I Thought It Was Just Me (But it Isn't): Telling the Truth About Perfectionism, Inadequacy, and Power

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I Thought It Was Just Me (but it isn't): Telling the Truth About Perfectionism, Inadequacy, and Power (eBook) Pub. Date: 2/1/2007 Publisher: Penguin Group (USA)
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I Thought It Was Just Me (But it Isn't): Telling the Truth About Perfectionism, Inadequacy, and Power Pub. Date: 12/27/2007 Publisher: Penguin Group (USA) Incorporated
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I Thought It Was Just Me: Women Reclaiming Power and Courage in a Culture of Shame Pub. Date: 2/1/2007 Publisher: Penguin Group (USA) Incorporated

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Overview

The quest for perfection is exhausting and unrelenting. We spend too much precious time and energy managing perception and creating carefully edited versions of ourselves to show to the world. As hard as we try, we can't seem to turn off the tapes that fill our heads with messages like, 'Never good enough!' and 'What will people think'?

Why? What fuels this unattainable need to look like we always have it all together? At first glance we might think it’s because we admire perfection, but that’s not the case. We are actually the most attracted to people we consider to be authentic and down-to-earth. We love people who are 'real' ? we're drawn to those who both embrace their imperfections and radiate self-acceptance.

There is a constant barrage of social expectations that teach us that being imperfect is synonymous with being inadequate. Everywhere we turn, there are messages that tell us who, what and how we're supposed to be. So, we learn to hide our struggles and protect ourselves from shame, judgment, criticism and blame by seeking safety in pretending and perfection.

Based on seven years of ground-breaking research and hundreds of interviews, I Thought It Was Just Me shines a long-overdue light on an important truth: Our imperfections are what connect us to each other and to our humanity. Our vulnerabilities are not weaknesses; they are powerful reminders to keep our hearts and minds open to the reality that we're all in this together.

Dr. Brown writes, ?We need our lives back. It’s time to reclaim the gifts of imperfection ? the courage to be real, the compassion we need to love ourselves and others, and the connection that gives true purpose and meaning to life. These are the gifts that bring love, laughter, gratitude, empathy and joy into our lives.?

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9781592403356
Publisher: Penguin Group (USA) Incorporated
Publication date: 12/27/2007
Pages: 336
Sales rank: 38,138
Product dimensions: 5.38 (w) x 8.02 (h) x 0.77 (d)

Meet the Author

Brené Brown, Ph.D., LMSW, is an educator, writer and nationally renowned lecturer, as well as a member of the research faculty at the University of Houston Graduate College of Social Work, where she studies empathy, shame and vulnerability. She has dedicated her career to understanding how we develop meaningful connections in our lives and how we can become more resilient to the emotions and experiences that are barriers to healthy, loving relationships.

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karmacourage

Posted August 21, 2009

Reading this book changed my life. I had an epiphany about the the shame I carried around and how to become shame resilient.

Buy this book and go log in to her website - www.ordinarycourage.com - which has a read-a-long that goes along with this book. It is the most interesting, artistic, colorful, and informative website I have ever seen! She has podcasts that go along with chapters of this book. According to her, we all have shame, it is just more destructive to some people than others.
Dr. Brene Brown has a special gift in being so knowledgable about shame and guilt, and then relating that knowledge to her readers by telling stories. She is able to explain how shame and the search for perfection negatively affects our lives. Then she tells the reader how to become shame resilient. I had an epiphany about shame when I read this book and it has brought peace and healing to me. I feel like I have gotten to know Dr. Brown by reading her book and doing the read-a-long on her website. She is the real deal.

5 out of 5 people found this review helpful.
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DavielleCA

Posted May 30, 2009

Everyone should read I THOUGHT IT WAS JUST ME (but it isn't) by Brene Brown

I purchased ITIWJM (bii) a few months ago, because I joined author Brene Brown's READ-ALONG (an online adventure, complete with podcasts, assignments that were fun, creative and simple - yet eye opening) and I recommend it to EVERYONE. "Shame" and "Perfectionism" are things that affect every single one of us, on some level, to some degree, in some areas of our lives. RECOGNIZING IT and DEALING WITH IT is key to a healthier, happier life and lifestyle. Relationships improve, our physical & emotional health improves, and we can BE without feeling "less than" any more. IF YOU CAN GO TO BRENE'S BLOG, all the podcasts are still available (see "older posts", I think). She's at http://www.ordinarycourage.com/ and you'll be glad you did. I cannot recommend this book, and her Read-Along (which wrapped up just yesterday, 5/29/09), HIGHLY enough. It's been a remarkable journey and life-changing for me. DO LISTEN TO HER TALK ABOUT EACH CHAPTER via those podcasts. It makes the book / her work COME ALIVE.

5 out of 6 people found this review helpful.
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jmcg

Posted June 22, 2009

I Also Recommend:

A must for anyone wanting to know why they do what they do. I have bought 2 more copies since I started reading it!

Thought provoking and informative. This is for anyone that is looking for self awareness, self discovery and validation/permission for self care. Though the author talks about vaied lifestyles, it is easy to relate to the experience shared.

3 out of 3 people found this review helpful.
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dawson1947

Posted May 7, 2012

I would recommend this book

I have not completed the book but so far it has proven to be a pretty good read. I would recommend this book to others.
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Anonymous

Posted May 4, 2012

Everyone should have a copy!

That's all! This is a very important subject that is never truly discussed - SHAME. Everyone needs to have a copy of this book on hand and/or Brene Brown's other book, "The Gifts of Imperfection"
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I Thought It Was Just Me (But it Isn't): Telling the Truth About Perfectionism, Inadequacy, and Power

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