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Overview
Product Details
| ISBN-13: | 9781452556765 |
|---|---|
| Publisher: | Balboa Press |
| Publication date: | 10/03/2012 |
| Pages: | 482 |
| Product dimensions: | 6.00(w) x 9.00(h) x 1.07(d) |
Read an Excerpt
Jonathan Behind Blue Eyes
By Mike Dacy
Balboa Press
Copyright © 2012 Mike DacyAll right reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-4525-5676-5
Chapter One
Gifts
Gifts We Give
Each of us enters the world with gifts to offer to others. As an infant, we give to our parents the gift of unconditional love and bless them with a sense of joy they never previously experienced. From the "terrible twos" through our teenage years we present them with ample opportunities to learn tolerance and patience.
They return gift s to us. They teach us to be honest, and with that honesty, the gift of trust. They show us how to be generous, and that it is better to give than to receive. They demonstrate and teach us the art of gentleness as our younger siblings come into the world. They point out how the young ones are defenseless, and how they depend on us to provide, care, and love them.
Our parents give to us a belief system. Whether it's organized religion, atheism, or something in between, they remind us to be faithful to those beliefs.
We remember those lessons, or gifts, that we received as we grow and attempt to be generous and honest to others. Our parents, in the meantime, continue to learn tolerance and patience as we present them with the scenarios of our life's chronicles that can exceed the limits of their trust.
Finally, as we reach adulthood, we are able to present to each other the gift of open-mindedness. Through our life experiences we've developed beliefs that don't necessarily agree with our parents. We may debate, argue, or completely disagree. Despite the assortment of viewpoints, as long as the original gift of unconditional love is remembered and received, all differences can be resolved.
Perception of Gifts
Gifts are received in many forms and are always being presented to us. They can be easy to receive or hard to comprehend.
The easiest gifts to perceive are those we receive as we sit under the Christmas tree or celebrate our birthdays. These material items are easily recognizable and are generally "things" we want, or are given to us with a loving thought about us behind it.
We treat ourselves to material gifts as well. We complete a home improvement project and take our spouse out for a special dinner. Many of us work 45-50 weeks a year and during those weeks off from work, we give ourselves the gift of vacation. Whether it's just sitting around the house and vegetating, driving to the mountains, or taking a trip to Europe; we have earned these gifts.
Then there is the gift not of the material world, but the gifts received by our minds. These gifts may not be easy to identify, and, in fact, we may not acknowledge these as gifts at all. The simple reality of our being is a gift to others, as their being is a gift to us. As we go through our day, we are aware of the gestures people make, their facial expressions, the things they say or do. We read the newspaper and watch television. Anything we witness throughout the day can stir an emotion in us; from extreme hate to unconditional love and every feeling in between.
This is the most beneficial gift we can receive. It is how we learn to develop those virtues that we hold dear to our hearts. As we construe the gifts that we exchange with each other throughout the day as positive or negative, one thing is certain.
The gift of love, whether received or given, is the gift that offers the most joy to us; the joy of inner peace.
Gifts from Jonathan
Like all of us, Jonathan presents his gifts in many forms. The first of these are the thoughts that came from his mind that he wrote onto paper. His lessons to us consist of many quotations; the first two in the opening of the book as well as the last line in the conclusion. The chapter Behind Blue Eyes: His Truest Essence, centers on his notes. Any quotes you read within this book, unless otherwise noted, are from Jonathan's hand. Renowned philosophers, psychologists, and spiritual leaders are quoted. There are quotes from the Bible, poets and other writers who had an impact on his thoughts and belief system. Also, Jonathan's personal work is cited. He spent the spiritual portion of the last six years of his life studying, reading, and writing with the purpose of finding his way to God. He was meticulous at copying quotes, making sure they were "quoted" and then identifying the author of those quotes. If something is misquoted in this book, I apologize.
He didn't limit himself to one belief system. He loved the Bible and the contemporary teachings of Joel Osteen. He had almost all of Wayne Dyer's books and CDs, and would listen to his CDs while driving. He was intrigued by Taoism and its focus on the mind rather than the outside world. He enjoyed discussing A Course In Miracles principles with me.
He had a meditation shrine set up in his bedroom in my home, and another set up in his home with his wife, Tiffany. Each one focused on self-improvement, loving statements, and quotes from various religions and belief systems. There were also pictures of his loved ones, and positive affirmations placed to remind him as to what he was trying to achieve and what was ultimately important.
One of his favorite affirmations that he kept on the forefront of his meditation and prayer shrines was this verse.
The light of God surrounds me
The love of God enfolds me
The power of God protects me
The presence of God watches over me
Wherever I am, God is.
Jonathan loved to give gifts, and he cherished any gift from the heart which he received. Sweaters, pants, and the like were usually returned. Books, pictures, or anything created from someone's hand or heart were cherished. I have gone through what he retained in storage and he had every picture his son, Remy, has drawn for him; love letters and cards from years gone by; and other things that came from the heart.
The book is an honest look at Jonathan's life, and like most of us, his life had its ups and downs. He was addicted to narcotic medicines that were meant to help him through life. He was prescribed blood pressure meds, anti-depressants, anti-anxiety meds, and pain killers. His emotions would peak and valley; on many occasions things were either "great" or quite to the contrary, "it was the worst day of my life." He had his "skeletons" hiding in his closet. At times he had trouble controlling his anger.
On the other hand, Jonathan was one of the kindest, most loving persons you could know. He had a wonderful sense of humor. His love for his son, wife, friends and family saw the wonderful man he, at his purest essence, was.
You may wonder how a book could be written capturing so many of the details that made up his life. Jonathan kept journals. He started journaling when he was 10, documenting the daily activities of his Spy Club. He continued writing chronologically about his life until he was 23 with periods of time, sometimes up to a year, missing. After that, the tone of his writing changed. Not only did he write about his life, he wrote some beautiful poetry, positive affirmations, and lessons to live by. He made extensive to-do lists identifying short term tasks and long term goals. He listed the steps he needed to take in order to become educated or certified so that he might help others.
From the time Jonathan was 6 until his passing at the age of 29, he wanted to serve his fellow man. Until he was in his late teens his service goal was to honor and protect his country in the military. He had lofty goals of becoming a member of an elite force; and he trained and played war games as often as he could get his friends to participate. He had a library of books about Viet Nam, World War II, and general military strategic and tactical maneuvers. His aptitude for military operations was outstanding. He was quick to think on his feet, and in speaking with his friends, he was always the leader and the one with the ideas. Over the years he collected an arsenal of weapons and obtained official military gear. He spent countless hours in military surplus stores adding to his collection. He also received many gifts from his Grandpa Spurling, a retired Sergeant Major in the Calvary; not to mention that for the rest of us the Holiday Season was easy as he would provide a list of the supplies he "needed", and Santa would do the rest. He enjoyed the outdoors, loved to camp, go repelling, and play paintball. He was proud to be an American and he was preparing for a life in the military.
Something changed along the way. In his early teens he began suffering severe migraines and was diagnosed with Adolescent Migraine Disease. We were told not to worry as these would subside and eventually pass as he got older. In the meantime, we filled the prescriptions and experimented with different medicines to help ease his throbbing headaches. Most medicines didn't seem to help as much as he liked until he came across Oxycontin at the age of 18. It was also during this time that we visited a doctor who informed us that the cause of the headaches could be due to a deformity in his ear. Surgery was required and any hopes of being in the military were shattered as they couldn't accept him with this defect.
Despite having the surgery to correct the defect, the pain continued. He continued to seek medicines to relieve the pain and feel normal. He shelved his plans for the military and dropped out of high school. For the next 10 years he continued to provide service in the restaurant industry. He took great pride in his work, was promoted regularly into management positions, and focused on servicing the customer as well as his employer, always looking for ways to improve restaurant operations. He managed restaurant kitchens and took great pride in his work and the food he served. He also had responsibility in a few positions for front end management, and took that same pride in making sure the customer was served. Inevitably, what had become an addiction to prescription medicines got in the way, and he would lose a job. This happened for a number of reasons. He might lose his temper with his boss and get fired. He might blame others for the lousy work conditions and walk out. On a couple of occasions he was caught stealing (or borrowing as he would justify it to me) and get fired. Other times he might not show up for days and this resulted in his termination.
In 2004, during his stay at his 5th rehab clinic, he was introduced to a new method of treatment. Rather than the typical 12 step programs, and hanging out and waiting to go to, as he referred to them, "bull shit meetings," the approach was holistic in nature. Meditation, yoga, prayer, New Age thinking, were some of the daily routine, as well as accountability for the chores he was assigned. The pastors also performed a numerology test and a past life regression was conducted. Although this approach didn't solve his future problems, it opened his eyes to a new world of thinking. He began applying some of the ideas presented to him and dug deeper into alternative ways of thinking and perceiving. His journaling began to change. Rather than solely write about his life in chronological order, he began documenting his thoughts and ideas that might better serve himself or humankind.
One night in February 2010 after he finished working, Jonathan came into my workshop to discuss things. On this night he told me, "Dad, I want to get rid of all my addiction problems so that I can help people. I have so much I can teach them by sharing my life story and offering advice. I want to be a counselor or a teacher, and show them where I screwed up so that others don't make the same mistakes I did. I want to change the way society looks at people with addiction problems."
It's important to recognize that there was one constant goal in Jonathan's life: he wanted to serve and help others. The method he used to provide this service changed throughout the years, but nonetheless this thought was deep inside him. After he realized he wouldn't be able to serve in the military, he changed his focus to the hospitality industry. During the last couple of years of his life, he spoke with many fire departments to receive the guidance he needed to serve as a fireman. He also visited funeral homes in the area to see if he could assist with grieving families. Finally, as he shared with me on that February evening, his goal was to help people with addiction problems and change the way these people were perceived by mainstream society.
The final gift Jonathan brings to us comes in sharing moments of his life story even though he isn't here to present these in person.
Perhaps you are having addiction problems of your own. There may be a situation described in this book that will help you down your chosen path. A situation he was in and how he responded may remind you of something you have done in the past or may face in the future. He wanted to share the results of his decisions.
Maybe you know a loved one or family member who is experiencing addiction issues. There may be a scenario described that will help you decide how to pursue help for your loved one. Certainly our family was confronted with many situations regarding Jonathan, particularly during his last eight months. Decisions we made or didn't make affected how this period of time played out. Whether it is to follow our experiences or doing the complete opposite, it doesn't matter. If it ultimately brings more peace and resolution to your situation, then his gift has been received.
After reading this book, you might find something in your heart that gives you a better understanding of the nature of the disease. You may find that you show a little more compassion, patience, or understanding to a person struggling with addiction; less quickly to judge and more apt to reach out and support that person.
This is by no means a "how to" book. The end result is that Jonathan passed away, and obviously nobody wanted that. It will reveal his family's feelings, experiences, fears, anger, frustrations; yet more importantly the faith, hope, and love that we all shared. If you recognize something in Jonathan's story that will help, directly or indirectly, and bring inner peace into your life, then he will accomplish what he wanted to do with his life.
Some people may find this book disturbing. As Jonathan followed his life's journey he wasn't proud of everything he did. In trying to help in any way we could his family would intervene at times using both conventional and unconventional methods. He'd been exorcised a couple of times, he had a past life regression conducted, he was institutionalized in conventional 12 steps curriculum as well as holistic programs. To help with finding him after he had disappeared, we enlisted the help of a renowned psychic, who happened to provide valuable guidance for us.
Medicines are available to help with the sicknesses from which many of us suffer. New and improved medicines are presented regularly to better remedy these ailments. Yet each one has a list of side effects, some of them worsening the condition they were originally intended to help. Don't misunderstand me. Many of my loved ones are helped and are still alive because of these medicines. If we didn't have them, we might still be using leeches to suck the poisons out of our bodies. The point is that some of these medicines are addictive and can be very dangerous.
Perhaps Jonathan's life was served to provide the gift of "awareness."
Perhaps his greatest gift to all of us was to create enough cause and eff ect situations that put us in a mindset: "What do I do?" "How do I respond?" "How can I prevent?"
And maybe the answer lies in his favorite verse from the Bible. "And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love." I Corinthians 13:13
Or as Jonathan wrote on September 19, 2007:
"Where there is life, there should also be love."
Chapter Two
The Alpha and Omega
The Birth of Jonathan and His Siblings
Jonathan's big brother, Michael, was born at 6:54 PM on January 14, 1977. He came into this world a healthy, 8 pound 2 ½ ounce baby boy. I've heard that baby's eyes are always blue when they are born. Michael's eyes were brownish-black and we knew he would be one of a kind. As it turned out, he is and he is loved and admired by the many people who know him.
Kristin, Jonathan's little sister, was born at 7:00 PM on November 2, 1983. Her little 7 pound 4 ½ ounce body entered the world with very serious health conditions. Despite the life threatening operations she has faced, her sunny outlook on life is an inspiration to others as she gives love and shows compassion to everyone she meets. As Jonathan always described her, she truly is an angel.
As Terri prepared to give birth to our middle child, we hadn't come up with a first name. His middle name would be Dalmond; named after her little brother who had passed away at the age of 3 from leukemia, and her paternal grandfather. But we were having trouble deciding on a first name. As Terri entered the last trimester of her pregnancy, she spent much of her time reading. She recalled reading Jonathan Livingston Seagull while she was in high school and remembered how much she enjoyed this book. She bought a new copy and read it just before going into labor. She found that she loved the spirit and the unique character that God created the seagull to be. She felt in her heart that this baby would be mirrored in that spirituality and uniqueness. He would be one of a kind, just as Jonathan Livingston Seagull was!!
(Continues...)
Excerpted from Jonathan Behind Blue Eyes by Mike Dacy Copyright © 2012 by Mike Dacy. Excerpted by permission of Balboa Press. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.
Table of Contents
Contents
About the Author(s)....................1Gifts....................7
The Alpha and Omega....................15
The Early Years....................23
The Move to Paulding County....................43
Adulthood....................57
Introduction....................63
The Dark Side....................67
His Truest Essence....................103
Chris....................103
Remy....................108
Jonathan and Tiffany: A Love Story....................115
The Teachings of Jonathan....................132
Introduction....................151
September....................157
October....................177
November to Early December....................199
December to The Facility....................215
The Facility....................239
Post Rehab....................277
February....................295
March....................313
April....................347
The Search....................373
You Are At Peace....................399
The Funeral....................401
Healing....................409
Facts, Thoughts and Thanks....................433
A Mother's Everlasting Love and Inspirations....................445
References....................465