Jeff Foxworthy's Redneck Dictionary III: Learning to Talk More Gooder Fastly

Jeff Foxworthy's Redneck Dictionary III: Learning to Talk More Gooder Fastly

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by Jeff Foxworthy, Layron DeJarnette
     
 

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Jeff Foxworthy clearly knows how to talk gooder redneck, especially after two runaway bestsellers on the subject. But for those folks who still need to get in touch with their inner redneck, here’s the third handy reference with even more indigenous idiomatic ingenuity. With Jeff as your guide, you’ll get all the finer points of speaking proper redneck.

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Overview

Jeff Foxworthy clearly knows how to talk gooder redneck, especially after two runaway bestsellers on the subject. But for those folks who still need to get in touch with their inner redneck, here’s the third handy reference with even more indigenous idiomatic ingenuity. With Jeff as your guide, you’ll get all the finer points of speaking proper redneck. Here’s your chance to pep up your parlance by learning how to use words and phrases like

an• ar• chist (an-ar-kist´), conj., n., and v. additionally, having pressed one’s lips to another’s as an expression of affection or sensual desire. “Anarchist her ma, anarchist her sister, anarchist her gramma, anarchist her other sister, anarchist her other other sister, and then her dad walked in and . . .”

i• Pod (í-päd), n. and v. a personal reference to having groped or roughly handled another person or an object. “IPod her for about twenty minutes before I realized she was my mother-in-law.”

uri• nal (yer-en-el), n. and v. a declaration concerning the current status or location of the person being spoken to. “If you think urinal lot of trouble now, just wait till Daddy gets home.”

No matter where you hail from, Jeff Foxworthy’s Redneck Dictionary III will make you sound like you were born far below the Mason-Dixon line. So shove aside that extra roll of single-ply to make space for this book in your family’s reading room, because three is definitely the charm.

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Product Details

ISBN-13:
9780345498496
Publisher:
Random House Publishing Group
Publication date:
10/28/2008
Edition description:
Reprint
Pages:
160
Sales rank:
1,257,938
Product dimensions:
4.10(w) x 6.80(h) x 0.70(d)

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Aa abil·i·ties (e-bil´-et-Σz), n. and pron. a statement of charges for services rendered and subsequent action to be taken by a specified male person. “I don’ care if he’ broke, Ma, the house payment’ abilities got to pay.”

ac·ne (ak´-nΣ), v. and n. concerning a male person’
behavior and the result of that behavior. “Once again we took him to a fancy restaurant, and he didn’ know how to acne made a fool of himself.”

ac·quire (e-kwΠer´), n. a group of singers, especially those who perform during religious ceremonies. “She sings so pretty, she should join acquire.”

ac·quit (e-kwit´), n. and v. a personal declaration of resignation from an assigned task. “You ain’ firin’me, ’uz acquit!”

ac·tiv·ist (akt´-ev-ist), v. and conj. to behave in a certain manner, particularly one based on another reality.
“She seduced me into signing that petition, and now she activist she don’ know me!”

ad·min·is·ter (at-mi´-ne-ster), adj. and n. a specific clergyman or agent of a government, as designated by the observer. “I tell ya, administer is a good man.”

af·ford (e-f≤d´), n. an automobile manufactured by the motor company that produced the Model T. “If
I had the money for a car, I’ want to buy afford.”

air·line (er´-lΠn), adv. and v. concerning the location and dishonesty of the person being addressed or discussed.
“Don’ sit airline about it, boy . . . tell the truth!”

al·i·bi (al´-e-bΠ), n. and v. the predicted future purchases by a male named Albert, Alfred, or Alvin. “He always invite Al, ’ause alibi drinks for everybody.”

anal (a¯n´-≤), v. and pron. being inferior to what one expects. “Enemas anal they’e cracked up to be.”

an·ar·chist (an-er-kist´), conj., n., and v. additionally,
having pressed one’ lips to another’ as an expression of affection or sensual desire. “Anarchist her ma, anarchist her sister, anarchist her gramma, anarchist
her other sister, anarchist her other other sister, and then her dad walked in and . . .”

an·noys (e-n≤z´), n. a loud or irritating sound.
“Hell, I wouldn’’e peed my pants if I hadn’ heard
annoys!”

ant·hill (en-til´), conj. up to a point in time. “I
won’ set foot in that room anthill he cleans it up!”

an·ti·pas·to (an´-tΣ-past-e), n. and v. to discharge from the body, as done by the female sibling of a parent of the speaker. “After eatin’all that salami last night, my antipasto kidney stone.”

ar·chery (ärch´-er-Σ), n. and conj. a male person’
ultimatum relating to a curved structure, usually one that serves as the roof or overhang of a passageway.
“He went off to St. Louis, sayin’he was dang sure he was goin’to see the archery weren’ coming back.”

ar·i·zo·na (er´-ez-o¯ n-e), n., v., and adv. phrase delimiting the quality of the gaseous atmosphere surrounding the earth. “I’d move to Denver, but with all the smog that Arizona slightly better than it is here in L.A.”

ar·kan·sas (ärk´-en-s≤, n. and v. a flat-bottomed boat in conjunction with an observer’ visual perception.
“Noah finished the Arkansas that it was good.”

ar·son (ar´-sen), adj. and n. pertaining to the male offspring of the speaker. “I know I swore arson didn’
set fire to your car, Sheriff, but I guess I misspoke.”

at·mo·sphere (et´-mes-fir), pron. and v. a conjecture about the feelings of anxiety of a certain being.
“The way that ol’Red tucks his tail, now, that’ a dog atmosphere
his owner.”

at·trac·tor (e-trak´-ter), n. a motor-propelled machine used mainly in agriculture. “My uncle cuts his grass with attractor.”

au·di (a≥-dΣ), n. a protrusion; usually used to describe the knotted flesh on the stomach of a human left after the severing of the umbilical cord. “Most people have an ‘nnie,’but Roy’ belly button is definitely an
Audi.”

au·ra (≤´-e), conj. and adj. a phrase indicating a choice between one thing and another. “You gettin’a
Quarter Pounder aura Big Mac?”

au·to·mate (≤-te-ma¯t), v. a suggestion for procreation.
“I know we just met tonight, baby, but I think we
automate.”

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