Infernal Affairsby Jane Heller
Florida real estate agent Barbara Chessner is down on her luck, up several dress sizes, drowning herself in Bloody Marys — and, worst of all/b>
An unwitting pact with the devil transforms a hapless, lonely woman into a babe with everything she ever wanted – until the Faustian bill comes due in this hilarious be-careful-what-you-wish-for tale.
Florida real estate agent Barbara Chessner is down on her luck, up several dress sizes, drowning herself in Bloody Marys — and, worst of all, has just been dumped by her husband for a blonde TV weatherperson. Tired of living the life of a woman in a “before” ad, Barbara stumbles outside in the midst of a thunderstorm and beseeches heaven to help her — unaware that someone diabolical might be listening. Instantly, the storm vanishes and the sky fills with stars, one of which actually seems to be winking at her. Barbara wakes up with golden hair (not her own premature gray), perfect pitch (she’s tone deaf), a strange black dog (registered to her), no double chin, a waistline … and definite cleavage! Talk about a good night’s sleep!
Even more bizarre things begin to happen. Without any effort, Barbara sells the least appealing house in Banyan Beach to David Bettinger, the most appealing man she’s ever met. Without any reason, Jeremy Cook, a crude charter-boat captain who has detested her since high school, starts paying her compliments. And without any explanation, everything she wishes for comes true. As David becomes passionate, Jeremy becomes jealous, and everyone becomes suspicious. Barbara’s friends at the Home Sweet Home agency attribute the inexplicable to everything from hot flashes to dark forces. Not even she knows what the devil is going on. But when she finds out, all hell is going to break loose…
“Campy, over the top, down-and-dirty, and a whole lot of fun.”—KIRKUS
“Author Jane Heller strikes gold again with her wickedly funny sense of humor in this hilarious tale of love battling the ultimate forces of darkness.”—RT BOOK REVIEWS
“Move over, Faust: Heller adds a witty, feminist slant to a strictly 20th-century story of the tug-of-war between good and evil.”—PUBLISHERS WEEKLY
“Sly, smart-mouthed fun.”—PEOPLE
Things couldn't get much worse for real-estate agent Barbara Chessner of 666 (yes, that's 666) Seacrest Way, Banyan Beach, Florida. A bottle of wine has become her nightly norm; she can't sell a house to save her life; and, at 38, she's already gray- haired and dumpy. One night in the midst of a powerful thunderstorm her misery reaches its peak: Mitchell, her husband of ten years (whom she doesn't even love), dumps her for buck-toothed but blond and busty local weatherperson Chrissy Hemplewhite. On top of everything else, Barbara's suddenly all alone. So she does the only thing she can do: She strikes a midnight-hour deal with the devil. The catch is that she doesn't know what she's done: She thought she was praying to God when she called out to the stormy ocean, "I'll do anything if you'll help me." When Barbara shows up at work the next morning, her stomach is newly flat, her hair is suddenly blond and smooth, her bustline is mysteriously enhanced, and she's acquired a certain je-ne-sais-quoi that has her officemates deeply puzzled. Life picks up all around: She makes an immediate, significant sale to David Bettinger, a former short, fat, bald orthodontist and current stud who turns out to be another "darksider." He gives Barbara the score when in the heat of passion she discovers that he has a tail. Meanwhile, Jeremy Cook, her brother Ben's best friend, becomes rather more than an acquaintance, and her loyal dog Pete turns out to be much more than man-or woman's-best friend.
Campy, over the top, down-and-dirty, and a whole lot of fun.
- Diversion Books
- Publication date:
- Sold by:
- Barnes & Noble
- NOOK Book
- Sales rank:
- File size:
- 785 KB
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
See all customer reviews
My second Jane Heller book. This is so bizzare and funny. Great surprises and laughs. Just pure fun and non-stop reading. I love Jane Heller's style. She's the best.
At first the beginning was a very fast read. I was enjoying the book tremendously, then, it slowed down and finished with a great ending! I recommend this book to anyone!
This the first book I have read by Jane Heller, and I don't believe it will be my last! There were times when I was reading this book that I was actually laughing out loud, and I was hating to finish it because it was so good. I am not surprised to see that it is going to be made into a film, and one can only hope that the movie does the book justice! Definitely a book that I will share with all my friends!