If You Want Closure in Your Relationship, Start with Your Legs: A Guide to Understanding Men [NOOK Book]



Want to find real, committed love? The bodyguard for women's hearts reveals the minds of men in this tough-love guide to relationships.

After decades of preying on women as a pimp and a hustler, Big Boom knows all the games men play. He's now given up his player card, ...
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If You Want Closure in Your Relationship, Start with Your Legs: A Guide to Understanding Men

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Want to find real, committed love? The bodyguard for women's hearts reveals the minds of men in this tough-love guide to relationships.

After decades of preying on women as a pimp and a hustler, Big Boom knows all the games men play. He's now given up his player card, exposing the motivations of men and providing women with down-to-earth advice on how to create a fulfilling, loving relationship.

From sex with the ex to first dates, from the first look to the morning after, Boom leaves nothing out. His straight-talking advice exposes women's weaknesses and is invaluable to any woman determined to avoid common mistakes that lead to heartbreak.

This unique guide will show women not only how to find true love with Mr. Right, but also how to avoid Mr. Never-Gonna-Happen, Mr. Infidelity, and a variety of other Mr. Wrongs.
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Editorial Reviews

From Barnes & Noble
"Big Boom" wants you to learn how to avoid the type of man he once was. This smooth-talking ex-pimp and hustler knew how to spot women's weaknesses, and for years, he made his living by doing just that. Now reformed and happily married, he shares his expertise in this no-nonsense guide to spotting Mr. Wrong before he can lead you down the road to regret.
From the Publisher
"Boom has made the biggest turnaround in a person's life that I've ever known. I couldn't be more proud of him and this book. If You Want Closure in Your Relationship, Start with Your Legs is absolutely the best advice on men and relationships that a woman can buy. Boom knows what he's talking about and he isn't afraid to tell the truth!" — Steve Harvey, Steve Harvey Morning Show
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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9781416559474
  • Publisher: Touchstone
  • Publication date: 6/26/2007
  • Sold by: SIMON & SCHUSTER
  • Format: eBook
  • Pages: 224
  • Sales rank: 757,314
  • File size: 317 KB

Meet the Author

A celebrity bodyguard for the past fifteen years, Big Boom is happily married and lives in Plano, Texas. Visit Boom at his website: bigboombooks.com.
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Read an Excerpt



When a man moves too fast and has multiple, meaningless partners, he's only bursting blood cells and allowing bad energy to enter the woman.

I've had good women, bad women, and sometimes I've had both at the same time. In my past, I searched for women who were whores.

I looked for women who sold their bodies and gave men their money, their food stamps, and their welfare checks. I even dated women who strip-danced. Throughout all of this I've found that opposites attract, but a whore who acts right and also has your back, she's hard to find.

I've gone as far as to make women have sex with other women and do what I want them to do, just to make me happy. I've had women who would do stupid stuff just because I asked them to do it and they wanted me around.

For about forty-seven years of my life, I was attracted to these kinds of women...whorish women...women I could have fun with. I would put women together and watch them go at it. To me it was fun having them do wild and crazy things. Now, I'm attracted to women with qualities that are totally opposite to those kinds of women.

I dated a young lady in the cocaine world for a few years, so I've seen and done it all. During this time all I did was spend money. Women would make the money and I would spend it. I was a very uncontrollable guy during that time of my life.

Through the years, when I was about forty-seven years old...No!...I'll say at the age of forty-five, I started wanting to change, but I didn't know how to change, and when I began making changes my friends would say, "We're losing you...we're losing another soldier, we're losing another man, we're losing another good one." This would cause me to jump back on their side and that caused me to get back into the game. I was in the game a long time and many things that it brought to my life I'll discuss in this book.


I attracted lots of women because I was considered the main attraction to them. I understood the game and what the game was all about, but when I started telling women what I wanted them to do and what I wanted out of life, they would try to be that special person, but that person wasn't really who they were.

I called it my blue light special because it was like going into a discount store -- the blue light directs you to the aisles where the deals are. Not knowing this, I set myself up for a fall. These same women would start tricking me and turned out to be the kind of women I didn't want. I later found out that many of the women I encountered pretended to be who they thought I wanted them to be.

Each time I entered into a new relationship and tried to make it work, the woman's true colors eventually came out and that would set me back. It made me realize that I needed to stop telling women what I wanted, because they might not be themselves but instead try to be the special of the moment in hopes of the big purchase.

As I got older I became tired of being the type of man I had become, so I decided that each year I would try to change something about myself. I would improve the areas of my life that I thought were flawed. For me, the game had run its course, it wasn't fun anymore. So I began to work on me.


A woman can have a good man, but the problem could be that she's no good for that man! A man wants sex, but a woman wants romance and material possessions. Sometimes it seems as if a man and a woman are from different worlds. It's as if men are from the East Side and women are from the West Side.

In their relationships men and women may not realize how different they really are, but it's through understanding and acceptance of the obvious and less obvious differences that they can achieve a truly great relationship.


I ran into a friend I grew up with named Stanley. He reminded me of how nervous I would get when I first started talking to girls on the phone. I was a good talker, but I would freeze up and become insecure, especially when I saw them in person.

Stanley was good at talking to the girls. He enjoyed them and had fun and they loved him. A lot of times I'd put Stanley on the phone to talk to girls. I would tell him what to say and what to ask and he didn't have a problem doing it. I learned how to do it over time and as I got older I couldn't quit talking to women.

By the time I was seventeen, I was singing in a band. They called me the ghetto kid and I had my game down.

We wrote a couple of records and some of the lyrics were:

You played at the game and loved and lost and now the time has come for you to pay the cost. The price was high but you knew all along you'd have to pay if you did me wrong. And another part was my love was there every night and day, can't figure out why you treat me this way. I gave you joy in return for hurt, never again because it just won't work. You think I'm gone be a fool for you? You'd better hold your breath until you turn blue. You better get it together, get a brand-new start or you gone be left with a broken heart. It says...Quit jaw jacking, booty smacking; skinning and grinning; let's stop the chatter, let's get down to the matter.

I will never forget it. Those were my lines. I was real smooth.


My real turnaround came when I married a lady I hardly even knew. I knew her from talking to her on the telephone. I thought I could take any woman, treat her real good, give her what she wanted, and I could make her be the ideal woman for me.

But that wasn't necessarily true. You see, the biggest mistake a man makes is when he believes he can make a woman do and be who he wants by giving her gifts and material things.

Since what I used to do didn't work, I asked God to help me determine what I could do for Him since nothing detrimental happened to me when I was being deceptive and doing wrong in my life. The Holy Spirit revealed to me that God saved me for this journey I am now embarking on.

Since I'm a bodyguard for the stars by trade, I decided to protect the ones (women) I've been hurting. So now people can just call me Boom, the Bodyguard for Women's Hearts.

Because I've changed my life, I don't have to look behind my back or turn off the cell phone before I go into my home. I want brothers to understand that I sleep peacefully now. The more women I help, the more good women will be available to provide men with what they truly need.

Women have taught me that you don't have to fight a woman in order to gain her love or dedication.

Copyright © 2007 by Big Boom Freeman

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Table of Contents











Eight A MAN






Fourteen FRIENDS

Fifteen DATING


Seventeen CHANGE


Nineteen LOVE


Twenty-One CAREERS

Twenty-Two MONEY

Twenty-Three SEX

Twenty-Four DOWN LOW



Twenty-Seven ADVICE

Twenty-Eight FIGHTING

Twenty-Nine LEAVING


Thirty-One LYING

Thirty-Two GET A LIFE

Thirty-Three DEATH

A Final Word About Boom 191


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Customer Reviews

Average Rating 3.5
( 14 )
Rating Distribution

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Sort by: Showing 1 – 15 of 14 Customer Reviews
  • Posted December 5, 2012

    and so sexism and slut shaming lives

    and so sexism and slut shaming lives

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted July 5, 2012



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  • Anonymous

    Posted July 5, 2012


    Yeah thts fine

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  • Anonymous

    Posted July 5, 2012


    Thx heads back to res 3

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted June 13, 2012


    Eh.. I got half way through the book, and gave up.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Posted February 19, 2009

    I Also Recommend:

    This helps, Women wake up

    Boom i could have not written a better book about my relationship, with men. Thanks for helping me with some insight on what i need to improve in my relationship with not only men, but with God put him first and everything else will fall in place.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted October 10, 2007


    'A Guide to Understanding Men' taught me absolutely nothing. I am very disappointed in author Big Boom for giving this old and known advice. This is the millennium and most of the issues have occurred and are already known - or should be known. I expected this book to teach me some new techniques about men. Offer some new insight. However, it did not, and as a result, it was not good. It refreshed my memory of the past relationships I encountered in my life. I felt like this book should've targeted 'chicken-heads' or younger adults, but it was not suitable for women. Overall, I rate this book a 3. I believe Big Boom could have added more updated news about 'THE GAME,' however the Game remains the same. I will urge younger adults to read this book because maybe it will make a difference in their lives.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted July 25, 2007

    A must read for teen age girls, but a Big Bore for a real woman !

    I thought that the book made a lot of valid points about ' relationship' between man and woman. However all of the advice that is given in this book is something that a real woman should already know anyway. This book should be required reading for promiscuous teenage girls, maybe then it would be useful reading. Overall , my opinion is don't waste your time buying it just wait 4 months for it to show up in your local supermarket bargain bin.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted June 20, 2007

    Sometimes, the truth really does hurt

    I have read this book at least twice, and I am happy to know that someone cares enough about women to tell the absolute truth. If you are looking for truth, I strongly recommend a book such as this. If you are not ready and willing to change some things in your life, this book may not be for you. If you are ready to get on with your life and put your past behind, then I recommend this book highly. Being an author myself, and trying to overcome the pain of being molested over and over again by a relative and being too afraid to speak out or to speak up for a matter of fact, this was detrimental for me. Now, we have someone that has dealt with his pain of abusing women, and now he wants to reach out and help women overcome their pain and not try to cover it up. To me, this man should be appreciated and cherished. How many souls will he reach by telling the truth? I believe he will reach millions. And, may God forever bless him for reaching out and caring for the souls of women.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted June 17, 2007

    Best advice on men and relationships.

    Boom knows what he is talking about! Thank you for writing this book great book easy read. God Bless you and your family!

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted May 31, 2007

    Not a bad reading.....

    At the beginning of reading this book, I assumed, ok here is another former pimp trying to claim he is not pimpin women any more, but just doing it on a whole different level such as Michael Baisden 'Arthur of ¿Never Satisfied: How and Why Men Cheat¿'. However, while reading the book, I could not put it down. I must admit some of it could be hard to swallow if you have made a lot of mistakes when it comes to men and someone is giving you hard talk about it. The vibe I got from this book is that Big Boom is trying to make amends to all of the women he has hurt while at the same time he is trying to school you on how to not just improve yourself but your relationships as well. It¿s funny, insightful, and honest. I would recommend this book as a good read to anyone who really wants some help as to why their relationships fail and what they can do to change that.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted June 10, 2007

    Not as good as I thought it was going to be

    This book was not as good as I thought it was going to be. I brought this book after reading his article in Essence, but it didn't measure up. He did have some good advice in their, but some of the things he said to me was obsurd. If you really want to understand men read Tariq Nasheed books.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted January 25, 2010

    No text was provided for this review.

  • Anonymous

    Posted February 10, 2009

    No text was provided for this review.

  • Anonymous

    Posted April 10, 2012

    No text was provided for this review.

Sort by: Showing 1 – 15 of 14 Customer Reviews

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