Kama Pootra: 52 Mind-Blowing Ways to Poop

Kama Pootra: 52 Mind-Blowing Ways to Poop

3.2 10
by Daniel Cole Young
     
 

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52 Mind-Blowing Ways to Poop

The only known translation of an ancient manual instructing readers in the art of enlightened bathroom experience, the Kama Pootra offers a thrilling rediscovery of the tiled path to porcelain nirvana.

Willing seekers will find fifty-two progressive positions designed to maximize how you do number two.

Overview

52 Mind-Blowing Ways to Poop

The only known translation of an ancient manual instructing readers in the art of enlightened bathroom experience, the Kama Pootra offers a thrilling rediscovery of the tiled path to porcelain nirvana.

Willing seekers will find fifty-two progressive positions designed to maximize how you do number two.

Every time the bathroom door closes, a new experience awaits.

Editorial Reviews

Metro New York
This upcoming coffee table book (which is probably inappropriate for most coffee tables) by Daniel Cole Young keeps it simple and relies on that great tenet of "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia": Poo is funny. Always.
From the Publisher
"This upcoming coffee table book (which is probably inappropriate for most coffee tables) by Daniel Cole Young keeps it simple and relies on that great tenet of "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia": Poo is funny. Always." - Metro New York

Product Details

ISBN-13:
9781402253737
Publisher:
Sourcebooks
Publication date:
05/01/2010
Sold by:
Barnes & Noble
Format:
NOOK Book
Pages:
128
File size:
4 MB

Related Subjects

Read an Excerpt

From Solo:

The Kama Pootra begins as a personal study of reflection and meditation. Before one can understand the Kama Pootra, he must possess an open mind freed from any preconceived notions about bathroom behavior. The positions presented in this chapter are intended for the student alone. To begin, familiarize yourself with your surroundings: the coolness of a porcelain toilet, the contours of a tiled floor, the silken touch of toilet paper. Survey your anatomy with a close examination of what Arthur Rimbaud, the nineteenth-century French poet, referred to as the "enticing olive."* If you have never seen yourself in stark detail, try crouching over a carefully angled hand mirror.

Once you have an understanding of your body type and anatomy, you may begin to try the basic positions of the Kama Pootra. It is certain that some of these tasks may be uncomfortable at first, but remember that hard work is always plentifully rewarded in the bathroom.

The Gold Standard

The Gold Standard is the foundation for all poop studies included in this book. When boys and girls enter into bathroom maturity-a good number by age three and some prodigious children as early as six months-this basic position is the first pose taught in Western toilet centric cultures. It is remarkable for its simplicity and undemanding physical nature. A famous Zimbabwean proverb stipulates, "If you can speak, you can sing. If you can walk, you can dance." Likewise: if you can sit, you can poop.

The Thinker

This is the premier position for deep contemplation. Many of the great philosophers in history used bathroom time to formulate theories about human nature. Take time to ponder life's greatest questions:

· What is the source of my happiness?

· Am I eating healthy enough?

· When did I eat so much corn?

90 Degrees

This position utilizes the full curvature of the toilet seat for a more well-rounded experience. Students with larger bottoms (water buffalo or elephants) will find that the 90 Degrees position is more comfortable because additional width is afforded by sitting perpendicular. This position is also useful for unsecured restrooms in that it allows greater options to observe the door directly.

The Lotus

This position is achieved by intertwining the legs upon the toilet seat to gain what the maharishis call "toilet levitation." The Lotus position is an excellent way to meditate and release the stresses and anxieties that build up from a modern caloric intake. Meditation in concert with a full release can elevate the consciousness to a plane approaching bathroom nirvana.

The Reverse

The Reverse position offers the student a new perspective of the bathroom, a 180, if you will, from the traditional positions of the Kama Pootra. By simply turning around from the standard position, the back is given a free range of motion should the student need to lean back or contort herself. From this position one can assume complete control of the toilet. A "drop and flush" maneuver can be completed in one fluid motion as the toilet is brought under quick and easy control.

The Breast Exam

An important aspect of the Kama Pootra is maintaining a healthy body. The Kama Pootra views the physical body as a sacred poop vault that must not be neglected. Harboring toxins and illness impairs the ability to harness maximum pleasure from a healthy poop experience. Maintaining a clean lifestyle and routinely performing self-screenings are simple proactive ways to retain the Kama Pootra's full potential. While the most dangerous foe of the Kama Pootra is no doubt colon cancer, women should use this position at least once a month to check for unexpected lumps and hard masses. Your next poop may save your life

The Airplane Crash

This position is fashioned after the airplane safety manual, which-in the event of a crash-advises that the head should be placed between the legs, arms interlocked under the knees. If needed, grab your ankles for leverage as you anxiously proceed in making a water landing.

Meet the Author

Daniel Cole Young is a former radio contest writer who works as a consultant for major Hollywood studios. Young earned degrees in Computer Science and French at UC Davis and studied abroad in Paris and Grenoble.
Daniel Cole Young is a former radio contest writer who works as a consultant for major Hollywood studios. Young earned degrees in Computer Science and French at UC Davis and studied abroad in Paris and Grenoble.

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Kama Pootra: 52 Mind-Blowing Ways to Poop 3.2 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 10 reviews.
DobbsCD More than 1 year ago
This book is funny! I laugh every time I read it. The writing is clever. I never thought it would be possible to have 52 ways, but sure enough there are. I've given it to many friends and all loved it. Perfect for anyone's bathroom, seriously everyone could use some reading material in there from time to time.
bridget3420 More than 1 year ago
Whenever I find myself being to serious, all I have to do is pick up this book and instantly I'm falling over from laughing so hard. I keep Kama Pootra in the bathroom now and any time we have company we end up discussing this fascinating book. I love it!
Toni22 More than 1 year ago
I bought this book for my 35 year old son for Christmas this year because it was given as an exchange gift at our annual holiday party and the 30's crowd thought it was hysterical. they passed it around and laughed out loud. My son questioned why I would get him this book and I told him - he just said hmmmm....I think he went home and read it and laughed but don't know for sure. It is potty humor and would recommend for people who like that kind of humor.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
EWW ppl this us so wrong u just sit on the toilet and go like u parents tought u
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
It means sex toys.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I got the sample. Wut does it mean by 'positions with toys' in the contents? If someone could tell me, Id be thankful!
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Poop peeyou gross guys wrote this book and its stupid