Intimacy After Infidelity: How to Rebuild and Affair-Proof Your Marriage

Intimacy After Infidelity: How to Rebuild and Affair-Proof Your Marriage

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by Steven Solomon, Lorie Teagno
     
 

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A Guide to Rebuilding Trust and Intimacy

It's devastating to discover that the person you trust the most has betrayed you. You'll be facing some hard questions after learning of your partner's infidelity. You may choose to rebuild your relationship, or you may decide to move on. Whatever the right decision is for you, this book will help you figure out why

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Overview

A Guide to Rebuilding Trust and Intimacy

It's devastating to discover that the person you trust the most has betrayed you. You'll be facing some hard questions after learning of your partner's infidelity. You may choose to rebuild your relationship, or you may decide to move on. Whatever the right decision is for you, this book will help you figure out why your partner betrayed you and decide whether you can remain in your relationship. It will also show you new ways to relate that can help you and your partner become a lasting, loving, and committed couple.

You'll start by taking a look at the phenomenon of infidelity and the three types of intimacy: self-intimacy, conflict intimacy, and affection intimacy. Then you'll learn about the three kinds of infidelity—those of fear, of loneliness, and of anger—and what each reveals about your relationship. Then it's on to practical exercises that can heal emotional wounds and enable you to recover your ability to trust. Even if you decide not to remain with your current partner, the book will help you make wise relationship choices to "affair-proof" your future relationship.

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Editorial Reviews

Library Journal
This much-needed book by two licensed clinical psychologists empathetically guides readers through a partner's infidelity. Using case studies and sound psychological concepts, Solomon and Teagno detail the reasons why long-term love relationships (LTLR) succeed or fail, what causes infidelity, and how to build a true LTLR, should that be in everyone's best interest. The authors describe the three intimacies necessary in an LTLR—self-intimacy, conflict intimacy, and affection intimacy—as well as the three emotions that cause infidelity—fear, loneliness, and anger. Appendixes contain exercises to facilitate emotional self-awareness and communication. Invaluable to those suffering from betrayal and wondering where to turn; highly recommended for all public libraries.


—Deborah Bigelow
From the Publisher

Solomon and Teagno have done an exquisite job bringing hope into darkness. They provide the education, skills and rationale for staying the course when everything seems bleak. Allow them to lead you in overcoming betrayal and reconnecting with the one you love.
—Ellyn Bader, Ph.D., codirector of the Couples Institute and author of Tell Me No Lies

Intimacy After Infidelity is loaded with practical exercises and concrete advice that will help partners construct a strong and resilient relationship after an affair. Couples struggling with issues of trust and forgiveness will find it immediately useful.
—Janis Abrahms Spring, Ph.D., author of After the Affair and How Can I Forgive You?

Intimacy After Infidelity is clear, informative, challenging, and smart—and most of all a tremendous source of hope for all couples who have endured the trauma of infidelity. The authors interweave sound theory, clinical stories, and structured exercises to help couples understand what the hell went wrong and why. And they give couples tools to pick up the pieces and (if they can commit to maturely facing the fear, loneliness, and anger) put this relationship back together again actually better and more truly intimate than ever before. I highly recommend this book!
—David B. Wexler, Ph.D., author of When Good Men Behave Badly and Is He Depressed or What?, and executive director of the Relationship Training Institute

For those courageous souls who wish to repair, rebuild, and rejoin after an infidelity, this wonderfully wise guide can be a gift to your emerging new relationship. Developing new skills and knowledge is essential when you travel over emotionally painful terrain. This book is a trusty companion for your journey.
—Peter Pearson, Ph.D., cofounder of the Couples Institute in Menlo Park, CA

A must read for everyone going through the pain of infidelity as well as for everyone who wants to improve his or her marriage —full of sound, practical advice on how to improve your marriage no matter what the obstacles.
—Cloé Madanes, president of the Robbins-Madanes Center for Strategic Intervention

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Product Details

ISBN-13:
9781608829682
Publisher:
New Harbinger Publications
Publication date:
11/01/2006
Sold by:
Barnes & Noble
Format:
NOOK Book
Pages:
208
Sales rank:
127,093
File size:
622 KB

Meet the Author

Steven D. Solomon, PhD, is a licensed clinical psychologist who specializes in couples therapy. He has been in private practice in La Jolla, CA, for more than twenty years. He is a founding director of the Relationship Institute and past president of the San Diego Psychological Association, the United Jewish Federation of San Diego County, and Hillel of San Diego. He and his wife, Esther, have been married for twenty-one years and are the very proud parents of their son, Lewis.
Lorie J. Teagno, PhD, is a licensed clinical psychologist in La Jolla, CA, where she has worked in private practice for more than twenty years. A founding director of The Relationship Institute, she has been an adjunct lecturer at United States International University. She has provided training for many therapists in couples counseling.

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Intimacy After Infidelity: How to Rebuild and Affair-Proof Your Marriage 4 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 4 reviews.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I always thought that if my wife ever cheated on me I'd divorce her right away. Now we've been married for 6 years and have two kids. But I still would have tossed my wife out and divorced her when I found out about her affair if a friend hadn't told me to read this book. The authors knew exactly what I was feeling! What they wrote helped me deal with how bad I was hurt and embarrassed, and how furious I was. I wanted to hurt her back so much! But I still loved her, so I gave "Intimacy after Infidelity" to my wife to read too. It helped us understand why she betrayed me. That helped me feel better instead of thinking it was because I wasn't good enough. And it's still helping me get my trust in her back. Since she read it she has a better idea of how to earn my trust again. Maybe most important of all, the authors explain in a very understandable way what changes we've had to make in our marriage so that we don't let things slide like we were before. Now we're slowly getting closer and closer, which gives me hope that if we keep working on it I won't have to worry about this ever happening again. So if you or someone you care about is going through this in their marriage, do them the biggest favor: get them this book. It saved our marriage and is guiding us in making it better than it ever was.
Guest More than 1 year ago
This book is definatly for a woman trying to start over after an affair. It is written in a woman's perspective, so it is naturally easier to connect with. Easy to read, easy to connect, and graspe a lot of helpful tools and knowledge. Highly recommend.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Anonymous More than 1 year ago