Is It You, Me, or Adult A.D.D.?: Stopping the Roller Coaster When Someone You Love Has Attention Deficit Disorder

Is It You, Me, or Adult A.D.D.?: Stopping the Roller Coaster When Someone You Love Has Attention Deficit Disorder

4.2 12
by Gina Pera, Pam Ward
     
 

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The science has been clear since 1994, when Adult ADHD was declared a medical diagnosis. Still, the public harbors misconceptions, and that means millions suffer needlessly. And that includes millions of couples who can't understand why their lives together are so hard-sometimes despite many attempts at couples therapy. Everyone knows someone with adult ADHD. Yet

Overview

The science has been clear since 1994, when Adult ADHD was declared a medical diagnosis. Still, the public harbors misconceptions, and that means millions suffer needlessly. And that includes millions of couples who can't understand why their lives together are so hard-sometimes despite many attempts at couples therapy. Everyone knows someone with adult ADHD. Yet we misattribute the symptoms to anxiety, depression, or even laziness, selfishness, or moodiness. Moreover, we assume ADHD means "little boys with ants in their pants." In fact, childhood hyperactivity goes "underground" as the person matures, resulting in a mentally restless state. Meticulously researched by award-winning journalist Gina Pera, Is It You, Me, or Adult A.D.D.? is a comprehensive guide to recognizing the behaviors where you least expect them (on the road and in the bedroom, for example) and developing compassion for couples wrestling with unrecognized ADHD symptoms. It also offers the latest information from top experts, plenty of real-life details, and easy-to-understand guidelines for finding the best treatment options and practical solutions. The revolutionary message is one of hope for millions of people-and a joyous opportunity for a better life.

Editorial Reviews

Library Journal

According to Pera, approximately 10 to 30 million adults in the United States have Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD). A writer/editor who moderates an ADHD online support group, Pera views the syndrome as a brain-based impairment to be treated with medication, and she uses original online survey data (111 partner respondents) as well as detailed case studies and compatible research findings to support her position. She begins with an explanation of ADHD and its manifestations in later life, then addresses the devastating effects of living with an ADHD-afflicted partner. In the final section, she provides coping strategies. Adult ADHD is largely presented here as the cause of a host of problems ranging from overspending and bad driving to abusive behavior; such sweeping findings and generalizations also characterize discussions concluding that ADHD may be more debilitating than established psychiatric/psychological conditions like anxiety disorders and major depression. More practical are Pera's guidelines for choosing a therapist and communicating with an ADHD-afflicted partner. While ADHD is a controversial psychological construct, this book is a unique compendium of information on the topic for lay readers. Suitable for comprehensive consumer mental-health collections.
—Antoinette Brinkman

From the Publisher
"Insightful, helpful, witty, and very practical. This book can change your life." ---Daniel G. Amen, M.D., author of Change Your Brain, Change Your Life

Product Details

ISBN-13:
9781452635408
Publisher:
Tantor Media, Inc.
Publication date:
11/28/2011
Edition description:
Library - Unabridged CD
Product dimensions:
6.80(w) x 6.50(h) x 1.10(d)

What People are saying about this

From the Publisher
"Insightful, helpful, witty, and very practical. This book can change your life." —-Daniel G. Amen, M.D., author of Change Your Brain, Change Your Life

Meet the Author

Gina Pera is a San Francisco-based freelance journalist. Her work producing special issues for USA Weekend won the prestigious Best Magazine Edition award from the Association for Women in Communications and a Unity Award in Media. A nationally known advocate for ADHD awareness and effective treatment standards, she writes two blogs about ADHD: ADHDPartner.org and ADHDRollerCoaster.org. Pam Ward has had many incarnations, including private detective, classical musician, television talk-show host, and actress, having performed in dinner theater, summer stock, and Off-Broadway, as well as in commercials, radio, and film. But she found her true calling reading books for the blind and physically handicapped for the Library of Congress Talking Books program, for which she received the prestigious Alexander Scourby Award from the American Foundation for the Blind. Her many audiobooks include Dancing in the Streets by Barbara Ehrenreich, Breaking Free by Lauraine Snelling, The Second Journey by Joan Anderson, and Lion in the White House by Aida D. Donald. She now records from her studio amidst the beauty of the Southern Oregon mountains.

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Is It You Me or Adult Add? 4.2 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 12 reviews.
EdParks More than 1 year ago
This is an excellent book if your partner has been diagnosed with ADD (aka ADHD) or you suspect they may have ADD - A must read for either of these situations. Stop the crazy cycle!
KWSkultetyLVT More than 1 year ago
After I read The ADHD Effect on Marriage, I searched for similar books. This one kept popping up and seemed to be highly regarded, so I gave it the highest compliment I could: I purchased a copy. This book is put together very well, and operates under the premise that ADD is not “so much of a disorder of attention as it is a disorder of self-regulation”, according to psychologist Russell Barkley, who wrote the foreword.  The theme of the book is the ‘roller coaster’ that both ADD’ers and non experience on a daily basis, and so the chapter headings are related to our favorite amusement park rides.  There are three parts; first, what is ADHD and how it affects you/your partner, second, what happens when you hit rock bottom and either decide to get treatment (or not), and three, how to succeed in building your relationship back with different strategies. As you read, you get the sense that you are part of a support group, as you read other’s stories and get to know what lessons they have learned along the way. The difference between this book and the one I mentioned above, is that this goes into much more detail, with explanations as to WHY these things happen, and HOW to fix them. I found myself highlighting sections, seeing how there are common threads among ADD’ers and their significant others, and even learning more about brain function.  Each chapter contains a few ADHD Partner Snapshot graphs, which show the results of surveys taken from 162 responders. There are chapters devoted to denial, medications, finances, therapy, co-existing disorders, sex, coping skills, and more. Understanding the spectrum of ADHD takes patience, time, and teamwork, and that is the author’s intent. Where The ADD Effect On Marriage told me about the emotions that ADD’ers experience, this book goes deeper. I learned in real people’s words how they dealt with frustration and despair, and how most (but not all) took steps to regain the love and trust they once felt. I highly recommend this book, as it gives you strategies and sources for help, without being preachy or too glib. The book concentrates on getting help for both the ADD and non ADD partner, without being too touchy feely. Solutions for issues are discussed from all sides, and are eminently able to accomplish. Interested? You can pick up a copy here.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Best book out there on AD/HD! It has answered almost every question I had as to why my husband acts the way he does. I finally know I am not crazy or imagining things
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
This book helped me to understand so much. It answered soooo many questions. It gave me the piece of mind I needed to know that it wasn't necessarily my fault and I wasn't imagining the things I was observing with my husband, and it validated some of my feelings. If you suspect your spouse may have ADHD this book will help you understand and deal with all the feelings and emotional roller coaster you are going through.
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