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I'm Counting to 10 . . . , by parents Jahnna Beecham and Malcolm Hillgartner, chronicles the lives of a slightly offbeat couple and their two ...
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I'm Counting to 10 . . . , by parents Jahnna Beecham and Malcolm Hillgartner, chronicles the lives of a slightly offbeat couple and their two young kids with 45 humorous anecdotes. Not for the faint of heart, or for those in pre-parent years (they may choose not to have children after reading this book). Parents in the trenches, however, driving minivans filled with Happy Meal containers, discarded clothing and melted crayons, will find inspiration and understanding in I'm Counting to 10 . . .
To show their firsthand understanding of the subject, Beecham and Hillgartner confess their own parenting shortcomings ("There are times when I've served the kids cereal in bowls that I'm not quite sure have been cleaned or just licked clean by the dogs.") and share their reassuring discoveries ("At first we worried everything would kill him. Then we realized almost nothing could.").
I'm Counting to 10 . . . also offers clever tips from toilet training (pour blue cake decorating sprinkles in the toilet and dare your child to turn them green) to home improvement (let your kids make a game out of tearing off old wallpaper) to finding the perfect baby sitter (only hire sitters who have majored in nursing and child psychology, and minored in physical education and art ... and expect to pay them more than you earn).
Beecham and Hillgartner's stories help parents delight in their responsibilities through laughter and reflection. Perhaps you no longer pamper yourself or share candlelight dinners with your spouse, but you love the cute things your kids say and seeing them snuggled up comfortably after they're tucked in for the night.
I'm Counting to 10 . . . celebrates the messy art of parenting, helping adults who fear losing their mind, their dignity, and their hearing because of their kids. Beecham and Hillgartner uncover the universal truth that there is no right way to parent, and parenting experts don't need a Ph.D. Their only necessary titles are "Mom" and "Dad". Consider I'm Counting to 10 . . . the textbook, the owner's manual, for parents struggling to navigate the perils and appreciate the pleasures of raising children — and that, of course, includes all of us.
Author Biography: For over 20 years, Jahnna Beecham and Malcolm Hillgartner have collaborated across a range of creative fields. Under the pen name Jahnna N. Malcolm, they have written over 80 books for young adults and children. Their most recent series, entitled The Jewel Kingdom, was a featured launch for Scholastic, Inc. Other series include Bad News Ballet, Zodiac, Rebel Angels and Hart & Soul. Recently, they co-founded Starcatcher Press, which publishes lively, funny books for young adults and children.
In the late 1990s, they wrote a weekly column titled "A Family Journal" featured on Sesame Street Online. They subsequently wrote a column, "The Jahnna and Malcolm Show," for Sesame Street Parents Magazine. They have compiled those columns, along with other writings, in their new book, I'm Counting to 10 . . .
Beecham and Hillgartner also are the co-founders and creative directors of Where We Live Productions, LLC, a film production company dedicated to family entertainment. The company's first film, The Ruby Princess Runs Away, for which Beecham and Hillgartner wrote the screenplay, was released direct to video in September 2000. Beecham also directed the film.
Currently working as the editorial directors and creative writers for Gateway Learning Company, Beecham and Hillgartner provide content for the "Hooked on School Success" interactive learning CD-ROM. They also wrote dialogue for The Learning Company's CD-ROM game, "The Babysitters Club 3rd & 4th Grade Adventures".
Fittingly, this creative couple was married on the stage of the Empty Space Theatre in Seattle, where they worked as actors. Their theatre work includes the musical Chaps! which, since its 1995 debut, has been produced by theatres around the country.
The parents of two school aged children, Beecham and Hillgartner live in Ashland, Oregon. They dream of one day cleaning out their mini van.
|Welcome to the Club||9|
|Who's Been Sleeping in My Bed?||11|
|The P Word||17|
|Desperately Seeking Mary Poppins||23|
|In the Bleak Midwinter||26|
|It's My Potty and I'll Poop If I Want To||29|
|Don't Step on a Crack!||33|
|Home Improvement, Family Style||36|
|Friends Before Children||38|
|Thanks for the Mammaries||41|
|Slam, Dunk, and Roll||44|
|If You Are What You Eat--Then I Am a Compost Heap||50|
|Put on Your Shoes||53|
|Happy Birthday, Baby!||58|
|The Art of Living||61|
|M Is for Me||64|
|The Joy of Cooking||67|
|Cleanliness Is Next to Impossible||70|
|The Pits Stop||72|
|What I Learned on Our Trip to Disneyland||74|
|Out of the Mouths of Babes||79|
|Go, Big Green!||82|
|The Great Flood||90|
|Bye Bye, Blankie||93|
|Goodnight, Mrs. Hillgartner, Wherever You Are||95|
|Nightmare on Oak Street||97|
|The Best Laid Plans||100|
|Mother's Day Resolutions||102|
|Less Is Less||107|
|Who Put the Magic in Markers?||118|
|Seeing Is Believing||123|
|Head 'em Up, Move 'em Out!||125|