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It Sucked and Then I Cried: How I Had a Baby, a Breakdown, and a Much Needed Margarita

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Overview

To the dedicated millions who can’t get enough of Heather’s unique style and hilarious stories on her hugely popular blog, there’s little she doesn’t share about her daily life as a recovering Mormon, wife of a charming geek, lover of awful television, and stay-at-home mom to five-year-old Leta, newborn Marlo, and two willful dogs..

Now, Heather shares, with biting wit and unrelenting honesty, all the other minor details of pregnancy and motherhood that no one cares to ...

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It Sucked and Then I Cried: How I Had a Baby, a Breakdown, and a Much Needed Margarita

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Overview

To the dedicated millions who can’t get enough of Heather’s unique style and hilarious stories on her hugely popular blog, there’s little she doesn’t share about her daily life as a recovering Mormon, wife of a charming geek, lover of awful television, and stay-at-home mom to five-year-old Leta, newborn Marlo, and two willful dogs..

Now, Heather shares, with biting wit and unrelenting honesty, all the other minor details of pregnancy and motherhood that no one cares to mention—like anxiety, constipation, and postpartum depression. There are lonely days, sleepless nights, and endless screaming. There’s the boredom that comes with caring for someone whose primary means of communication is through her bowels. And there’s the heart-swelling joy and utterly irresistible and totally redeemable fresh baby smell that makes it all worthwhile..

It Sucked and Then I Cried is a brave cautionary tale about crossing over that invisible line to the other side (the parenting side), where everything changes, and it can get pretty unpleasant. But more importantly, it’s a celebration of a love so big it threatens to make your heart explode. .

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Editorial Reviews

From Barnes & Noble
Don't let the pristine needlepoint and cross-stitching on the cover mislead you: This book is not something you will ever encounter at your grandmother's backyard sale. Author Heather B. Armstrong is the owner and proprietor of Dooce.com, one of the most visited autobiographical blogs in cyberspace. At her hip website, she shares her strong opinions about her life and other catastrophes, including -- but not limited to -- pregnancy, parenting, unruly pets, antidepressants, Christmas music, family gatherings, rubber spiders, and shopping.
Kirkus Reviews
Feisty blogger and relapsed Mormon Armstrong takes her no-holds-barred approach to life from screen to page as she dishes on the elation, transformation and despair that mark pregnancy, childbirth and parenting..The author abandoned her rigid religious upbringing upon hitting adulthood in Los Angeles, where she developed a desire for Interpol, tequila, her husband Jon, cursing and eventually offspring. Pregnancy delivered Armstrong to the folds of Utah and the joy of her mother, here dubbed "The Avon World Sales Leader." The Utah setting provides comic relief, as the author expatiates on her family's five minivans and the mortal sin of bottle-feeding. Describing the period after daughter Leta was born, Armstrong occasionally interrupts her account to reprint letters she penned monthly to her budding baby. Tender yet mature in tone, these convey the miracles and catastrophes of motherhood from a perspective that contrasts interestingly with the day-to-day narrative, which reflects Armstrong's blogger roots. Among the never-ending—and occasionally repetitive—string of incidents for which new parents are rarely prepared, she chronicles a colorful apology to a Starbucks cashier and a crazed hunt for a missing infant sock. Self-admittedly not a poster child for stability, the author chooses to give a leading role to her history with chronic depression rather than sweeping it under the rug. (Only her anatomy gets higher billing than her low spirits.) She's forthcoming about the strain depression placed on her otherwise solid marriage and the fact that it sometimes impaired her capacity to care for Leta. Armstrong places herself on the chopping block so fellow mothers can follow her withoutguilt through such common experiences as the debate over pacifier abuse, the horror of hemorrhoids and the agonizing slowness of postpartum recovery..A truthful picture of what it takes to bring a life into the world, exposing Achilles heels large and small.
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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9781439171509
  • Publisher: Gallery Books
  • Publication date: 3/23/2010
  • Pages: 262
  • Sales rank: 464,675
  • Product dimensions: 9.04 (w) x 6.00 (h) x 0.69 (d)

Meet the Author

Heather Armstrong

Heather B. Armstrong is an American blogger who resides in Salt Lake City, Utah. She and husband Jon Armstrong have a daughter and two dogs: Former Congressman Henry "Buck" Chucklesworth, called Chuck, and Dame Eleanor Ritzford-Fitzsimons Puffs, a.k.a Coco.

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Table of Contents

Prologue vii

1 Let the Anxiety Commence 1

2 How to Exploit an Unborn Baby 22

3 A Twenty-pound Basketball With Legs and Arms 33

4 Dressing Like a Concubine in Humpty Dumpty's Harem 46

5 Labor to the Tune of Janet Jackson's Nipple 63

6 You Have to Peed the Baby ... Through Your Boobs 81

7 Sympathy for the World 95

8 It's All Fun and Games Until Someone Pokes Their Eye Out With a Baby 101

9 The Dive That Turned Into a Belly Flop 122

10 Your Biological Clock Is a Dumbass 135

11 Other Mothers: Your Harshest Critics 153

12 Trusting the Wisdom of a Dog 165

13 Finally, Proof That I Was in the Room When She Was Conceived 180

14 Heather, Interrupted 190

15 Her Screamness Who Screams a Lot Every Day With the Screaming 201

16 If Your Wife Is Pregnant, You Might Want to Skip This One 210

17 My Arms Spread Completely Wide 223

18 I Never Thought I Would Become This Woman 243

Afterword 255

Acknowledgments 261

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Customer Reviews

Average Rating 4
( 262 )
Rating Distribution

5 Star

(96)

4 Star

(76)

3 Star

(45)

2 Star

(24)

1 Star

(21)

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See All Sort by: Showing 1 – 20 of 265 Customer Reviews
  • Posted January 23, 2010

    Just OK.

    I recently discovered Heather's blog, and enjoyed reading that, so I decided to give the book a try. Her sarcasm grew tiresome after only a few chapters, and I lost interest about halfway through. Her writing style is better suited for a blog - not so much for an entire book.

    Not terrible, but I probably wouldn't recommend it...

    4 out of 4 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted January 30, 2010

    hysterical

    I found this irreverent look at pregnancy and childbirth hysterical. I live in a house with three people who have mental illness and could empathize with the author; however, having been pregnant twice, I found it refreshing that someone would expres their true feelings about the experience and that it could be so funny. I would recommend this book to all women who have been pregnant or are about to be pregnant.

    3 out of 4 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Posted February 11, 2011

    Disappointing

    I was hoping to enjoy this book as I'm a newish first-time parent myself,but I thought it was terrible.Everything was so ridiculously over-exaggerated in an attempt to be funny,that it had rather the opposite effect and was extremely annoying. Since I'm one of those people who hates leaving even a bad book half-read,I did finish it but didn't enjoy it at all.

    2 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Posted January 15, 2011

    The title is great, but if ur planning to have a baby soon its not a good choice!

    This book has its funny parts, but overall I think it puts too much of a negative tone on pregnancy and having children. If she thought it sucked that much, then why did she have a second! I couldnt finish this one...

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted December 30, 2010

    whiny

    one star..want my money back

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted December 17, 2010

    I Laughed, and Then I Cried

    It Sucked and Then I Cried / 978-1-416-95914-4 I haven't really followed Heather Armstrong's blog, although I've read just enough of her to know I find her truly hilarious, so I picked up this book in an off moment figuring I'd read it "later". Somewhat ironically, I mindlessly turned to this book when I was in a depressed funk over my complicated journey trying to conceive, and I'm amazed to say that this book was the ONE thing that would lift my spirits back to a happy place. For me, at least, this book is *hilarious*. I didn't just laugh - I snorted, wheezed, and chortled my way through the first half of this book. I howled so hard that tears streamed down my face and my throat hurt from laughing so hard. Hearing Heather detail all the ups and downs of her pregnancy didn't - of course - lessen my own intense desire to conceive, but rather made me laugh at all the "fun" I have to look forward to. There's something very wonderful about Armstrong's writing - she reminds me somewhat of a modernized Erma Bombeck, with her ability to combine sarcasm and gallows humor with a strong streak of self-parody, and yet - underneath it all - you can still see how fiercely and passionately she loves her family. "It Sucked and Then I Cried" covers all the hilariously fun things that you don't learn in the pregnancy magazines, from the contortions you'll go through just to empty your bladder, to the sleepless nights from being crushed by the gravity of your own body, and it is a testament to Heather's writing skills that all this is rendered completely, totally, breathtakingly funny. Later in the second half, Armstrong details her own "breakdown", culminating in a hospitalization for her postpartum depression, and I am so humbled at her matter-of-fact tone and her willingness to share these personal experiences. The tone throughout is still very funny, but the laughs lessen slightly as the tears take over. It's impossible to not feel sympathy for this vulnerable woman wracked with chemical depression, and for her patient and wonderful husband who helps her through this time. And it's impossible to not feel grateful for her sharing these experiences, because when and if it hits in your life, you're grateful to know that there's not alone, there is hope, and life can get better. I loved this book from start to finish, and I really think this is the best book I've read all year. I'm baffled by the poor reviews, but apparently there's some overlap between this book and the author's blog? (This confuses me, really, because when I like an online humorist I WANT to get a "book version" of their blog - I didn't buy all those "Best of Dave Barry" books for nothing, after all.) My recommendation would be to download a sample of the first chapter, and see how it goes - if you're crying with laughter from the sample, you'll want more, I promise. ~ Ana Mardoll

    1 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted May 6, 2010

    Wouldn't recommend to read if you are planning a family!

    I this lady had a very hard time with her pregnancy and there after, but this book culd scare anyone into not having children. I have 3 kids and and never in my life have a heard or read a story as detailed as this one. We get it...you have anxitey. My advice, even you don't want it, don't have anymore kids. If you are this way with one, just imagine if you have two and they start fighting in public or don't get their way. Good Luck, but I would definitely not recommend this book to anyone thinking of having children because this would totall freak them out.

    1 out of 3 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted July 5, 2013

    Enlightning

    I bought this book because the title caught my eye, and because I wanted to do some reading regarding parenting.
    One thing you don't find often is a personal account of how complicated (both in a good and bad way) being pregnant is, since it's always depicted as an idyllic thing.
    This book definitely opened my eyes to the raw honesty and reality of post-partum depression, a taboo not many people want to talk about.
    "It Suck and Then I Cried" should be a must-read for any mother-to-be.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted February 14, 2013

    Not terrible but i wouldnt recommend it.....

    This story tells about a womans pregnancy and the shock of parenthood. Book had some funny parts but overall it was ok. To much negative tone on pregnancy.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted January 26, 2013

    loved it!

    great book! hilariously funny!

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  • Anonymous

    Posted March 4, 2012

    Funny

    Humorous, honest

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  • Anonymous

    Posted February 25, 2012

    Good

    I thouht this was a great book. The author is really funny,and you can easily see her point of view. One thing that was slightly confusing she didn't go very detailed into her depretion. Anyways i enjoyed it ;)

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  • Anonymous

    Posted January 17, 2012

    funny and good

    This story is pretty much a tell all about pregnancy and the shock of motherhood. It's comical and somewhat heartwarming. The only thing that i can say negatively is that there is alot of repitition (which i know was used to be funny) but it did kind of get annoying.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted January 3, 2012

    Hilarious read for a first time mom

    I loved that this book was so head on and funny.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted January 3, 2012

    Loved it!

    Great read!
    I love memoirs and this is one I could relate to and reccomend to other women.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted December 24, 2011

    from the reviews do'nt buy

    Dead book where is the grave!

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  • Anonymous

    Posted December 22, 2011

    Ive never had kids....but I lovednthis book.

    I am 25 and not married and no kids because Im super career oriented. After this book it changed my perspective and made me laugh. Parents are brave and I can only hope I get to be blessed enough to experience it...even through the tears and PPD cause I know I will endure it due to my situational depression/anxiety issues. ALL IN ALL: GREAT INSPIRING BOOK

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  • Anonymous

    Posted December 9, 2011

    I have yet to read this, but plan to.......

    I always read reviews before buying a book, and typically wait until I read a book before writing my review. Therefore, this is not an actual review, but my two cents on being a mother, and remembering my experiences with my 1st born, now 23 years old. He was colicky, my husband was out of state at the time on a job site so I only saw him on weekends, and though I didn't suffer PPD, I did experience the hormonal changes czusing "baby blues" said to be mild PPD. I was also having the changes from gestational diabetes, ehich was diet controlled, (I'm a nurse), so my hormones were all over. I will write a review when finished.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted November 28, 2011

    loved it

    Funny but very real

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  • Anonymous

    Posted November 22, 2011

    Hilarious!

    Haven't laughed this hard in a really long time.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
See All Sort by: Showing 1 – 20 of 265 Customer Reviews

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