Read an Excerpt
CHAPTER 1
HALL OF FAMER AND FORMER DALLAS COWBOYS QUARTERBACK
ROGER STAUBACH
In a League of His Own As the Ultimate Role Model and the First Insightful Player™ Team Member
Roger Staubach is the epitome of an Insightful Player™ team member because he has always shaped his life around his values. He is devoted to his Christian faith, his wife of more than 45 years, his five grown children, and his many grandchildren. He has an unwavering commitment to his friends, employees, and co-workers. All these combine to make him the perfect man with which to begin the Insightful Player™ stories.
Roger has led a soul-centered life both on and off the field. He is recognized for giving birth to the "Hail Mary Pass" in a 1975 wild card playoff game against the highly favored Vikings. With only seconds left on the clock, and just before throwing the game-winning, 50-yard touchdown, he said a Hail Mary.
His faith was nurtured in his modest home in Cincinnati. Growing up as an only child with his parents and grandmother, Roger feels tremendous gratitude for having the loving and hard-working role models that his parents were. One of his primary guiding principles is to put yourself in other people's shoes. "Respect and think of someone other than yourself," Roger often says. Many, many times there is a bigger agenda than our own, he believes, which we have to adhere to and support — that's what teamwork is all about.
As an example, Roger didn't play quarterback until his senior year in high school. At first, he didn't want to play quarterback and asked his coach why he was being asked to make the switch from defensive back and receiver to quarterback. "Coach McCarthy wanted me to play quarterback because the guys listened to me. This was a big change in my life." he learned. Being open to a bigger perspective that involved his teammates brought forth his NFL Hall of Fame talent as a quarterback, and his leadership skills skyrocketed.
Roger looked at football as a way to go to college. He recognized that his parents worked very hard and gave him a very good life, but thought it would have been tough on them to send him to college. He also knew they would have found a way to make it happen. His determination to maximize his athletic talent so he could go to college without strapping his parents financially paid off. He was offered a football scholarship from a number of schools and he chose the Naval Academy.
Roger made a commitment to serve his country for four years upon graduation. When he was drafted by the NFL, his commitment to his country didn't waiver. To a 23-year-old, four years seemed like an eternity and he didn't think he would have the opportunity to play professional football. During his four years of military service, Roger kept in great shape and was able to play some football on base. In his fourth year in the service, he was able to participate in a Cowboys training camp during a two-week leave. It was during that training camp that he knew playing in the NFL was still a possibility for him.
Roger was a tremendous leader who persistently worked to show his teammates he could be a winning quarterback. He had tremendous respect and confidence in his teammates and he made it abundantly clear he couldn't do it without them. Similarly, he would later in his life show tremendous respect for all employees at The Staubach Company, an innovative real estate firm. Roger brought in the very best broker talent by offering them a significant stake in the company and giving them the autonomy to excel. He sold the company to Jones Lang LaSalle Americas, Inc., in 2008 for $613 million. At the time of the sale, 88% of the stock was owned by employees. Roger has steadfast respect for his talented and high-integrity employees. He was passionate about rewarding them because they played a major role in building his company.
Another of Roger's guiding principles can best be summed up in his words as "Don't be afraid to fail; do the best you can and appreciate the chance." When Roger was playing in a tournament basketball game as a high school sophomore, he missed a free throw in the final seconds and cost his team the game. He was devastated, blew in and out of the locker room without taking a shower, and went home. He sat up in his room in pain and feeling very discouraged.
According to Roger, "This was a defining moment in my life. When you fail, you want to give up. That day, I made a very important decision not to give up even though I was in a lot of pain. I wanted to be in that position again with the game on the line because I knew I could have success.
"Since then, I have not been afraid to fail. I have been in many situations when things didn't work out, and many situations that worked out very well. I got into many critical situations as an athlete and in business. I knew I would do the best I could based on what I believed and what got me into those circumstances. I began to really appreciate the fact that I had a chance, and with my genuine respect for having a chance, I no longer was afraid to fail."
Spiritual faith has always given a sense of permanence to his life. Roger was heartbroken watching his mother suffer and eventually die from cancer. He couldn't understand why God would allow that to happen to someone who was always doing good for others. He didn't have an answer for this, so he let his faith kick in. He wholeheartedly believes there is a permanence to our lives. His permanence is his Christian faith, but he has a great deal of respect for other faiths and beliefs. "If we live our lives properly here, that permanence, which is our salvation, is going to be there for us," he said.
Roger believes we can find the best within ourselves and the best in others when things are tough. "Adversity reveals genius and prosperity conceals it," he commented. "You must persevere. Don't give up on your faith, or sacrifice your values. You've got to fight through adversity and you are going to be better for it."
His faith has helped him in tough times. It helps him tap into a healthy sense of perspective by reminding him to look at the bigger picture. When facing a challenge, he developed a habit of asking himself, "How does this relate to the bigger picture and to the commitments I've made spiritually?
"Start each day asking yourself, 'What impact am I going to have on someone in a positive way?' "If you use this approach, you are going to enjoy your life while helping others enjoy theirs. What a good feeling you get when you help someone else! You do have to keep a balance, however, so you don't give what you don't have to give, or become tempted to sacrifice your values."
Roger knows firsthand how important a role a mentor can play. "Some mentors play a direct role and others influence us indirectly. An example of indirect mentors can be the people you spend your time with. It is important to be with people who are doing the right thing. We need to be responsible to ourselves, no matter who we are or what circumstance we are in.
"Sometimes kids don't have parents who are good role models. Don't use that as an excuse. Find mentors to support you. When you look at anyone's success, you'll also find someone who has influenced them in a positive way.
"I was very fortunate to have loving parents who were exceptional role models. I also had mentors outside my family, people who also believed in me and recognized my leadership qualities. They all had one thing in common, and that was how they set the example of living an integrity-based life.
"My personal mentors were: Jim McCarthy, my high school football coach; the late Tom Landry, my Dallas Cowboys coach; and Henry S. Miller, owner of the Henry S. Miller real estate firm in Texas. Henry started off as my off-season employer who helped me build a very successful real estate career after I retired from the NFL."
Establishing one's priorities effectively is of paramount importance, Roger believes. He was a husband and father first, and a quarterback second. He was confident in his ability to play football but never knew if he would get hurt. If he did get hurt, he was prepared to do something else to provide for his family. He worked in real estate off season because he wanted to get business experience and felt fully responsible for making sure he would always be able to provide for his family. He worked extremely hard as a husband and a dad, as well as a quarterback, and teammate.
Roger Staubach is an accomplished, wise, and kindhearted man who is committed to being the best man he can possibly be, while inspiring and nurturing those same qualities in those around him. He shows perseverance, is highly respectful of others and is steadfast in having his values, including his deep Christian faith, navigate his life.
He has always been competitive with himself rather than being competitive with others. He passionately believes that if we all respected someone other than ourselves, it would be a sure way to rid the world of the terrible disease of discrimination.
Roger is the kind of role model we need in our world: the kind we want our young people to emulate and aspire to, and one we can use as a guide for our own lives. Because the sole purpose of the Insightful Player™ series is to lift your spirits to awe-inspiring heights, I cannot think of an NFL player better suited to open the book.
INSTANT REPLAY OF ROGER'S GUIDING PRINCIPLES
1. Put yourself in other people's shoes. Respect and think of someone other than yourself.
2. Many, many times there is a bigger agenda than our own, which we have to adhere to and support — that's what teamwork is all about.
3. Don't be afraid to fail. Do the very best you can and have a genuine appreciation for having a chance.
4. Ground your life with spiritual faith.
5. Adversity reveals genius and prosperity conceals it. You must persevere, don't give up on your faith or sacrifice your values.
6. Start each day asking yourself what impact am I going to have on someone in a positive way. You will really enjoy your life while helping others enjoy theirs.
7. Having a mentor is a must have for everybody. Find mentors to support you and spend time with people who are doing the right thing.
8. Make sure you have your priorities right. Put your family first and take responsibility for the people who are counting on you.
These principles continue to guide Roger's life every day. Today, he is Executive Chairman — Americas, an active member on the board of Jones Lang LaSalle Americas, Inc., and is working to show the company is the best real estate company in the world.
CHAPTER 2
THE NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS'
KYLE ARRINGTON
Profoundly Grateful That Sports Taught Him to Control His Temper and God Taught Him to Trust His Plan
Kyle Arrington's mother feared that her son's explosive temper would be his undoing. Whether he was playing kickball with his friends or video games with his three siblings, anything less than a perfect performance drove him into a tailspin. Fighting with classmates got him twice suspended from middle school, and his parents were afraid he would one day lash out too far — and end up in jail.
A burgeoning interest in sports turned out to be the antidote to his bad temper, though: both football and Tai Kwan Do. In football, he learned to pour his energy into making the best plays on the field rather than lashing out at people who antagonized him. And from Tai Kwan Do, he developed focus, concentration and self-discipline, honing his skills so rapidly that he earned his black belt by his early teens.
Kyle was 12 years old before he began playing organized sports. Raised in suburban Maryland in a happy, secure two-parent household, he was by his parents' account an active and physical child from the time he could walk, but like the children around him, he spent his free time playing pick-up games with his siblings and other kids. Then one day he noticed that no one seemed to be around to play with, so he called a friend and learned that his peers had just joined a Pop Warner football league. He decided to sign up as well, motivated simply by the wish to be with his friends.
And he was a strong player from the outset. "My defensive coach noticed that I was all over the field," he said. "Whether it was tackling the quarterback or the running back or the receiver, I was there. I was all over the place. I said, I can get into this! It was fun."
Joining the football league turned out to be a move that would profoundly affect his future. As soon as he started playing football, Kyle discovered a passion for other sports as well: basketball, soccer, martial arts. The pursuits provided more than just an outlet for his physical energy, though: they also taught him an alternative to letting his temper get the best of him.
"My Tai Kwan Do instructor was all about having fun, but also about respecting your peers, and even more so, having respect for yourself and being obedient to your parents. But I think mainly what I took from it was to treat others how you want to be treated. It was definitely a transformation I could feel within myself. From the first week, I could feel myself calming down and nothing really ever seemed as big as I would make it. Man, I don't know where I'd be today if I didn't partake in that at such a young age. It probably saved my life, really. So I can't thank my parents enough for getting me involved with Tai Kwan Do and the other sports."
Despite his talents, the ascension to pro football player was a very gradual one. Even in high school, Kyle didn't yet see football as a future career path. "I watch kids nowadays and they get involved so early, whether it's basketball, football, you name it. To me it was more of a hobby. I never really got serious about football until college. So, it's not like I had big schools looking at me. In high school, I played junior varsity for two years. In my junior year, I finally made it to varsity and ended up dislocating my shoulder a couple of times during the season. I sat out the whole year, so in terms of playing time I went into college as an underdog. I played only one full year of varsity football in high school."
A spiritual person who learned from his parents' example to put his faith in God and believe that God would set him on the necessary course, Kyle considered it an enormous blessing that Hofstra gave him a full football scholarship — an eventuality he had essentially lost hope in after his high school injury. It was at that point that his lifelong religious faith dwindled somewhat. "I'm thinking to myself, why me?" Kyle remembers now. "It really put me in kind of a dark place. I'm thinking, all right, I'm going to miss this whole year. I'm really going to have to do something to wow these scouts and recruiters next season. And more so, will I even be ready for next year? What if it happens again? Injuries when you're that young kind of make you gun-shy as a kid and it can still your career."
Gradually, though, he reconnected with his sense of faith. "Senior year in high school, I was past the shoulder injury and said to myself that I was going to work out, get bigger and stronger and have a mentally tough attitude. I reminded myself that whatever happened, it was definitely God's plan and it was already written for me. I decided that if football wasn't meant to be, I'd accept that, and I'd be happy with whatever God has in store for me, because what matters is health, faith and family. Football is just a game."
With this mindset, Kyle went on to play a successful senior year, and was thrilled with the acceptance and scholarship from Hofstra, even though he knew it wasn't exactly a straight shot from there into a pro career. "Coming into to the NFL from a Division 1-AA program is not unheard of but it's not as common as these big schools where it's like clockwork with their guys going into the NFL. So it was definitely an uphill battle."
It was a battle he was willing to fight hard to win, though. Fear of re-injuring himself in high school, as well as a natural inclination to be more of a runner than a tackler, had caused him to earn something of a "soft" reputation, and he saw college as a chance to change that. "I went to Hofstra my freshman year thinking that as soon as training camp starts, this is a fresh start. These guys, these upperclassmen don't know what I bring to the table. I know I'm a good athlete. I know I can pick the ball off, intercept the ball. I also know I can tackle."
Fueled by this positive mindset, his college career went well, and he graduated from Hofstra determined to find his place in the NFL. Once again, his resolve to make it as a football player was tested. "I ended up a free agent invited to the Eagles' training camp, and that was a great experience. My eyes were really opened to how important it was to wow everyone, every possible chance I got." But it turned out not to be enough. Hard as he tried, "I just couldn't awe them when the bullets went live," he said of his inability to make the team.
(Continues…)
Excerpted from "Insightful Player"
by .
Copyright © 2011 Chrissy Carew.
Excerpted by permission of Morgan James Publishing.
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