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If I Were in Charge Rules Would Be Different!
     

If I Were in Charge Rules Would Be Different!

by James Proimos
 
In James Proimos' first collection of poems, we find odes to spaghetti, reflections on stinky feet, and an argument to rethink baths. We meet General Mary Rumpus, the leader of the war on vegetables, Milton the Bully, who gets his in the end, and Billy Snuglag, who picks teams almost as well as he picks his nose.

Overview

In James Proimos' first collection of poems, we find odes to spaghetti, reflections on stinky feet, and an argument to rethink baths. We meet General Mary Rumpus, the leader of the war on vegetables, Milton the Bully, who gets his in the end, and Billy Snuglag, who picks teams almost as well as he picks his nose.

Editorial Reviews

Publishers Weekly - Publishers Weekly
With poems like "My Feet Stink. Does Your Nose Smell?" and "Ode to Spaghetti" James Proimos captures the kid's perspective in If I Were in Charge the Rules Would Be Different! Proimos's humorous b&w drawings (such as one of a boy bowing to a bowl of spaghetti with an "I'm not worthy" thought bubble above his head) make good, silly company. (Mar.) Copyright 2002 Cahners Business Information.
Children's Literature
Ah, yes, the dream of a child to rule the world, or at least to set the rules at home and perhaps in the schoolroom. What a different world this would be! The title poem in this collection lets Mommy know that because she didn't eat her salami and has socks on both feet and keeps her room too neat, she may be sent to her room where she will have to stay until she can "learn to whine and pout." The author's ugly, evil "monster in the next room," who must be fought off, turns out to be his little brother. One poem is written from the perspective of a belly button and several deal with food issues. There is an "Ode to Spaghetti" as well as an "Ode to Asparagus" although the former is complimentary and the latter sarcastic. Then there is Paul Carolina who "flushed himself to China" and is then flushed around the globe so that he sees "the world from his toilet bowl." Giggles are guaranteed as kids read the poems and take in the clever illustrations. 2002, Scholastic Press, $16.95. Ages 5 to 9. Reviewer: Carolyn Mott Ford
School Library Journal - School Library Journal
Gr 3-5-The upside down title on the cover will be readers' first clue that a zany journey is about to begin. The subjects range from absolutely silly (belly button lint, a cat that is allergic to cats, and a cow's udder) to more serious (grandmothers, friendship, and computers) but all have giggle potential. "The 4 Most Important Things You Can Do to Keep Warm When You Go Outdoors" is representative: "Put on a pair of extra-thick socks;/make sure you are well fed./Don't forget the really itchy sweater,/and wear a baboon upon your head." Proimos knows the appeal of nose-picking, burps, and other slightly naughty subjects: "I once ate a caterpillar,/it's no lie./Yesterday I burped-/out came a butterfly." The combination of a high-spirited child's voice and funny, unsophisticated line drawings is reminiscent of Dav Pilkey's work, but Proimos definitely has a unique style and an ear for what kids find humorous.-Lee Bock, Glenbrook Elementary School, Pulaski, WI Copyright 2001 Cahners Business Information.
Kirkus Reviews
Proimos's (The Many Adventures of Johnny Mutton, not reviewed, etc.) poetry packs a wacky punch. In a debut collection, he offers over 60 works, addressing such subjects as siblings and parents, friends and enemies, homework, food, and pets. From musical ditties like "Lola, the Singing Octopus" ("I'm in love with Lola the Octopus / and the angelic way she sings. / Oh, how I wish I could marry her / but who can afford eight rings?") to the oddball odyssey of "Paul Carolina Flushed Himself to China," Proimos has something for everyone. In the titular poem, a big-mouthed boy imagines turning the tables on his meddling mom: "It hurts me to lecture you, Mommy, / but you didn't eat all your salami. / Plus your room is way too neat / and you have socks on both your feet. . . . Oh, after all you've put me through, what am I gonna do with you? . . ." Proimos's Dav Pilkey-esque black-and-white illustrations accompany each. One funny vignette for "A Poem About My Uncle Larry (Who Never Wore A Suit) and His Wedding" shows an unbelieving bride wincing at her bathing-suit-wearing bridegroom. Sure to inspire laughter, this rib-tickling read-aloud may also get kids writing. As Proimos says in "Surprise, Surprise"-the collections final verse-"If you want another poem / the writing's up to you." (Poetry. 5-10)

Product Details

ISBN-13:
9780439208642
Publisher:
Scholastic, Inc.
Publication date:
03/28/2002
Pages:
80
Product dimensions:
8.90(w) x 11.20(h) x 0.30(d)
Lexile:
600L (what's this?)
Age Range:
4 - 8 Years

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