. It's perfect for reading on the beach or a plane, and reminds me so, so much of my latest favorite, Anthony Youn's "In Stitches." This book is about a nerd who grew up to become a doctor, but not without his overbearing father trying to force him into medicine and away from girls. Like Halpern's dad, Youn's father has some awesome one-liners like, "You wanna go into Pediatrics? Little People, Little Dollah! Spend all day giving suckers to little kids!" If you like Halpern's books, Youn's book is right up your alley and very highly recommended as a fun, laugh-out-loud read. The funny moments are interspersed with touching scenes, so you end up rooting for Halpern to finally get the girl. Will he actually do it? Read on, my friend! If you, like me, suck at girls.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
This book is amazing, I loved Sh*t My Dad Says but this one is better, i would and will recommend it to anyone.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
One of the funniest books i've ever read! When does the movie come out?
YoyoMitch More than 1 year ago
After reading Mr. Halpern’s first book, Sh*t My Dad Says, I was excited for the chance to visit again with my (now) favorite neurotic. His first memoir, detailing some of the things his dad has said was one the most hilarious books I read in 2010 and is one of the funniest books I have ever read. His father, a retired Oncologist, has a unique, honest, unvarnished opinion about whatever the subject at hand and the author has done very well in reporting some of those opinions. In this edition, the author seeks his father’s in put regarding his plans to ask his girlfriend to marry him. His father’s suggestion, take a day to consider “what he had learned about (himself), and about women up to that point in (his) life” (p. 9) and then decide what he wants to do. What follows is part memoir, part love story and all humorous. The structure of the book is similar to the first. Mr. Halpern recalls his relationships to the female gender beginning in elementary school. His father’s influence, observations and commentary regarding this process is profane, profound, without rancor, straightforward and, as he is not intending to be humorous, makes his statements riotously funny. The book is actually a genuinely sincere account of the author’s search for the core of himself and his being ready for the commitment of marriage. There is much with which the average person to connect in this book. Mr. Halpern does not hide his eccentricities, foibles, neuroses nor does he seek to make any effort to make himself look like anything but the person he is. His father’s unconditional love for the author, shown in his father’s repeated confrontation of the author’s peculiarities while fully accepting that his son is okay as he is, gives “Justin” the safety to completely accept himself. The freedom of being so transparent can only be found in complete acceptance, even if the transparencies reveal a textbook case of Self-Doubt. This book is NOT for those of: youthful eyes, sensitivity to harsh language or anyone who cannot see humor in the absurdity of life. It is a book easily read but not one to rush through. Anyone reading this book will want to allow plenty of time for hearty laughter and to ponder at what, exactly, is being said while being so funny. The book is not meant to deliver “a message,” by the time I reached the end, however, I was left feeling I had learned something of importance. Now, the wait begins for his next book begins; I expect this one to be when his first child arrives. Now THAT will be a read of extraordinary significance.
PurseHo More than 1 year ago
book is a light, fun read and cracks you up. I enjoyed this book as much as I did some of David Sedaris' work. I really sympathize w/ Justin's dealings with girls. Made me think about my life and how I suck at boys. hahaha. And the bits with the dad...omg. awesome. my only wish is that the book had more content. I was sad when I got to the end and realized there was no more.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Enjoyed every bit of this story. Great read!
lanny123 More than 1 year ago
I can olny hope that Justin Halpern writes more!
Gobsens More than 1 year ago
I don't think I've ever laughed so hard when I have read a book. Except for maybe his first book Sh*t my Dad Says. Don't read this in a library, its too funny to giggle quietly
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
This book made me reflect on my personal voyage through the wonderful world of dating prior to my marriage. After reading it, I can honestly say that I feel better about my own experiences! This book is an extremely hilarious! A must read for any guy....
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Please read! Its well worth you money!
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Awesome book easy read actual laugh out loud
Strich More than 1 year ago
While there's a lot of language in the first and some here as well, if you can get past that, you'll really enjoy this book. It's heartfelt and really shows you some past about the author. It's very funny at times and sometimes kind of sad. It's a quick read as well. I finished it in a weekend.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Hilarious i kept waking my husband up laughing. Has bad language etc bt nothing terrible
bookchickdi More than 1 year ago
A few years ago, Justin Halpern rocked the book world with his best-selling book, Sh*t My Dad Says, based on his Twitter feed where he just wrote hilarious stuff his cranky dad told him. The tweets turned into a book which turned into a TV show that did not do the book justice. In my review of the book, I said that you could tell who in my family was reading the book by the burst of laughter coming from various rooms in the apartment. My adult sons and I loved the profane, funny and yes, touching book. Halpern is back with another gem of a book, I Suck at Girls, about his (mis)adventures with the fairer sex. Once again there is plenty of wit and wisdom from his father, but also lots of heart. As the only women in a family of men, I found that this book gave me a window into the world of what boys and men really think and feel about women. Halpern is a shy guy, and to his utter dismay, still a virgin at the age of twenty. His recounting of his prom night is a sad one, but I bet it's probably closer to many people's experiences than we are willing to admit. High school wasn't a happy time for him, so he was thrilled to be attending San Diego State University ("Harvard, without the smart people", as his dad called it), where he hoped to get a fresh start. About a fifth of his high school graduating class was going to SDSU, so his hope that no one would know him was dashed when he was referred to as "the guy who wears sweatpants to school sometimes." Halpern writes "Ideally, I'd like to be known as something other than that." He and his friend Ryan work hard all summer and saved their money to go to Europe, where they had heard that the girls all want to have sex. They decide to go to Ibiza because Ryan read in a guide book that the parties there are crazy. Along the way they meet a great character, Vietnam Joe, who doesn't speak much English, but manages to get a pretty Mexican girl. Halpern and his buddy get jobs washing dishes at Hooters, and he finally gets a girlfriend. He gets dumped and gets a job at another restaurant and dates another waitress, who is a bit crazy. Finally he meets a woman whom he think she could have a long term relationship with, but she lives in San Francisco. I Suck at Girls is the kind of book that appeals to men and women. Men will read it and relate to Halpern's life. Women should read it to learn about the interior life of men; if you think they are all dogs, you would be well served to read it to learn about just how insecure men are and how much courage it takes to approach a woman. And I love his dad even more after reading this book. I have to give this book a rating of 5 of 5 because any book that makes me laugh that hard and then want to give the poor guy a hug deserves it.
Tomsson4 More than 1 year ago
This is the first book I have read written by Justin Halpern and I found it to be very funny and enjoyable. It also contains some important life lessons courtesy of both he and his Dad.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Just as great as Sh*t my Dad Says, I really enjoyed this book, very quick read.
Anonymous 14 days ago
A good read
Anonymous 3 months ago
Even better than the first. I hope he writes another.
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Very funny
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