Is It My Fault?: Hope and Healing for Those Suffering Domestic Violence. [NOOK Book]

Overview

I Don't Want To Go Home. I'm Afraid He'll Do It Again. Is It My Fault?

Globally, one in three women has been beaten, coerced into sex, or otherwise abused. In the United States alone, a woman is assaulted or beaten every nine seconds. Even worse, these statistics don't begin to reveal the darkness and grief experienced by the women themselves. Domestic violence causes physical, psychological, emotional, and spiritual pain. Clearly, its victims ...

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Is It My Fault?: Hope and Healing for Those Suffering Domestic Violence.

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Overview

I Don't Want To Go Home. I'm Afraid He'll Do It Again. Is It My Fault?

Globally, one in three women has been beaten, coerced into sex, or otherwise abused. In the United States alone, a woman is assaulted or beaten every nine seconds. Even worse, these statistics don't begin to reveal the darkness and grief experienced by the women themselves. Domestic violence causes physical, psychological, emotional, and spiritual pain. Clearly, its victims need help, hope, and healing.

Combining theological depth with up-to-date research, Is It My Fault? traces the path from devastation to redemption. Drawing from personal experience and professional expertise as domestic violence counselors, the authors explain how God's grace can heal the deepest wounds. Written for those who have been abused, Is It My Fault? also equips family, friends, and pastors to care in ways that are compassionate, practical, and informed.

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Editorial Reviews

From the Publisher

Is It My Fault? is a must read for all involved in or have been involved in domestic abuse. Being yourself or someone you know, this book helps one to have a better understanding about abuse. I wish I had this book handy when I was in my first marriage. Even though that relationship has been over for over a decade now, I now see how much danger I was in. I would definitely recommend this book for all of those in an abusive relationship. Including teenagers, those in a same sex relationship, and friends and family of the abused. - Amy

"This book is a tour de force of wisdom, goodness, and compassion for those who know the agony and shame of domestic violence and for every leader who interacts with more than four families in a year. One out of every four homes in America will experience domestic abuse and it is no different in the church than in the so-called secular world. In fact, conservative Christians are more likely to remain in violence and think it is biblical. This treasure of a book invites the reader into a sweeping and life giving understanding of the Bible's view of women, violence, suffering, and redemption that if embraced would radically alter how victims and care givers address this heartache. This is a must-read book."

Dan B. Allender, Professor of Counseling Psychology and founding president of the Seattle School of Theology and Psychology

"Specific, tender, concrete, compassionate, bold, understanding, wise, and dyed with the gorgeous gospel of grace that is ours in Christ Jesus. I love this book! It unpacks the experience of the victim without ever feeling coldly analytical. It gives you important things to consider and clear steps to take without ever pushing you. Read it and you'll feel loved, understood, and helped, but best of all you'll rest in the love of Jesus more than you have before."

Paul Tripp, President of Paul Tripp Ministries; executive director of the Center for Pastoral Life and Care in Fort Worth, Texas; and author of A Shelter in the Time of Storm: Meditations on God and Trouble

"The authors' deeply compassionate writing offers us a book that does not merely speak to us, it comes along beside us-offering both experience and in-depth knowledge about this emotionally charged subject. Too often the church has been not merely been silent but complicit in protecting abusers and marginalizing victims. Justin and Lindsey's book takes us in a new direction of hope, healing, and mercy. I am more than happy to commend this book."

Gregory O. Brewer, Bishop of the Episcopal Diocese of Central Florida

"Domestic abuse is an area where sincere but uninformed 'help' can hurt. Unfortunately, even the misuse of Scripture, often by well-meaning Christians, can become part of the problem. Justin and Lindsey serve the church well by defining what abuse is, what Scripture says, how victims should respond, and how pastor-counselors can be effectively involved. This is a must-read for pastors, victims, and friends of victims. This issue is too prevalent and devastating to be ignored. The blind eye of the church hurts those without a voice. Read this book and become equipped to effectively care for those whose cry is reaching the ear of God and are waiting for a hand from the body of Christ."

Brad Hambrick, Pastor of counseling at The Summit Church (Durham, NC) and author of Self-Centered Spouse: Help for Chronically Broken Marriages

"This is it. This is the book on domestic violence that needs to be sitting on every pastor's desk, required reading for every seminarian, and the next book discussed among church leadership, in book clubs, Bible studies, home groups, and lay counselor trainings. Not only do Justin and Lindsey compassionately and responsibly define domestic violence, identify its signs, its cycles, and its effects on the victims and their communities, they take us to Scripture to reveal God's heart for those unnecessarily afflicted and trapped in violent domestic relationships. Each person who reads this book will have a better understanding of how to identify domestic violence in their own relationships or in those of people they know, love, and minister to. And with a thorough appendix of practical information and steps to take, both the victims and the ones supporting them will gain the insight and clarity they need to prevent the violence from happening again."

Monica Taffinder, Cofounder and counselor, Grace Clinic Christian Counseling

"While reading this book I found myself regularly exclaiming 'Amen!' and 'Come on!' to Lindsey and Justin's wisdom and biblical understanding of the issues. This book is a valuable and important resource for Christian women who have experienced abuse and for all those who want to support them. Lindsey and Justin invite the Christian community to honor and value women and children and to no longer collude with, perpetuate, or indeed perpetrate abuse against those whom God has created. I have been looking for a book to recommend to women in the conservative Christian church and their supporters; this book is ideal."

Natalie Collins, Activist working to end violence against women and gender injustice; founder of the DAY Programme and Spark

"In simple, eloquent prose, Justin and Lindsey Holcomb shine a light on the darkness surrounding domestic violence. As detailed in the accounts of survivors, the very husbands and fathers charged with the care of their families sometimes represent the greatest threat. Equally troublesome, many clergy and church leaders routinely support offenders and ostracize victims. In making clear that God stands with the suffering, this book offers survivors a path to healing and the church a path to reform."

Victor Vieth, Executive Director, National Child Protection Training Center; child protection attorney; author

"Justin and Lindsey have done it again! Their book on sexual abuse, Rid My Disgrace, and now this one, Is It My Fault?, are gifts to the church, its leaders, and especially to those who suffer from the horror andpain of sexual assault and domestic violence. In this book you will find compassionate, practical, biblical, and grace-based help for those who suffer and for those who love and want to help those who suffer. If you are a pastor or a leader and care, this is not an optional book. You will 'rise up and call' Justin and Lindsey blessed for writing it . . . and, more important, those to whom you minister will, too."

Steve Brown, Host, Key Life Radio Program; author, Three Free Sins: God Isn't Mad At You

"Domestic violence demands silence-perpetrators don't want to be exposed, and victims are too ashamed to speak. Justin and Lindsey counter that silence with words and deeds. They give words to describe it, words to speak to the Lord, words that remind us of the truth, such as 'It is never my fault' and 'He [God] delights in us,' and deeds that can bring the violence to an end."

Ed Welch. Counselor and Faculty, the Christian Counseling and Educational Foundation; author

"The roots of domestic violence and the resulting wounds and scars are deep and enduring. So I am very grateful for the wisdom and expertise of Justin and Lindsey Holcomb in helping the church understand and apply the biblical requirements of justice and accountability and the biblical promises of healing and hope. The Holcombs' work is a gift from God to all of us and a valuable ministry of Christ's restorative gospel for those who have suffered great harm."

Jared Wilson, Pastor of Middletown Springs Community Church and author of Gospel Wakefulness

"One of every four women you know has or will face intimate partner violence. What does the God of Scripture say to them? In this rich and rare resource, Justin and Lindsey Holcomb combine their theological and practical training to offer these women a way out of both abuse and the shame and despair that accompany it. They show powerfully how the 'one-way violence' of abusers is overcome by the 'one-way love' of God in Christ. I recommend this book to every church leader looking for a truly Christ-centered response to domestic violence in their midst."

Katelyn Beaty, Managing Editor, Christianity Today

"Could the gospel be not just for sinners, but for victims? Having worked with many who have been impacted by psychological, sexual, and physical abuse, I am so grateful for this book. It reminds me, once again, that the gospel is indeed good news-particularly to those who have been victimized."

Chuck DeGroat, Associate Professor of Pastoral Care and Counseling, Western Theological Seminary; senior fellow, Newbigin House of Studies; and author of Toughest People to Love

"The Holcombs offer an 'intervention of grace' to those who suffer under domestic violence. They show that the God of the Bible abounds in grace and love, restoring dignity and hope to those who've been harmed. Victims will find a voice to speak out about the violence they've endured, guided by the very words of Scripture, and they will find a God who acts with righteous power to rescue the oppressed."

Mike Wilkerson, Author, Redemption: Freed by Jesus from the Idols We Worship and the Wounds We Carry

 

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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9780802485618
  • Publisher: Moody Publishers
  • Publication date: 5/1/2014
  • Sold by: Barnes & Noble
  • Format: eBook
  • Edition description: New Edition
  • Pages: 240
  • Sales rank: 840,712
  • File size: 4 MB

Meet the Author

LINDSEY HOLCOMB counsels victims of sexual assault and domestic violence. Previously, she worked at a sexual assault crisis center and also served as a case manager at a domestic violence shelter. Lindsey provided crisis intervention to victims of sexual assault and domestic violence and conducted a variety of training seminars to service providers. Her graduate research focused on violence against women and public health responses.She and her husband, Justin, are authors of: Is It My Fault?: Hope and Healing for Those Suffering Domestic Violence and Rid of My Disgrace: Hope and Healing for Victims of Sexual Assault.She was cofounder of REST (Real Escape from the Sex Trade).

JUSTIN HOLCOMB is an Episcopal priest and teaches theology, philosophy, and Christian thought at Gordon-Conwell-Theological Seminary and Reformed Theological Seminary. He holds two masters degrees from Reformed Theological Seminary and a Ph.D. from Emory University.Justin has written or edited numerous books: Know the Heretics, Know the Creeds and Councils, On the Grace of God, Acts: A 12-Week Study, For the World, and Christian Theologies of Scripture.He and his wife, Lindsey, are authors of: Is It My Fault?: Hope and Healing for Those Suffering Domestic Violence and Rid of My Disgrace: Hope and Healing for Victims of Sexual Assault.Justin serves on the boards of REST (Real Escape from the Sex Trade) and GRACE (Godly Response to Abuse in Christian Environments). He also serves on the council board of the Biblical Counseling Coalition.Connect with Justin Holcomb on Twitter, Facebook, Amazon, and his blog.
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Read an Excerpt

IS IT MY FAULT?

HOPE AND HEALING FOR THOSE SUFFERING DOMESTIC VIOLENCE


By JUSTIN S. HOLCOMB, LINDSEY A. HOLCOMB, Stephanie S. Smith

Moody Publishers

Copyright © 2014 Justin S. Holcomb and Lindsey A. Holcomb
All rights reserved.
ISBN: 978-0-8024-1024-5



CHAPTER 1

Deliver Us from Evil


Domestic abuse looks different in different households.

Sometimes the abuse is physical, and hitting, shouting, or hair pulling are a regular part of your home. Other times, the abuser won't ever lay a hand on you—but you will be shamed, called names, and manipulated. Maybe you think you did something to spur him on, or that you were too passive or too demanding, or that you are somehow, in some way, to blame for the abuse you are experiencing.

Your experience of domestic abuse may be very different than someone else's, but no matter what, one truth stands the same for all: It is never your fault.

No matter what kind of abuse you have experienced, there is nothing you can do, nothing you can say, nothing you think that makes you deserving of it. There is no mistake you could have made and no sin you could have committed to make you deserving of violence.

You do not deserve this. And it is never your fault.

You did not ask for this. You should not be silenced. You are not worthless. You do not have to pretend like nothing happened. You are not damaged goods, forgotten or ignored by God, or "getting what you deserve."

But you are created in the image of God. You should be treated with dignity, love, and respect, but instead you are or were the victim of abuse and violence, and it was wrong. You were sinned against.

If you're still not convinced, listen to the opinion of domestic violence expert Lundy Bancroft: "Abuse is not caused by relationship dynamics. You can't manage your partner's abusiveness by changing your behavior, but he wants you to think that you can." Situations of domestic violence are often extremely difficult to deal with, because abusers are often masters of control and manipulation.

If you are in a situation of domestic abuse or think you might be, there's a few things you need to know. First, the abuse is not your fault. Second, while you may feel drained, depressed, frightened, ashamed, and confused, you are not alone. And third, help is available to you.

Maybe the abuse isn't physical—that doesn't mean it's not abuse. Most abuse cases begin with emotional, verbal, and other non-physical forms of abuse and then escalate to physical forms. Or maybe the abuse has been going on for a while and shows no sign of becoming physical.

It might seem as though "violence" is too intense of a word to describe the kind of abuse that's "only" emotional. Here's what theologian Hans Boersma has to say about that: "Violence need not necessarily be physical. Emotional abuse can be just as damaging as physical abuse—and at times even more so." Ethicist Wolfgang Huber argues that violence is better defined as the intent to hurt or torture, more than physical injury.

The fact that your abuse doesn't send you to the hospital or leave scars doesn't make it any less painful, and it doesn't make it any less wrong. The scars of emotional abuse are very real, they can run very deep, and they are not to be dismissed. In fact, emotional abuse can be just as damaging as physical abuse—sometimes even more so (we'll talk about this more in chapter 4).

Violence seems like an intense word. But that is exactly what the experience of domestic violence is. There is both physical and nonphysical violence. Augustinian Friar Donald X. Burt defines a violent act as "any act which contravenes the rights of another. It can also be described as an act which causes injury to the life, property, or person of a human being, oneself, or others." Leo. D. Lefebure, a professor at Georgetown University, offers a helpful definition of violence as "the attempt of an individual or group to impose its will on others through any nonverbal, verbal, or physical means that inflict psychological or physical injury."

Naming domestic violence for what it is—and dealing with it as such—is important for this essential reason: the abuse usually gets worse. Infrequent episodes usually progress to more frequent ones. Less severe episodes usually progress to more severe ones. Domestic abuse often escalates from threats and verbal abuse to physical violence. And while physical injury may be the most obvious danger, the emotional and psychological consequences of domestic abuse are also severe.

If you're reading this and see signs that you are in an abusive relationship, we applaud you for having the courage to name what you are experiencing, to call it what it is, and to begin seeking a better way. Because the truth is, you were made for more than this. God loves you and it grieves Him to see you suffer this abuse—whatever it might look like. We applaud you for picking up this book in the first place, which is nothing less than an act of courage.

And we sincerely hope and pray you will next act on that courage by removing yourself from the abuse. This isn't about mustering up more courage to stay with him and continue to put yourself in harm's way. No, this is about courage to do what's best for you by fleeing the abuse altogether, in order to find a physically, emotionally, and spiritually safe place. This is our greatest hope for you.

Of course the process of getting to that safe place will be complicated and multi-layered. Because as long as you are in a relationship with an abusive person, the abuse will not simply go away on its own. You don't need to confront him alone, because what you most need is to be safe and we will provide several strategies for this. We will be also very straightforward with you about the sort of dangers you will risk when you break off an abusive relationship so that you know what you will have to watch out for (or, if you are a friend or loved one, what you can help guard against).

The process of getting to that safe place may sound frightening or even impossible at this point, but to stay poses an even greater risk to you and your children, if you have them.

The pain is real, but the healing and hope is just as real. We are convinced, because the Bible teaches it and experience confirms it, that "God is the God of Life, the one who redeems. Our faith teaches us that out of suffering, loss, and death, God brings life." God protects and delivers His people from suffering, abuse, and violence.

Jesus would not have taught us to ask God to "Deliver us from evil," if it were not possible.


DELIVER US FROM EVIL

This truth comes from the Lord's Prayer, which is one of the most well-known passages in the Bible. Here is a traditional version found in Matthew 6:9-13:

Our Father in heaven,
hallowed be your name,
your kingdom come,
your will be done,
on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us today our daily bread.
And forgive us our debts,
as we also have forgiven our debtors.
And lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from the evil one.

We're going to spend a minute on this prayer because it is familiar to a lot of Christians and explains why we believe God offers hope—concrete hope—for victims of domestic violence (more on this in chapter 9).

Some of the prayer seems, well, just spiritual. When we pray for God to be honored, to forgive our sins, or to deliver us from temptation, it can seem like we are asking for things to happen on some special spiritual plane apart from the real world. After all, how can we tangibly tell if God is honored?

But then the other half of the prayer asks for concrete, visible things. God's will on earth. Daily bread. And finally—and for us, most importantly—deliverance from evil. These are reminders that God's power extends to the everyday realm and that He is active in our lives.

Not all of the people we meet are trustworthy. Not all of the environments we live in are trustworthy. The ordinary, everyday world is filled with evil and fraught with temptation. This portion of the Lord's Prayer, then, is about asking God to bolster our faith, to give us strength, and to save us from evil and its effects—violence, affliction, and suffering.

This, by the way, is a prayer our heavenly Father loves to answer yes to. The Lord's Prayer addresses God as Abba—the word used by Jewish children for their earthly fathers. Praying to God as "Our Father" conveys the authority, warmth, and intimacy of a loving father's care. "Our Father" is also "in heaven," reminding believers of God's sovereign rule over all things—including the things that we fear the most. And not only that, but our loving and powerful Abba wants to and is able to deliver us from evil. An incredible thought!

Of course, the thought of calling God "Father" is not a comforting one for some. Many have experienced not love from their earthly fathers, but abuse. And for those with this experience, to see God through this lens is anything but a comfort. But God is not a God of abuse, and to Him, being Abba is to be tender, loving, and protecting. And He is powerful enough to transform your definition of this word—despite the pain you may associate with it.

Because this Abba yearns to deliver His children from evil, not subject them to it. And what's more, He is able to do just that for you.


WHAT YOU'LL FIND IN THIS BOOK

If you're reading this and have suffered domestic abuse, we know you must be in the midst of a whirlwind of emotions. So we'll cut to the chase and tell exactly where you can find what you most need to hear:

• If you need to know if what you're experiencing is domestic abuse, please turn to chapter 2.

• If you need to know if others will recognize what you're suffering is considered domestic abuse, please go to chapter 3.

• If you need to know whether you should leave or stay, please turn to chapters 5 and 10.

• If you need to know what he's really thinking and what the obstacles might be to leaving, please turn to chapter 4.

• If you need step-by-step advice on how to get out of an abusive relationship, including supporters to contact, numbers to call, and plans to help you stay safe, please go to appendixes 1 and 2.

• If you are suffering from shame, guilt, and other negative emotions as the result of abuse, please turn to chapter 6.

• If you need to recover from an experience where the words of the Bible have been used to threaten you or keep you in submission, please turn to chapters 7 and 8.

• If you need to know how God views you and your situation, please turn to chapter 9.

• If you need to pray, but don't have the words, please turn to chapter 11.


WHO THIS BOOK IS FOR

Victims and Survivors of Abuse

We use the term "victim" throughout the book, and before we go further we want to explain what we mean. The term "victim" signifies the cruelty and unfairness of domestic violence and puts the responsibility for the assault where it belongs—on the assailant. In this book, we use the term "victim," though "survivor" can also be appropriate as well. Generally, the terms are used interchangeably by people who have experienced domestic violence and by the professionals who interact with them.

However, there are distinctions. "Victim" is often associated with the early trauma following an experience of domestic violence and emphasizes the fact that frequently a crime has been committed. This term is also used for emergency department responses. The terms "survivor" and "victim/survivor" are most often used within later periods of recovery to reclaim power. "Survivor" is often the chosen word for those who do not want to be viewed as remaining under the perpetrator's influence and control.

We will use the term "victim" rather than "survivor" for two reasons. First, the unfortunate reality is that not all victims are survivors as many victims of domestic abuse are killed. Second, some victims do not feel like survivors and using that term can heap shame on them as if they have failed or done something wrong in the healing process. If you prefer the term "survivor," we support you in your chosen identity.

However you identify yourself, please understand this: this book is a resource for healing and hope, not a substitute for reporting abuse, legal care, medical care, counseling, pastoral care, or family and community support. We focus exclusively on the emotional pain resulting from the violence and what the Bible says about the experience of domestic violence. We have ministered to many victims who want and need a clear explanation of how God's grace applies to their experiences of domestic violence and its effects on their lives. We have also talked to many family members, friends, and ministers who know someone who was abused and are looking for a solid, gospel-based book that would be helpful in serving victims.


Pastors, Ministry Leaders, Friends, and Family

If you have tried to approach a church about your experience with abuse and been disappointed, you know firsthand that many churches are woefully under-equipped to deal with domestic violence. This is a tragic reality, and one we hope will soon change. But please don't write churches off altogether as a resource for your struggle. Instead, see appendix 3 for ways your local church can care for you if you are at risk.

While this book is primarily for you, it is also for church leaders, church members, and friends and family who know someone in an abusive situation.

If you are a leader in ministry, statistics tell us there are people under your care who have suffered—or are currently suffering—from domestic violence. This is particularly tragic because part of God's mission for the church is to proclaim Gods healing and to seek justice for everyone it encounters. And this book is to help equip you in doing just that for women in abusive situations. Additionally, we've put together a list of resources to help further your understanding of domestic violence and how to care for its victims, which you can find in appendix 4.


Women

Finally, we talk about women and use female pronouns for victims. Statistics, which we'll discuss later, point to the fact that the overwhelming majority of domestic violence victims are women. But we also know that there are male victims out there as well, who sometimes suffer from the added burden of feeling that it is unacceptable or a personal failure for a man to be the victim of domestic violence. If you are a man who has been victimized, even though we will focus on women here, please know that you are not forgotten.


A Prayer to Begin

If reading this has sparked the urge to pray, Psalm 55 may be especially apt for you before you read any further. It is a prayer that pleads with God to comfort and save a person who has been harmed by someone close to them. God listens not only to religious psalm writers and holy men from thousands of years ago; He listens to your prayers and cries too. Perhaps the words of Psalm 55 can serve as your prayer.

Listen to my prayer, O God,
do not ignore my plea;
hear me and answer me ...
If an enemy were insulting me,
I could endure it;
if a foe were rising against me,
I could hide.
But it is you, a man like myself,
my companion, my close friend,
with whom I once enjoyed sweet fellowship
at the house of God,
as we walked about
among the worshipers.
Let death take my enemies by surprise;
let them go down alive to the realm of the dead,
for evil finds lodging among them ...
Evening, morning and noon
I cry out in distress,
and he hears my voice.
(Ps. 55:2–3,13–15,17–18)

CHAPTER 2

Am I in an Abusive Relationship?


You may already know the answer to this question. But if you don't, it's okay to explore the issue. Either way, we believe you'll soon find you are not alone in your experience.

When the abuse first begins, many women in abusive relationships aren't sure if what they are experiencing is abusive. In fact, one of the biggest hurdles to addressing domestic violence is that very few victims self-identify as experiencing abuse. Many think abuse happens to "those women" and don't want to have the stigma of being one of "those women."

The most telling sign that you are in an abusive relationship is living in fear of your partner. If you feel like you have to walk on eggshells around him—constantly watching what you say and do in order to avoid a blowup—your relationship is unhealthy and likely abusive. Other signs include your partner's belittling of you, his attempts to control you, and feelings of self-loathing, helplessness, and desperation.

An abuser typically has a well-stocked arsenal of ways to exert power over you. He may employ domination, humiliation, isolation, threats, intimidation, denial, blame, and more. What's more, he is often creative and strategic in when—and how—to put these to their most effective use.

None of this is your fault. Your abuser is the only one to blame.

And because he is so good at deceptively wielding control, it can often be difficult to discern if you are being abused. From the perspective of outside observers, these signs of abuse may be cut–and–dry. But for those trapped in the cycles of abuse, making sense of these complicated relational dynamics—especially when the relationship is intimate—can be suffocating and confusing.

If this is where you find yourself right now, here are some ways to discern if your relationship is abusive.


(Continues...)

Excerpted from IS IT MY FAULT? by JUSTIN S. HOLCOMB, LINDSEY A. HOLCOMB, Stephanie S. Smith. Copyright © 2014 Justin S. Holcomb and Lindsey A. Holcomb. Excerpted by permission of Moody Publishers.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.

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Table of Contents

Contents

Foreword, 11,
Introduction, 15,
Part 1 What Is Domestic Violence?,
1. Deliver Us from Evil, 21,
2. Am I in an Abusive Relationship?, 31,
3. Why Does He Choose to Abuse, 49,
4. What Is Domestic Violence?, 55,
5. What Are the Effects of Domestic Violence?, 69,
Part 2 Women, Domestic Violence, and the Bible,
6. Does the Grace of God Apply to Me, 81,
7. What Does the Bible Say about Women?, 93,
8. What Does the Bible Say about Violence against Women?, 107,
9. What Does the Bible Say about God Delivering Victims?, 117,
10. Does the Bible Say I Should Suffer Abuse and Violence?, 127,
Part 3 Reflections on Psalms,
11. You Save Me from Violence: Psalm 18, 143,
12. Will God Remain Faithful?: Psalm 22, 157,
13. But I Will Trust in You: Psalm 55, 165,
A Final Word, 179,
Acknowledgments, 183,
Appendix 1: Getting Help, 185,
Appendix 2: Making a Safety Plan, 187,
Appendix 3: The Church and Women at Risk, 199,
Recommended Reading and Bibliography, 205,
Notes, 207,

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