If You Ever Needed Friends,It's Now

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Teaches young moms to meet their need for finding and maintaining friendships during this unique season of having small children.

How to find new friends—and keep the ones you've got Your friends walk beside you, making everything about life—especially motherhood—more fun. But it can be difficult to find time for friendship once you become a mother. Motherhood is wonderful, but its consuming nature can leave your life out of balance. That's when friendships become the lifeline ...

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Overview

Teaches young moms to meet their need for finding and maintaining friendships during this unique season of having small children.

How to find new friends—and keep the ones you've got Your friends walk beside you, making everything about life—especially motherhood—more fun. But it can be difficult to find time for friendship once you become a mother. Motherhood is wonderful, but its consuming nature can leave your life out of balance. That's when friendships become the lifeline that makes all the difference. How do you find time for supportive friendships in the midst of a busy mom's schedule?

Author Biography: Mary Beth Lagerborg is publishing manager at MOPS International, Inc. She is the author or coauthor of several books, including Once-a-Month Cooking and Beyond Macaroni and Cheese. Mary Beth lives in Littleton, Colorado with her husband, Alex and has three grown sons.;Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott are codirectors of the Center for Relationship Development at Seattle Pacific University (SPU), a groundbreaking program dedicated to teaching the basics of good relationships. Les Parrott is a professor of clinical psychology at SPU, and Leslie is a marriage and family therapist at SPU. The Parrotts are authors of the Gold Medallion Award-winning Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts, Becoming Soul Mates, Love Is, Relationships, and When Bad Things Happen to Good Marriages. They have been featured on Oprah, CBS This Morning, CNN, and The View, and in USA Today and the New York Times. They are also frequent guest speakers and have written for a variety of magazines. The Parrotts serve as marriage ambassadors for the Oklahoma governor's ten-year Marriage Initiative. They live in Seattle, Washington, with their two sons. www.RealRelationships.com

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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9780310235149
  • Publisher: Zondervan
  • Publication date: 10/1/2000
  • Series: Little Books for Busy Moms
  • Pages: 112
  • Product dimensions: 4.49 (w) x 7.12 (h) x 0.34 (d)

Read an Excerpt

Chapter OneChapter 1 Motherhood If You Ever Needed Friends, It's Now Good friends—can you imagine life without them? Can you imagine even a day without them? You've known them for years but still can't wait to see them next week for lunch. Loyal and lasting, your girlfriends have stood by you in good and bad, like a pair of boots that have worn well. They are the women you wouldn't trade for anything—and if you didn't have them, you'd trade almost anything to get them. The world is a wilderness without good friends. And so is motherhood. If you ever needed friends, it's when you become a mom. Better than an experienced pathfinder leading a safari adventure, a friend can guide a new mom through the endless aisles and styles of nursery furniture at your local baby superstore. Better than a best-selling motivational speaker, a friend can give you just the right pep talk when you feel you'll never fit into the jeans you wore before pregnancy. And better than a compassionate counselor, a friend can hold your hand during those first nervous nights with your newborn. But most of all, a friend can simply walk beside you, making everything about life—especially motherhood—more fun. Most moms couldn't survive motherhood without a circle of friends. Actually, this “circle of friends” more closely resembles a triangle. Many people have contact with between 500 and 2,500 acquaintances each year, representing the base of the triangle. Then there are the 20 to 100 “core friends” toward the middle of the triangle. These are the people we know by first name, those whom we see somewhat regularly. At the top of the triangle are one to seven intimate friends. These are the people closely involved in our lives, those whose names are likely engraved on our hearts. This first chapter stands as a tribute to friendship. It's dedicated to the incomprehensible value our girlfriends bring to the enterprise of motherhood. We begin by exploring why this is so. Friends Help Moms Enter Motherhood Before Baby John came into our lives, someone sent us parenting “advice” in the form of a humorous card. “Before you finally go ahead and have children,” the card began, “find a couple who are already parents and berate them about their methods of discipline, lack of patience, and their appallingly low tolerance levels. Suggest ways in which they might improve their child's sleeping habits, toilet training, table manners, and overall behavior.” Then came this line: “Enjoy it, it'll be the last time in your life you will have all the answers.” We had a good laugh the first time we read this card before we had our baby, but we've laughed about it even more since then. Knowing what you think others should do as parents is very different from knowing what to do yourself. Parenting is a bewildering task. As psychologists with two doctorates between us, Les and I never felt more incompetent and helpless than when we brought our baby home from the hospital. Sure, we'd read the books, watched the instructional videos, and talked to our doctors. I'd talked at length with my mom and mother-in-law, who both live in distant cities. We had prepared as much as any new parents reasonably could. But no amount of preparation prepares you enough. That's where friends come in. I'll never forget what my friend Barbara did the day before we brought John home from the hospital. She got the key to our house from my husband and cleaned every room of our messy abode from top to bottom. Not only that, she loaded the fridge with ready-to-eat food and left a fresh vase of flowers on the table. As if that weren't enough, Barbara, an experienced mother of two, proved ready and waiting to help me enter this new land of motherhood. Day or night, she was always available to show me the ropes. Without a doubt, Barbara has been one of my dearest motherhood mentors, giving me answers when she had them and finding them when she didn't. Then there is Sharon. With a gift for interior design and the professional qualifications to match, she voluntarily helped me outfit John's nursery. I don't mean she cut out magazine pictures and made suggestions for drapery colors. Out of sheer friendship, she used precious time driving all over Seattle looking for just the right fabrics and styles to fit our taste. Knowing that my difficult pregnancy meant giving up my mobility for several months, she even did my shopping for me. She brought swatches and samples to my bedside and arranged everything the way I wanted it. To top it off, she purchased the perfect yellow and blue quilt as a gift to hang on the wall above John's crib. Why did she do all this? Because she's my friend and she didn't want me beginning this joyful journey without the right stuff. Friends are like that. They help new moms enter motherhood with greater ease. Friends help us take our first steps of mommyhood with more confidence and comfort.
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