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Juliet Wittman…[Lehmann-Haupt] is a skilled, empathetic writer and an excellent researcher, alert to the absurdities and ethical ambiguities of her quest, and she has written a valuable guide.
—The Washington Post
Lehmann-Haupt traveled around the world and into the heart of America to explore the latest fertility choices available—as well as grapple with her own ...
Lehmann-Haupt traveled around the world and into the heart of America to explore the latest fertility choices available—as well as grapple with her own ambitions, anxieties, and personal values. A witty, poignant, and profoundly honest account of one woman’s efforts to reconcile modern love with modern life, In Her Own Sweet Time resonates with a generation that wants it all— career, family, the perfect partner—but one that hasn’t yet figured out how to fit it all together.
Lehmann-Haupt, executive editor of Plum magazine and daughter of author and New York Times writer Christopher, entered her 30s feeling optimistic and in control. The accomplished journalist and world traveler had a great boyfriend, too-and fully expected to achieve her next goal: motherhood. When the relationship didn't work out, the author began to wonder if the love-marriage-baby sequence might not happen for her. Like countless 30-something American women, she didn't worry about her fertility during her 20s and 30s, thanks to advances in feminism and medical technology that have given women more options-and the feeling that the so-called biological clock moves more slowly now. Lehmann-Haupt does an excellent job chronicling the societal and medical trends that have influenced modern motherhood. She also describes her pursuit of a romance that will lead to marriage and family, and the choices she makes in an effort to give herself more options. A mix of science, statistics, interviews and personal narrative form this valuable guidebook. It also serves as a compelling reality check as she lists various statistics: women over 35 suffer higher rates of miscarriage; 50,000 children are born to single mothers each year; a third of these mothers choose to become pregnant on their own. In this informative and frank book, Lehmann-Haupt makes a compelling case for education and preparation: "We have more options than ever; understanding them can empower us and, perhaps most importantly, turn panic into peace." (June)Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.
Author's Note xi
Introduction: Starting Later 1
1 Feathering the Nest 17
2 Buying Time 41
3 Shopping for Mr. Goodsperm 67
4 Friends and Fatherhood 97
5 The Sweetness of Doing Nothing 125
6 Adventurous SWF Seeks Hottie 143
7 The Instant Family 159
8 Talking Past the Elephant 175
9 Letting Go 195
10 Gelato, Science, and a Crystal Ball 219
11 Freezing Time 243
12 The Egg Donor Economy 271
Epilogue: Summer 295