Table of Contents
Introduction 1
Fighting Boredom in the Ancient World 3
E.T. Are You out There? 5
Ptolemy and the Flat Earth 7
All That Bee Buzzing 9
I Know I've Been Here Before 11
The Hole into Hell 13
How Did Superman Die? 15
It's Hotdish Not Casserole 17
Not Your Average Flag 19
I Have Brain Freeze, Bro 21
Lay Down Your Head, Tom Dooley 23
Why Not Just Call It a Waiting Room? 26
The British Archie Bunker 28
November 15, 1915 31
Hatred for Hogan's Heroes 33
The Haunted Town 35
The State of Superior 38
A Hunka Hunka Burning Love 40
The "Big One" Hits the Midwest 42
Take My Hand, Really 45
The Smiley Face Murders 47
The City That Wouldn't Die 50
Exploding Trees 52
When Reality Imitates Art 54
Before Columbus 56
The World's Deepest Hole 59
Disappearing Witnesses 61
Not Your Average Aliens 64
I'm Billy the Kid 66
Lingua Franca 69
Get Outta Dodge! 71
Murder on the Greyhound Express 73
Sequoyah, Where Did You Go? 76
The Loch Ness Monster's American Cousins 79
The Sound of Heat 82
Strange Signals 84
The Dangerous Game? 86
Oliver Stone and Alexander the Great 89
Don't Touch My Sacred Cow 92
When Terminator Becomes Real 94
The Deadliest Comet 96
Colonel Hogan's Secret Life 99
It's Raining Fish 102
Getting Above the Mendoza Line 104
The Celebrity Cannibal 106
Mouthless Moths 110
Which Chupacabra? 112
The Language of Love, in Eastern Europe 115
A Radioactive Film 117
Animals That Don't Age 119
As Rich as Croesus 121
The Dead Mountain 123
I'm Just a Bill 127
Iceberg Alley 129
What Do Witches Have to Do with It? 131
Canadians Call It Football Too 133
Steam Power in the Ancient World 136
The Kid Who Ended the Cold War 138
Who Knew Bigfoot Was a Snow Bird? 141
If Men Had to Give Birth 143
A Criminal as Big as His Name 145
Watch Where You Cut! 148
Oxen, Not Horses 150
Knuckleballs 152
Raise the Tally 155
It's Always Sunny in Arica 157
Not the Best Business Model 159
What Happened to My Cow? 162
The Sailing Stones 166
Abraham Lincoln and Akhenaten 169
Disco's Dead 171
Snake Eyes and Dogs 174
That's Quite a Sunburn 176
Marky Mark and the Hate Crimes 178
Don't Bother Exchanging Currencies 181
Was It Really an Asp? 183
The Barefoot Bandit 186
Let's Meet up for Some Aggro Mate 189
I Really Did See a Black Panther 191
The Real Life Robinson Crusoe 193
What Happened to Ambrose Bierce? 196
Vulcan Blood 198
The Sky Samurai 200
Pooing in Public 203
The Sweet Smell of Death 205
The Song of Money 207
"Yakety Sax" 210
Did He Just Say That? 212
Droogs, Melchicks, and Devotchkas 214
Bombs Away! 216
Not the Mafia 218
About That Alien Abduction 221
Mr. Hockey 224
