I'm George, mwm, 52 [NOOK Book]

Overview

What would you do if you found out that your wife was cheating on you?

Well, take a peek into the mind of George as he goes through the process of discovery. You'll probably be more than a little surprised at his reaction. Of course you would have to know his wife Abby. Here is how George describes her:

"Abby, my wife, is 48, 5-4, 104 lbs, blue eyes, quite pretty, and she turns more heads than just mine, as you will soon find out.
We’ve been ...

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I'm George, mwm, 52

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Overview

What would you do if you found out that your wife was cheating on you?

Well, take a peek into the mind of George as he goes through the process of discovery. You'll probably be more than a little surprised at his reaction. Of course you would have to know his wife Abby. Here is how George describes her:

"Abby, my wife, is 48, 5-4, 104 lbs, blue eyes, quite pretty, and she turns more heads than just mine, as you will soon find out.
We’ve been married twenty four years and most of the marriage has been what most people would probably call happy, but keep in mind that there’s always more to the equation than what floats on the surface.

If I had to pick out what is best about us, it would be that we say ‘fuck’ a lot. Not that we actually fuck all that much, but at least we sit around and shoot the shit and everything is ‘fuck this’ or ‘fuck that’. It’s kind of nice when you can sit down with your spouse and just say whatever you think or feel and not be overly concerned that they will take offense and get all pissed off and create some kind of big issue over some random words that, when you think about it, are really just imperfect representations of thoughts and emotions anyway.

I’ve never liked to hold things back, and Abby is that way on steroids. She’s a lot more careful when other people are around, but when it’s just me and her, I can expect a whole lot of shit to come flying out of her mouth, and I like that.

Abby comes from a Northeastern Catholic family, and that’s where she gets her beautifully foul mouth. I’m from the South and I’ve learned to keep the conversation relatively clean, in most cases, down here. On the other hand, when we’re up there, it’s pretty much say whatever the hell you want, even around the kids, and nobody blinks an eye. I think it’s better that way. Kids up there learn early on that the thoughts and meanings behind the words are important, but not the actual words themselves."

And here is George's take on life, at least as it concerns ice cream and the Buddhists.

"Suppose you like chocolate ice cream. You are at home one summer night and you look in the freezer and the chocolate ice cream is gone. Abby, the bitch, ate it all last night when you were asleep. Shit.

Two choices now. Eat the coffee ice cream, which is there and which you like just as well, usually, but not tonight of course, because the chocolate is gone, and we all know that we always want what we can’t have the most.

Second choice. Get in the car, drive to the grocery store, wait in a line that’s a mile long because it’s the time of the day when every fucking college student is buying just one thing, and that’s mostly a six pack of beer, and you know how long it takes since they all have bonus cards, which they forgot, of course, every fucking one of them forgot, and the cashier has to enter their phone numbers instead, and they can’t remember whether they used their cell phone or land line number when they filled out the application for the bonus card, and it takes you a good twenty minutes to get checked out, and by that time the ice cream if soft, and when you get home, it’s almost liquid, because it’s summer, so you have to wait at least an hour for it to get harder in your freezer, and even then, it’s way softer than you like it, and then when you sit down to enjoy it, you don’t, and you wish you had eaten the mother fucking coffee ice cream in the first place.

Lesson in life. Listen to the Buddhists. If there is chocolate ice cream in the freezer, at home, when you want it, eat it. If not, simply eat the coffee ice cream. Enjoy it. Become one with it."

Yes, George is a deep thinker indeed, and that usually drives Abby insane. But she has learned to pretty much ignore him, and George has learned to keep his thoughts to himself, except in this book.

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Product Details

  • BN ID: 2940011156182
  • Publisher: George Everyman
  • Publication date: 11/29/2010
  • Sold by: Smashwords
  • Format: eBook
  • Sales rank: 463,075
  • File size: 618 KB

Meet the Author

I'm George, mwm, 52. I wrote this book because I found out that my wife has been cheating on me. I have tried to hide my identity but I'm getting to the point that I can't remember where I have said what on line. This is a bad place for me to be because if Abby (the wife) ever connects the dots and finds this book and reads it, I'm in very big trouble.
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Customer Reviews

Average Rating 2.5
( 35 )
Rating Distribution

5 Star

(7)

4 Star

(5)

3 Star

(6)

2 Star

(4)

1 Star

(13)

Your Rating:

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See All Sort by: Showing 1 – 20 of 35 Customer Reviews
  • Posted January 20, 2011

    very cute

    i thought it was a nice peek into a man's mind!

    5 out of 5 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted January 18, 2011

    Very interesting take on modern marriage

    Hard to know if this is truth or fiction or some combination of the two. Reads like an autobiography. Quite funny and very insightful. Well worth the read.

    5 out of 5 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted December 10, 2010

    Totally unique

    Whoever wrote this book is either a genius, or totally insane. Maybe both.

    5 out of 6 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted January 28, 2011

    Highly recommended, but with a caveat

    Depending on your frame of mind, this is going to either be a very good read, or not worth the effort. I give it a five due to it's uniqueness and creativity, but anyone wanting a lot of action will not like it. The 'story line' is embedded in the dialogue and is an interesting look at what appears to be a pretty modern marriage. It's hard to categorize it because it doesn't 'fit' into most prescribed gernres. It's not a romance in the true sense of the word. It's certainly not a 'story'. I might downgrade my five rating over time, but for now, I'm sticking to it because I've never read anything quite like it, and something so unusual just stimulated me in the right way.

    3 out of 3 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted January 27, 2011

    Recommended

    This is an interesting book written in the first person (George) who is a disgruntled husband that finds out his wife has been having an affair. He throws in a lot of his philosophies of life and love, which most times are hilarious, but on a few occasions, are a little too drawn out. But even that adds to the total picture of him. I found myself being drawn in to the relationship with his wife (Abby) and much of what he said sounded so familiar.

    I've read some chick-lit books and this has a lot of the same qualities, but from a man's perspective. It's worth reading for both women and men.

    3 out of 3 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Posted February 2, 2011

    great relationship book thought provoking and funny

    first person style is great a fun read different in a good way

    2 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted May 25, 2011

    Funny

    I thought a long while of what I wanted to say about this book and have come up with the following statement: it is not what you're used to. Not as a reader, at least. There is a vague sequence of events, but do not expect a linear storyline because you will not get it.
    Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not saying this is a bad thing, just a different thing. The book is quite amusing, with many funny moments as well as pretty uncomfortable ones. All in all, they balance each other out. For me, it was a treat to read an honest, male view of a relationship, with all its ups and downs. It's not that common and I appreciate the honesty in the writing.
    There is nothing wrong with the writing itself except that it fits nowhere in the "genre" diagram. This is memoir/comedy/tragedy/self-help and it should be viewed as a mixture of all of them. I can easily say that if you are offended easily, if you do not have an open mind, then this book is probably not for you. But, if you do have those qualities and are willing to spend some time reading something far away from the usual, then this could be a very amusing book for you. It was for me.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted March 19, 2011

    more from this reviewer

    Perfectly strange.

    I have come to the conclusion that this is an absolutely true story and the author just sat down one day and needed to share it with the world. Reading it is like sitting through a lecture in the author's mind, who often strays from the plot to share his outlook on a variety of different topics. I could understand how some people may hate this book but I never once found it boring. The author is very humorous at times and I enjoyed it thoroughly.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted January 28, 2011

    hello

    im george

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted January 27, 2011

    A "one-star" rating is too high! I Quit on #14 or 562 pages.

    Apparently George woke up one morning and announced to himself (and the world): "Im going to write a book!" From the 14 pages that I struggled through, George had not yet discovered, in his diligent writing, what the story was to be. This writer veers off on entirely unrelated tangents every 2 or three paragraphs. Then apologizes for "digressing", and promptly veers off on another unrelated tangent. Perhaps he eventually discovers a "story" in all his rambling. I don't know. I never got that far.

    0 out of 5 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted January 23, 2011

    Highly not recommended - too much about nothing not enough substance

    The author seems to think that the audiance that he is writting to is not equiped with the ablity to reason or understand current views of this world. Thus the constant self explinations. It is like reading jurnal of a auther about his book and not the book itself.

    0 out of 5 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted July 6, 2011

    No text was provided for this review.

  • Anonymous

    Posted January 14, 2011

    No text was provided for this review.

  • Anonymous

    Posted January 16, 2011

    No text was provided for this review.

  • Anonymous

    Posted May 9, 2011

    No text was provided for this review.

  • Anonymous

    Posted April 21, 2011

    No text was provided for this review.

  • Anonymous

    Posted March 22, 2011

    No text was provided for this review.

  • Anonymous

    Posted February 1, 2011

    No text was provided for this review.

  • Anonymous

    Posted June 25, 2011

    No text was provided for this review.

  • Anonymous

    Posted January 20, 2011

    No text was provided for this review.

See All Sort by: Showing 1 – 20 of 35 Customer Reviews

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