Intimacy and Solitude by Stephanie Dowrick, Paperback | Barnes & Noble
Intimacy and Solitude

Intimacy and Solitude

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by Stephanie Dowrick
     
 

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“[S]elf-help fare at its best” (Kirkus Reviews) that brings one closer to oneself in order to bring one closer to others.Intimacy and Solitudeis the international bestseller that helps you enjoy closeness with others, while maintaining a firm sense of independence. Using stories from her psychotherapy practice and her own life, Stephanie Dowrick shows

Overview

“[S]elf-help fare at its best” (Kirkus Reviews) that brings one closer to oneself in order to bring one closer to others.Intimacy and Solitudeis the international bestseller that helps you enjoy closeness with others, while maintaining a firm sense of independence. Using stories from her psychotherapy practice and her own life, Stephanie Dowrick shows how intimacy begins in discovering and trusting your own self, and then bringing that personal strength into one’s relationships with friends, family, and lovers.

Editorial Reviews

Genre
“Remarkable. . . . In essence, Dowrick sees intimacy and solitude as different expressions of the same self, but to state her conclusions is to miss the fascination of her book as it unfolds.”
Marilyn J. Mason
“Stephanie Dowrick captures the essential essence of what intimacy is all about....Intelligent, broadly informed.”
Publishers Weekly - Publisher's Weekly
Dowrick, a British psychotherapist (and co-founder of the Women's Press in England), examines the complementary roles of intimacy and solitude in this informed and accessible analysis. Basing her theories on the work of such therapists as Alfred Adler, Carl Jung and Roberto Assagioli, she argues that the way in which people experience their sense of self will mirror the way they develop intimate relationships. Through interviews and her own life story, Dowrick discusses how early childhood experiences--experiences that are often different for men and women--determine one's sense of self and eventually one's handling of sexual relationships. In both heterosexual and gay relationships, Dowrick posits, it is important to stop viewing the other as an extension of oneself in order to succeed at intimacy. True solitude, she notes, can develop self-knowledge, which is the key to closeness with others. (Apr.)
Library Journal
Ah, love; a many-splendored but baffling thing! Dowrick, the founder of the Women's Press in England and author of Why Children? ( LJ 4/1/81), theorizes that the way people experience their sense of self reflects the way they experience other people. The importance of genuine love from birth in a caring family is vital to the development of a positive outlook as an adult. Intimacy and solitude in relationships are not as antithetical as they seem, Dowrick claims; rather, they are similar manifestations of the psyche. Her emphasis is on self-responsibility (for both straight and homosexual persons). This is a self-discovery book, not a quick fix formula. Intimacy is again a hot topic, making this title appropriate for public libraries with serious psychology collections as well as academic and professional libraries.-- Scott Johnson, Meridian Community Coll. Lib., Miss.

Product Details

ISBN-13:
9780393313611
Publisher:
Norton, W. W. & Company, Inc.
Publication date:
02/28/1996
Pages:
320
Product dimensions:
5.50(w) x 8.30(h) x 0.90(d)

Related Subjects

Meet the Author

Stephanie Dowrick is the author of Intimacy and Solitude, The Intimacy and Solitude Workbook, and Forgiveness and Other Acts of Love, all available in paperback from Norton. Co-founder and chair of the Women’s Press, Dowrick is a practicing psychotherapist. She lives in New South Wales, Australia with her two children.

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Intimacy and Solitude 4 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 1 reviews.
Guest More than 1 year ago
This book provides this wonderful insight: That `solitude' is desirable and invaluable, that it is not the same as being lonely; that being with one's self is not a transitory phase until one meets the proverbial `Love of One's life'. Instead having a firmly grounded sense of self and a deep love for one's self gives one a companion for a lifetime. This love embraces the `other' thereby allowing one to have authentic, intense moments of intimacy. The author through this book deals with several ideas and questions that have very practical value: Why we do what we do to our most intimate friends and partners? What expectations do we bring to our intimate relationships? How these are related to our expectations from our ownselves? What constitutes emotional maturity? The book develops the basics first. Questions like, 'What is this notion of Self?' are discussed. Also the style is very personal and through several examples and rich dense text, Stephanie Dowrick takes the reader on a journey of new thoughts and realisations. Yet, the author's discussion of intimacy wherein there are two individuals, wherein there is a boundary at which the `other' ends and the `self' begins (even in the most intimate of relationships), raised the following questions within me: What about the complete merging of two lovers that is so much a part of some of the middle eastern and (east) Indian traditions, especially spiritual? In the celebration of Radha and Krishna's mythological love in the folk traditions of (east) India, Radha completely surrenders to Krishna's love. Even the sufi personifies his(no gender bias intended) God as a beloved to Whom he wishes to surrender, with Whom he wishes to merge. Does this mean that with the modern tools of psychoanalysis and therapy one can label Radha or the Sufi as without a sense of Self? I would think not. Though Radha is a mythological figure serving a purpose for a certain culture of a certain ancient time, the Sufis are and have been real people with very high degrees of insight and enlightenment. But one can argue that for most people intimacy is best defined the way it is discussed in this book and that there can exist other traditions of intimacy in other cultures or societies or spiritual traditions. The most important idea is this: In no intimate relationship should we allow ourselves to be smothered or smother the other. I highly recommend this book to all of us. For an understanding of these ideas, which the author takes great pain to explain even at the cost of making them repetitive throughout the book, shall improve the health and quality of one's relationship with one's self and with the `other'.