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Just Show Up: The Dance of Walking through Suffering Together
     

Just Show Up: The Dance of Walking through Suffering Together

4.9 17
by Kara Tippetts, Jill Lynn Buteyn
 

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Kara Tippetts’s story was not a story of disease, although she lost her battle with terminal cancer. It was not a story of saying goodbye, although she was intentional in her time with her husband and four children. Kara’s story was one of seeing God in the hard and in the good. It was one of finding grace in the everyday. And it was one of knowing

Overview


Kara Tippetts’s story was not a story of disease, although she lost her battle with terminal cancer. It was not a story of saying goodbye, although she was intentional in her time with her husband and four children. Kara’s story was one of seeing God in the hard and in the good. It was one of finding grace in the everyday. And it was one of knowing “God with us” through fierce and beautiful friendship.

In Just Show Up, Kara and her close friend, Jill Lynn Buteyn, write about what friendship looks like in the midst of changing life seasons, loads of laundry, and even cancer. Whether you are eager to be present to someone going through a difficult time or simply want inspiration for pursuing friends in a new way, this eloquent and practical book explores the gift of silence, the art of receiving, and what it means to just show up.

Editorial Reviews

Ann Voskamp

“Kara Tippetts changed my life and thousands of others’ lives because she was a rare, singular voice who, when facing the end of her life here, had street cred to speak about what really matters. Open these rich, radical pages and give yourself the gift of friendship like you’ve always wanted and community like you’ve only hoped for—before it’s too late to just show up.”
Ann Voskamp, New York Times bestselling author of One Thousand Gifts
From the Publisher

“Kara Tippetts changed my life and thousands of others’ lives because she was a rare, singular voice who, when facing the end of her life here, had street cred to speak about what really matters. Open these rich, radical pages and give yourself the gift of friendship like you’ve always wanted and community like you’ve only hoped for—before it’s too late to just show up.”
Ann Voskamp, New York Times bestselling author of One Thousand Gifts(Ann Voskamp)

Product Details

ISBN-13:
9781434709530
Publisher:
David C Cook
Publication date:
10/01/2015
Pages:
192
Sales rank:
296,442
Product dimensions:
5.50(w) x 8.20(h) x 0.60(d)

Meet the Author


The late Kara Tippetts was the author of The Hardest Peace and blogged faithfully at mundanefaithfulness.com. Cancer was only a part of Kara’s story. Her real fight was to truly live while facing a crushing reality. Since her death in March 2015, her husband, Jason, is parenting their four children and leading the church they founded in Colorado Springs, Colorado.

Jill Lynn Buteyn is the author of Falling for Texas, an inspirational novel, and a recipient of the ACFW Genesis Award for her fiction work. She has a bachelor’s degree in communications from Bethel University. Jill lives near the beautiful Rocky Mountains with her husband and two children. Connect with her on social media and at Jill-Lynn.com.

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Just Show Up: The Dance of Walking through Suffering Together 4.9 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 17 reviews.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Loved the beautiful inspiration despite her suffering
Amaack More than 1 year ago
Kara Tippetts does it again. She writes this book with her friend Jill Buteyn about what it looks like to walk with a friend through serious "hard." While Buteyn does most of the writing, Tippetts adds her voice to the end of each chapter. I read this book in about 24 hours. Kara's story is so compelling, that as a reader, I found myself wanting to be a part of her circle of friendship. To walk with her through the hard even though I know what the ending will be. Buteyn and Tippetts provide the reader with a first hand account of what it looks like to walk with someone who is suffering, from both sides of the experience. The share the mistakes, the successes, and the "I'll do this better next time" moments. Their story is one that makes you hold your breath as you wait for the next moment, and even though this book does not specifically set out to share major details of Kara's story, you feel the emotion of the authors in each and every word written on the page. *I received a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review from NetGalley and David C Cook.*
taralynee More than 1 year ago
What a truly beautiful book. Everyone goes through suffering of some kind at some point. It’s part of life. There are many types of suffering, but we all have some share in it. This book by Kara Tippetts and Jill Lynn Buteyn was such a timely read for me. I had heard about Kara here and there but really came in contact with her story around this time last year. Just about the time I received my own scary diagnosis and discovered that I was entering my own hard. Over this past year, I’ve been through a lot. And when I began to hear about this new book, I knew it was one I had to read.. sooner rather than later. “Living our stories together,” as the back of the book says. That’s what this is all about. Although this book tells the story of Kara’s cancer, that’s not the focus. The focus is Jesus… and praising Him through our everyday lives by showing up for each other. By loving each other. Showing up can take on many forms… bringing meals, sending cards and texts, phone calls, flowers, listening, organizing paperwork or calling bill people, transportation to and from treatments.. the list is endless. Sometimes showing up means just simply being available. Just being silently present. As I read this story of community, God constantly brought to my mind different people who have shown up in one way or another for me over this past year. I prayed for these much-loved people as I thought of each one who has been a blessing in my life. I so related to the beauty that is this book.. the beauty of the community of dear friends that these ladies have written about. I should warn you.. it’s not an easy, light-hearted read. There is much discussion difficult situations. But it’s beautiful just the same because of their honesty and transparency and even smiles in the hard. It’s beautiful because I could relate, and I’m pretty sure that if we’re honest, we all can relate to an extent. And anyone who can’t.. well, then you need to read this book so you CAN relate. Because being available and just showing up for people who are hurting is something we all need to be able to do. This book gives insights and ideas if you don’t know how to show up for someone, and it describes how to be kind and sensitive and respectful with words.. while at the same time stressing that there just no perfect words and nothing you say is going to fix it. And.. when we let God lead us, He will surely use us in the lives of others, using our specific gifts and strengths to be just exactly what they need. It reiterates that suffering doesn’t mean that God isn’t good. We have to learn and choose to believe that He is still always good. Even when the world says otherwise. Please read this book. No matter who you are. Whether you’re suffering or know someone who is, or if suffering and hard times are the furthest thing from your mind. Trust me, you need to read this book. I’ve been considering what food I would liken this book to… I can’t go with one specific food on this one though. Rather, I have to say that this book is like a meal brought over by a friend. Made or purchased with love, whatever best fits the personality and life of the friend doing the giving. It just fits. You should read the book, and then you’ll know why.
BrittanyMc More than 1 year ago
I enjoyed reading Just Show Up, which feels like a strange thing to type considering that the book is full of hard truths and painful situations. The two authors succeeded in writing a narrative on how to be there for someone who is going through a “hard”, as they liked to put it. In this case, the “hard” was Kara fighting a cancer battle that was not to be won here on earth. Although Just Show Up deals with the sadness of knowing that Kara won’t be long for the world, I actually found the book to be very uplifting. It is full of practical advice for how to actually be there and be a true friend to those around us. There are also plenty of amusing anecdotes to keep the reading flowing along and lighten the heavier moments. I appreciated the direct way both authors wrote about the importance of being someone who actually shows up and jumps in to help, as opposed to saying, “Let me know if there is any way I can help.” Their advice is so sound. I think this book is really a must read. We all need to know how to be there to help those we call friends during hard and painful times in their lives. Just Show Up is an excellent guide to encourage us to do just that. I received a complimentary copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
richardblake More than 1 year ago
Parallel Stories of Friendship throughout a Difficult Journey of Suffering and Uncertainty “Just Show Up – the Dance of Walking through Suffering Together” is packed with concrete, suggestions, supportive ideas, and meaningful information for reciprocal friendship during hard times and suffering. Authors Kara Tippetts and Jill Lynn Buteyn team up to share their story of a deep meaningful friendship throughout Karen’s life and death battle with cancer. Kara and Jill explore the concepts of the long good-bye, the ministry of silence, and the gift of presence. They express them from two viewpoints, that of the giver and that of the receiver. Theirs is a story of nurturing friendship through pain and tiredness, insecurity and doubt, of unfathomly hard days, and the beauty and of being surprised by joy on a good day. Careful consideration of the discussion prompts, are included for opening honest dialog in a group setting or for individual contemplation and will add to the personal impact and value of the book for individual readers; and immense help for anyone experiencing the process of anticipatory grief. Anyone who had or is going through the suffering of a friend or loved one will find solace, comfort and support throughout the pages of “Just Show Up – the Dance of Walking through Suffering Together.” A complimentary copy of this book was provided for review purposes. The opinions expressed are my own.
michelemorin More than 1 year ago
Conversation at the Door Some of our most important and profound words are said in doorways. Because someone is leaving, words spoken at the door are often more consequential, more weighty. Time is short and must not be frittered away. An entire evening may pass filled with light conversation and meandering stories until it’s time to say goodbye, and suddenly the flow of words gushes into the streambed of relevance. In Just Show Up, Kara Tippetts and Jill Lynn Buteyn are standing in the door together, and this record of their words is raw and real. Kara, author of The Hardest Peace, writes from the perspective of a cancer patient in her final days. (Kara passed away in March 2015 shortly after the book’s completion.) Jill speaks as a close friend who has offered her hands and her heart in service to Kara and her family. What emerges from their shared writing is a chronicle of the painful, long good-by called cancer, many reassuring and sometimes humorous stories about the agony and the awkwardness of a friendship in which cancer is the unwanted third wheel, the helplessness of watching a dear friend suffer, and the need for both parties to put all pretense aside and fall into the rhythm of God’s choreography. This pouring out of words about friendship and suffering would be enough if that was all that lived between the covers of Just Show Up — but it’s not, for in the way of showing up, Jill and Kara learned valuable and practical lessons about loving and saying goodbye: •The uncomfortable dance of giving and receiving help can be relieved somewhat by clear communication. Being specific is key. For example, rather than vague “call-me-if-you-need-anything” statements, offer to grocery shop, to provide transportation to appointments, to assist children with school projects. •When you provide a meal, use disposable dishes. Suggest that the family place a cooler on the front steps so that meals can be dropped off unobtrusively without impacting family time. Ask for guidelines on family food preferences and allergies. •Don’t visit when you are sick! •Put your giftedness at the family’s disposal. If you are a skilled photographer, offer to take pictures of the family. Put your organizational skills to work managing their mail or other details. •Don’t become overwhelmed or neglect your own family responsibilities. If you add a caring role to your life, subtract something else to make room for it. •Mourn the loss of your relationship as it used to be, but then find a new normal. Jill and Kara drew from the wisdom offered in an LA Times article called “How Not to Say the Wrong Thing,” which described a series of concentric circles with the name of the person who is suffering in the center. From there, place the names of family and friends with this in mind: the closer one is to the person who is suffering, the closer their name goes to the center ring. Using that as a guide, the key is this: “Comfort in. Dump out.” For example, Jill did not complain to Kara’s family at all (about anything), but Kara’s husband was free to be honest with Jill about his struggles and observations regarding Kara’s decline. As a general rule, if in doubt, err on the side of comforting instead of dumping. In a way, what we have here is a devastatingly practical book on the theology of suffering and the sovereignty of God. With tears, protesting the suffering, and mourning the brevity of Kara’s life, both Kara and Jill assert the truth tha
Baranski1987 More than 1 year ago
Emotionally moving! Just Show Up, By: Kara Tippetts & Jill Lynn Buteyn I was so moved and touched emotionally by this book Just Show Up. What a story that shows someone that is so concerned about those who care for her and her family. Not wanting to be a burden to anyone. She wants to help in any way that she can. Making sure that people take care of their own needs also. To have such a emotional drive to do what she can for others. Her faith remains strong through this difficult time. She touches lives in so many different ways. Helping family and friends deal with what is to come. Living her life the best that she can. I was moved to tears reading this book. It is such a touching and powerful story. Be sure to get your copy today! 5 stars!
RandomAmb More than 1 year ago
I've never read a book quite like Just Show Up. The book is meant to be helpful and to motivate people to actually show up when others are suffering. Kara Tippetts was diagnosed with breast cancer shortly after she met Jill Lynn Buteyn. Ignoring her anxieties, Jill stepped up and became a real source of support for Kara. Just Show Up is the story of their relationship. Jill's parts of the story are insightful and immensely helpful if you're wondering how to act around someone who is suffering or wondering what to say (or not say). Hearing Kara's opinions about what hurt the most in terms of reactions or comments from friends was both enlightening and surprising. You'll undoubtedly cringe at some point in this story when you happen upon a situation you've been in--I'm sure just about all of us have made a comment we wish we could take back! I feel much more prepared for the next time someone I know is suffering. I have ideas of what not to say and how to actually help. One of the most interesting ideas in Just Show Up was the comfort in, dump out circle. It's a simple illustration that helps you determine who you should talk about what--you never want to complain or vent about a situation to someone who is closer to the situation than you are. I know that sounds murky, but read the book--they explain it very well! I was amazed by the things Kara did to plan for her family to be taken care of after her death. Her friends built a community around her in the face of tragedy. I'm planning to pass this book on immediately, but I think I'll pick up another copy for a refresher when I'm facing this type of situation. I highly recommend Just Show Up to anyone who wants to be supportive and helpful to people who are suffering. I received this book in exchange for an honest review.
Dismas More than 1 year ago
The copy I have is a free copy from the Publisher, which as I understand it has no strings attached. Just Show Up by Kara Tippetts is a book that the author wrote during a tragic time of her life, which was made tolerable by her own response to those times. This appears to have been a response triggered by the community of friends she was fortunate to have been a member of; and this group showed Gods’ love through a Christian response to her battles with cancer. Previously I read her up-coming book “And It Was Beautiful”, also from David C. Cook and the writing there was both comforting and informative. I highly recommend this book, and I suspect I will any of her work; it’s easy reading that is moving and in some way comforting. In this book, the Kara’s writing did not disappoint; and the co-author Jill Lynn Buteyn did not either. Both wrote well here. She (Jill) reminded me that “Your life is not about you”, which I learned from Richard Rohr; the reminder was a help. I haven’t finished this read; but it’s very good so far. I think you’ll like it.
booksandbeverages More than 1 year ago
“The beauty in showing up, in choosing to enter the dance even though you might not know the steps, is that God creates something beautiful from our attempts.” I truly am thankful for the friends in my life. I could write a book of all the stories of all the times my girlfriends were there when I needed. I am truly blessed by the women in my life and don’t know what I would do without them. Whether in the little or big things, the Lord has used them so much. I think of the time when my mom had a heart attack and had to have quadruple bypass surgery, my best friend was there in so many ways, whether picking my up from the airport and taking me to the hospital, to bringing Del Taco and just hanging out since I was at the hospital for two weeks straight. Like I said, I can share so many other stories, but I know y’all know the kind of friends I’m talking about. This book shares that kind of friendship and I highly recommend it to everyone. Life can be hard and it’s a blessing to have friends to be there by your side in all of it. With the truth of scripture and rooted in real life emotions, struggles and joy, this book is a story of friendship and, not only how important it is, but how beautiful it is. This is a book we all should read. Whether you’ve already experienced hard times or not yet, there will be times when we need this story more than others. It’s not easy and it’s really messy, but from it beautiful things can come and this book is a shining example of that. I loved the honesty from both women, the vulnerability and the practical advice too. It’s a compelling read and worth your time. When are some times your friends have been a gift to you? (Thank you to Litfuse and David C Cook for a copy of the book in exchange for my honest review) Originally posted at: http://booksandbeverages.org/2015/10/19/just-show-up-by-kara-tippetts-and-jill-lynn-buteyn-book-review/
JeanneTakenaka More than 1 year ago
Just Show Up, by Kara Tippetts and Jill Buteyn, is a moving book about learning how to walk through the hard seasons of life with those we care about. Tippetts and Buteyn do a masterful job of sharing how their stories intertwined and deepened as Jill Buteyn walked with Kara Tippetts through her cancer journey. Buteyn shares with vulnerability her fears, lessons learned and practical applications on how to walk through the hard seasons with friends. Kara shares her insights about her journey and the importance of the people who gathered around her during her cancer journey. I appreciated how Jill Buteyn shared with honesty about the struggles she had with insecurity in figuring out how to show up for Kara Tippetts. This is something many of us deal with. The key for these two ladies (and the others who circled around Kara Tippetts) was in building and deepening friendships. Buteyn also shares some great practical ways to “show up” for those who are struggling in our lives. And some of those ways surprised me with their simplicity and their common sense. Sooner or later, most of us will be impacted by a loved one forced to walk a journey like this one. Whether it’s illness, life circumstances or other events, Just Show Up helps readers prepare to be effective in walking alongside the one suffering. At the end of each chapter, two questions are posed for further contemplation or discussion with a book group. I found them to be thought-provoking and insightful. I highly recommend this book, and I’ve already handed it out to a couple people who find themselves in the midst of walking alongside a friend dealing with illness. **I received an advanced copy of this book with no obligation to leave a review. All opinions are my own.
StephanieAdams More than 1 year ago
Kara Tippetts and Jill Buteyn show us the beauty in the dance of giving and receiving community in the midst of life’s hard in the book Just Showing Up. Kara’s words sit heavy on the reader’s heart because we know the final chapter of her story here on earth. Yet we are drawn into her telling in this book because we understand she used her precious time to impart the importance of “the ministry of presence—simply showing up and being there for someone.” (page 73) Jill does a beautiful job of carrying the mantle handed down by Kara to make sure her message of showing up in the midst of hard is not only read, but planted into the heart of the reader to grow their own community. Kuddos to publisher, David C. Cook, for seamlessly joining the telling of the dance of these two friends learning to show up and live well by giving and receiving the presence of friendship.
MeezCarrie More than 1 year ago
Whether you yourself live with chronic/terminal illness or you just love someone who does, this book needs to be on your read-list ASAP. Just Show Up is a beautifully written, heartfelt and practical look at walking through “hard” with a friend. Both Jill’s and Kara’s humor provides much needed levity in a book that begins “Hi. My name is Kara Tippetts, and I may not be alive when you read this book.” In fact, she isn’t – on earth, anyway. Kara won her hard-fought battle with breast cancer in March of this year (2015) and is now with Jesus. She completed her contributions to Just Show Up before her death, and her words carry the added weight of this poignancy, yes, but also reflect once more her delightful and grace-filled personality. Jill's ability to admit and poke fun at her own fears and comfort zones gave me the freedom to rest in my introverting and acknowledge that growing friendship as an introvert in the middle of “hard” is indeed possible. And not even all that painful, according to Jill. Good news for introvert me. On the flip side of that coin… “The tough-love news is that introverting is not an excuse for avoiding community – although I have attempted to use it as one before.” Uhhh…yeah. Me too. So much easier just to read a book than to show up in the middle of someone else’s pain, isn’t it? Another thing I loved so much about Just Show Up is how practical it is. We’re not just told to show up – we’re given hints on how to do that. This book is full of ideas that are relatively easy to implement – for you and the person you are serving. Things like putting a cooler on your friend’s front doorstep/porch so people can drop off meals without disrupting rest or family time. Pack an extra lunch for their child while you’re packing your own child’s lunch. And tons more! There’s also a great section about the Christian platitudes we need to stop using (seriously. If you can’t say something besides a platitude, don’t say anything at all.) and who to vent your feelings to versus who to comfort. Now, I’m not gonna lie to you. Yes, I laughed while reading Just Show Up. But I also ugly-cried a few times. Like as soon as I started reading Kara’s introduction (I’ve already mentioned the first sentence). Every time I read Jill’s thoughts that begin her sections, the raw emotions and reactions she felt as she journeyed through “hard” with Kara, I ugly-cried. But oh my heart, it’s so worth it. (I received a copy of this book in exchange for only my honest review.)
RachelLundy More than 1 year ago
Kara Tippets battled cancer for two and a half years. During that time, many friends came around the Tippetts family to support and serve them. Kara is now home in Heaven, but before passing from this life to the next, she and her friend, Jill Lynn Buteyn, wrote a book about walking with a friend through suffering. Kara and Jill loved and served each other well, and their friendship is an example to follow. Their book, Just Show Up, will be a helpful resource to others who are going through a season of suffering with a friend. It can be difficult to know how to be there for a friend who is suffering. In Just Show Up, Kara and Jill share practical ideas of ways to be there for, and serve, a family in need. They allow the reader a peek into the community that surrounded the Tippetts family during the past three years. They are open about the hard parts and the awkward parts. They share about the tension, the struggles, the insecurities, and the highs and lows. They share honestly about the fact that mistakes were made and that grace was needed. Just Show Up has a conversational tone, making you feel like you are right there chatting with Kara and Jill as they share about facing hard times of suffering together. They speak to the one who is walking through suffering with a friend as well as to the one who is suffering herself. I especially appreciated the personal stories that were shared from the community of support that surrounded the Tippetts family. It was a beautiful thing to see how the body of Christ can come alongside a suffering member and love them well in their hard season. Just Show Up is for the one with a friend who is suffering and in need of help and support. It is for the one who wants to be there for a friend in need, but doesn’t know what to do. It is for the one who is chronically ill and is needing guidance regarding her role in friendship when her abilities are limited. This would be a great book for two friends, one who is ill and one who is healthy, to read together as they navigate the awkwardness that comes when friendship is lopsided because one friend simply can’t give much. It would also be a great book for a group of friends to read together as they prepare to show up for a friend in need. I highly recommend this book! I received a review copy of Just Show Up from David C. Cook via NetGalley. All opinions are my own.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Just as Kara Tippetts book "The Hardest Peace" touched my heart with her openness and honesty about how tough things in this life can attack us but God is still God in the midst of it all and His love reaches us where we live. Kara and Jill Lynn Butelyn did a fabulous job of keeping out focus on how we can help others in their hard times. Keeping our eyes on "it's not about me" but on doing what is needed for others so as to glorify God will help[ us in our own times of "hard". This book will touch your heart and challenge you to go beyond our comfort zones to be a light in this dark world. Kara showed she is God's child up til her death and did not waver from seeing His blessings in the midst of her journey. Wow!
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Even though I have had opportunities to personally observe and enter the very journey Kara and Jill write about, I am amazed, humbled and inspired by the account of compassion, kindness, sharing, hoping, bumbling, caring, communicating and seeking togetherness through suffering. In reading, I have learned new and practical ways to support and pray for my friends and family who hurt, and to recognize their willingness to reach out to me in my own trials. Showing up is neither scripted nor easy, but it is worth it both now and in eternity. You will not be sorry you read this book, nor that you followed any of its recommendations. Genuine love is always big, even when it may feel small, and it always shows up.
Theophilusfamily More than 1 year ago
"Just Show Up" is both a practical guidebook and a personal revelation, co-written by two friends, Jill and Kara. At the time of the writing, Kara was fighting cancer, and Jill was part of her supportive (and beloved) community. Shortly before publication, Kara passed away, and Jill completed this book while loving on Kara's family and friends as they all grieved this loss. If you've read Kara's first book "The Hardest Peace," then you'll have already absorbed pieces of her story. That book was also written during her fight with cancer, and out of her pain and sickness she gifted readers with words of life, a glimpse into her family and their Big Love. She captured, in a few short chapters, why it is so good and so hard to be human. If you haven't read "Hardest Peace," then perhaps you grabbed this book because of the subtitle: the dance of walking through suffering together. Perhaps you're trying to navigate the rough waters of a terrible diagnosis in your family, and you need somebody who understands how you feel as you take care of somebody else. Jill and Kara are good guides to turn to. The first portion of this book is intensely practical. They begin by explaining that when it comes to blessing somebody in a hard situation, Just Show Up is the most important principle. If you don't take the risk of going to them, nothing beautiful can happen between you. They next suggest ways to show up and meet specific needs according to your abilities, at the right time and with no expectations. Then they address the need for the "helper" to have their own support system, and the need to be honest about how bad you'll feel even as a supposedly "unaffected" helper. You'll probably feel guilty thinking like this, but the thoughts will come: "This is so hard for me! They're the one who's suffering, and I feel so bad! Who do I turn to?" Jill and Kara make it clear: when you have somebody you're giving comfort to, and you need somebody to dump on. Together, Jill and Kara go to their vulnerable places in this book. Once they move past the more advice-based parts, they return to Kara's story, as seen by Jill and other friends who walked beside her. At the end, you know this truth unshakably: The God who is God-with-us made us to be with each other, and if you choose to be with someone in the hard, then you may never know how very much your choice means, because it does. I thank David C Cook for providing me with a review copy in exchange for my thoughts.