In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks: . . . And Other Complaints from an Angry Middle-Aged White Guy

In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks: . . . And Other Complaints from an Angry Middle-Aged White Guy

4.1 252
by Adam Carolla
     
 

View All Available Formats & Editions

A couple years back, I was at the Phoenix airport bar.  It was empty except for one heavy-set, gray bearded, grizzled guy who looked like he just rode his donkey into town after a long day of panning for silver in them thar hills.  He ordered a Jack Daniels straight up, and that's when I overheard the young guy with the earring behind the bar asking

Overview

A couple years back, I was at the Phoenix airport bar.  It was empty except for one heavy-set, gray bearded, grizzled guy who looked like he just rode his donkey into town after a long day of panning for silver in them thar hills.  He ordered a Jack Daniels straight up, and that's when I overheard the young guy with the earring behind the bar asking him if he had ID.  At first the old sea captain just laughed.  But the guy with the twinkle in his ear asked again.  At this point it became apparent that he was serious.  Dan Haggerty's dad fired back, "You've got to be kidding me, son."  The bartender replied, "New policy.  Everyone has to show their ID."  Then I watched Burl Ives reluctantly reach into his dungarees and pull out his military identification card from World War II.

It's a sad and eerie harbinger of our times that the Oprah-watching, crystal-rubbing, Whole Foods-shopping moms and their whipped attorney husbands have taken the ability to reason away from the poor schlub who makes the Bloody Marys.  What we used to settle with common sense or a fist, we now settle with hand sanitizer and lawyers.  Adam Carolla has had enough of this insanity and he's here to help us get our collective balls back. 

In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks is Adam's comedic gospel of modern America. He rips into the absurdity of the culture that demonized the peanut butter and jelly sandwich, turned the nation's bathrooms into a lawless free-for-all of urine and fecal matter, and put its citizens at the mercy of a bunch of minimum wagers with axes to grind. Peppered between complaints Carolla shares candid anecdotes from his day to day life as well as his past—Sunday football at Jimmy Kimmel's house, his attempts to raise his kids in a society that he mostly disagrees with, his big showbiz break, and much, much more. Brilliantly showcasing Adam's spot-on sense of humor, this book cements his status as a cultural commentator/comedian/complainer extraordinaire. 

Editorial Reviews

From the Publisher
"Carolla...has keen political instincts and a vision for common sense."
—New York Post

"Laugh-out-loud funny… [Adam Carolla’s] invective-filled screed is often completely politically incorrect, and always completely hilarious."
–AOL's Popeater.com

"If comedy books were big-breasted porn stars, In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks would be Christy Canyon."
—Bill Simmons, ESPN columnist and bestselling author of The Book of Basketball

"Adam Carolla is a genius. And no, I'm not kidding."
—Jimmy Kimmel

"Reading Adam Carolla is akin to having a horrible illness. Alone with your thoughts, you struggle with whether you want to even go on living. When you're done, you're a stronger, better person."
—Alec Baldwin

"If you’re a man, read this book.  If you’re a man who wears turtlenecks, wise up.  Nobody thinks that looks good."
—Seth MacFarlane

“I don’t know this guy from Adam, but Carolla’s humor—fearlessly crass, shamelessly honest and irresistibly funny—sucks out like liposuction the  layers of fatty pride to expose the often warped and wounded psyche buried deep within the modern American male.”
—Ken Burns

Product Details

ISBN-13:
9780307717375
Publisher:
Crown Publishing Group
Publication date:
11/02/2010
Pages:
256
Product dimensions:
6.40(w) x 9.20(h) x 1.10(d)

Meet the Author

Adam Carolla is a radio and television host, comedian, and actor. He is the host of the Adam Carolla Podcast, before which he hosted a weekday morning radio program broadcast from Los Angeles, and syndicated by CBS Radio. Besides these shows, Carolla is well known as the co-host of the radio show Loveline (and its television incarnation on MTV), as the co-creator and co-host of Comedy Central's The Man Show, and as the co-creator and the performer on Comedy Central and MTV's Crank Yankers and is a frequent contributor and contestant on ABC's top-rated program "Dancing with the Stars". Carolla also starred in, co-wrote, and co-produced the award-winning independent film, The Hammer. He currently lives in Los Angeles with his wife and their two children.

Customer Reviews

Average Review:

Write a Review

and post it to your social network

     

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

See all customer reviews >

In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks 4.2 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 251 reviews.
mushb0ne More than 1 year ago
I'm not talking about the book (although, that, too, is pretty funny). I'm talking about jessie2's review, which is posted here. Ace would undoubtedly have gotten a kick out of reading it, since her review reveals her to be a prototype of the class of "Oprah-watching, crystal-rubbing, Whole Foods-shopping moms" he calls out in the introduction. He neglected to add "self-righteous" and "humorless" to the list of adjectives describing that grim group; perhaps he considered those traits too obvious to mention. Adam Carolla is the anti-jessie2. Thank God for him.
LanceBN More than 1 year ago
This book should be required reading in all High Schools as a prep for life and an inoculation against the insane political correctness that our children will later be spoon fed in U.S. Universities!
Katie Young More than 1 year ago
If you think we've gotten too pc, this is the book for you!
Oscarwilde1969 More than 1 year ago
Should be required reading for all young men and boys...before it's too late. Btw, Jessie2's review sucks!!
DrJenski More than 1 year ago
I'm a feminist female and I loved this book! Adam Corolla is just a hilarious guy, voice and all. I'll definitely reread this one for some laughs in the future.
UncleDennis More than 1 year ago
Sure, there are some people who think Mr. Carolla is just "one of those two misogynistic guys" from The Man Show, but this would be just about the most uninformed opinion you could have for one of the funniest men of my generation. From his truly poor upbringing (both financially and emotional-supportingly), the Carolla story starts with meagerness in survival in The Valley, works its way through a life of hard knocks (that's hard --- read "actual," physical labor) on its way to success in radio, TV, film (5 stars for his indie flick "The Hammer"), and now the Internet. The bulk of the book makes a handy companion to Mr. Carolla's daily Podcast show, stand-up work, and many television appearances on the late-nite (and now, daytime) circuit. Irreverent as always, Adam pulls no punches (puntastically appropriate for the amateur boxer that he is), laying it out for all of us on a number of "topics of the day" and the current scene. Commonsense never sounded funnier, when you consider all of the crazy stuff we all put up with in life (TSA checkpoints, minimum wage security guards, movies we're supposed to love, and even ketchup packets!). If you like FUNNY, you must like this book. And for an audio preview of the book, listen to a few of his Adam Carolla Show podcasts! Material flows from Mr. Carolla like a water balloon with a needle-pricked hole: a nice steady stream from a comedic genius.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I like his take on things but much of what he has put in the book he has already done on radio. All in all a great read.
Termin8torB More than 1 year ago
One of those books that makes you laugh out loud! Great stories and humorous anecdotes abound, highly recommend this book.
dsmhero More than 1 year ago
One of the funniest books I have read in a long time. If you enjoy Adam's podcast or anything remotely funny. Buy this book immediately. Genius! Completely genius!
HendyRPH More than 1 year ago
Adam makes some good points about how our society has slowly degenerated into image over substance. I found myself agreeing with most of what he was saying. I had to read his book in spurts because it reminded me of all the short-comings we have fallen into.
riotactor More than 1 year ago
Just finished reading Adam Carolla's long rant on everyday things that annoy him (this book). I find that I agreed with him on many of the things that he sees as wasting our time and unnecessary red tape in society. Some of the words he strings together to make his insults and shed a funny side of something made me laugh out loud. It was a good mix of raunchy humor and touching stories with a comical twist. Definitely recommend if you are in the mood for a funny, easy read whether you are a fan of Adam's or not.
nicetoseeme More than 1 year ago
Great book Ace! I haven't read a book through since the Hobbit which is like 20 years ago so this should mean a lot to avid readers. This book deals with what every dude really thinks but cannot put into words. If you like me pay some amount of taxes, cannot stand "The View", then you will like this book. The book is more raw than the podcast digging deep into Adams sarcastic, honest side.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Just too damn funny. You'll blow through this book in almost no time - I did. Corolla will straighten you out on almost everything you think you know something about. You need this book just don't take it too seriously.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
The title intrigued me and I expected the book to be a commentary on the loss of the unique attributes of both genders, on how we never do things ourselves anymore and how we'd rather just pay someone to do it for us (from fixing the car to sewing, so I'm talking about both sexes). I also expected some insightful comments on what we can do to reverse this trend. Boy was I wrong! This book got so off focus it became a 200+ page rant. I kept hearing Andy Rooney's voice in my head narrating it for me and expected to read "Don't you just hate that?" Adam, I think I would rather have read the book you say (in "Acknowledgments") you were "hell-bent" on writing, which was a coffee table book entitled "Dade County Black Prom, 1977-1985." I think I would have found that more enjoyable. I'm just bummed I wasted 9.99 of my $15 gift card on it.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Funny stuff, great stories!
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Anonymous More than 1 year ago