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GreenIt's cute and clever.
A message from Scott Adams:
I think the next wave of office design will focus on eliminating the only remaining obstacle to office productivity: your happiness. Happiness isn't a physical thing, like walls and doors. But it's closely related. Managers know that if they can eliminate all traces of happiness, the employees won't be so picky about their physical surroundings. Once you're hopelessly unhappy, you won't bother to complain if your ...
A message from Scott Adams:
I think the next wave of office design will focus on eliminating the only remaining obstacle to office productivity: your happiness. Happiness isn't a physical thing, like walls and doors. But it's closely related. Managers know that if they can eliminate all traces of happiness, the employees won't be so picky about their physical surroundings. Once you're hopelessly unhappy, you won't bother to complain if your boss rolls you up in a tight ball and crams you into a cardboard box.
As soon as I noticed this disturbing threat to workplace happiness, I did some investigative work and discovered it wasn't confined to the issue of office design. Companies were making a direct frontal assault on employee happiness in every possible way! I knew there was only one thing that could stop the horror.
It was time for another Dilbert book
It might sound corny, but I felt an oblitgation to society. People told me it was time for me to "give something back to the community." This scared me, until I realized that no one knows I furnished my house with street signs and park benches. So I interpreted the"give something back to the community" message as a plea for me to write this book and then charge the community to read it.
In the first part of this book I will tell you how to find happiness at the expense of you co-workers, managers, customers, and -- best of all -- those lazy stockholders. The second part of the book teaches you my top-secret methods for mining humor out of ordinary situations, thus making it easier to mock the people around you. The third part of the book is made entirely of invisible pages. If the book seems heavier than it looks. that's why.
This humorous corporate survival guide details the joys of work, reverse telecommuting, boss managing strategies and office pranks. It also discusses meeting survival, co-worker management and criticism handling. Complete with Dilbert cartoons, examples and anecdotes, this guide is a surefire way to brighten up a dreary day.
|Important Note About This Book|
|1||The Joy of Work||1|
|2||Managing Your Boss||13|
|4||Laughter at the Expense of Others||59|
|7||Managing Your Co-Workers||147|
|8||Bringing Humor and Creativity to your Job||157|
|10||The Downside of Success||261|
Barnes & Noble.com: To steal a question from my college scholarship exam: If you had to choose between spending a year in complete isolation on either a space ship or a desert island, which would you choose and why?
Scott Adams: That would depend on the space ship. If it were the starship Enterprise with its own holodeck and replicators, I'd pick that one. And if Jeri Ryan or any other cute borgs were on board, that would be a bonus. Desert islands rarely have cute borgs.
bn.com: Have you ever belonged to a fan club? Which one, and how old were you when you belonged to the club?
SA: I joined the Felix the Cat fan club when I was about eight. I got a fan club membership card and all the bragging rights associated with membership. Now anytime I get pulled over for speeding, I just flash my membership card. So far, none of the highway patrolmen have been members of the Felix the Cat club, so it hasn't helped me yet. But I'm hopeful.
bn.com: Your life is spent making people laugh. What TV show/book/movie/web site/random incident most recently made you laugh?
SA: It was a Garth Brooks interview on a naughty-but-funny web site, itaintcool.itgo.com.
bn.com: I heard Tom Peters speak a few months ago, and he was saying that he wrote his new Reinventing Work books because he got tired of your books outselling his. What do you think about his message about being optimistic and super-enthusiastic when it comes to work? Does work really matter to people in 1999, or is it just the same old Dilbertian absurdity disguised with trendy buzzwords?
SA: I'm all for optimism. I still believe a ship from the mother planet will pick me up and take me to a better world any minute now. But optimism about "work" is different from optimism about your specific job. The economy is good, so if your job sucks, get a better one. (Apologies to Tom if I just summarized his latest book in two sentences.)
bn.com: What's the worst gift that you ever received from a boss, coworker, or business colleague?
SA: It was a huge package of steaks by mail. I'm a vegetarian.
bn.com: Peter Drucker is turning 90 this month. Care to send him a Happy Birthday message?
SA: Happy birthday, Peter. I plan to live to 140, so you're just a kid.
bn.com: I know you've had plenty of horrible corporate jobs. Were there any jobs, other than your current work, that you really loved?
SA: During my high school and college years I worked at the Sugar Maples resort in Maplecrest, New York, in the Catskills. It was very much like the movie "Dirty Dancing," but without the dancing. I held every job from dishwasher to cook to busboy to desk clerk to bellhop to security guard. The work was mindless, and I was surrounded by nice people, who were hell-bent on having fun. Now that's a job.