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Jeff Foxworthy's Redneck DictionaryWords You Thought You Knew the Meaning Of
By Jeff Foxworthy
VillardCopyright © 2005 Jeff Foxworthy
All right reserved.
Chapter OneAa afar (e-far´), n. an object in the state of combustion. "There's no sense bein' this cold-let's build afar."
Alas*ka (el-ask´-e), n. and v. to resolve to make an inquiry. "If I wanna know where to find a polar bear, Alaska guy who lives here."
al*lowed (e-lau?d´), adj. distinguished by an intense elevation of volume. "Did you just hear allowed noise?"
an*nu*ity (e-nu´-et-e¯), n. and v. having forethought or intuition. "I couldn't hear him, but annuity was sayin'."
ap*par*ent (e-per´-ent), n. one who sires or gives birth to offspring. "It's obvious to me from lookin' at yer belly that yer gonna be apparent."
Ar*ma*ged*don (arm-e-ge´-din), n. and v. putting oneself in a position for action. "I tell ya, if it gets any crazier, Armageddon outta here."
ar*ma*ture (ar´-me-chu?r), v. and adj. displaying exceptional wisdom, experience, and/or age. "I know sometimes I acts like a kid but I really armature."
as*i*nine (as´-e-n?¯n), n. favorable praise of the hind end, to the positive ninth integer. "Man, I would give her face a two and her asinine."
as*par*a*gus (e-sper´-e-ges), n. ambivalence about having to install a replacement for an air-filled rubber wheel. "I got a flat, so I'm gonna have to put on asparagus."
as*pect (as´-pekt), n. and v. having one's backside assaulted by a sharp object. "He got done skinny-dippin', passed out on that deck chair, and had his aspect by a woodpecker."
asth*ma (az´-me), v. to make an inquiry to a person of familiar acquaintance. "I don't know if I can go or not. Lemme asthma wife."
at*om (at´-em), prep. and n. in the direction of something or someone. "Two deer jumped outta the woods and we just started shootin' atom."
at*tacks (e-taks´), n. a percentage of one's assets taken annually by a governing body. "If you let 'em, I swear the government would put attacks on the air."
av*e*nue (av´-e-nu), n. and v. to declare possession of something recently acquired. "Avenue address, but I don't remember it."
Bb ban*ner (ban´-er), v. and n. to prohibit a female person from a specific location. "Cody's grandma cusses so much, they're gonna banner from the Little League park."
bar*ri*er (ber´-e¯-er), v. and n. to conceal or cover a female, usually under earth or debris. "She died while on vacation, so I think they decided to barrier on the beach."
bay*ou (b?¯´-u), v. and n. to purchase for another. "I just walked right up to her and said, 'Hey darlin', lemme bayou a drink.'"
beer (bir´), v. to express one's desire to or remain at a specific location, usually during intoxication. "I'll beer till ten, then I gotta get home."
bee*tle (be¯´-til), v. and conj. to exist for an unspecified amount of time. "How long do you think it's gonna beetle they figure out we're gone?"
be*lieve (be¯-le¯v´), n. and v. a demand for the Bombus ruderatus to vacate the immediate vicinity. "Oh no! I'm allergic! Believe me alone!"
be*moan (be¯-mo¯n´), v. and adj. to declare possession by oneself. "I don't like takin' orders. That's why I gotta bemoan boss."
big*ots (big´-ets), adj. used to describe a large object in motion or action. "Man, Al's belly is so bigots draggin' on the floor."
bit*ter (bit´-er), v. and n. involving the closing of jaws, as done on a female. "She kept teasin' that dog till he finally bitter."
bob*ble (bab´-el), n. and v. the confident prediction for future action, to be effected by a person named Robert. "Don't worry, Marge. Bobble get us out of here."
bob*sled (babs´-led), n. and v. the act of guidance by a person named Robert. "I ain't no expert, but I think bobsled us down the wrong path."
bom*bar*dier (bamb´-e-dir), v. and n. to attack an Odocoileus virginianus with an explosive device. "When I'm huntin' I usually use my rifle, but sometimes I just take out dynamite and bombardier."
bro*ker (bro¯k´-er), v. and adj. to have violently injured any thing or things belonging to a female. "My mom fell off a ladder and broker arm."
bud*get (bej´-et), v. and n. to transfer an object from one location to another. "Papaw was workin' on my car and it fell on his foot. I tried to pull it off, but I couldn't budget!"
bur*den (berd´-in), n. and prep. indicating the specific location of a flying creature. "A burden the hand is worth two in the bush."
but*ter*fly (bet-er-fl?¯´), conj. and n. an exception concerning the opening in pants worn by a female. "I didn't mean to embarrass her, butterfly was open!"
Cc cab*i*net (kab´-en-it), n. used in reference to an event taking place within a vehicle employed for ferrying passengers. "When we were in New York, we got in a cabinet stunk!"
Cal*cut*ta (kal-ket´-e), n. and v. (usu. vulgar) the release of intestinal gas by a person named Calvin. "Well, far as I can tell, Calcutta fart and then somebody struck a match."
can*dy (kand´-e¯), v. and n. negative verb for a male unable to act. "Why candy just ask you one simple question?"
can*o*py (kan-e-pe¯´), n. a metal vessel used for the containment of urine. "The dude never stops for bathroom breaks. That's why there's a canopy in his truck."
can*ta*loupe (kant´-e-lo¯p), v. the expressed inability to marry in secret. "My daddy wants a traditional marriage, honey, so I cantaloupe."
can*ti*le*ver (kant´-e-le¯v-er), v. and n. to inquire about the possibilities for ending a relationship. "The preacher said till death do us part, but cantilever if she fools around on me?"
cap*i*tal (kap´-et-il), n. and v. regarding an action concerning the future of any covering used to close off a receptacle. "Careful with that bottle-if you don't put on that capital spill."
car*go (kar´-go¯), n. and v. an automobile moving on a certain course, usually forward. "Can't you make this cargo any faster?"
cash*ier (kash´-ir), n. any medium for fiscal exchange, in a specific place. "I tried to pay by check, but the lady behind the register told me they only take cashier."
ca*si*no (kes-e¯´-no¯), conj. and v. a phrase concerning a gentleman with particular knowledge. "When I go to Vegas, I go with my buddy Roy, casino more about gamblin' than I do."
cas*trate (kast´-ra¯t), n. a hardened plaster mold used for immobilizing a broken limb so that the bone will not heal crookedly. "They're gonna have to rebreak my arm 'cause they said the doctor didn't get the castrate the first time."
cat*e*go*ry (kat´-e-go?r-e¯), n. and adj. a domesticated feline bleeding profusely from excessive trauma. "That guy hit Fluffy goin' fifty miles an hour and left that category mess."
cen*sure (sent´-sher), conj. and v. pertaining to an ongoing condition of the person addressed. "I'll have another drink, censure payin'."
chap*ter (chapt´-er), v. and adj. to have received epidermal roughening. "That wind chapter lips up pretty good."
chauf*feur (sho¯´-fer), n. and prep. a reference to a performance. "There's nekkid girls inside, boys, and I can get you into the chauffeur just two dollars!"
clas*si*fied (klas´-ef-?¯d), n. and conj. pertaining to regret over a course at school. "I'd have gone to classified been smarter."
cof*fee (ko?f´-e¯), v. and n. to explosively expel air from the lungs, as performed by a male. "My granddad's got a cold, and every time he tries to coffee wets his pants."
col*umn (kal´-em), v. and n. an imperative regarding electronic communication with a specific male. "Daddy likes you best, dude, so you column."
co*ma (ko¯m´-e), v. to groom hair using a multitoothed tool. "When you're a barber you have to coma lot of ugly heads."
con*dom (kand´-em), v. and n. having purposefully swindled a gullible male for personal gain. "She condom into thinkin' she was on the pill."
con*vey*or (ken-va´-er), v. and adj. to transmit a nonpresent female's communications. "My wife couldn't be here, but she wanted me to conveyor sympathies."
cous*in (kez´-en), conj. for a reason, specifically relating to a particular place. "You can't sleep with your relatives, cousin the big city that's a crime."
cus*tom (kest´-em), v. and n. to have voiced vulgar language at a person or persons. "When them Jehovah's Witnesses came to our house, granddaddy done custom out."
cut*ter (ket´-er), v. and adj. to use a sharp instrument to separate one thing from another, as performed by a female. "If Sheila don't cutter toenails soon, I'm filin' for a divorce."
Dd de*bate (de-ba¯t´), n. anything used to entice prey. "I don't wanna argue no more 'bout which worm we're gonna use for debate."
de*fense (di-fents´), n. a barrier bisecting a piece of land. "I told him to drive through da gate and the damn dummy drove through defense."
def*i*nite (def´-en-it), adj. and n. of or pertaining to a person who is hearing impaired. "My grandma's real definite affects the odds on her life expectancy."
de*lights (di-l?¯ts´), n. electrical devices used for illumination. "Hey, stupid, turn out delights."
de*mo*graph*ic (dem-e-gra´-fik), n. and adj. referring to visually explicit material. "Demographic photos in that dirty magazine."
den*i*grate (den´-i-gra¯t), adv. and adj. a reference to the ensuing occurrence of something large and/or wondrous. "First my stomach hurt, and denigrate wind came outta my rear end, and now I feel a whole lot better."
den*tal (dent´-el), n. and v. to do with the result of a crease or a depression in all types of metal plating. "Well, the good news is that little dental come out real easy."
de*scent (di-sent´), n. an olfactory emission. "The dogs lost descent right about here."
de*tail (di-ta¯l´), n. an appendage extending from the buttocks, usually covered with hair. "Best way to catch a skunk is just to grab him by detail."
de*void (di-vo?id´), n. an absence of matter. "Devoid that woman left in my heart is as big as a truck."
di*et (d?¯´-et), v. and n. to change the hue of something. "You know what you oughta do with your hair, Barb, is diet red."
di*gest (d?¯´-jest), v. and adv. to expire, especially recently. "I don't know why Daddy had to digest three days after Mama."
di*men*sion (de-men´-shen), n. an instance of casually calling attention to something. "Just dimension of pork and beans makes me gassy."
di*rec*tion (de-rek´-shen), n. the engorgement of the male sex organ. "Doc, could you give my Hank here a sample of those little blue pills? Direction ain't what it used to be."
dis*co (dis´-ko¯), n. and v. referring to the intended or proper location of a specific thing; usually used with an inquiry. Query in operating room: "I put everything else back ... but now, where's disco?"
dis*gust*ed (di-skest´-id), v. and n. to have verbally considered or examined a specific subject. "Billy, your mother and I have disgusted, and we both think you're on steroids."
dis*may (dis-ma¯´), n. and v. something raised as a possibility. "Dismay come as a surprise, ma'am, but you're not pregnant."
dis*tress (dis-tres´), n. a skirted garment, especially of a full-figured person. "Does distress make my butt look fat?"
di*verse (de-vers´), n. a lyrical, nonrepeating stanza within a song. "I've got the chorus, but diverse is still givin' me trouble."
doc*tor (dakt´-er), v. and adj. to have applied to a female employee a punitive measure in which a percentage of her wages are garnisheed. "After my wife wrecked that forklift, they doctor pay for the next six months."
do*main (do¯-ma¯n´), v. to lack importance. "Don't let it bug you, man. It domain a thing."
dou*bloon (de-bloon´), n. any single object having a hue in the color spectrum between green and violet. "You can wear the brown hat or the green hat, but don't touch doubloon."
drag*on (dra´-gen), v. being brought into, usually by force. "Don't be dragon me into your argument."
Ee ear (ir´), v. to receive and cognitively process sound. "Huh? I couldn't ear a single word you said."
elix*ir (i-liks´-er), n. and v. the act, by a male mammal, of lapping any specific female with his tongue. "My dog wakes my daughter up every mornin'. He jumps on the bed and elixir face."
em*bark (im-bark´), n. and v. referring to the production of the short, sharp cry characteristic of the male of the species Canis familiaris. "That dog's so well behaved you can't make embark."
em*i*grate (em-e-gra¯t´), n. and adj. an egotistical inquiry. "I nailed us some pretty good seats here, dude. Emigrate or what?"
emo*tions (i-mo¯´-shens), n. and v. to indicate something with gestures, as performed by a male. "Every time he makes a big play, emotions to the crowd to make more noise."
en*close (in-klo¯z´), n. attired in garments. "She looks good enclose, but she looks better out of them."
en*coun*ter (in-kau?n´-ter), v. to respond to one offer with another. "Find out what he's askin' for it encounter with a lower offer."
en*e*ma (en´-e-me), n. and v. declaring one's state of being or whereabouts. "Dang it all! My car broke down, enema good ten miles from a gas station."
en*roll (in-ro¯l´), conj. and v. to move by revolving or turning over repeatedly. "I told you, Lloyd, if you catch on fire you're supposed to stop, drop, enroll."
eras*es (i-ra¯´-sez), n. and v. competing in a contest involving speed, especially by any person named Dale Jr. "Dale Jr. is the man. Erases anybody, anywhere."
es*ca*la*tor (esk´-e-la¯-ter), v. to make a planned or scheduled inquiry. "I got a question, but I'm kinda busy right now, so could I escalator?"
es*cape (is-ka¯p´), adj. and n. a long, hanging garment worn on a man's back. "I wouldn't have known he was a superhero, but escape gave him away."
Eu*phra*tes (yu?-fra¯´-te¯z), n. and adj. to be in fear of bodily harm from a male. "What's the matter, Timmy? Euphrates gonna hit ya?"
ex*pend (eks-spend´), n. and v. one's former spouse on a buying spree. "Dang! You should see my expend money."
eye*lash (?¯-lash´), n. and v. acting with aggression toward another. "I feel bad when eyelash out at my wife."
Ff fe*ces (fe¯´-se¯z), conj. and v. a conditional expression involving concern about being witnessed or discovered, often involving an illicit activity. "Feces us together, the you-know-what is gonna hit the fan."
fe*tus (fe¯´-tes), v. and n. to provide for group mastication. "I wonder what they're gonna fetus for lunch."
feud (fyud´), conj. and v. involving any supposition concerning the action of another person. "I woulda never shot at you, feud never shot at me."
fid*dle (fid´-el), conj. and v. regarding speculation on the result of an action about to be undertaken. "I wonder fiddle get me all the way to the moon?"
fire (fi´-er), conj. and v. an empathetic supposition involving placing oneself in another's position. "Fire you, I'd look for a new place to live."
fis*sion (fi´-shin), n. the act of capturing cold-blooded, aquatic craniate vertebrates. "Ever since they put up that nuclear power plant, the fission been terrible."
fit*ness (fit´-nes), v. and n. to be able to wear a snug garment. "And you didn't think I could fitness bathin' suit after three kids!"
fix*ture (fiks´-cher), v. to have repaired the property of another. "It seems like you would be nicer to me since I just fixture car."
fluo*res*cent (flu?r-es´-sint), n. and v. a negative declaration about the lowermost horizontal surface of a structure. "You'd better mop it again, son. That fluorescent clean yet."
Excerpted from Jeff Foxworthy's Redneck Dictionary by Jeff Foxworthy Copyright © 2005 by Jeff Foxworthy. Excerpted by permission.
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