The Intimacy Dance: A Guide to Long-Term Success in Gay and Lesbian Relationshipsby Betty Berzon
In 1988, Betty Berzon's Permanent Partner was widely hailed as the first significant book aimed at helping lesbian and gay couples build fulfilling relationships. Now, drawing on additional insights gained in the intervening years, she provides specific advice for those in long-term relationships who are coping with the inevitable surprises and complications that… See more details below
In 1988, Betty Berzon's Permanent Partner was widely hailed as the first significant book aimed at helping lesbian and gay couples build fulfilling relationships. Now, drawing on additional insights gained in the intervening years, she provides specific advice for those in long-term relationships who are coping with the inevitable surprises and complications that arise in a relationship that passes the crucial three-year mark. Dr. Berzon discusses couples' fears of growing intimacy or of the loss of identity, and their concerns about waning sexual desire or "predator" others. Since gay and lesbian partners have few models to guide them, couples too often opt for ending the relationship rather than learning to work through their problems. Dr. Berzon's goal, of course, is to help people work it out - not bail out - and to that end she offers effective strategies for reviving a relationship that has gone stale; coping with change and transition in one partner that the other sees as betrayal; understanding the true motives behind a fight that is repeated over and over; opening lines of communication blocked by some unresolved issue; managing external pressures, such as family, career, or children, and internal pressures, such as anxiety, depression, or anger; and learning about couples counseling and how it can help provide stability, continuity, and renewal. While addressing these issues, Dr. Berzon weaves in the story of her own long-term relationship. She deals too with the question of monogamy, and though she encourages gays and lesbians to intensify the pleasures and comforts of permanent relationships, she provides ideas for how best to deal with an open relationship when that is what a couple decides to have.
- Penguin Publishing Group
- Publication date:
- Product dimensions:
- 5.85(w) x 8.77(h) x 1.19(d)
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Ive been gay for quite a while,its been really hard for me to keep a gay relationship going because i kept making making too many mistakes. after ive read this book it helped me understand my partner more and i realized gay relationships are a lot more different than straight ones. I've used its strategies on my new relationship which worked and ive been with my lover michelle mcbride for over 2 years now and im so greatful!! PLEESE READ THIS IT WILL CHANGE UR LIFE!
I was aware of a fear of intimacy in my partner, both because of his previous relationship and circumstances early in our relationship. After reading this book, I really came to understand and identify in both of us, a natural fear of getting to close, of letting someone else be so close as to risk being hurt. Society tends to convince GLBT that they need to 'hide' part of all of their true selves (it's call SURVIVAL!) and it takes a lot of effort to really trust another individual. This book was easy to read and full of many case samples that anyone can relate to.