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infamy (in’fe-mé) adv. and n. another person’s intent to exact physical punishment. “Ever since I stole his girlfriend, Bobby’s had it infamy.”
assassin (e-sas’-en) v. to disrespect verbally. “Don’t just stand there assassin me, boy–go clean your room!”
honor student (än’-er stu’-dent) prep. and n. to be positioned over, and supported by, a pupil. “Yeah, I knew piano lessons after midnight was weird, but I still didn’t suspect nothin’ till I caught her honor student.”
So open your ears and activate your funny bone with this hilarious, practical, and playfully illustrated reference. It’s like having your very own personal dialect coach–one who doesn’t mind getting picked up and read and laughed at and passed along to friends.
From the Hardcover edition.
ac·cus·tom (e-kes´-tem), n. and v. to have verbally abused more than one person with profanity. “Them kids kept swearin’ around Mamaw, so accustom out.”
ad·e·quate (a´-de-kwit), n. and v. to have acted with the intention of terminating one’s condition of employment. “Adequate if they hadn’t given me a raise.”
Af·ghan·i·stan (af-gan´-is-stan), n. and v. to declare that a certain living organism of Afghani origin has the name Stanley. “The Dalmatian’s called Jerry, but the Afghanistan.”
ban·dit (band´-et), v. and n. censured or forbidden, by decree. “We can’t dance no more, ’cause after the preacher saw Footloose, he bandit.”
bar·gain (bär´-gen), n. and adv. pertaining to a return to a tavern. “I’m still thirsty, so whaddya say we go hit that bargain.”
bas·tards (bas´-terds), n. the fecal excretions of any animal of the Centrarchidae, Serranidae, or Percichthyidae families. “I’ll bet you’ll catch a bunch where all them black specks is floatin’, ’cause them black specks is bastards.”
Cae·sar (se¯z´-er), v. and n. to visually perceive a female. “He has a seizure every time he Caesar.”
Can·a·da (kan´-e-de), n. and prep. a metal container with specific contents. “Do me a big favor, bud, and hand me a Canada bug spray.”
can·cel (kant´-sel), v. the inability to exchange property for money. “If you cancel that hunk of crap, I’ll take it off your hands.”
Da·ko·ta (de-ko¯´-te), n. and v. a prediction concerning an outer garment worn on the torso. “It’s ten below, man. Dakota keep you warm.”
da·ta (da¯t´-e), v. and adj. to undertake an event of social interaction, usually with the purpose of romance. “I’d never data rich girl.”
de·men·tia (dim-ent´-she), n. and v. interrogative concerning one’s reaction to, or connection with, more than one person. “You lookin’ at dementia?”
easy·go·ing (e¯-ze¯-go¯´-ing), v. and n. interrogative regarding the future movements or trajectory of a male. “Easygoing to relax or not?”
Egypt (e¯´-jipt), n. and v. to have been cheated or swindled by a male. “Aw, man, Egypt me!”
em·bit·ter (im-bi´-ter), n. and adj. when a male feels resentful, angry, vengeful, and soured. “His divorce just left embitter.”
fairy (fer´-e¯), adj. and n. a description for a male person of light complexion and pigmentation. “Jim’s so fairy gets sunburned as soon as he goes outside.”
feed (fe¯d´), conj. and n. the conditional desire for a male to act. “I’d kick his butt, feed just step outside.”
fil·i·greed (fil-e-gre¯d´), n. and v. consent and acceptance, by a person named Phillip. “I said we should kick him out of the club, and filigreed.”
gal·lon (gal´-en), n. and prep. a reference to the location of a female person. “The one with the jug is ugly, but that gallon the horse ain’t too bad.”
gar·den (gärd´-in), n. and adv. the bringing forth of a militia armed for the purposes of maintaining or restoring order. “That riot was so bad they had to call the National garden.”
Geor·gia (joÙrj´-e), n. and adj. a phrase connecting a person named George to a direct object. “Dick Cheney shot him, but I’m sure they’re gonna give old Georgia hard time about it.”
From the Hardcover edition.
Posted November 28, 2006
This is a pretty funny book. I love all of Foxworthy's material. If you like this kind of thing also try Brendan Lynch's 'Did You Ever Wonder...' I got into that after reading a few Foxworthy books. They're both hilarious.
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Posted November 26, 2006